Corrupt-a-wish.

Granted. you completely waste your life, negelecting family, friends, work, and even basic hygene, until you become the 42nd best yugioh player. . . Then you get beat by a kid with with weird purple hair.

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I wish To become the first Special Forces Solder in space.

Cornelius, but do not waste in useless pity the few moments left in which to escape from the hands of the enemy.

Granted, your consciousness is transported out of your body into a metallic alloy that is used by Special Forces to solder things in space. Unfortunately, said alloy doesn't really have the ability to preserve consciousness well, so, from a more practical perspective, you just straight up died.

I wish everyone forgot all Monty Python jokes and references, but the content of them is still available to watch and they didn't become obscure to the point of being unfindable or anything, so that everyone can truly experience the bizarre, spontaneous randomness of Monty Python again.

Edited by DeepFiemott on Dec 31st 2020 at 6:17:45 AM

Granted. It is subject to severe Hype Backlash, and is promptly dismissed by the public.

I wish 2021 started off with a nuclear war.

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Just as promised, 2021 starts with a ridiculously toxic debate on some obscure forum stranded on the internet. The few users would later call it a "nuclear war."

I wish I could stick to my resolution to write more this year

Granted, you end up writing so much that you have to organize your writings more and you’re too busy to do other stuff.

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I wish for the Chinese government to be overthrown by Bowser

Check out Rogues Gallery Transplant: The Game

Granted. With his new resources, Bowser succesfully conquers all other countries on Earth.

I wish I could telepathically influence people's minds.

Granted. The only thing you can do is influence people to do Fortnite dances out in public.

I wish I had a pack of mint chewing gum that can't hurt or kill me through any means, either direct or indirect.

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Granted. Someone's already chewed all the flavor out of it.

I wish I didn't look suspicious walking into a store with a mask on.

I hope you get tiny bits of eggshell in all your omelettes for the rest of your life!

Granted; you get banned from the store, so you don't have to worry about looking suspicious.

I wish Randy Quaid would make a Career Resurrection in Hollywood and star in movies again.

Granted. All of his new stuff sucks.

I wish I had all my old Pokemon cards again.

GIVE ME YOUR FACE

Granted. The cards are all torn into countless pieces when you get them back.

I wish I could control my hair growth.

Granted! You now control the growth of hair #1540!

I wish I could shapeshift.

Granted; the more you control it, the more hair follicles pop up in your body. And eventually you look like Chewbacca.

Granted; you can only shapeshift into food, living with the danger of always being eaten.

I wish my junior high years weren't such a miserable experience.

I didn't go to college, so I'm good

Edited by MatthewLMayfield on Jan 2nd 2021 at 9:51:59 AM

Granted. Now college becomes even worse for you.

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I wish the Horde and the Alliance would stop fighting, and for good. While this would mean that Player Versus Player would now be screwed up, it would at least be better than endless, meaningless conflict.

Edited by clemont107 on Jan 2nd 2021 at 10:59:49 AM

"Lillie" looks a bit different today. I'm not sure why.

Granted. Blizzard completely shuts down World of Warcraft, so the Horde and the Alliance are no longer fighting.

I wish that being fit, healthy, and attractive was significantly easier, while individual and cultural standards of attractiveness stay the same.

Ukrainian Red Cross

Granted! Now the process of becoming muscled is so easy everyone has ballooned into an immobile bundle of vein-pulsing muscle.

I wish that I instinctively knew how to season recipes.

Granted, you’re terrible at cooking other than seasoning.

I wish on 1492, Columbus didn’t sail the ocean blue.

I've got spurs, that jingle-jangle-jingle!

Granted. He sails the ocean red instead.

The world's water is replaced with blood.

Have fun.

I wish I could know how is touch the sky.◊

Granted; by the time you touch it, you burn up in the atmosphere.

I wish I had pizza in the oven now.

Granted you need to get to the oven very fast otherwise it will burn.. and it doesn’t even have the toppings you want at all

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I wish to sell the souls of Shigaraki and his friends to bring back everyone who had died in My Hero Academia’s most recent arc without anyone coming back wrong

Check out Rogues Gallery Transplant: The Game

Granted. Your considered one of Shigaraki's friends, and have your soul stolen as well, and you alone have your soul subjected to unimaginable torture for eternity. The souls you sold soon escape and kill everybody who was revived.

I wish I had a rapid Healing Factor

Granted. Your injuries heal quickly and effectively, but your PTSD from said injuries don't.

I wish there was a much more lethal strain of COVID-19, so people would actually bother following COVID-19 guidelines.

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Granted uh..... wait I guess all the anti maskers and anti vaccine people die? How is this bad? I can’t see any way to make this bad. this can only result in good things for humanity.

I wish tom leher announces a comeback.

I look to the stars... but that's mostly because there isn't anything else interesting

Granted. He does, but he returns as one of the hosts of the latest incarnation of PBS' NewsHour because some people think he's related to Jim Lehrer.

I wish everything I said and did became universal laws.

I hope you get tiny bits of eggshell in all your omelettes for the rest of your life!

Granted. The first thing you say is a sarcastic "I wanna die", but leading to you suffering a brutal death to your Sarcasm-Blind powers.

I wish I had the Golden Experience stand.

Edited by Awesomekid42 on Jan 4th 2021 at 5:27:57 AM