Airdate: Monday, August 5, 2002
Sender: Dan Waters, Dallas TX
Strong Bad: (singing) Gimme some of this and gimme some of thiiiiis... Gimme some of this.
Dan from Dallas wants to know if Strong Bad has suffered the misfortune of drinking a "cold one" that's not actually cold. Strong Bad's thoughts on the matter are that "A One that isn't Cold is scarcely a One at all," in accordance with Strong Bad's "property of ones", where the "one-itutde" of a Cold One is directly proportional to the "cold-itude". Strong Bad goes on a brief tangent about how they drink "Not-so-Cold Ones", "Room Temperature Ones", and even "Warm Ones" in foreign lands...
Strong Bad: ...But where I come from, it's cuh-HOLD ones! Though I have to admit, on certain evenings in late spring, a Cool One can be very refreshing. Ooh, that's a good one...
Tropes:
- Continuity Nod: Strong Bad refers to the Property of Ones as "one of my bogus mathematical theorems", much like the Transitive Butt Property.
- Everyone Has Standards: Strong Bad wouldn't wish "a Cold None" on anybody.
- Perfectly Cromulent Word: "one-itude" and "cold-itude".
- Pretentious Pronunciation: Strong Bad pronounces "Texas" with a Spanish accent ("Tejas").
- A Tankard of Moose Urine: Strong Bad seems to regard any "Cold One" that isn't served cold (or at least cool) like this.
(the scene changes to a needlepoint of a few Cold Ones with the caption "A One That Isn't Cold, Is Scarcely A One At All" underneath the bottles. The Paper comes down)
