Fix a wish!

Granted. The place you live in may be a shithole, and your neighbours may be crazy, but everyone there is more willing to interact with each other than people in nice suburbs.

I wish I was mentally unstable.

Granted, you're the figurehead of a movement for disabled rights and those physcially and or mentally handicapped reap in the benefits.

I wish for a Nuclear Holocaust.

Granted. The "Nuclear Holocaust" is actually directed at the sun.

I wish I was deathly ill.

Granted. However, your loved ones have found Dragon Balls to resurrect you.

I wish that all Shy Gals had died.

Granted, but they come back to life as their normal selves, without losing their happiness.

I wish I would turn into a squirrel.

Granted, you come to prefer it over the complicated life of a sentient.

I wish to burn my throat on coffee.

Granted. But the coffee is so nice, it heals you instantly.

I wish that they would make a Sonichu anime.

Granted! The Pragmatic Adaptation fixes many of the original's issues (especially the art style), and it becomes one of the most genuinely beloved Crossovers this decade.

I wish for Santa to give me coal for Christmas.

Granted, and just as you were running out of fuel for the furnace, too!

I wish I wasn't so damn lazy.

Yes. Now you can get a degree in less than a minute.

I wish I was being eaten by Grimm.

Granted, but the Grimm in question feed on stress, leaving you calm and relaxed.

I wish I was being abducted by aliens right now.

edited 10th Jan '17 11:04:41 PM by MightyG

Granted! While you're in the UFO, the aliens give free milk and beef steak! And they give you a sonic screwdriver as a souvenir!

I wish I was eating a durian right now.

Turns out that despite the smell the durain is actually pretty good.

I wish that all food tastes like moldy Brussels sprouts

Granted. All food is now incredibly healthy as a result, and everyone seems to have spontaneously acquired a taste for moldy brussels sprouts.

I wish I could think of something to wish for.

Granted, You wish for world peace.

I wish none of my wishes would be granted as i intended.

(ah, the reverse of the anti-jackass genie wish)

Granted, you wish that you die, but you find a reason to live instead.

I wish I was an inanimate object.

Granted, You're a diamond worth 25,000,000$, and a millionaire keeps you in their mansion on a comfy pillow behind a glass case, where you're safe. possibly bored, but safe.

I wish for Aliens to invade earth.

Granted, it's a Benevolent Alien Invasion.

I wish for Kill Sats to draw penises on the Earth's surface.

Granted, However they're so incredibly small nobody even notices them.

I wish everyday was opposite day.

Yes. That means Opposite Day is meaningless. So it's normal again.

I wish I met DIO.

Granted, they are very polite to you.

I wish this site had more adverts.

Granted, but they're respectable advertisements that don't intrude on you, and never sends you to a virus site.

I wish everyone on earth had stingers (like bees)

edited 15th Jan '17 2:55:01 PM by Jaxfirebus

Granted, but these stingers don't have venom or hurt like hell. Instead, they make you lose a lot of weight when you get stung!

I wish the World of Disney merges with our Planet Earth.

edited 15th Jan '17 3:34:09 PM by selfKaiHarness

Granted, we live happily ever after.

I wish all water in the universe to become Explodium (including the water still in our bodies)

Thankfully, it only has such a small explosion that it barely shakes our atoms, and then turns back to normal.

I wish all video game companies were run like modern day Konami