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Funny / Xenogears

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Funny moments in Xenogears.

  • "Today's launch was so-so."
  • When Miang is killed and Body Surfs to Elly, she takes Billy's gun and shoots Fei and explains a large amount of information concerning Deus. The only thing Billy can manage to say: "...She took my gun."
  • During the "Recapture Aveh" chapter, Citan, Bart, and Sigurd are ambushed at the royal palace, when Old Maison decides to bring in a Land Crab mech to save the day. Said mech then malfunctions as they decide to escape:
    Bart: See you again, Shakhan. Till then... go get your head waxed!
    Land Crab: *propellers start smoking then fly off without the body*
    Shakhan: Is this some kind of joke? Hmm, it seems sandworms can't fly after all.
  • A sidequest at Billy's orphanage involves collecting a bunch of comic books. A kid comes out of the bathroom and hands you one, saying that there wasn't any toilet paper and he used the comic instead. The item's description? Not so comical anymore
  • The whole "Bart Missile" incident. All of it.
    • And much later, Fei's reaction when he learns about it.
      Fei: Bart...?...You didn't... No, don't tell me you...
      Citan: It's true Fei.
      Bart: (defensively) Aw, come on! How was I supposed to know you were on that thing?
      Fei: ... I'm too disgusted to say anything.
    • Even moreso was after Rico realized it. His response was to beat the crap out of Bart.
  • Earlier, while Fei and Elly are stranded on the Goliath's wreckage, Elly laments that her and Fei's Gears are stuck inaccessibly under the wrecked and submerged Gear hangar. Fei, meanwhile, is jumping back-and-forth trying to catch a fish for dinner.
  • And before that, Citan and Hammer decide that the best way to shake Grahf off their tail (or wing, rather) is to hit the accelerator on the Goliath and let air resistance do its thing. It works. You have to be wondering what's going through Grahf's head once he realizes "the power" is apparently no match for the laws of physics.
  • The Captain of Thames.
    Captain: I am! A man! OF THE SEA!
    Everyone else: ...
  • Bart's entire Motor Mouth I Meant to Do That speech on activating Ft. Jasper.
    Bart: Don't worry! I've never fouled things up yet, have I? Well have I!? How 'bout... Ladies and gentlemen, behold! Tis that not Babel Tower ...over yonder? Well? Isn't it way coooool!? It floats from the Fatima Jasper... I call it Ft. Jasper, and you'll be able to see it from far off. I'me sure that last beam cannon could reach it! Well, I guess I wanted to show you all its greatness. Have you ever seen such a cannon? And don't mix it up with Vanderkaum's pea shooter. This is many times more powerful and many times more refined. After all, that's why my ancestors used it for generations to guard the treasure. Yeah, this is the real thing. And don't forget it. Now as I was saying, I haven't fouled up yet. So, let's go get this treasure and go home! But first, we have to open that door in the dome! I don't think the switch on this control panel will do it though. Over there!
    Fei: (Didn't you say you hit the wrong button earlier?)
  • A Running Gag in the game is this flamboyant man named Big Joe appears over and over again. As it turns out? He's one of the oldest characters in the game and is the only other survivor of the Zeboim people along with Emeralda. How old is he? 4036.
  • Near the end of the Kislev arc, Rico Banderas is accused of attempting to assassinate the Kaiser and set to be executed. Kislev, as it turns out, executes criminals by making them fight dinosaurs on foot.