Will it Blow, Part 1: Let's Watch Kanokon

I was going to ask the same thing.

I was thinking DBZ, but hell, maybe Kanokon too. It supposedly has more explanation of some things.

SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT! I wrote out pretty much the entire Live Blog, but unfortunately, the browser closed and I lost EVERYTHING I wrote. Now, I'm not going to rewatch the episode and re-liveblog it, but I'll give you all an abridged liveblog from what I remember, then continue on from where I left off. I'm seriously sorry, everybody.

Episode Six: Can I Ask This Of You? (holy crap! A non-sexual title!)

As I remember, Kouta was hanging out around his house. Some mailman type person dropped off mail, which turned out to be unimportant, then Kouta noted that this was the first New Year's he spent alone. I formulated a theory that Kouta is actually getting plenty, and that he's a serious sex offender. Chizuru then stopped by, wearing a kimono. I was treated to random unimportant interludes while all this was happening.

Chizuru tries to seduce Kouta, and fails, and I berated him on not doing her when he had a perfect chance to. Chizuru took the kimono off, revealing that she was actually wearing something underneath (shock!), a school swimsuit, or "sWINsuit" as I accidentally misspelled it. She then proceeded to make him food. I honestly wondered if it would turn out well. Kouta went to taste it, and the scene was interrupted by one of Lolitass waking up. I took this as meaning that the food was as great as her ass, which would mean that it is magnificent. Blah blah blah it actually did taste good, then Chizuru brought out a game that I suspected would be a major plot point. Apparently Kouta had to do whatever (erotic) instructions were asked of him when he landed on a space. Give that this game was magical, I made a Jumanji joke, 'cause that movie is friggin' aweosme. Also, there were hilariously bad CG dice, which made me laugh.

The last spaces on the board all said, "Make love with the person in front of you.", and were very obviously taped on by Chizuru. If it weren't for Lolitass arriving, then something would've happened, for sure. I suggested that Kouta actually wanted to wait to have sex with Chizuru for a valid reason, mainly related to his manwhore/sex offender ways, because, "I like rape. It's better than regular sex."

As usual, lolpettanko and lolbeast insults ensue between the two girls, and then they all go to a festival. The rest of the crew, including weasel dude and frog girl, the lamest superhero duo ever, and Chizuru's brother, who gets punted off screen, show up. Earlier, Chizuru's brother was staring at the TV with a ridiculously serious face, likely practicing his mind powers. He was also practicing asking the tsundere bitch out, and for that I will never understand his taste in women. To my great anger, the twins have not shown up yet, but Chizuru's brother did make a cool Continuity Nod by stating attraction to the shrine maidens. For this he gained more awesome points.

The lesbian couple, looking more butch and femme than usual, arrived along with Asahina, with whom Chizuru's brother tried to make conversation with. Oh, yeah, there was some hilarious Erotic Eating earlier, especially well done by Lolitass. Chizuru tried to do the same, with that fluffy crap you get at carnivals that I STILL haven't remembered the goddamn name of, but failed due to the nature of Kouta and the food, being not as erotic as a round lolipop. Get it? LOL Ipop!? AHAHAHAHAHA... haa.

Asahina warns everybody of not drinking too much sweet wine, then downs her whole cup and demands more. Awesome. She can REALLY put away, seriously. And voila, her we are at the place I left off. Let's hope the problem that happened before doesn't repeat itself.

Yeah, Asahina is drunk. And there are few things worse (or better, depends) than a drunk tsundere.

Amazingly enough, we see Salesbro Number Two, whose stock of corndogs is gobbled up by Lolitass. I fully endorse corndogs mind you, they're really tasty. On the other hand, Chizuru takes her time eating a sausage in a particularly indecent manner.

GODDAMNIT YES!!! The twins show up, and are in charge of a shooting competition thingy, offered at a high price. These two are seriously my favourite characters in the whole show. The prizes they offer are worthless, but Asahina likes one beaten up stuffed rabbit. Naturally, Chizuru's brother tries to win it for her. The twins' epic scheme doesn't allow him to, though, ha ha!

Weasel and frog get along well, yes. Chizuru's brother wastes all his money, all of it, to win that crappy rabbit. Sadly, she's apssed out by now. And by apssed, I mean pased. And by pased, I mean passed.

Now the festival is over and they decide to go to Kouta's house, for whatever reason. They are GIANT BARRICADES OF DOOM, according to Chizuru. Guh. ED time. Whew, that was tough.

Next episode promises another episode of Kanokon. Yay. Also, pounding. Yay.

Moral(s) of the episode: Kouta is a Grade A sex offender. The twins are badass personified. Backup data before it all screws up, ya hear!?

Sorry for this mediocre Live Blog. It would've been better, if it weren't for those meddling crashes.

Also, I am sad no one noticed the Law & Order parody I made last time. It makes me sad to think that all that work went to waste. :sadface:

(Data backed up just in case, you bastards)

It left the double-punch sound from that series in my head every time I saw a timestamp.

There are browser plugins for that. I've got one on Chrome called Lazarus.

Hooray! It works for Firefox!

Thanks for the suggestion, Shay Guy. It'll come in handy in case I screw up again. Which I will, undoubtedly.

Let Me Warm You Up with another Kanokon Liveblog post! Hopefully it doesn't screw up this time.

Episode 7: Let Me Warm You Up (Oh, man, I love hot chocolate!)

Our story starts in front of Kouta's house, a house that seems to be better animated than last episode. It's an ordinary, everyday morning, complete with a large-breasted stalker/love interest. Excuse of the episode: she's cold! Kouta honestly seems to be getting used to this. His reaction is more along the lines of, "My golly gosh this is a minor inconvenience!" this time. He is kinda freaked out when Chizuru wants to "trap him in her pure white mountains" as she put it. As expected, she fails at getting in his pants. Surprisingly, she's stopped not by a loli with an amazing ass, but a gust of snow and wind. Sex is kind of hard when it's really friggin' cold.

"Alright then, let's continue!" "No! It's time to go to school!" "Who cares!" Words to live by. For some reason there is a ninja on a nearby rooftop! A highly visible one, at that. She does not seem to be amused, but she does seem to be listening in on Kouta and Chizuru's conversation. Only the OP can save us from her perverted... pervertedness. I dunno, I don't know her character yet. All I have to say is that it must involve the twins somehow.

Have you ever seen the snow comin' down, on a partly cloudy day? Kouta gives some exposition on his hometown and how it snowed there and he liked it and how I really don't care. Apparently where Chizuru used to live is a place built upon Snow Means Love and Onsen Episodes. Again, Chizuru slides the topic back to her seducing him. But wait! Now a snow ninja appears! Well actually, she looks kinda like a snow Chun Li. Still weird, though. Kouta arrives at school, not saying a word about what just happened. Asahina asks the terribly stupid question of, "It's snowing, isn't it?", and Nozomu goes up and sniffs Kouta. Just another average day.

So apparently the snow ninja is here to observe Chizuru on her quest for the holy penis, presumably so that she can take pictures. Blah blah blah he's a human, you're a kitsune, you can't be together, go screw yourself. Blah blah blah bondage. Er, bonds, rather.

Hooray, Chizuru's brother shows up and asks to copy Kouta's math homework! What an amazing plot development! Kouta actually agrees, but then the tsuntsun bitch does not. Hey, even Kouta is comparing that snowy chick from earlier to a ninja. I was right! For once. Naturally, everyone but Chizuru's brother assumes that this ninja is another addition to the pseudo-harem. Some dialogue later, now Chizuru has to do some sort of test to prove her love. Then the ninja turned into a tornado.

It seems that this is heading to become a Snowed-In episode. Hey, look, it's the totally not evil student counselor! Nice to see him again, whackin' people with his wood. Man, his eyes are wiiiiiide. The guy doesn't blink! Not at all! Now that other student counselor or whatever she is appears. Yay?

Their first decision is to make the frog girl "excrete her oil" once again. This fails, due to her frog-like nature. Now somebody's dug a hole in the classroom and went down it. Also a bear.

The character mention how terribly cold they are, as if we didn't know already, and now Chizuru is back. The ninja is apparently attacking Kouta. Also, she is building an army of snowmen.

Some time later, the school is even more icy and snowy and stuff. The lesbians and the tsundere are huddled up with the rest of the nameless class around a heater. The twins, though they are nameless, are not there. I'm hoping they have an awesome moment later in the episode.

Poor Chizuru's brother is the Only Sane Man in the group, though 'sane' really does get stretched in this series. He does get to point out that, once again, everyone stands a chance of just dying within the hour. Surprisingly, this school has a 100% attendance rate and a 0% mortality rate. There are no mortals here!

The femme side of the yuri couple falls asleep, causing the other girl much distress. Asahina smiles at their suffering. (No, seriously, she does. What a bitch.)

But who cares 'cause THE TWINS are here! Hell yeah. They give the sage wisdom that only homeless people like them can understand: the use of newspapers as insulators. Come on, these two are EASILY the Ensemble Dark Horse duo of this series, despite having only a few seconds of screen time in most episodes. The other characters don't matter.

Back on Hoth, the four M Cs are faced with the obstacle known as an snowman. It even speaks like a Pokemon! Chizuru's brother, as the only competent member of the group, is forced to take it down. Cue the standard, yet awesome, battle music. The snowman is really, really fast, but Chizuru's brother kicks it and it... dies, I guess? "How's that, you dipshit?" Precision S Strike that only this guy could pull off. But wait!!

Like many snowmen in fiction, this one has split into many more copies. Chizuru's brother is then defeated. Horribly, horribly defeated. Now, the snowmen take their revenge on the other characters. Even though they have nothing to really be vengeful about toward them.

In The Twins' cardboard tent, the students there are eating steamed pot. This pot is omnipotent. Actually, according to The Twins, they are indeed eating "weed". Then they explain how they take meat that a store owner (Salesbro!?) "leaves out for them", inside of a "large bucket". But they still eat it, damnit! Best. Homeless People. EVER.

Now we're back to the characters that matter far less than the twins. They're currently running through a much icier school that also has a higher ceiling. Luckily, the snowmen are not smart enough to realize that they opened up a door into an equally frozen classroom. Hey, they're all going to die quite soon, if Chizuru's brother's estimate is correct. Aww, poor Kouta is cold! Now, relating t to the title, two girls have to heroically warm him up! And no, they don't argue about it more than they actually do it. But then they compete to see who can warm him more. Or maybe they're trying to figure out which of them can make him feel more awkward.

While they do this shameless act- NINJA! Apparently she isn't completely homicidal, and is putting the blame for slowly killing the school on Chizuru. The ninja is also very angry that Kouta was close to having sex with Chizuru, and she launches her snowy form at him. This is blocked by Nozomu, who gets turned into an adorable giant snowball! I can't stop laughing at this, it's too cute and ridiculous. This is supposed to be serious, but then... Snowball!Nozomu. Then she gets rolled around!

Oh noes, Kouta is barely hanging on! Now, using their power of love, they fuse into Kouchunks, the kitsune dude! They blast a hole in the ground, showing the ninja Chun Li their power. The two prepare a Spirit Bomb, but it's no use, 'cause Yukihana the ninja is fine with their show of force earlier. The skies clear, and the snow remains. Then she leaves, telling Chizuru to bring Kouta back home, presumably so that he can meet more horny fox girls.

The twins are the only people who actually care about Chizuru's brother, and they poke his fuzzy frozen head. Also, Nozomu is super frozen, and even more cute! Wow, her being stuck into a giant snowball actually made me like her more. Crazy! ED time, though.

Next episode, it seems that they actually do go to Chizuru's hometown or whatever you call it.

Moral of the episode: You can never have too much of The Twins. They should seriously be considered Ensemble Darkhorses.

See ya this Wednesday.

Woah. I've left this to die! But now I'm back for good, I hope. This is totally intentional, folks. It's all part of the act.

In all seriousness, though, I'll try my hardest not to mess up again.

Alright, back to: Let's Watch Kanokon, it's So Bad, It's Good... I think.

Episode 8: Shall We Enter Together?

The animation in this show, especially the scenery is really awesome. I'm surprised this got a decent budget.

So, we meet Kouta and Chizuru, and they're hanging out in front of some hot springs. Unsurprisingly, their friends decided to come along. Except the twins. Awww. After some highly expected fighting (why are these people friends?), they're greeted by two people who look conspicuously like Chizuru. But it's OP time.

I am eating a potato, and that seems somehow relevant to a past episode.

And yes, it turns out that Tayura and Chizuru are related to these people, despite Tayura not looking anything like any of them. Kouta is really shocked for some reason at the fact that these people are family. He's probably planning his sexual conquests this very moment. Chizuru's mother has been waiting for him, apparently. I've got a bad (or good?) feeling about this.

Oh crap a loli in the bath. I'm betting she's going to be important later. Or sooner, maybe. After an explanation of the baths, the group goes to their rooms. The girls and boys are separated very poorly. It's like they weren't even trying. It's like they wanted something to happen. As expected, Chizuru promises happily to rape Kouta in his sleep. Pleasant.

Chizuru stomps off, and is joined by Kouta, of all people. They talk about what amounts to nothing, and of course... Nozomu (goddamnit I'm forgetting names) wants to "bathe" with Kouta. Same as every episode. Thus, he goes alone. Seriously, this kid needs to choose. But then again, it's probably all part of his plan. Meanwhile, Nozumo is with Chuzuri in the other bath, playing with rubber duckies. A lot of rubber duckies. Aaaand BAM, nipple. Not many of those in this show.

It seems that Chizuru's MILF I mean mother is going to, uh, "wash" Kouta. I never knew perversion was hereditary. There are just so many ways Kouta could take advantage of the situations he's in. There need to be more anime protagonists who do that, but are smart, unlike Makoto.

So, Chizuru overhears this incident, and we get a full body shot of her as a result. This episode is now much more blatant in its fanservice than any so far! Needless to say, Chiz Noz aren't happy about this. Not one bit.

BUT! While that's going on, Tayura is climbing the Cliffs of Insanity in order to get to Asahina. Now THAT'S dedication, if for a rather dirty purpose. Kouta should take a cue from him, really.

BUT WAIT! Again! It seems that, in the shocking revelation of the century, Chizuru isn't related to the person that is Chizuru's mother but actually isn't! Both her and Tayura just decided to be family after a while! But that still doesn't explain why Tayura looks nothing like Chizuru! Damn you spirit genetics!

In other news, wow this episode is niptacular. Niptacular? Nipplicious? Nipton Tea? I don't know anymore. But who cares, because this segues into a battle between two naked, Super Saiyan ladies that happen to be very foxy. But this battle is one of seducation-er, seduction. That was actually a typo, but it turned out awesome. And in this battle, Chiz Mom wins.

To give us this episode's bout of mind screw, it turns out that the bath Tayura was aiming to get to holds... baboons. At least I think they're baboons. Sexy, sexy baboons. Poor Tayura falls off the cliff, the only logical conclusion to this problem.

Now it's dinner time. Tayura isn't there, of course, but no one cares about him. Funny enough, his sister is missing, too. This only means one thing: Her mother is seducing Kouta. Oh, and look, she's trying to get him drunk. It seems everyone is enjoying this fine ale, brewed in the deepest cities of the dwarves. A fine ale that is a love potion for normal humans! What a twist everyone, what a twist.

Chizuru finally shows up, and finds the worst thing she could imagine: Nozomu drinking with Kouta. Something that is not any more unusual than normal events for this show. Chizuru bravely snatches the drink from him, but it is too late! It seems the catch of this episode is Kouta being temporarily in love with Nozomu. Ha! Imagine that, Kouta with emotions! That's just silly.

So, as you know, the other characters are human too. So, guess what subtextual couple fall for it? Yeah, those two lesbians that I honestly forgot the names of. Really good scene with them actually. Really clever. And it seemed like they were going to do it. This show sure can be a tease at times.

And Tayura is busy drugging up Asahina for his pleasure, like the sly sex tiger that he is. Though her rampant alcoholism is still in play here. So, she falls in love with the drink, which is really expected considering Tayura's Butt-Monkey status.

Chizuru is still trying to seduce Kouta back to her side. Even laying down naked in a smallified Viking longship doesn't work, and Nozomu and Kouta run off to have sex. And Kouta is extremely willing. And more importantly than that, the loli is back, talking about her "Big Brother". I have a VERY bad feeling about this.

Well, now Chizuru is feeling depressed, and it's actually much less humorous than usual. Cue comedy cue comedy cue comedy... nope, nothing. Woah, I'm surprised. This is pretty intense for Kanokon. Not sure if this is good or bad, though. Drama in a comedic show can really ruin it sometimes.

Awww, poor Chizuru. This does really do well to show her character, though.

And, at the last moment, Kouta snaps out of it, and runs to find Chizuru, and she hugs him happily. D'awww! Just goes to show; never accept drinks from strangers/ This is good message for youth, no?

The party leaves the MILF at her inn, and resume their journey to Veridian city. But what awaits them next time, on Kanomon?

ED time, folks.

Well, that was a nice episode. Funny, and overall pretty good for this series. The next episode has OH MY GOD THE TWINS ARE NINJAS. Okay, now I have real incentive to watch this.

Until next time. Whenever that may be.

Alright, I'm full of peanut butter cookies and I'm ready to get down to watch some Kanokon, episode whatever.

Kanokon Episode 9: The Sensation Is Too Much! (Wait, I think this is the first episode title without a question mark. Finally.)

So an emo kid and a loli float onto a roof...

...and it turns out they're emo/loli-peeping on Kouzuru's private time. Surprisingly, it's actually pretty tame for... well, those two. And in another shocking twist, he actually likes it. This episode is looking good already!

And why do they still have no noses!? It's been secretly bugging me this whole time. I just accepted it, not wanting to be too nitpicky, but now it's just getting to me. You need a nose! You can't smell without that! Smelling is important! I mean, normally I'm kinda fine with it. Even Kouta's dot-nose is alright, after I got used to remembering that it's not a bug on my monitor. But Chizuru... oh, man, Chizuru...

Back to the actual show, those two have their fun, and it turns out the the loli has made Kouta her onii-chan. That isn't going to end well. Magical lolis never do. And she's pretty adamant about it all. Almost hot blooded, even.

That's it, a theme: how hot-blooded can she get!? (After all, this show is just a little bit away from being DBZ In HIGH SCHOOL) But oh noes it's the OP.

DAMN IT ALL! It's "This Sensation Is Too Much?" With a question mark! Gah! And I thought I was going to see a change here.

In awesome news, the twins are fighting a giant centipede. Also I finished another cookie. Turns out the names of the twins are "Ren" and "Ai". Clever? And yes, they are fucking ninjas. Unfortunately, they're a little incompetent. Luckily for them, Pikachu uses Thunderbolt and it's super effective. And it was the loli who did it! The loli is Pikachu! Also, crazy! And the Twins have a father! And a house! They're not actually homeless, what the hell Kanokon? I thought you were going to send an empowering message to all the homeless people who will see this.

Also the characters have incredibly large heads right now for some reason. Am I trippin'? Oh, damnit, I need to take a screencap of this. You NEED to see their faces. I have never seen such plain disinterest.

Here you go.◊ I think I'm gonna make an avatar out of one of their faces. So cute, though!

Anyways, there's some crap about Golden Nine-Tailed Foxes and Death Stones and Ewoks but nobody cares 'cause the twins are chatting about tea. And their father does indeed say that they're poor. So maybe their target demographic is not the homeless, but the poor. That's cool with me, I guess, maybe.

So basically, the loli (Minori) and emo Rider want to stop the daughter of the Nine-Tailed Fox, so they talk to the Twins who happen to be badass ninjas.

Cut to the school, where Chizuru is backing Kouta into a corner. Still no noses, though Chizuru has a little dot in the middle of her face in a few shots. Outside, the Twins are watching them, hanging from a tree and giving out fanservice in the form of obligatory pantyshots. And I thought those were going to wait until Ikki Tousen! Nice scenery, though. I admit it would be funnier if their skirts stayed up, though.

Now, after a flashback to their briefing, the Twins try the good ol' Batman technique: A bomb.

This fails, 'cause the match doesn't light at first. Then Chizuru sees them, throws a desk through the window at them, and they fall dooooooooooooown. And, of course, they survive the bomb.

Back in class, Nozomu's ass face disturbs me greatly. All their faces disturb me. I have no nose, and I must sneeze!

The Twins are plotting, and as a part of their plot actually move to talk to the group, and want to have lunch with them. As a present, they give Chizz fried newt. Also they poison her drink, but that's not important, because she's going to have Kouta drink it.

Woah. Woah, never mind. I was wrong! This was not predictable for once! And she faints. And in the nurse's room, a terrible secret is confirmed: Chizuru's chest is the source of her power. And yes, I do mean it in that way. Hear that? Pettankos have no power! Pettankos have no power! As she says, "May breasts has vanished!" Clearly her skill with the English language is unmatched.

Only in Kanokon are boobs Serious Business. There are a good few minutes tlaking about boobs and jugs and knockers and all the glories that are the mammaries. And Kouta lectures Chiz on how her boobs aren't what makes her Chizuru!

I find it funny, because there's not much to her besides her breasts.

And now, they depart on an epic quest to... get Chizuru's D-cups back. Yay. For some reason Nozomu is in Groucho Glasses, which amuses me. Great lines here, though, that speak volumes:

Kouta: "Why is everyone in white coats and spectacles?"

Tayura: "Well, this makes us look smarter."

I actually kinda like this show. It's honestly funny.

And now it's time for some breast fondling. Or poking, in this case. "It's an emergency." Wow, these people are really taking this seriously. I will never look at boobs in the same way again.

Meanwhile, Tayura is looking for Jaws. Too bad he didn't bring a bigger boat. He looks pretty badass here. I think those breast-enhancing potatoes will be found in no time.

Meanwhile, Chizuru gives a Title Drop as she's laying on the gym floor, all hot and bothered.

I'd like to make an interesting, related, if not... odd side note here. To increase her bustline, the characters prescribe massaging and arousing her. Now, these techniques actually do work in real life (albeit more complex), though the effects are not nearly as quick as shown in Kanokon. Just letting you know, in case you were... wondering.

The Twins are about enact their evil plot, and I paused just at the right moment to get an ass shot. That was odd. Moving on, then.

Now, this here is getting very sexual. "Let him have the cake" as Nozomu advises. If this were a visual novel...

It is cake. Treat it as cake. Be one with the cake.

"It is delicious cake. You must eat it." Oh, man. That is GREAT. I love you, Nozomu. So, so much. This is hilariously awkward and hilarious.

So, the Twins' plan was foiled by the awkward atmosphere and the arousing nature of Kouta yelling out names of cakes.

Oh and some spirits are summoned. ED time.

Well, that was the best episode yet, I think. Next episode looks... interesting.

'Til then, adios.

edited 30th Nov '10 11:08:00 PM by Five_X

This liveblog amuses me still. Continue.

And I shall! This is really fun.