"You want to know the real definition of a conspiracy? One guy makes a mistake, and six guys clean it up."
— Speedy, A Girl and Her Fed
October 7th 2013
To: The Freemasons, the Illuminati, Scientology, FEMA, the New World Order, the Federal Reserve, Citigroup, Halliburton, Google, the Vatican, Bilderburg, Walmart, the Rothschilds, the Knights Templar, HAARP, the UN, Skull & Bones, Bohemian Grove, the Koch Brothers, George Soros, the Trilateral Commision, the Knights of Malta, the CFR, Exxon Mobil, the Zionists, the Vril Society, the Lizard People, and everyone else who secretly controls the US government
Can you please get your shit together?
This is embarrassing.
Sincerely,
A Concerned Citizen
To: The Freemasons, the Illuminati, Scientology, FEMA, the New World Order, the Federal Reserve, Citigroup, Halliburton, Google, the Vatican, Bilderburg, Walmart, the Rothschilds, the Knights Templar, HAARP, the UN, Skull & Bones, Bohemian Grove, the Koch Brothers, George Soros, the Trilateral Commision, the Knights of Malta, the CFR, Exxon Mobil, the Zionists, the Vril Society, the Lizard People, and everyone else who secretly controls the US government
Can you please get your shit together?
This is embarrassing.
Sincerely,
A Concerned Citizen
— xkcd #1274, "Open Letter"
(after the US government shutdown)
(after the US government shutdown)"What can I say? How can I disprove lies that are stamped with an official seal? ... You can deny all the things I've seen, all the things I've discovered, but not for much longer. Because too many others know what's happening out there. And no one — no government agency — has jurisdiction over the truth."
— Special Agent Fox Mulder, The X-Files
Jack Ryan: Who authorized this?
Bob Ritter: I'm sure they'll ask you that.
Bob Ritter: I'm sure they'll ask you that.
Prime Tangent Breya: Let me guess...and I'm going to go with irony here...they kept it a secret "in order to save lives."
Dr. Bunnigus: Correct. Also, they deployed it so that they could kill people.
Dr. Bunnigus: Correct. Also, they deployed it so that they could kill people.
"The last episode of The Blacklist was hilarious. Red describes an international cabal - comprised of people in government and the private sector - who run the world behind the scenes, start wars, control the media, kill to protect their power, etc. It's supposed to be so edgy. Dark, terrifying conspiracy...Once informed about it, the Washington Post runs a front page story telling everyone of the breaking news. SHOCK NEW REVELATION: SMALL NUMBER OF POWERFUL PEOPLE ARE POWERFUL AND GET UP TO STUFF FURTHERING THEIR OWN POWER WITHOUT TELLING US! The evil director of the CIA looks at the paper in horror, thinking 'oh no, now everyone knows!'"
"I could've spent years trying to find out if somebody set us up. And if I found him... well, it most likely would be someone I couldn't get to anyway."
— John T. Booker, Good Guys Wear Black (1978).
Queen Moon: We thought you might be hiding something. And it turns out we were right!
Star: You lied to our family for generations!
Hekapoo: We had to!
Omnitraxus Prime: Can you imagine if the power of magic fell into the hands of a monster?!
Star: You let us live a lie! We shouldn't even have the throne! Eclipse isn't even... Wait. (turns to Eclipsa) You aren't actually my great-great-great...great-something grandma.
Eclipsa: (sadly) No, sweetie, I'm not.
—Star vs. the Forces of Evil, "Butterfly Trap"
"S.H.I.E.L.D. is not what we thought it was. It's been taken over by HYDRA. Alexander Pierce is their leader. The S.T.R.I.K.E. and Insight crew are HYDRA as well. I don't know how many more, but I know they're in the building. They could be standing right next to you. They almost have what they want. Absolute control. They shot Nick Fury. And it won't end there. If you launch those helicarriers today, HYDRA will be able to kill anyone that stands in their way. Unless we stop them."
"HYDRA was founded on the belief that humanity could not be trusted with its own freedom. What we did not realize was that if you tried to take that freedom, they resist. The war taught us much. Humanity needed to surrender its freedom willingly. After the war, S.H.I.E.L.D. was founded, and I was recruited. The new HYDRA grew, a beautiful parasite inside S.H.I.E.L.D. For 70 years, HYDRA has been secretly feeding crises, reaping war. And when history did not cooperate, history was changed."
—Arnim Zola, Captain America: The Winter Soldier
"Our story begins, as these stories often do, with a young up-and-coming politician. He's a deeply religious man and a member of the conservative party. He is completely single-minded convictions and has no regard for the political process. Eventually, his party launches a special project in the name of 'national security'. At first, it is believed to be a search for biological weapons and it is pursued regardless of its cost. However, the true goal of the project is power, complete and total hegemonic domination. The project, however, ends violently... but the efforts of those involved are not in vain, for a new ability to wage war is born from the blood of one of their victims. Imagine a virus - the most terrifying virus you can, and then imagine that you and you alone have the cure. But if your ultimate goal is power, how best to use such a weapon? It is at this point in our story that along comes a spider. He is a man seemingly without a conscience; for whom the ends always justify the means and it is he who suggests that their target should not be an enemy of the country but rather the country itself. Three targets are chosen to maximize the effect of the attack: a school, a tube station, and a water-treatment plant. Several hundred die within the first few weeks. Until at last the true goal comes into view. Before the St. Mary's crisis, no one would have predicted the outcome of the elections. No one. But after the election, lo and behold, a miracle. Some believed that it was the work of God himself, but it was a pharmaceutical company controlled by certain party members made them all obscenely rich. But the true genius of the plan was the fear. A year later, several extremists are tried, found guilty, and executed while a memorial is built to canonize their victims. Fear became the ultimate tool of this government. And through it our politician was ultimately appointed to the newly created position of High Chancellor. The rest, as they say, is history."
—V, V for Vendetta
I guess it shouldn't be surprising that the government took drastic measures, but I still can't believe so many countries agreed on it so fast. There were a lot of people still up top when it happened, but they told us everyone left was already a host, and that cure was impossible. I don't believe that — either part of it. If they'd put as much effort into finding a cure as into preparing the shelters and the "extermination" plan... Of course, the shelters were ready pretty fast. Suspiciously fast, some say.
— "Under the Skin — Post-Apocalypse", The End of the World: Zombie Apocalypse
"There's no war in Ba Sing Se."
—Dai Li Agent, Avatar: The Last Airbender, "City of Walls and Secrets"
