Fix a wish!

Granted, realises that modern day Konami isn't that bad.

I wish C K2s Dharmic rulers had even bigger Grandmaster doomstacks to use against my Sunni characters.

Thankfully, they are completely incompetent at using them now.

I wish that I was kicked in the balls.

Granted, you're kicked into a pool of rubber balls.

I wish the Earth get destroyed, in Book of Revelation style.

Granted, then there's heaven for those who are good. And hell for those who are evil. Regardless of what you believe in, you'll be alright since Lord will be lenient.

I wish for my car to break down.

edited 2nd Feb '17 2:52:11 AM by TheFarmboy

Granted, Someone rich noticed your car broke down in the middle of the road, and decided to take pity on you by giving you a Ferrari.

I wish all SCPS were real.

Granted, the Foundation exists too, and only the chill ones ever break out.

I wish I was turned into a horse.

Granted, but you're well cared for.

I wish the entire universe was hit by Vacuum Decay everywhere at once.

Granted! A second Big Bang happens afterwards. The "human" race that eventually spawns from this one is much more advanced than we are now, and we get reincarnated into our respective alternate selves in this new universe.

I wish for everyone to have a Hair-Trigger Temper.

Granted, but they all learn to express their anger in positive ways.

I wish Trump would be crowned as an absolute monarch of the US.

Granted. He underwent a major Heel–Face Turn and begins to focus on world peace.

I wish for some food poisoning.

Granted! However, the poison dose is very small, and the next food you eat has the antidote for the poison.

I wish I was depressed forever.

1111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111

You use it for motivation to create art that becomes world famous.

I wish a meteor around the size of the one that wiped out the dinosaurs would hit the earth.

edited 7th Feb '17 9:27:44 PM by CyberController

Granted. Humans have already left the Earth for a new planet to colonize by then.

I wish for a live-action R-rated Pokémon horror movie that's based on the scariest Pokédex entries.

edited 7th Feb '17 9:45:49 PM by TheGamechanger

Granted but it is rebranded and turned into an original series that is a hit with adults.

I wish I was a vampire.

edited 8th Feb '17 3:29:08 AM by vjoi

You're now a Friendly Neighborhood Vampire.

I wish I can (censored) everyone in my avatar gallery.

edited 8th Feb '17 4:06:32 AM by Mhazard

Granted, none of us have to see it though as it is censored. Thank god.

I wish time in the universe to halt permanently.

Granted. A new, better, universe is created, and we all go there!

I wish I lived in Berserk.

Granted, You get a role in a live action adaptation of Berserk!

I wish I was friends with Troughton and Pertwee.

Granted, they act nice and non-annoying to you.

I wish for a hurricane to strike the UK.

Granted, except only Asshole Victims suffered much more than being wrongly paranoid about it hitting them.

I wish for a cheese monster epidemic.

edited 8th Mar '17 9:35:06 AM by StarAndroidJaguar

Granted, after it was beaten, world hunger was ended due to the excess amounts of cheese.

I wish Stingy really did own everything, and wouldn't share..

edited 8th Mar '17 12:25:46 PM by Jaxfirebus

Granted, no one plays with him anymore.

1 VV153 1 C4N 1-14V3 53X VV1T1-1 4 CU73 4ND 53XY 61RL!!

(Getting Crap Past the Radar indeed.)

edited 11th Mar '17 3:54:06 AM by Mhazard

She knifes you afterwards. She was infertile anyway.

I wish for a wand of wishing.

Granted, the wishes you make with it go exactly how you want them to go.

I wish everyone had AIDS.

granted everyone has Automated Intelligent Droid Servants.

I wish I was an all powerful wizard who is WASTED on the dark side!

edited 11th Mar '17 1:40:35 PM by vjoi