Mom and Dad are looking over a note from Calvin's school, which says that he hasn't been doing his homework, drew aliens on the chalkboard, failed the last three tests, shot spitballs at Susie, and put a tack on her chair. They decide to give him more to do to give him a better sense of responsibility. It can't be chores, since he breaks something every time. They settle on an afterschool activity. Dad suggests the newspaper, the track team, and baseball, but Mom decides on band class.
Dad protests. Mom brushes this off as remaining trauma from when he was in band class.
- Dad: "Well, dear, you've got to realize that anyone who was ever in band never gets any respect! I mean, look at me! I'm a scrawny, balding guy with glasses! It says 'former band student' all over me!"
Dad begs her not to do it, but Mom stands firm. He runs upstairs, and warns Calvin that what would come next was not his fault. Mom entered after him and broke the news that Calvin would be going to band class. Once the news sinks in, Calvin freaks out. After Mom leaves, he grumbles about her signing him up for things without his permission, citing the two times she signed him up for Camp Pine and when she signed him up for swimming lessons, which led to him being attacked by aliens, attacked by a bear, and nearly drowning respectively.
- Hobbes: "I think you benefited from them though."Calvin: "How?"Hobbes: "You now know you should avoid aliens, bears, and water!"
Hobbes comes to school with Calvin the next day. Band class is held out in the football field, and the teacher is Maestro Klein. Klein demonstrates the clarinet, the drums, and the saxophone. At the end of Klein's rather odd demonstration, Calvin just asks if he can go home.
When Calvin gets home, he gives an exaggerated, sarcastic tirade about how "fun" it was. Hobbes apparently went home before he did, and he asks Calvin if things got any better after he left. They did not.
The next day, Calvin tries multiple things to get out of school: smacking erasers to create a dust cloud (he gets sent to Mr. Spittle), starting a food fight as a distraction (Ms. Wormwood catches him, and he gets sent to Mr. Spittle), and climbing over the fence at recess (once more caught and sent to Mr. Spittle). In band class, Klein starts by demonstrating a kazoo, which Calvin hates. The rest of the lesson passes similarly.
After the lesson is over, Calvin stays behind to talk to Klein. He notices that Klein also hates his job, and tells Klein that he has a plan to get them both out. Klein tells Calvin that he can't leave, as he's working for a salary, which Calvin thinks is pretty rough. Calvin then changes his plan to one to get himself out, and gets Klein on board in exchange for gum.
Calvin doesn't try to escape the next day, as he's confident about his plan. He gets to the band room early, and confirms that Klein has the plan ready. Calvin is to push the button under his chair when he sees Klein's signal. When the band class comes in, Klein tells the kazoo players to come forward. When it turns out that the kazoos were all sabotaged, he asks the trumpet players to come forward. When they do, Klein gives the signal (a slightly raised eyebrow), Calvin pushes the button, causing the room to fill up with smoke. He pauses to thank Klein before beginning Stage Two of the plan: Running screaming through the halls.
This stunt disqualifies Calvin from band class. Mom is angry, but Dad's elated, and he comes up to Calvin's room to congratulate him.
Tropes
- Ain't Too Proud to Beg: Dad begs Mom not to let Calvin go to band class.
- Chekhov's Gun: Calvin mentions working on voice-activation for the MTM. Making the MTM voice-activated, and giving him a voice of his own, ended up elevating the MTM to the status of regular character.
- Continuity Nod: Calvin references the two times he was signed up for Camp Pine.
- Everyone Has Standards: Dad may force Calvin to do a lot of things to build character, but band class is his limit.
- Fascinating Eyebrow: This gesture serves as the signal for Calvin to push the button and fill the room with smoke.
- Noodle Incident: Dad did not have good experiences with band class when he was young.
- Oh, Crap!: Dad when he realizes that Mom wants Calvin to go to band class.
- O.O.C. Is Serious Business: Dad is normally all for putting Calvin through activities he hates in the name of building character, making his negative reaction to letting Calvin do band practice all the more surprising.
- Sarcasm Mode: Calvin telling Mom how he feels about band class.
- Shout-Out: Calvin mentions the time he was signed up for swimming lessons, which happened in the original comic.
- Smoke Out: Calvin attempts to create an eraser dust cloud to pull this off. It doesn't work.
- Take That!: To kazoos.Calvin: "AAAA! THAT NOISE! IT'S LIKE A NAIL SCRAPING MY BRAIN!"Klein: "I'm judging that whoever invented this was working on a low budget."
