CRASH BANDICOOT: THE THREAD

That crazy little fuck. The marsupial, the myth, the legend.... Crash Motherfucking Bandicoot.

Ripped from his home on N. Sanity Island, Crash Bandicoot was taken to the lab of the villainous Dr. Neo Periwinkle Cortex, and subjected to a device called the Evolvo-Ray, with the bad doctor hoping to add the Bandicoot to his army of Cortex Commandos, a bunch of mutated animals he would use to conquer the world. Crash was deemed as unfit to serve, however, and was tossed out. While imprisoned, however, Crash's heart was captured by one called Tawna, a lovely female bandicoot. While washing up on the shore of N. Sanity Beach, Crash teams up with Aku Aku, the disembodied wooden voodoo mask spirit of the island's protective witch doctor! This begins a journey that would take Crash to strange and exotic lands, fighting off unsavory characters like Papu Papu, the big, fat tribesman; Pinstripe Potoroo, a machine gun toting Autralian mammal; Koala Kong, your ordinary Koala ON STEROIDS, Doctor N. Brio, a stuttering mad scientist with a potion for an Incredible Hulk-esque transformation; and several others before taking down Doctor Neo Cortex himself and finally saving that hot piece of bandicoot.

A year later, Cortex claims to have gone straight, and enlists Crash's help in gathering crystals, crystals he can use to save the world from "a catastrophic solar flux that could rip the Earth apart!" Despite warnings from his super smart sister Coco, and Cortex's disgruntled former business partner Dr. N. Brio, Crash gathers up the crystals, after a crazy adventure fraught with rolling boulders, jet boarding over whirlpools, polar bear riding, angry bees, collapsing ancient structures, eel infested sewers, as well as all new enemies like Tiny Tiger, a tasmanian tiger with the strength of ten bandicoots, and Dr. N-Gin, a mech piloting half mechanical man. Eventually Cortex reveals that he was playing Crash all along, but Crash manages to set things right in an epic space battle before Cortex can bring his plans for world domination to fruition, and eventually helps N. Brio put together a space laser that can successfully knock Cortex's space station out of orbit.

But things didn't work out as well as planned, as the debris from the space station fell down to Earth and broke open an ancient prison, releasing Uka Uka, the most evil, vile disembodied voodoo mask witch doctor spirit around, and the higher power Cortex had been working for all along. Uka Uka assmebles the toughest gang of bad guys yet, including Doctor Nefarious Tropy, a time warping madman, and Dingodile, an abomination of nature that's exactly what his name sounds like. The villains hatch a plan to go back in time to get the crystals and gems, but Crash, Coco, and Aku Aku, are up to the task of stopping them. In an adventure through medieval European castles, ancient Egyptian tombs, prehistoric dinosaur swamps, and more, Crash and Coco ride motorcycles, jet skis, and a baby T-rex, fly in WWII era bi-planes, and dash across the Great Wall of China on the back on a tiger as the Crash crew take down the baddies yet again!

AND THEN THERE'S RACING.

AND THEN A BUNCH OF GAMES NOBODY LIKED EXCEPT ME.

AND THEN THE FRANCHISE KINDA DIED.

Does anyone else find themselves really missing this crazy little fuck? Last game was in 08. Not really that long ago, looking at how some other franchises have bounced back after longer periods of absence, so I'm not counting out the possibility of him making a comeback, but I dunno. Seeing how Activison managed to murder Spyro even worse than he'd been murdered before, I don't know if I really even want it. Though the idea of a game with Crash 1's "you vs the world" feel with tight, linear, platforming, wacky bosses, and beautifully rendered jungles, rivers, temples, machinery, etc is something I would pay big, big money for.

So, yeah, discuss this wonderful, wonderful franchise.

edited 22nd Apr '12 6:08:27 PM by CTM

Wow, that intro post was amazing. Manly Tears ensued.

Got Warped on my PSP a couple months ago, it really takes me back.

I also liked Wrath of Cortex and Crash of the Titans...

I also still got the Crash Purple/Spyro Orange combo cartridge, my DS hasn't been happier between that and Pokémon.

edited 22nd Apr '12 1:13:11 PM by TechPowah

I remember my friends had the original trilogy. We couldn't beat Sunset Vista. :(

Anyone remember the secret levels in 2 and 3? We had to used a codebook to find out about them, lol. Good times.

Loved 2 and CTR. Wrath of Cortex on the PS 2 was pretty fun, except fuck those load times.

N. Tranced on GBA was kind of okay.

edited 22nd Apr '12 1:13:41 PM by hnd03

Funny. I just finished playing through Crash Team Racing again today. I forgot how tough the later levels could be in adventure mode.

Cortex Strikes Back, Warped, and CTR were so much fun. Glad I still held onto them, although I was stupid enough to give away the original Spyro trilogy. I liked Wrath of Cortex and Nitro Kart as well, although they weren't as enjoyable as their predecessors. The original game was... meh. Crash Bash, aside of a few minigames, was pretty terrible.

Cortex Strikes Back was my first Playstation game. Good times...

I only ever played Warped. I'm fairly sure it was one of my first video games. The nostalgie lead me to getting it on PSN, and it's as fun as I remembered.

I've always found the hate for The Wrath Of Cortex entirely unreasonable.

Technically speaking, I think it was mine as well. Or maybe it was X-Men vs. Street Fighter and then Cortex Strikes Back.

It wasn't a bad game by any means, but Warped was a Tough Act to Follow. And the load times were atrocious. That being said, levels like Bamboozled were a blast.

My sister would beg me to load up Bamboozled as a kid. Entirely understandable.

I got all the PS 1 games from Playstation Network. God, that's my whole childhood.

Poor Crash. Probably one of the biggest tragedies in gaming. At least the crappy Sonic games didn't turn the characters into shallow parodies of celebrities.

edited 22nd Apr '12 7:02:44 PM by RTaco

Aww man, Crash Bandicoot was my childhood. I'd just spend all day over at a friends house playing Warped and Wrath of Cortex when I was younger. Heck, I still own most of the Crash games.

Also, I acually liked Crash of the Titans and Mind over Mutant. Yeah, they're Radically different from the previous Crash games, but they were still goog games in their own rights.

Speaking of Radical era Crash games, Radical was working on a Crash game thatactually looked pretty awesome, but was sadly cancelled. Take a look:

edited 23rd Apr '12 1:32:50 AM by Dezmo

What you did there. I saw it.

I really digged the first four games (never got to play the ones after though). The first two were pretty damn hard…

15 years later I still remember that red gem floating above me in the ice level, mocking me, desperately out of reach… the 3 year old little brother of my then-neighbour broke the CD on a whim and I never played it again…

I finished Warped 105% however and still have it today. CTR was the only racing game I ever enjoyed.

That's really too bad the franchise had to turn like this… :'(

That first music… I remember it… but from where?! ò.Ô

edited 23rd Apr '12 3:39:10 PM by Lyendith

One thing I absolutely despised about Cortex Strikes Back: That fucking Box Gem for Cold Hard Crash.

• Get to the Death Route in one life
• Get to the end of the Death Route
• Smack the button
  • Don't fall off the edge
• Make your way all the way back to the start
• Finish the level
• Pray that you didn't miss a box
• Get pissed that you did

edited 23rd Apr '12 3:54:57 PM by hnd03

OH GOD DAT BOX GEM.

Yeah, that was brutal. And there was this one other box that was hidden just out of sight in that level, so even when you did do all that shit, there was stil a good chance you'd get to the end, find one mssing box, and have to do it all again!

AND AGAIN!

AND AGAIN!

AND AGAIN!

AND AGAIN!

Ow gawd... Naughty Dog, you bastards.

The Indiana Jones esque levels, especially the one riding Polar more than made up for it though.

Yeah, that gem was a pain.

The dumbest secret in that game? The one in the giant polar bear level where you have to jump down a pit into a secret area. A pit. It looks just like any other, except there were three wooden planks left unbroken on the bridge the polar bear fell down. Yeah, Game FA Qs had to help me on that one.

The fake nitro crate stairs in Bee-havin' or whichever bee level it was were brilliant though. I actually felt stupid for not checking those out earlier.

There's a reason why collect-a-thons went out of style.

I tended to have a love-hate relationship with the box gems. Sometimes they were challenging, and sometimes they were stupid.

edited 23rd Apr '12 6:17:04 PM by KnownUnknown

The sound of all the boxes I missed falling on Crash's head after I finished levels in the first game was painful. Crash's triumphant "Ta-daaah!" made it well worth breaking all the crates.

And if you get all the gems, you get to… skip the final boss and watch Crash and Tawna escape on an ugly bird. My brother and I laughed, partly because of the silliness but mostly because that was my reward for getting every stinking gem, a task I only completed many years after getting the game. The sequels at least had slightly better alternate endings.

Like blowing Cortex the fuck out of the sky.

And turning him into a baby (IIRC).

Even though I had seen them in games long before this one, this was the series that made me realize that Chase Levels were a common trope in video games. Every game in the series (or, at least, from the first game to Wrath Of Cortex - I haven't played the later ones) has at least two.