Release: January 25, 2011
Film: Care Bears Movie II: A New Generation (1986)
- Bag of Kidnapping: The Critic finds it absurd that Dark Heart uses one (albeit a magical one).Critic: A bag. The lord of evil's secret weapon is a bag. Hey, here's a crazy idea: Remember when you turned into that giant killer dragon before? Why don't you just do that again? I mean, I know it's not as subtle as... A BAG, but I still think it would be much more effective!
- Deal with the Devil: At the end of the film the Critic makes one with Sage in order to erase his memory of all the sequels he'd watched.
- Padding: The Critic guesses that the final scene in the movie was only included to bring up the total running time.
- Running Gag: Once Dark Heart refers to himself with a melodramatic reverb as DAAAARKHEEEEEAAARRRT, the Critic spends the rest of the review exclusively referring to him with the same exaggerated drawl.
- Sadistic Choice: Mocked in Kristy's case, when her options weren't even remotely tragic.Critic: Yes, so it's either help the lord of darkness rule the Earth, or be pissy-poor at sports. DON'T MAKE HER CHOOSE!
- Sequelitis: Despite not liking the original Care Bears movie, the Critic considers the sequel worse.
- Tastes Like Diabetes: The Critic's opinion of the scene where the kids take care of the baby cubs.Critic: There's only so much cutesiness I can take! I mean tell me: do they shit sprinkles or Lucky Charms? Because nothing else would make this crap any more schmaltzy.
"Time for a game of disappearing bears!"