Ditch your guns, your machetes, your conspicuously hotdog shaped Weaponized Car! Trope Co.® has engineered the ultimate masculinity-bolstering precision tool of death WITH THE PHALLIC WEAPON™!
There's the dual-magazine Gatling Good machine gun of destruction; The Hand-Cannon! We've got The Penetrator, a spear-sword hybrid so massive that no sheath could contain this emasculating sword of destruction! And then there's The Baby-Maker, a flamethrower so hot, the loads it shoots will leave your friends sweating from their eyes from the heat of your big-dick energy!
What's the matter, wuss? You think you're not manly enough for this high-end, stick-shaped compensator of doom? YOU'RE DAMN RIGHT, YOU AREN'T! That's why Trope Co.® has a money back guarantee! Shipping cost not included.
Phallic Weapon™: It wrecks puss, so don't be a wuss!
Trope Co.® cannot be held responsible for any misogynistic and chauvinistic conduct amongst its customer base and Trope Co.® does not condone any Frat Bro douchebaggery that may occur from the Trope Co.® Phallic Weapon™. The Trope Co.® Phallic Weapon™ does not make your actual penis any larger, nor will it make you any more of a man. Masculinity is a sociological construct and can neither be quantified, nor accurately explained and enforced. Thanks for the money, sucker.
