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Ridin' the Hyperlinks (a text adventure game)

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KeironCioran smol French fry from 14th Century France Relationship Status: Mu
smol French fry
Sep 20th 2019 at 9:11:46 AM

> Rob some tickets from somebody.

Local French boi sends an army of rats to your house
WilliamRadarStorm Clockwise from top left: Matt, Chris, Tom, Gary. from Lancaster, ca. 1878.
Clockwise from top left: Matt, Chris, Tom, Gary.
Sep 20th 2019 at 11:37:43 AM

>Come up with a Zany Scheme to use the tickets as a rope to the arcade's vents.

They're back!
VXXXN I am disgusted. from the philippines Relationship Status: Longing for my OTP
I am disgusted.
Sep 20th 2019 at 1:48:23 PM

> find the gay clown

one way to react to cursed images
KeironCioran smol French fry from 14th Century France Relationship Status: Mu
smol French fry
Sep 20th 2019 at 3:30:30 PM

> Steal the CD player to play the Mix CD

Edited by KeironCioran on Sep 20th 2019 at 3:31:43 AM

Local French boi sends an army of rats to your house
AutisticAlivia Happy 15th Anniversary! from Everywhere on TV Tropes Relationship Status: Don't hug me; I'm scared
Happy 15th Anniversary!
Sep 20th 2019 at 3:31:40 PM

> Think about what to do

Exactly 15 years ago, one of the greatest TV shows in history was released...
Tre Mr. Chirp Chirp from the front to the back, that's where I was at Relationship Status: Singularity
Mr. Chirp Chirp
Sep 20th 2019 at 4:39:21 PM

==>

Right as you land outside of Convergence, you spot another guest in the arcade. With a smile, they wave to you, probably somewhat weirded out by the fact that a whole-ass person... robot... thing just came out of a TV screen.

You, of course, wave back. Manners.


> Ask someone what game is the best for getting tickets.

You aimlessly walk around a little more, and give MaRTINa and Fitz a wave as you pass by them watching the projectors. It looks like somebody's livestreaming a game about giant robots.

One of the guys at the concession stand notices you dawdling, and goes, "hey, kid, are you lost or somethin'?"

You assure him that you're okay — or try to, anyway — and ask what the best way to get credits for the prize counter is.

"Try the one with the cyborg on the cabinet," he says, weakly pointing in the vague direction of the shooting galleries.


> Come up with a Zany Scheme to use the tickets as a rope to the arcade's vents.

It'd be a bit hard to do that with virtual currency, no? Even if you could somehow get the physical tickets to show up, it'd be rather cumbersome.

You make your way toward the light gun games. Not too far away, you hear a certain bear madly laughing with another ursine friend, and without drawing attention to yourself, you try to listen in.

"Yeah, I injected some code into this stupid soldier game to generate credits for us. It's just a tiny bit of JavaScript, but it's enough to fool it, and the Moderation's none the wiser. Tools!"

Talk about the pot calling the kettle black. You squint in a bit, and as you're thinking about how sweet it would be to show that dingus what for, the space around you tints into an odd shade of blue...


> Rob some tickets from Carlisle

Your vision zooms into Carlisle, and you can see not only his profile card, but all of the bogus transactions he's made over the day. He came in with 150 credits and was sitting pretty on 345,000. You're no expert in the space, but it'd take nothing short of a miracle to do something like that.

There's additional options alongside the card as well. "View History," "Watchlist" ...and a funky little button that says "Transfer Funds." Shady? Maybe. But it's not like that hypocrite was gonna do anything good with 'em.

You input a request for 344,850 credits by focusing your sight on the particular digits, and spoof the name on it to read "FG Mods" rather than "Felix S. Verbose." You blink once. Everything's back to its regular shade, and you check your own card. 345,250 C.

Hot damn.


> Find an Anti-Necromancer

You pass by the Anti-Necromancy sign again, and catch one fellow stepping out of the curtain beneath. He's got a shirt on that says "ALL MY BEACHES LOVE ME," a pair of thick glasses... and a hi-top fade.

You do a double take, and he turns around as he sees you step forward. He laughs a little as he notices.

"You're one smart cookie, aren't you? Figuring out about your powers early. I'm impressed."

Wait, what? You raise a finger to speak, but before you can ask him what the hell that means, he goes, "Shhhhh. Don't ruin the surprise," and smiles before walking off.

A beat passes, and you head back off toward the prize counter.


> Steal the CD player to play the Mix CD

Does it count as stealing if you buy something with twice-ill-gotten cash? Yes.

Whatever, it's a bit of a wash anyway. You present your card to the fellow at the counter.

"Felix, huh?"

You nod. "Knew a guy named Felix Bianco once. Real nice fellow. Hunts ghosts for a livin'. Ain't that a funny coincidence?"

Sure. "Have a good one, kid."

You got the CD Player! -1000 C.

Edited by Tre on Sep 21st 2019 at 9:28:33 AM

odds and ends from me to you
VXXXN I am disgusted. from the philippines Relationship Status: Longing for my OTP
I am disgusted.
Sep 20th 2019 at 7:48:14 PM

> then beat the cd with a potted plant

one way to react to cursed images
KeironCioran smol French fry from 14th Century France Relationship Status: Mu
smol French fry
Sep 20th 2019 at 7:49:38 PM

> repair the CD after your rage.

Local French boi sends an army of rats to your house
WilliamRadarStorm Clockwise from top left: Matt, Chris, Tom, Gary. from Lancaster, ca. 1878.
Clockwise from top left: Matt, Chris, Tom, Gary.
Sep 20th 2019 at 7:51:19 PM

>And the CD player too, for that matter.

They're back!
VXXXN I am disgusted. from the philippines Relationship Status: Longing for my OTP
I am disgusted.
Sep 20th 2019 at 7:53:50 PM

> go to the nearest lesbian couple and ask them plot-relevant questions

one way to react to cursed images
KeironCioran smol French fry from 14th Century France Relationship Status: Mu
smol French fry
Sep 20th 2019 at 7:58:17 PM

> ask said lesbian couple if bears exist.

Local French boi sends an army of rats to your house
TalesofUnder Art by Taco Badger from The Tropers’s Apartment Relationship Status: THIS CONCEPT OF 'WUV' CONFUSES AND INFURIATES US!
Art by Taco Badger
Sep 20th 2019 at 8:18:35 PM

>Go to the arcade cabinet labelled “GAME OVER: PRESS R TO TRY AGAIN”.

My father always told me: “Always have a bazooka, son.” I was more commited to that in season 1.
WilliamRadarStorm Clockwise from top left: Matt, Chris, Tom, Gary. from Lancaster, ca. 1878.
Clockwise from top left: Matt, Chris, Tom, Gary.
Sep 20th 2019 at 8:22:13 PM

>Ask the arcade cabinet plot-relevant questions.

They're back!
Tre Mr. Chirp Chirp from the front to the back, that's where I was at Relationship Status: Singularity
Mr. Chirp Chirp
Sep 21st 2019 at 6:25:36 AM

> Play the CD

The case ends up having not one, but two copies of the mix in the case. They have the same songs, though one has green writing on the disc, and the other is all in red.

It seems to be a bunch of electronic jams. You dig it.


> then beat the cd with a potted plant

There aren't any potted plants nearby to speak of, and you remember the bespectacled fellow's sage advice: Don't be stupid.


> Go to the arcade cabinet labelled “GAME OVER: PRESS R TO TRY AGAIN”.

You stop at another game — a platformer, from the looks of it. There's a boy with a cape on the cabinet.


> Ask the arcade cabinet plot-relevant questions.

You're suddenly compelled to use the cabinet as your own personal oracle.

"What am I?"

"ONE SMART COOKIE," the text on its screen says.

"Are there other folks like me?"

"AIN'T NO ONE LIKE YOU 'CEPT YOU."

"Are digital beings immortal?"

"ANYTHING CAN BE DELETED."

"Including me?"

"YOU'RE A THING, AREN'T YOU?"

Yeesh.


> Press the R button

You hover your hand over the cabinet's "R" button, but take it back just before depressing it. This thing's got a bad energy about it.

You try not to think about it as you head off.


> go to the nearest lesbian couple and ask them plot-relevant questions

You spot a pair of ladies at one of the kart racing games. One of them, wearing a wide-brimmed hat, is in the middle of her third lap out of five, while the other, with long purple hair, watched from nearby.

"If you're tryin' to race, I got this one to finish before I can show ya what for," the one in the hat says.

"Oh, do excuse her eager nature," the purple-haired one adds. "We don't visit often, so she gets invested quite easily."

You introduce yourself, and ask if they knew anyone who had their eyes go blue before, the way yours seemed to. "Heavens, no! I do recommend you get that checked, dear."

"Well, there was that one girl we met near the Old Folks' Home. Looked kinda boxy like you, too, but she was a real piece of work. Got a little too trigger-happy with a cannon, to be honest."

You ask if they remembered anything else about her. "Oh, yes, she did have a lot to say about falling out of the sky. I do hope she hadn't bumped her head on the way down."

Seems she wasn't the only one.


> ask said lesbian couple if bears exist.

"Isn't there one hootin'-n'-hollerin' over there?" the hat girl says. She points across the game floor, and out of the corner of your eye you notice Carlisle sweating intensely as he keeps looking away from his card and back again.

"I... don't think that's what our guest meant, darling."

It wasn't, but there's still something oddly satisfying about it.

Edited by Tre on Sep 21st 2019 at 9:27:58 AM

odds and ends from me to you
TroperNo9001 2nd placeholder for human!6k1 from Ichi's Underground Bunker Relationship Status: Love blinded me (with science!)
2nd placeholder for human!6k1
Sep 21st 2019 at 6:29:30 AM

> Look for that girl at Old Folk's Home.

"Season 66 has begun, and Valecor's down for the count! His fragment's still lurking in the shadows, though..."
Afterwards back from the dead from Stairway to the Sky Relationship Status: He makes me feel like I have a heart
back from the dead
Sep 21st 2019 at 6:39:33 AM

>flirt with carlisle

the cake is an alternative fact
VXXXN I am disgusted. from the philippines Relationship Status: Longing for my OTP
I am disgusted.
Sep 21st 2019 at 12:10:07 PM

> then ask carlisle philosophical questions

one way to react to cursed images
KeironCioran smol French fry from 14th Century France Relationship Status: Mu
smol French fry
Sep 21st 2019 at 12:14:57 PM

> let Carlisle listen to the Mix CD.

Local French boi sends an army of rats to your house
TabbyGirl4 Lil' Paint Witch from The Nowhere Islands Relationship Status: watch?v=dQw4w9WgXcQ
Lil' Paint Witch
Sep 21st 2019 at 12:37:12 PM

>Find any people who visit the Old Folk's Home regularly.

Edited by TabbyGirl4 on Sep 21st 2019 at 12:37:21 PM

"I'm Mary Poppins, Y'all!" -Yondu,2017
Tre Mr. Chirp Chirp from the front to the back, that's where I was at Relationship Status: Singularity
Mr. Chirp Chirp
Sep 22nd 2019 at 5:31:20 PM

> flirt with carlisle

You get a dumb idea and let the couple go about their business, making your way back toward the shooting galleries. The nerdy bear (like, in the literal sense, just to be clear) is still dumbfounded at how he got figured out, when you get his attention by tapping him on the shoulder.

"Hey, are you Batman?" you ask, equally cheeky and awkward as hell. "Because I'd totally let you be my Dark Knight."

Carlisle blinks for a moment, and then says, "Aren't you that weirdo that was cheesing the Skee-Ball machine?"

"The past is in the past, my friend," you say. "But I think the two of us just might have a future."

"You look like a ripoff of a Minecraft creeper." He tilts his nose up. "I bet you hiss like one, too."

There's something distinctly rude about that remark. You almost regret committing to this bit, but it seems like you're stuck with it now.


> then ask carlisle philosophical questions

"If a creeper explodes in the woods without a player present on the server, does it make a hiss?"

Your attempt at being profound is met with an annoyed silence. Why even bother being nice to this guy, anyway? It's not like you owe him anyth— oh. Right.


> Let Carlisle listen to the Mix CD.

You present him with one of the two copies of Newness 5. You figure there's not much use in keeping both, so you give him the one in red, and keep the green one for yourself. Carlisle's still somewhat apprehensive, but he's intrigued, and you let him take a listen to one of the tunes:

I fell down to earth
From a hundred miles away, and somehow
I still make it work
But it's overrated and somehow played out

"Hmm. Typically I'm not a fan of this sing-rap nonsense, but there's something endearing about this." You mention that most of the rest of the mix is pretty electronic-heavy, and he says he'll consider taking a full listen sometime, adding the disc to his own inventory.

What he doesn't know won't hurt him, you guess.


> Find any people who visit the Old Folk's Home regularly.

"You wouldn't happen to know anyone familiar with the Old Folks' Home, would you?" you ask him. "I heard that another person like me might be around there."

"You should try to find Sofi," he says. "There's hardly a corner of this town she doesn't know like the back of her hand."

You remember that Fitz mentioned her while talking to you about the hyperlinks, and head back over to him at the projector televisions, asking if he could introduce you to her.

"Well, sure," Fitz says. "She's a hard one to keep track of, though. Hangs out all over the place, but I bet we could find her in the Yacks. I know a shortcut, too," he says, motioning over to a glowing seam in the wall next to the concession stand."

You ask to see if MaRTINa would be interested in coming along, but Fitz says, "She wanted to get a couple more rounds of Whatcha Listenin' To in before signing off for a while, but we exchanged tags, so she can catch up later."

Fitz places a palm on the seam, and you do the same. With a flash of white, you both appear in a lounge with purple walls and oddly 50's styled architecture, and from a speaker in the middle of the curvy table next to its couch, you hear a voice say, "The fact that movies on TV have a bunch of commercials peppered in between is a blessing in disguise, innit?"

Through a door on the other side of the room, you both step out onto the sidewalk of a city street. The storefronts are labeled with names like "Happiness," "The Weird Dream Emporium," "Item Get!" and "Songs in Your Head."

"Welcome to the Yack Fest!" Fitz says.

Edited by Tre on Sep 22nd 2019 at 8:33:18 AM

odds and ends from me to you
WilliamRadarStorm Clockwise from top left: Matt, Chris, Tom, Gary. from Lancaster, ca. 1878.
Clockwise from top left: Matt, Chris, Tom, Gary.
Sep 22nd 2019 at 6:06:48 PM

>Check the Song of the Day. And any Memorial ones if there are any.

They're back!

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