Putting stuff in SCP-914

^^Output: Shredded plastic and silicon ejected with remarkable force out of the output booth. Dr.—-: Perhaps 914 has a sense of quality beyond the settings?

^Output: What can be described as a fully functioning computer made of brass and iron, with a remarkably complex system of tubes and filaments inside to provide computing. Runs on steam power approximate to the exhaust from a boiling kettle. -Confiscated by Dr. Gears for study.

Input: One collectible Superman statuette. Setting: Very Fine.

edited 6th Jun '10 6:50:42 PM by Colonial1.1

Output: One life-sized marble statue of Superman. Far lighter than its mass would indicate.

Input: One hive killer bees, one preserved black scorpion. Setting: Fine.

edited 6th Jun '10 6:52:37 PM by SullenFrog

Output: 1 x hive of small black scorpions. Said scorpions possess a fatal sting and are highly aggressive.

Input: 1 x copy of David Langford's "Blit"
Setting: Very Fine

Output: A DVD containing a reenactment of Blit. When tape is finished, watchers briefly hallucinate that they are in the book itself.

Input: One straitjacket, and one Class D Personnel.

Setting: Very Fine

Notes: For this experiment, a man with a piece of wood with a spike on the end will be on hand. Man is named James.

Output: [DATA EXPUNGED]; subject disposed of without incident. "James" has suffered servere psychological trauma as a direct result of contact with the subject, and has been admitted to a mental institution in our S_____ H___ facility as a result.

Input: One (1) chainsaw, one (1) 1x1M titanium cube. Setting: coarse.

Output: All the materials that go into a chainsaw, but reinforced with titanium. Immediately sent to Dr. Andronuts for rebuilding and use in any further experiments.

Input: One Stopwatch

Setting: 1:1

Output: An alarm clock stuck on 12:00, blinking

Input: A red thong.

Setting: Very fine.

Output: 1x Red, comfortable overalls.

Input: 1x Model of Manhattan, 5 feet by 5 feet.

Setting: 1:1

edited 6th Jun '10 8:06:34 PM by Reecer6

A model of Chicago, 5 feet by 5 feet.

Input: Cake

Setting: 1:1

edited 6th Jun '10 8:09:17 PM by lockonlockon

Output: boston cream pie.

Input: 200g sugar, 500g sulfur, above boston cream pie. Setting: Fine.

This should be interesting... —Dr. Dawson

edited 6th Jun '10 8:11:33 PM by SullenFrog

Output: 1x horribly odorous boston cream pie. When test subjects were forced to ingest the foul substance, [DATA EXPUNGED]. Emergency dentistry was required.

Input: 1x Krabby Patty

Setting: Coarse

edited 6th Jun '10 8:36:36 PM by AlsoArin

Output: [DATA EXPUNGED]. Ingredients caught fire upon contact with air.

Input: One Darkseid figurine. Setting: Fine.

Output: One Darkseid figurine made of pure pewter.

Input: One Dildo

Setting: Very fine. :3

Output: One Golden Phalanx TM -brand vibrator with three settings: Orgasm, Euphoria, and Bliss. Female and homosexual male personnel demonstrated an intense desire to utilise the vibrator upon seeing it, while men and lesbian-identified women became flushed and uncomfortable.

Input: One (1) plush Pikachu, one (1) live pika. Setting: Very Fine.

edited 6th Jun '10 9:03:27 PM by SullenFrog

Output: One live and very conductive mouse resembling the pokemon Pikachu. Captured and given to the care of Dr. Rights. Designated SCP-914-15.

Input: One box of KINEX. Setting: Very Fine.

Output: One box of very high-quality LEG Os.

Input: Dr. Andronuts' Shiba Inu puppy and Dr. Andronuts' Tabby Cat

Setting: Very Fine

Notes: Upon questioning, Dr. Andronuts mumbled something about "Master Porky" and "Chimeras". Psychological evaluation suggested.

Output: A new animal that upon closer inspection and DNA testing seemed to be a combination of both the Shiba Inu and the Tabby. Subject appears to have greater reflexes and a reinforced skeleton.

Notes: When told of result, Dr. Andronuts was seen to be jumping around shouting 'It works! It works!' Subject is not to be returned to Dr. Andronuts until psychological evaluation is complete.

Input: One(1) statuette of 'Yukari Yakumo' from the Touhou shooter series, one(1) set of clothing similar to make on statuette, one(1) Caucasian human female with out clothing (dead)

Setting: Very Fine

Notes: Many personnel were called in for testing. Personnel were told to capture and detain subject if alive, or terminate if proved to be hostile.

If I'm correct, we may have a problem on our hands. In fact, try to get Dr. Cleft in here, he knows how to deal with these things. -Dr. Stewart

Output: What appears to be a clone of the character, although dead.

Input: One copy of The Orange Box, one miniature Buddha statue, one microwave
Setting: Very fine

Output: One life-size replica of the Heavy Weapons Guy, armed with a replica Portal Gun, with seeming qualities of the Gravity Gun. The statue radiates both a sense of peace, and fatal radiation. Gravportal gun taken by Dr. Freeman for further studying

Input: One copy of Halo 2, one copy of Bioshock 2, one Caucasian male.

Setting: Fine

Output: Subject's skin is now hard and green, and it appears as though he is wearing armored plates. All his facial features have been removed and replaced with metal tubing, and in place of a left arm he has a drill. Subject died within five minutes of exiting the machine.

Input: Five (5) Gillete brand disposable razors, pack of Trident brand mint flavored gum.
Input: Very Fine

Output: Five Trillette brand razors. When used, the user reports feelings of "Minty Freshness" and appears to act cooler

Input: Five Trillette brand razors, One piece of Orbit brand spearmint gum

Setting: Fine

edited 7th Jun '10 9:43:55 AM by Eatdembeanz

Output: Five Trillette brand razors. When used, subjects took on a repellent odour for up to three hours.

Input: [DATA EXPUNGED]
Setting: Very fine.

[Data Expunged]. Cleanup crews were sent in after it died down.

Whoever Authorized this is getting Keter Duty -Dr. Clef

Input: One (1) Tabby tom cat
Setting: Coarse

edited 7th Jun '10 1:58:40 PM by rumetzen

Output: [DATA EXPUNGED].

By Jove, these endeavours are nauseating. —Dr. Dawson.

Input: One (1) copy Final Fantasy XIII, one forklift. Setting: Very Fine.

Output: [DATA EXPUNGED]. Massive Containment breach. Entity still at large. Anti-[REDACTED] teams in pursuit.

Doctor Clef: In a game where the main villains are [REDACTED], why is it a good idea to let them out?! Judas...

Input: One empty Samsonite suitcase. Setting: Fine.

edited 13th Jun '10 9:39:20 PM by Colonial1.1