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Hello. I am M'shtr Awwiz. I am He Who Lurks Between Dimensions, The Terrible Face In The Open Sky, and a greeter at Walmart. I am the only one of my kind, and I have no breasts, but I am made aware that you small things do. Some of you, at least. Be aware of this. Cancer will not kill you as quickly as the act of gazing into my terrible eyes will. Donate to a small-female-thing-breast-cancer-charity-organization today.
edited 26th Jun '12 3:09:34 PM by MsieurLapin
You see, Gazelles that take medical marijuana are seventeen per cent more likely to be eaten by Crocodiles and Alligators. Us reptiles gotta eat, so go to your doctor and request some medical marijuana today! Save the crocodiles.
edited 18th Apr '11 10:15:47 AM by AlirozTheConfused
I... wait, w-what?
-Offscreen Voice: It's on dating violence.-
Um... um... don't shoot danmaku at your date! It's really not nice, and stuff...
Um... oh! The next PSA is on... Pool Safety?
:) Don't drown.
Attention. Do not fill your fellow young human with mewling spawn. It will ruin your life and also babies are my only weakness.
Listen, my friends! || These creatures serve us. The horse carries, || the cow feeds, And the sheep clothes || our naked backs. Woden gave them, || his birds and beasts for our free use, || and we must be greatful. We must give them || our utmost respect, For Woden made us, || and he can break us too.
The next topic is on sharing with your peers.
edited 18th Apr '11 11:16:20 AM by annebeeche
Oh, this one's easy!
Don't hurt animals! It's not nice, and if you do it they might someday cause a youkai and even though the youkai won't remember you it'll know to hate you and it'll hit you with a lot of danmaku and they might eat you.
Um... um... share with people. Because if you don't you might cause an incident, and that's never good, because then one of the miko will have to go and beat you up.
Umm... the next PSA is on... Bullying.
edited 18th Apr '11 11:14:55 AM by AnnoR
Well. Never done this before, but, uh, my brother Tre's life is kinda crappy because of bullying. So don't do it. And don't take it either, 'cuz then you'll end up like him.
offscreen voice: Hey!
The next PSA is on poison. Mr. Yuk and whatnot.
Moi has a lot in common with the character she is now cosplaying. We both love to eat yummy things like eclairs and ice cream and crepes and sushi and bon bons and kobe beef and creme brulee and...oh, yes, that's right, I'm supposed to tell you about things not to eat! Umm....don't eat poison! That's right. Poison is very bad because it can kill you, and if you're dead, you can't eat! Is that not sad, mes amis? Sailor Piggy says, Kissy Kissy!
Whenever someone tells you, 'I'm The Doctor', watch out that he isn't giving you Poison, because that's pretty damn bad for you. It's best to Stay Clean entirely, and don't Bite The Bullet either, because the stuff in there is Poison as well. A Loser might well try to get his Sweet Revenge on you with Poison, leaving you Stone Dead Forever. And when your woman asks you, 'Love Me Like A Reptile', don't forget to tell her, 'Woman, you don't want me to love you like a reptile. Reptiles use Poison.'
Every phrase in bold is a Motörhead song title. The next PSA will be about drive-by shootings.
edited 18th Apr '11 3:14:06 PM by MidnightRambler
"Only cowardly criminals would resort to drive-by shootings! Remember, kids, if you've got a beef with someone, try to resolve it with reason and negotiation. And if that fails, take them on fair and square in the boxing or wrestling ring! Tune in next time for another exciting Mask of Justice adventure!"
Next Topic: Preventing forest fires.
edited 18th Apr '11 2:28:46 PM by SKJAM
don't light a forest on fire, it did nothing to you. Ligt your enemies on fire instead!
next PSA is on Zombie Plans
When dealing with the shrivelled husks of your fellow man-things that my children have blown new life into, always use chainsaws. They are noisy and attract more zombies, they need gas to run which can be troublesome to get, and they are unwieldy.
Good zombie hunters use chainsaws.
Your next frail mayfly topic will be proper hygiene.
YOU! BABY! YOU DID NOT TAKE SHOWER! USE PROPER SHOWER NEXT TIME BABY!
The next PSA shall be on properly cooking your hamburgers
Well, I don't know about burgers, but if you cook pork chops you get more healing! So yeah, cook stuff and live to build obsidian structures.
The next PSA is on talking to strangers.
forgot which avatar he was using >.>;;;;
Cloyster cloyster cloycloy cloy ster! STER STER CLOY cloy cloyster. * Talking to strangers is a good thing. Because you are only one, and the strangers outnumber you 6 billion to one. And if you can't beat them... talk to them. For the motherland! You should come to the next PSA, which is about The Proper Use of Apostrophes.
edited 19th Apr '11 6:59:40 AM by PantheraSapiensEllipsis
OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH if you want it to be a possessive, it's just "I-T-S", but if you want it to be a contraction, then it's "I-T-apostrophe-S"... SCALAWAG!
The next avatar is giving a PSA on spilling coffee on your lap
The world is a strange place, Hobbes. Just the other day I saw a news story on TV about how too much caffeine is bad for you, so this morning I decided to try and stop dad from sabotaging his health by knocking his coffee out of his hand. Man, you should have seen the air our car got as he was swatting at his lap and screaming bloody murder. Now here we are haunting this lonely curve and Mr. Watterson doesn't have anything to write about anymore.
R.I.P. Calvin. 1986-1996
Don't let more of our beloved funny paper icons die meaningless deaths. Always use a cup holder.
edited 19th Apr '11 7:42:10 AM by darnpenguin
Talk about poopsocking or I eat your skull.
I know you all Live To Win, and like to play 'till you've got All The Aces. Who wants to be a Loser, after all? Still, avoid Overkill: don't forget to Shut It Down every once in a while, or it's bound to Tear Ya Down.
The next PSA will be about Video Nasties.
Moi believes that Video Nasties are tres bad taste. If you must watch a movie, watch a quality classic like Casablanca, The Sheik or Babe. If you simply must have blood, gore, eye horror and other icky things, then may moi suggest such fine French films as Les Yeux Sans Visage or Un Chien Andalou. They're French, so they must be good! Moi will also suggest my two fav-or-ite films, Sailor Moon: Hearts in Ice and The Muppets Take Manhattan, two films extolling the virtues of interspecies romance. Sailor Piggy says, Kissy Kissy!
Can someone please do Otherkin since it got skipped over last time? (Don't you hate it when people post at the same time?)
To say that you have the soul of something other than human is blasphemy to the Omnissiah!
Ah, Musique du Roche! Moi has many friends who enjoy this particular genre, though moi prefers the sultry, dulcet tones of such masters as Placido Domingo or Celine Dion. But remember, no matter what kind of musique vous are interested in, always keep it at a reasonable level. If you use headphones, or as you modernistes call them "ear buds", then please pay attention to your surroundings. Or else, you might get hit by a bus and that would be tres icky! Sailor Piggy says, Kissy Kissy!
How about a PSA on reading/literacy?
edited 20th Apr '11 7:23:58 PM by cygnavamp
(answering an e-mail)
What?! You want me to do a PSA on READING?! Okay, here you go...
READ A FREAKING BOOK!
The next avatar should now give a FREAKING PSA on WRITING A DECENT E-MAIL FOR A CHANGE!
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