Don’t Worry It’s His Sister
Johnny and Ray arrive at the town limits, and Ray tells him that all 4,500 acres of the town are his. Ray also says it must be a good feeling, given that he doesn’t have much since his business manager took everything. An irritated Johny looks up at the town’s welcome sign, which portrays a man who looks like Roland in a suggestive pose with a woman as they are panning for gold. Johnny asks if it is a joke, but Ray only observes it might need sprucing up. Johnny is incredulous that Ray doesn’t see the implications of the pose, but Ray only says the sign is very popular and people come from all over to take a picture with it. Johnny insists the sign come down, but Ray says it’s the mayor’s family and it’s been there for 40 years.
Johnny returns to the motel and can’t immediately find Moira, whose voice slurs “They dare to call me irrelevant?” Johnny closes Moira’s laptop and finds her in sunglasses in the closet. She’s upset about anonymous commenters on the internet.
Alexis asks David if the “beardy” guy from the other night is for her or not. She looks at the picture of her and Mutt kissing and David snarks. Johnny comes in and asks if they noticed their mother in the closet. Alexis says she thought maybe she was looking for a contact or something. Johnny informs them that she googled herself, and David asks how bad it is. Johnny replies a “a solid 7” to which David responds Johnny can manage a seven. Johnny says they have to handle it because he’s busy, and they remind him of the other times like in Aspen and St. Tropez when they handled her. Johnny says he’s busy and insists Alexis handle it. She goes to Moira and Johnny’s room.
Johnny notices that David has purchased eye cream. When asked how he paid for it, David says one of his credit cards is still working. Johnny again asks how he will pay for it. David says he’s already paid for it. Johnny tells him that he needs to get a job to pay for eye cream from Paris. He tells him to ask Stevie where he can get a job.
Alexis tells Moira that she should relax because it’s not like her boyfriend left her for a Scandinavian flight attendant. Moira mocks her, snorts and tells her she dates pigs. Alexis says she just remembered that being a mom isn’t Moira’s strong suit.
David goes to the front desk and asks theoretically where one might look for a job in Schitt’s Creek. Stevie opens the paper and asks what he was looking for. David responds something in art curating or trend forecasting. Stevie responds that she’s not seeing anything in art curating or trend forecasting and asks if he has other skills. David says he has been told he has really good taste. Stevie suggests grocery store bag boy, a minimum wage job. David responds that that is what $40-$45 per hour? Stevie says, exactly.
A still slurring Moira orders a large, fattening breakfast at the cafe, and Alexis intervenes and says she’ll have egg whites and spinach, and Alexis orders tea. Alexis sees Mutt come into the cafe and gather food scraps. She leaves Moira, who says she’s really bored. Alexis chases after Mutt and wants to explain why she let him kiss her. He responds that she kissed him. They banter, and Mutt says he is composting the scraps.
Johnny goes to the town hall and meets the town council. Ray is there, and Johnny meets grey-haired older man Bob and the butch black woman Ronnie. Johnny wants to talk about the sign, and Bob tells him that the sign tells people what to expect when they come to town. Johnny argues for a cleaner image, and Ronnie says if it isn’t broke, don’t fix it.
Jocelyn approaches Moira in the cafe, who says she’s eating egg whites and hoping the building will collapse. Jocelyn asks her coach her class for a school play. Jocelyn says the kids would be thrilled to have an actual star teach them, though she seems skeptical of the word star. Moira responds that must have taken courage but in show business boldness is rewarded, and she says yes.
Johnny arrives at the motel and asks David how it went. David says he met with a woman at a sad grocery store and has an interview to be a “bag boy.” Johnny says that’s great. Johnny volunteers to coach David for the interview. David is sarcastic and Johnny is frustrated. Alexis returns from a run, and Johnny asks where Moira is. Alexis tells a concerned Johnny that she’s with Jocelyn.
At Jocelyn’s class, Moira gives a talk for the students that includes advice like “You are not here to have fun, you will work until it hurts.”
Roland drives up to Johnny and says he hears that Johnny is freaked out about the town sign. Roland thinks this is an attack on his family and insists Johnny get in the car.
The students are reading the dialogue for an anti-drug play. Moira mocks them and calls the script garbage. She demands to know who wrote it, and Jocelyn raises her hand. Moira says it’s clear she’s never been addicted to drugs, and she suggests Jocelyn write what she knows: The quiet suffering of a woman trapped in a relationship with a simpleton. Jocelyn says that’s not what she knows, and drug awareness is part of the curriculum. Moira proceeds to ask the kids “What is it you need?” as if she’s coaching a method acting class.
Alexis approaches Mutt’s barn. He answers the door in a towel. She asks if he was working out. He says sort of, and Twyla appears, also in a towel. Twyla is friendly and invites her for tea, but she leaves and says “blaaah.”
Roland and Johnny stand in front of the town sign and tells Johnny his grandfather turned the land into a little slice of heaven. Johnny tries to explain why he objects to the town and finally says: It looks like your great-grandfather is fucking your great-grandmother right up the ass. Roland thinks that’s demented, and he explains that that isn’t Horace’s wife. It’s his sister. Johnny asks how that makes it better. Roland says they don’t do that sort of thing with their sisters. A frustrated Johnny says people driving by won’t know that’s his sister. Finally, Roland says he’ll fix it.
Moira exclaims they are going off book and encourages the students to improvise. Moira improvises some lines, and she tells one student she will get fat and another he will be bald and homeless. Moira monologues about trying to become who you are and then cries and groans.
A sad sack woman is coaching David on how to bag groceries. He’s not doing well, and he gets a call from his dad to ask how it is going. He hangs up and then asks someone with two big things of cheese balls if they are on a health kick. Johnny calls again. David hangs up on him again. Johnny calls again, and David gets fired. He hands his vest to the woman.
The family stands in front of the town sign, and Johnny says this is worse. Roland has put up a sign next to the sign that says: Don’t Worry, That’s His Sister.
Snarkiest Person in Schitt’s Creek: Johnny Rose
Tropes That Appear In This Episode:
- Call-Back: The woman who hires and fires David at the grocery store makes a memorable Season 5 cameo.
- Cerebus Call-Back: In the Season Finale of Season 5, there is a Cerebus Call Back to Moira crawling into the closet this episode.
- Does This Remind You of Anything?: A rare In-Universe example appears in the town sign, which looks as though the town founder is having sex with his sister.
- Fallen-on-Hard-Times Job: David spends part of the day as a bag boy, before getting fired.
- The Fashionista: Moira and Alexis sport amazing design outfits, and Johnny remarks on how strange David's designer pants are.
- Foreshadowing: When David says he has been told he has really good taste, this foreshadows the fact that he will become a successful retail marketer.
- History with Celebrity: Alexis name-drops Gwyneth Paltrow.
- Lady Drunk: Moira has some substance abuse issues.
- Only Sane Man: Poor Johnny Rose is the only sane man in his family and in the town, apparently.
- Sassy Black Woman: Ronnie is introduced and establishes herself as someone unimpressed by Johnny Rose.
- Sheltered Aristocrat: David doesn’t know what a bag boy is, doesn’t understands credit cards produce bills that must be paid, and thinks minimum wage is $40-$45.
- Unusually Uninteresting Sight: Moira's children are so accustomed to her behavior that they don't really notice when she lies face down on the carpet and drags herself into the closet.
- Well, Excuse Me, Princess!: Mutt and Alexis banter like this.
- White-Dwarf Starlet: Moira is clearly past her prime and desperate for relevance in her acting career.
