Hunger Games Simulation: Beyond the Possibilities

I love how Yen'fay was basically a force to be reckoned with last season, an unstoppable force of tyranny that effortlessly won and seized the most kills... and yet here he immediately dies because Kafka wanted to speedrun his murder.

Also, why do I get the feeling that Kobo and Robcina are immediately developing a rivalry? XD

They better not argue over Nagini's mixtape.

Same energy as Freddy becoming an MM, only to suffer an unceremonious Bloodbath death right off the bat.

Man the Auditor really was like:

"Bitch you weren't in my season at all, get the fuck out. Kill yourself, now."

speedrunning killing yen'fay is the closest to speedrunning fire emblem i will ever get

And we're back, folks! Sorry about the delay, but at least these updates aren't being made in real time!

THE STORY SO FAR...

• Kafka proved to be a valuable player, so much so that Pig Cop recruited them as an ally.
• Harry Potter was revealed to be a Devil supporter in multiple timelines.
• The tributes played a fun game to determine who would get gunned down by Peacekeepers.

Will the madness continue? Let's find out together!

Quidditch, Third Year - Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban

NIGHT 1

• FIRST HALF
  • Fubuki shares cookies with the remaining tributes. Hey! Why don’t I get any?
  • Abomination and Harry have an arm-wrestling duel. Unfortunately, Harry’s newfound demonic powers don’t give him an edge against someone with Abomination’s strength, and the gamma-ray empowered superhuman wins with ease.
  • Bale grabs a Smash Ball, and with its power, goes on a jetpack rampage, gunning down Heimdall, Gaismagorm, and Maho with peanuts. Would have thought his Final Smash would be a Critical Hit or something, but that works too, I guess.
  • Nagini is revealed to have been feeding Xanthus’s horses to a UFO. Wait, there was a UFO? Wait, Xanthus had horses? Wait, the snake has that kind of authority?
  • Hey, remember how I mentioned the existence of an alternate timeline earlier? Well, in that timeline, Minako ran for president of Panem. The parallels are getting a bit disturbing…
  • At the drop of midnight, The Devil ventures through a mysterious portal and never returns. Is this truly a loss when he already has one of his supporters still in the Arena? We’ll just have to wait and see.
  • Kafka is so utterly horrified by the sight of Fang, that he burns his eyes out with acid. Ouch. I would question how he could possibly be that creeped out by Fang, of all things, but I’ve seen dumber.
  • Jack… gets thicc? Or maybe he just turns into a sphere.
  • Jolee is so disgusted by Kobo’s ego that he starts avoiding her. Yes, how dare she get farted on and then buy a mixtape.
• SECOND HALF
  • The Old Sim tries to kill more beings than it has killed in every season up to this point. Given how many times some variant of “everything” has taken part in these Games before, I don’t know if 100 billion birds is enough.
  • Luckily for Plucky, he was exempt from the old sim’s bird purge. Unluckily for Plucky, he did something stupid just because it seemed like a good idea. Splat is not impressed.
  • Argo has difficulty getting sleep, and believes he has amnesia.
  • Huh? Oh crap THE MOON’S ABOUT TO KILL US AL- Oh. False alarm! The world is safe, thanks to Mr. Wolf!
  • Robin and Lucina use an overly complicated recipe while cooking burgers. Bob Burger can’t stand for the excess, and comes in to show how pros do things more easily.
  • The Auditor uses his magic to not only save Weezer from being defeated by Vinnie, but does one better and turns them into giants! How will the other tributes deal with this? (Very easily. Everyone’s probably gonna forget about this turn of events by the next time Weezer appears.)
  • Bluethorn tries to pirate a copy of Duke Nukem 3D, but his progress through the game is halted by the anti-piracy message. I’m sure someone’s gonna be mad about that.
  • The concept of ducks makes a show of power by threatening to turn chickens into dinner.
  • Blitzo receives some help from a future version of himself. If he still exists in the future, I guess that means he canonically wins! Saves me the trouble of judging the rest of these events! Goodnight, everyone see you next…

• DAY 2
  • …Day. Bah. Well, The Auditor turns out to be better at screaming than the Harry Potter characters (I call BS, have you seen the ending of Prisoner of Azkaban? 'Tis hilarious.) and the two of them are beaten with sticks as punishment.
  • Abomination tells a funny story of how Vinnie thought her burger (perhaps one of the ones Bob Burger made with Robin and Lucina earlier?) got stolen by aliens. It will only dawn on Vinnie later that the fact he knows about this story probably means that he stole it.
  • Bale, celebrating becoming the kill leader requests a meal from Minako. Possibly containing peanuts, just as a sort of flex.
  • Splat challenges God armed with nothing but... bottles. God is unimpressed and strikes the blob down. I'm sure it seemed like a good idea at the time.
  • Ha ha! I didn’t forget! Anyway, Bob Burger single-handedly finishes off the now giant four-man band by sending shadow copies of himself after them. They fall quickly soon after.
  • More eye trauma occurs, as Fubuki tries to eat a candy stick going through a lemon, but jabs his eyes out instead. What is with everyone lately?
  • Pig Cop builds an underground base.
  • Bluethorn is shocked to meet the tribute that killed Yooka and Laylee back in Season 258. Meanwhile, the Old Sim laughs in his face about it.
  • Ears are not useful to abstract concepts.
  • Argo demands more lemon juice. Kobo is disgusted at the thought that someone could actually want more of that stuff. Could you blame her? Lemonade is only drinkable because of how much it’s been watered down, after all!
  • Kafka tries to meet Xanthus before the latter’s guitar show but ends up onstage instead. They must now sing about… being a spy? Don’t know when that was established…
  • Plucky’s gotta work to be a great toon if he wants to be a big shot like Daffy.
  • Mr. Wolf refuses to help Blitzo and tells him to solve problems on his own. Maybe that's where he got the inspiration to go back in time to help himself.
  • Jolee learns that his smartphone is so hard, that it makes for a better weapon than a lightsaber. Who knew?
  • Jack was an evil schemer the whole time, and Robin and Lucina have been stopping his schemes and helping people. By cooking burgers. Alright, sure...
  • With his buddy Heimdall gone, Fang is left all alone, with no one to hug him but himself. Aw, poor guy.

THE

FALLEN

Remaining Tributes: 24

That's another day's worth of chaos! Next update should come out faster than the last one, so stay tuned!

Noice, one of my events made it in (it's Nagini feeding horses to an UFO one)

Okay, refresh my memory: was there a time when Harry and Nagini screamed at each other?

Now I know how Psyche must've felt when Kylo killed Changbin with an exploding peanut gun bombardment.

Edited by IchigoMontoya on Feb 8th 2023 at 12:27:42 PM

"A Sonic character! And if there's a Sonic character here... that means..." (gasp) "SONIC FANS!!!" (screams in absolute terror)

   YOU GET A PEANUT! AND YOU GET A PEANUT! YOU TOO!   

Yeesh, Harry and Nagini both being beaten by sticks for losing a screaming contest... I guess the Auditor didn't like the Parseltongue?

And Kobo is pretty much a little prankster at this point XD

Poor Fang.🥺

More blood than the average mosquito, it's the Hunger Games! This is update three, let's see what our vict-tributes are up to tonight!

• Battle Music: Thy Farts Consumed - The Angry Video Game Nerd Adventures
• NIGHT 2
  • Ah, yes, guys. Go right ahead and annoy Snow. Because it worked out so well for the last tribute that tried it.
  • Jack tries to finish off his enemies Robin and Lucina with a projectile durian, but they came prepared with protective helmets.
  • Alert! We have a hostage situation! ThatIdiotMan has been taken hostage by the Old Sim! What does it have to gain, given that the only tribute nominated by that player is down already? I dunno. Maybe it just wants the other tributes to surrender. Doubt it’s gonna happen though. I think IdiotMan’s screwed.
  • Fang builds a time machine out of a disassembled microwave. Unfortunately, Blitzo steals it and uses it to go help his past self before returning.
  • Abomination and Bale stumble into an alien nest and have all their lifeforce drained. This means that the kill count to beat is a very stable 3, now.
  • Oh no! After a strong start, Kafka’s run is brought to an end by The Auditor! Guess those tributes really did take all their power earlier.
  • Kobo increases her reload speed by drinking a potion.
  • Pig Cop, now without an ally, decides to commission a painting from Bluethorn. Unfortunately, the tropers are proving to be very snobby artists this season, and Blue denies the request.
  • Blitzo gets bitten by Nagini, but Minako saves his life by giving him proper medical care.
  • The tributes were all apparently trapped in a dream where they were doomed to celebrate Bob Burger’s birthday forever. Thankfully, Xanthus frees everyone.
  • Mr. Wolf has found a secret lost episode of Beyond the Possibilities! Unfortunately, the whole episode turns out to just be unused walking animations for Vinnie. Needless to say, he’s not too happy.
  • Plucky captures Harry and tries to take his place but gives himself away after he drinks Harry’s least favorite drink. One would think that the abstract concept of ducks would be able to deduce one of their own kind just by looking, but I suppose not.
  • Jolee strengthens the power of his phone by combining it with one of his other skills, creating an even more powerful weapon.
  • Fubuki logs in to TV Tropes and clicks the Random Trope button, gaining a new skill in the process. His new skill? Torture Cellar. Well. Watch out for him, everyone…

• DAY 3
  • Alright, turn the camera off! There are children watching here!
  • [BUY SOME APPLES]
  • …Thanks for that, Harry.
  • Argo is placed under witness protection, having gained some information regarding the assassination of President Coin earlier. Unfortunately, Kobo tricks him into leaving his house, and his bodyguards freak out and attempt to force him back inside, but accidentally kill him. Fubuki’s totally gonna get away with it….
  • Jack spends so much time worrying about how to deal with Robin and Lucina that he completely neglects the possibility of the other tributes coming after him. This bites him when several tributes pool together DNA samples to make a clone of all of them, which subsequently kills him.
  • Everything Jolee ever knew turns out to be a lie.
  • Really, you two? How are you so bad at this? Honestly I don’t know how- Hey! What are you…
  •    Hi, there, it’s me, Blitzo! (The o is silent). Are you ready to watch as the rest of these piece of shit tributes get sent to hell one by one? Well let’s…   
  • [BUY SOME APPLES]
  • …Sorry about that, everyone. Blitzo has been dealt with. The abstract concept of ducks helped out a lot. Anyway, where were we?
  • Minako tries to scare Bob Burger, but by virtue of being a knockoff Kirby, he already knows all about surprisingly scary things, and is unaffected.
  • The Auditor tells a complete and total lie, as he already killed Kafka just last night. Today, he moves on to Kafka’s partner and kills Pig Cop.
  • Bluethorn makes the mistake of trying to gamble against Fubuki. As punishment for losing, his soul is turned into a casino token, presumably doomed to collect dust in Fubuki’s new torture cellar. With that, all of the nominators have been eliminated all at once.
  • Now to keep the bloodshed going, let’s unleash some Muttations into the Arena and see how the tributes react! Oop, looks like they got one already!

THE FALLEN Abomination, VengefulBale, DubhKafkaesque, ArgoTheBlank, Jack Kilborn, Blitzo, Pig Cop, Bluethorn, Vinnie Sayre

Tributes Remaining: 15

Less than half of the tributes remain now. What will the survivors do next? Stay tuned and find out!

Edited by JankyKong on Feb 8th 2023 at 9:22:27 AM

Uh, yeah, considering how lucky Robin and Lucina are in this game in general, good luck killing them. They're pretty much unstoppable at this point.

Unless of course they suddenly die in the next update.

And Kobo's still tricking people lol

and i am erased from existence, f for me

Edited by DubhKafkaesque on Feb 8th 2023 at 2:20:26 PM

So much for that triple kill huh

What did you expect, Plucky? Pumpkin Juice?

xanthus pls

Also on god why must the fang sffuffer

Auditor you better steal that MM spot from Bale

Things are heating up quite a bit. What shall our lovely tributes do today?

Duck Vader – Tiny Toon Adventures: Buster Busts Loose!

• NIGHT 3
  • More stinky events, courtesy of Jolee.
  • Fang’s time machine is still in play, it seems. The old sim and Bob Burger plan to use it to kill the weasel, but are unable to change the past, return to the present unsuccessful.
  • Fubuki gets a taste of his own medicine when he gets locked in his own torture cellar by the concept of ducks. Said concept proceeds to beat him to death with his own eyes. What, is this just the Hunger Games Eye Trauma Season?
  • Oh, I’m sure the rest of the tributes are going to just love being mocked over the speaker. Apparently “Bully President Snow” is another theme here. Naturally, I approve.
  • Plucky establishes himself as the true villain as he not only wants the world’s savior Mr. Wolf dead, but he is too cowardly to do it himself and tries to pawn the job off to Kobo. Kobo chooses to save Mr. Wolf instead, and the two flee.
  • Xanthus hits the Auditor in the mouth with a pipe that makes him… cool? What the heck is “pog”?
  • I have no idea what to make of Robin and Lucina here. They seem to keep alternating between actually being smart and being completely nonsensical.

• DAY 4
  • Plucky goes for another kill! This time, he tries to strangle Xanthus, but Xanthus pushes his hand into Plucky’s face, and ultimately, the two hit a stalemate.
  • The other tributes are pretty angry with Minako for her dramatic fanfic reading yesterday, so Mr. Wolf, Jolee, and Kobo all team up to teach her a lesson. But wait, what’s this? The Auditor decides to protect Minako, and kills the trio instead! Your new kill leader, everyone!
  • While all this murder is going on, Satan worshipper Harry is just… being kind of boring. The Devil would not approve.
  • Robin and Lucina seem to be aware that the Old Sim is bad news and try to make this clear to Nagini. Either that, or they were actually thinking of wearing it on their heads. You never know with these two.
  • One would think that an abstract concept would swim with the animal it relates to, but y’know, duck, dolphin, they both start with a ‘D’, so they’re the same thing.
  • Bob learns a new language. I was under the impression that everyone learned things through neural network, so I’m not sure what makes him so special here.
  • Fang gets lost in a seemingly endless hall of mirrors. It’s a very real possibility that his reflection is actively trolling him.

THE FALLEN Shirou Fubuki, Mr. Wolf, Jolee Bindo, Kobo Kanaeru

Tributes Remaining: 11

This season’s just flying by, isn’t it? Guess that’s what happens when there aren’t as many tributes. Well, there’s not a whole lot left, but next time is the Feast! That ought to spice things up a bit!

True madness.

You're speaking in Parseltongue again, Harry... Also, I think he thought of Shell Cottage as he was collecting seashells. Oh wait... that was Dobby's final resting place, wasn't it?

Harry and Nagini talking to each other? ...what about?

RIP Kobo, though.

Fubuki already lost his eyes earlier in the season, how did the concept of ducks manage to rip them out again?