Title: The Search
Directed by: Noam Pitlik
Written by: Bob Colleary (story), Bob Colleary and Tony Sheehan (teleplay)
Air Date: September 21, 1978
Previous: Kidnapping
Next: Dog Days
Guest Starring: Bruce Kirby, Jenny O'Hara, Arny Freeman
"The Search" is the second episode of the fifth season of Barney Miller.
A Teresa Schnable comes into the squad room, reporting her father as a missing person. When Wojo asks how long he's been missing she says "28 years!". It turns out that Miss Schnable is an orphan who's been looking for her father. Further, she believes that she's found him, right there in Manhattan, but he refuses to see her. What she actually wants is for the NYPD to force her maybe-father to talk to her. Barney and Wojo explain that it isn't a police matter, and Miss Schnable leaves in tears. Soon she's back, however, under arrest after breaking into the spa where her "father" works. She's followed by the man in question, a Mr. Claymore (Bruce Kirby), who insists that he is not her father and demands a restraining order.
The second wacky case involves one Milton Holly, aka "Mr. Science", who hosts a kid's science show. Mr. Science was attempting an experiment on air when his young assistant started heckling him with comments like "If you're so smart, how come you're bald?" After Mr. Science snapped and told the boy he'd "put your can on a Bunsen burner", he chased the boy around the set and wrecked it.
Meanwhile, it's once again time for a detective from the 12th to go on mugging detail, disguised as a woman. This time it's Harris's turn. He gets a tailored dress and is all ready to go, when Barney reminds him that he must make the supreme sacrifice: shave his mustache.
Tropes:
- 555: Mr. Science's show airs on channel 37, which is reserved in North America for radio astrology, in order to not inconvenience New York's real-world TV stations (though the digital PSIP standard a virtual channel 37 would eventually be given to a station in the New York area in 2019).
- Actor Allusion: When Mr. Science bemoans the poor quality of children's television, Dietrich says the nature show "Vermin, Vermin, Vermin" is pretty good. This is a nod to Sunday morning kids's show Animals, Animals, Animals (1976-1981), which was hosted by Hal Linden.
- Attractive Bent-Gender: The gag at the end of the episode has Harris coming out after shaving his mustache and putting on a dress, and looking shockingly attractive as a woman. Harris defiantly tells Nick to go ahead with his "witty comment", only for an amazed Nick to gasp "You look lovely!"Harris: I wanted to look good, Barney...but not better.
- Captain Ersatz: Mr. Science is obviously a goof on Don "Mr. Wizard" Herbert.
- Continuity Nod: Three seasons before, in "Heat Wave", Wojo had to go Disguised in Drag for mugging detail, and Barney said that Harris would go last "in deference to his mustache." In this episode Harris has to shave his mustache and Wojciehowicz is highly amused to see it happen. Barney even mentions that Wojo had mugging duty "a couple of years ago."
- The Dandy: Harris is just as fussy about his clothes when he's Disguised in Drag. When asked why he bothered to have a dress altered, he says "I don't buy off the rack, Barney."
- Depraved Kids' Show Host: Milton Holly aka "Mr. Science", a kids' science show host who snapped and threatened a heckling child on his show before wrecking the set. He's bitter about how kids don't care about his show anymore and he's been reduced to a local cable show.
- Disguised in Drag: The detectives having to wear dresses for mugging detail was an occasional running gag. In this episode it's finally Harris's turn and he's not happy about having to shave his mustache.
- Immediate Self-Contradiction: Harris, pleading to keep his mustache, says "It's not a matter of vanity, Barney, it's just, well, it looks so damn good."
- I'm Your Biggest Fan: It turns out Wojo loved Mr. Science when he was a boy and watched until he joined the Marines. Mr. Science is gratified that someone still likes him.
- Mama's Baby, Papa's Maybe: The eventual reveal about poor Miss Schnable's parentage. Mr. Claymore admits that yes, he did have sex with her mother—she was a waitress near the hospital where he was a patient—but so did around a dozen other men during that time.
- A Rare Sentence: Wojo takes great pleasure in this trope. He smiles with glee as he says "Harris, I want to say something to you I'd never thought I'd say....Your dress is ready."
- Racial Face Blindness: Alluded to with Yemana. When Mr. Claymore points to his "daughter" and says "Do we look alike to you?", Yemana shrugs and says "I'm the wrong person to ask."
- White-Dwarf Starlet: One of the reasons that Mr. Science is bitter about life is that he used to have a network show but has been demoted to local NYC programming.
