Title: The Book of Samuel
Directed by: James Burrows
Written by: Phoef Sutton
Air Date: December 11, 1986
Previous: Thanksgiving Orphans
Next: Dance, Diane, Dance
Guest Starring: Amanda Wyss, Katherine Mc Grath, John Brace
"The Book of Samuel" is the 11th episode of the fifth season of Cheers.
Sam has gotten a last-minute invitation to go off on a fishing trip with his buddies. He puts Woody in charge of the bar and leaves, and that's all we see of Sam for the episode. No sooner is Woody put in charge than he receives a letter from his girlfriend Beth (Amanda Wyss), seen once previously in Season 4's "Woody Goes Belly Up". It's a "Dear John" Letter in which Beth, who is still back in Indiana, tells Woody that she's found someone else and she is breaking up with him.
Worse, she is flying into Boston with her new boyfriend Leonard on a trip to Niagara Falls. Woody, dreading the prospect of Beth strolling into the bar and finding him alone, goes into Sam's little black book and finds one Desiree Harrison, who according to Sam's book is "the best, the best, the best." He calls her up and asks her to the bar, but is surprised to discover that Desiree is a middle-aged woman who has shown up in jeans and a sweatshirt. It turns out that Desiree is not one of Sam's babes: she's his cleaning lady.
Tropes:
- Continuity Nod: A season and a half later, Beth makes her second and last appearance as Woody's girlfriend.
- Contrived Coincidence: Woody pulls out Sam's book of babes, picks one Tina Wilson out at random, and calls her. She turns out to be sitting right next to him at the bar.
- "Dear John" Letter: Woody gets one from Beth announcing that she's breaking up with him and getting married.
- Hypocritical Humor: Beth and Leonard are leaving. Diane, who has been sticking her nose in Woody's business the whole episode, chirps "I know you would have enjoyed meeting Woody's girlfriend!" This was a bad idea, as Beth and Leonard say that their plane doesn't leave until midnight and they'd love to take Woody and his fictional girlfriend to dinner. After a panicked Woody turns back to Diane she says "I'm sorry, Woody. I have a strict rule against meddling in other people's affairs."
- May–December Romance: Discussed Trope. The episode ends with Woody apologizing, telling Desiree that he needs someone to talk to, and offering to take her out for a cup of coffee. As they leave she says "This isn't going to be one of those May-December romances, is it?" Woody says that the bar's too busy in December with the holidays, but May is OK.
- Not Listening to Me, Are You?: Frasier is ruminating about how he and Woody, The Shrink and The Bartender, have similar jobs.Frasier: We both have to listen patiently while people unload their grief and suffering. Sometimes it's just more than I can bear.
Woody: I know just how you feel, Dr. Crane.
Frasier: You know, if only I had your ability to listen to a person's problem, sympathize with them, and yet still go on about my business calmly and happily. How do you do it, Wood?
Woody: I know just how you feel, Dr. Crane.
Frasier: You're not listening to me, are you?
Woody: I know just how you feel, Dr. Crane.
Frasier: How about a double scotch rocks?
Woody: Coming right up! [Frasier rolls his eyes]] - One Dialogue, Two Conversations: A long exchange in which Desiree is talking about getting started on cleaning the bar and Woody thinks she's talking about sex.Desiree: I'd like to get right to it. I'll stop to eat when I get a little tired.
Woody: Wow.
Desiree: I figure you probably have your own equipment. If not, I have mine out in the car.
Woody: [nervous] What sort of equipment?
Desiree: Well, the first thing we'll need is a bucket.
