Funny / The Magnificent Seven (2016)

• Although the prologue is Played for Drama, there is one hysterically funny bit where one of the townsfolk accuses the saloon keeper of speaking favorably about Bogue because the hooker business has been going up since the mine opened. The saloon keeper responds that the man shouldn't talk given that he was partaking of the girls' services just last week.
• Jack Horne's introduction involves a lot of ham and some rather brutal violence, leaving the gang rather nonplussed. Farraday manages to sum it up pretty well:
  I do believe that bear was wearing people's clothes.
  • Robicheaux's reaction isn't bad either
    The Pigeon brothers weren't famous for very long
• Red Harvest joining the posse. The act involved Chisolm having to take a bite out of a freshly killed deer liver. His appetite quickly leaves him after the deed is done.
  • For an extra howler, after Chissom goes back to the group telling them that he's had his breakfast, Red Harvest casually eats another bite of the liver. It seems like he actually enjoys the stuff.
    • A possible case of Shown Their Work, as actual Comanche did occasionally eat raw liver (usually flavored with gall).
• Bear-of-a-man Horne's response to the small-statured sheriff about the Seven saying their prayers before going up against the Pinkerton expies Bogue left in charge.
  I'll say a prayer for you, a little prayer.
  • Chisholm and Billy Rocks ride into town to confront Bogue's men, and when asked what Billy's story is Chisholm says that he is his manservant and that he's "harmless." For his part, Billy rolls with the manservant part but looks quite incensed at being called harmless.
• A few come up from the training sequences:
  • Billy tries to demonstrate the "ease" of knife fighting to the townsfolk...with an elaborate series of quick slashes. They all promptly turn around and walk away on him.
  • The rifle firing class.
  Faraday: Jee-zus wept!
  • After he goads Robicheaux into demonstrating his marksmanship skills it's fairly obvious from the look on his face that Faraday is furiously making mental notes not to give Goody such a hard time in the future.
• The night before the big showdown, right after Goodnight chooses to leave, Chisolm offers his posse one last chance to back out - they all stand firm in a tense moment of silence. Then we get this gem from Red Harvest of all people:
  Red Harvest: *Beat* ...I'm hungry.
  • Followed immediately by Horne's irritated reaction to the realization that Red Harvest could speak English the whole time.
    Horne: ...You can speak English?
    Red Harvest: (staring at the ground, grinning)
    Horne: (grumpily) You little shit!
    • The best part of that exchange: his insistence that Red Harvest come back and talk to him. He's killed plenty of Indian folk in his time, but Red Harvest is probably the first one he could actually have a conversation with.
• On the hunt for Vasquez, Chisolm and Cullen find him holed up in a shack... with a corpse.
  Vasquez: He doesn't snore too much.
• Goodnight and Vasquez realize that both their grandfathers fought at the Alamo.
  Vasquez: Maybe my grandfather killed your grandfather.
• When Faraday is trying to reclaim his horse and is reminded that he lost it in a dice game to a very short man with a strong Irish accent who resembles a leprechaun, he claims to have assumed he dreamed that bit.
• When they're counting how many are dead from the shootout after their arrival in Rose Creek, there's this bit:
  Faraday: I got six. [to Vasquez] What'd you get?
  Vasquez: Six.
  [Beat]
  Faraday: I got seven.
• As the Seven hang out at the saloon, a half-drunk Faraday starts talking about his guns, in a most...interesting manner:
  Faraday: Did I introduce you to my wife? (Draws his main gun) Her name is Ethel, and—I love her.
  Goody: Hello, Ethel. Charmed
  Faraday: And I consider her to be the love of my life! And she is—a no-bullshitter, she's...(aims) a straight-shooter...
  Horne: Alright, calm down now.... Put the gun away, son....
  Faraday: (Tone growing serious as he puts it away) Her name is Ethel...and you'll show her some goddamn respect.
  Horne: (Shrugs) Yeah.
  Faraday: (Draws OTHER gun) It's Maria you can disrespect.
  (Guys burst out laughing)
  Faraday: (Putting gun away) Don't tell Ethel about Maria. (Wheezes out a laugh)
  Vasquez: Wait-wait-wait. My Maria, cabron^note  Spanish for "asshole"? Hmm?
  Faraday: ...You have a Maria?
  (Beat)
  Vasquez: I HAVE THREE MARIAS! (GUFFAWS)
• Vasquez mercilessly teasing Horne about the townswoman who patched up his clothes, and who seems to have a bit of a shine for him.
  Vasquez: She did a lot of poking and stitching for you. Maybe you should return the favor, eh?
• Billy and Goody up in the church tower, under fire from the Gatling gun.
  Goody: This reminds me of what my daddy used to say.
  Billy: What's that, Goody?
  Goody, looking pensive: ...
  Billy: What?
  Goody: Well, my daddy used to say a lot of things, you know.
  Both: [laughing hysterically]
• During the planning to defend the town, we get this conversation:
  Faraday: And if [Bogue] just shoots you in the head?
  Chisolm: Then just shoot him in the head. Hell, I don't know. Avenge me.
• Faraday's incredulous reaction to Billy's duel victory.
  Goodnight: There I was, serving a warrant on Billy...
  Faraday: For what, killing a man with a hairpin?
  • "That is funny."

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