The Adventures of [Insert Name Here] (Redux)

[Insert Name Here]

The Adventures of [Steph] began one sunny day...

Edited by sabrina_diamond on Jun 12th 2019 at 8:40:50 PM

I'm interested in this game, but I don't have any clue on how to play. Honestly, the OP should have at least said something about how to play for those who might not know how to. So.... Where's Da Rules?

Oh, right. I dunno if these kinda games are still common on these forums, but basically, this is like one of those old choose your own adventure games. You all control one singular character throughout an adventure by imputing commands that are then carried out through narrative storytelling.

Hello, Steph. Welcome to the world. Please choose a Race:

• Human
• Elf
• Dwarf
• Other
• Mixed race (please specify)

> Human.

Thank you, Steph the Human. Do not worry, your adventure will begin shortly. But before then, please answer one last question:

Though it is only today that you have been given a name, how long has it been since you were given life?

Edited by Afterwards on Jun 12th 2019 at 4:43:17 AM

4 minutes

Thank you. Your adventure will now begin. We sincerely hope you will enjoy it.

Your name is Steph, you are a human, and you have been alive for four minutes, and frankly, you are incredibly irritated.

One second you had a nice, warm, soft, and comfortable life in the womb, and the next thing you know you're being shoved down this infernal tube into the great dark unknown. It's literally freezing out here and you have no fucking idea what's going on. Can you even register what your eyes are seeing right now? Do you know what light is?

You sense a pair of soft arms holding you tight, cradling you back and forth, whispering and cooing some nonsense at you. You haven't developed enough to learn your name yet, or any English words really, but it still manages to soothe you, if just for a moment.

You are Steph the Human and you were just thrust into a cold, uncaring world against your will. What do you do?

> Cry, because that's what newborns do.

>Awaken your telekinetic powers and snap the neck of the person holding you with the Force

>Fast forward 3d6 years

>Awaken your telekinetic powers and snap the neck of the person holding you with the Force

What? What are you talking about? You are a literal newborn child. You have idea what these words mean.

Besides, you instantly recognize this person as your mother, whom you love and cherish with all of your teeny tiny heart. Up until now, she was your entire world, so it's safe to say you won't be snapping her neck any time soon.

All that said, this game would be incredibly inane if we spent the entire time detailing the life of newborn Steph, so if you don't mind, we're going to speed things up a bit. Do not worry, this will only be temporary, and we can stop whenever you'd like.

> Cry, because that's what newborns do.

You cry. You cry as your mother continues to soothe you, holding her up to her chest for hours upon hours. You cry as, eventually, the nurse picks you up and washes you off, before laying you down to rest. You cry as, eventually, you tire yourself out and drift off to sleep.

The next couple days are a blur. You don't really remember much of what happens, besides feeling a snip in a very uncomfortable area. Your surroundings seem to change very often. You remember being in some sort of moving vehicle, before arriving at what you would soon come to know as your home. You cry a lot, for several nights. You are crying still, even.

You are now four days old, it is four in the morning, and you are incredibly hungry. You miss the simple times when food would simply enter your body on its own through your belly button, when you were content.

What do you do?

dwihsifh sorry i missed that last post. it shall be done in the next one

>Scream in anger and shake your fist at the air due to the foodless injustice you've been put through

>yeah, do that

> Cry for your bottle.

>Fast forward 3d6 years

Ah yes, a very good choice. Many great adventurers first begin their journeys at the age of [3d6]. We shall adjust our coordinates accordingly.

However, please forgive us if we continue to go a little slowly at first. Infancy and childhood are the most important developmental years in the human life cycle, and to gloss over them too quickly could have damaging mental and spiritual consequences. Rest assured however, you will reach the age of [3d6] soon enough.

>Scream in anger and shake your fist at the air due to the foodless injustice you've been put through

You scream and shake your fist in the air, clamoring for justice in the only way you know how. Soon enough, your mother is rushing over to you, quickly bringing you to her breast. At last, sweet nutrients! You drink until you are satisfied, before drifting off to sleep once again.

You continue to spend your days more or less like this. You didn't like it at first, but soon enough, you learn to come to terms with your new world, and your new home. Days turn into weeks, and the weeks add up until you are one month old. An important milestone!

Not much has changed for you though. You can form coherent thoughts now, sort of. You know who your mother and father are, and how to get their attention (it's by crying). You can differentiate between shapes. You know what light is. You can recognize words, though you still don't understand them. You can utilize your tiny baby hands and opposable baby thumbs.

It is on one night when you are sleeping soundly, which is unusual for you, that you find yourself in a dream.

What are you dreaming about?

>Being an undercover homicide detective in the streets of a post-apocalyptic Tokyo

>Being an undercover homicide detective in the streets of a post-apocalyptic Tokyo

Somehow you, a literal month old baby, are able to dream a dream as complex as that.

You are Steph the human, and you are going undercover at the clown convention in Shibuya, Tokyo. You are investigating the murder of the late Ben Dover, a big name in the post-apocalyptic clown movement, who was brutally slaughtered in his own hotel room. Of course, it could always have been the zombies, but certain evidence has led you to believe otherwise, and you have only four days to figure it out.

What do you do?

>Look at evidence

>See if you can find a tipoff to a lead at the convention

> Examine the body.

Talk to Ben's ghost

>Look at evidence

You bring out the file for your case and take out a single photograph, to look over the evidence once more. The very image sends chills down your spine. Not because the man is completely eviscerated, but because of the writing on the wall. The lettering is very shaky, but you can make out the message:

HONK :o)

written in purple blood. This is why it couldn't have been zombies: Ben's blood isn't purple, and you've yet to see a zombie with purple blood. Also, zombies don't have the brain capacity to spell words.

> Examine the body.

The body is back at HQ being autopsied, but from what you can see in the photos.... Well, you can only hope he died quickly.

>Talk to Ben's ghost

Oh, duh! You totally forgot you can speak with the dead. That would have saved you so much trouble if you had remembered that before heading out to the convention. Well, old Ben's soul is probably too far gone now to call on from here. Next time, though.

>See if you can find a tipoff to a lead at the convention

Right. You were supposed to meet your informant at his room, like, four minutes ago. You head out of your room and into the hallway, only to be immediately confronted by a hideous clown.

"Um, excuse me," the clown says. This one appears to be a kid, around [3d6] years old. Any defining features are hidden under their rainbow afro, red clown nose, and four layers of clown makeup.

The clown holds up an old timey telephone, the kind you need to turn the dials on to get to the numbers. It isn't plugged in to anything, but even so it starts ringing incessantly.

"It's for you," the clown says.

Slowly, as if compelled to do so by an outside force, you pick up the phone and bring it to your ear. You hear a voice that sounds neither male nor female, neither young nor old, come in through the speaker:

"It's time to wake up."

>Wake up.

You suddenly remember you are a one month old baby and the things you just saw and heard are extremely terrifying to you. You scream and cry with all your might, until your mother comes rushing over to you, deep bags under her eyes as she cradles you softly back to sleep.

The weeks continue passing and soon enough, you forget about the dream entirely, seeing as you are a baby and you didn't really understand any of it anyways. Soon enough, you are four months old, enough to drink from bottles and eat baby food. The new flavors really are amazing, it's like a whole new world has been opened up to you. Your mother is currently holding a spoonful of one such concoction, making airplane noises as she slowly brings it up to your mouth.

What do you do?

Edited by Afterwards on Jun 12th 2019 at 7:11:33 AM

> Grab the spoon and fling the food back at her.