The noodle incident

You mean four. The one in Brooklyn was more of a yogurt mishap.

Are you sure that was yogurt? I mean, they did use several slow-cookers and a basin to stop it, after all.

That sticky white stuff sure didn't look like yogurt.... Ew.

No, it really is yogurt. Don't ask what flavor it is though...

Pickle flavor. That's what Steve said, just before he drowned in the stuff.

Which Steve though? The Steve from Buffalo who owned that preserves shop or the Steve from Minneapolis with the talking turkey?

Steve was the talking turkey who was also Satan and Buzz Lightyear... somehow.

You don't remember Steve? Zombie Steve? Zombie vampire werewolf Steve? How could you forget Steve?... Oh, wait, it was Alan who drowned in the pickle yogurt. Steve's doing a magic show in Vegas.

I think I remember Steve...? Was he the guy who almost lost his hands punching trees all the time?

No, he was the guy who almost knocked himself unconscious bashing his head into trees repeatedly.

What An Idiot Everyone knows that the trees caused the Great Blue Hill Incident of 1962!

I thought 1962 has a great war going on in the Pacific that's hidden from the public....

That too, the Great Blue Hill Incident was started deliberately to cover the war up though most people don't really believe the story that the tree's became sentient and mobile due to bathbombs

Well, can you blame them? The scientific explanation involves combining Russell's teapot with recombinant DNA. I've doubted it myself, no matter WHAT Ray Bradbury's ghost tries to tell me.

Are you sure that's Bradbury, and not Einstein up to his usual tricks?

Does it matter? I wanna crack the neck of our timeshare guy regardless for recommending either of them at this point.

But, why would he care if his neck was broken? Seriously, his head isn't even attached to his neck anymore.

Because it's disrespectful to the dead. I should know that, I've been spelunking in the Amazon before, and lemme tell you I seen't it!

Spelunking in the Amazon? Pssh..that's nothing. Try spelunking in a Walmart at the start of Black Friday, then we'll talk.

Walmart black Friday... I still remember that walrus in the dark corner rambling on about errand boys and debt collecting... the horror, the horror...

The walrus? He was in that IKEA. You know, that perfectly, totally normal one.

That explains why i never saw the Walrus, i went in the one built on an Indian Burial Ground.

Edited by Jaxfirebus on Oct 24th 2018 at 7:42:08 AM

That was a pretty cheap Indian Burial Ground, I preferred the one that we visited back when Barney turned earth into Hell.

Too bad his Hell was run by meerkats. At least it got better when the gorillas came in.

Oof, don't get me started on animal-run afterlives. Did you hear what happened in that cat-run purgatory? ... Ha, purrgatory.