The Doctor: No! He's your dad! You can't just call him "Not Mum"!
Craig: Not Mum?!
The Doctor: That's you.
Alfie: [gurgles]
The Doctor: "Also Not Mum"; that's me. And everybody else is... [leans closer to Alfie]
Alfie: [babbles]
The Doctor: ..."Peasants". That's unfortunate.
Craig: Not Mum?!
The Doctor: That's you.
Alfie: [gurgles]
The Doctor: "Also Not Mum"; that's me. And everybody else is... [leans closer to Alfie]
Alfie: [babbles]
The Doctor: ..."Peasants". That's unfortunate.
— Doctor Who, "Closing Time"
The Doctor: (to Melody Pond) Really, you should call her "mummy", not "big milk thing".
Amy: Okay, what are you doing?
The Doctor: I speak baby.
Amy: No, you don't.
The Doctor: I speak everything.
Amy: Okay, what are you doing?
The Doctor: I speak baby.
Amy: No, you don't.
The Doctor: I speak everything.
— Doctor Who, "A Good Man Goes To War"
The Doctor: Your dad's trying his best, you know.
Stormageddon: (gurgles)
The Doctor: Yes, I know. It's not his fault he doesn't have mammary glands.
Stormageddon: (babbles)
The Doctor: No, neither do I!
Stormageddon: (gurgles)
The Doctor: Yes, I know. It's not his fault he doesn't have mammary glands.
Stormageddon: (babbles)
The Doctor: No, neither do I!
— Doctor Who, "Closing Time"
Dorothy: I know babies can't talk.
Rose: Yes, they can! It's just that they're only understood by other babies. And advanced civilizations far, far away.
Dorothy: Like where, Vero Beach?
Rose: Yes, they can! It's just that they're only understood by other babies. And advanced civilizations far, far away.
Dorothy: Like where, Vero Beach?
— The Golden Girls, "And Then There Was One"
Baby Kate: (watching a Rugrats parody next to her brother, sister, and their dog) I can't believe this show. It's so unrealistic. If my playpen were that easy to escape from, I'd be in Paris by now. And where are the parents?
Pal: I like the one with red hair. He looks like a chew toy.
Pal: I like the one with red hair. He looks like a chew toy.
— Arthur, "The Secret Life of Dogs and Babies"
Brian: I don't get it, Stewie. You've been talking forever. Why did everyone suddenly understand you now?
Stewie: I don't know. I was feeling so much intense emotion in the moment, and that one word somehow just burst through.
Brian: Yeah, but now what? Everyone can understand you?
Stewie: I don't think so. Not unless I'm yelling something I feel strongly about. (shouts) GRETA GERWIG IS A NATIONAL TREASURE! (nobody present responds) See? Nothing. I guess I'm not feeing it, I don't know. What if that's the only thing I'll be able to express? Anger! What kind of person would I be then?
Brian: Larry David, Lewis Black, a Trump voter, everyone on Twitter...
Stewie: But I don't want to be any of those things! They've got to hear me! (shouting) ICE CREAM! LOLLIPOP! BUBBLES! KITTY CAT! DOGGIE! RAINCOAT! PRESCHOOL! FIRETRUCK! GOLDFISH! FINGER PAINT!
(the Curb Your Enthusiasm theme starts to play as Stewie's words still go unheard)
—Family Guy, "Stewie's First Word"
