Funny / The Goon Show

• It's damn difficult to pick a single moment out of The Goon Show's surreality - the series was consistently funny, but "What time is it Eccles?" would be up there.
• With this one right behind:
  Bluebottle: Oh, a cocktail. Good health. [Gulps]
  (FX: Huge rumbling explosion - the kind where you hear bricks & bits of timber falling in the distance)
  Bluebottle: You rotten swine! You have nearly deaded me - look, my kneecaps have dropped four inches. Who made that cocktail?
  Gravely Headstone: Molotov.
• I has taken a look at da quotes here an I tink I likes dem.
• Meta-example: Spike Milligan at the 1994 British Comedy Awards, at the age of seventy-six, after being given his lifetime achievement award ("It's about bloody time.").
  Jonathan Ross: I have a letter to read out to you from His Royal Highness the Prince of Wales.
  Spike Milligan: Do I kneel down for this?
  Jonathan Ross: "As someone who grew up to the sounds of The Goon Show on the steam-driven wireless, I must confess that I've been a lifelong fan of the participants in the show and particularly of Spike Milligan..."
  Spike Milligan: Oh, the little grovelling bastard.^note They were friends in real life. Spike later sent a fax to Prince Charles saying "I suppose a knighthood is out of the question?" It wasn't; he received one seven years later (although it was an honorary KBE, as Spike was an Irish citizen).
• In "The String Robberies":
  • We are primed to expect an appearance by Eccles—
    [Knocking at a door]
    Bloodnok: Who is that there, who is it? Only a lunatic would be out in such a storm!
  • — but instead of just one Eccles, we get a whole chorus of them, all singing "Good King Wenceslas" with great feeling.
    Bloodnok: You crazy, mixed-up Eccleses, you! Christmas has gone!
    Eccles: Oh? Which way did it go?
    Bloodnok: It's finished!
    Eccles: Finished? Oh, I'd better talk with my friends here.
    [sound of group murmuring and muttering to themselves]
    Eccles: Penny for the guy?
    [sound of door slamming]
• For a while, there was a great Running Gag in which Eccles made his first appearance in each episode singing a Paint Your Wagon song with... unusual lyrics:
  • "I talk to the trees/That's why they put me away..." ^note in "Rommel's Treasure"
    • Eddie Braben of Morecambe and Wise claims this was a suggestion he sent in in a fan letter and was never credited for.
  • "With a smile on my face/For the whole human race/It's almost like being insane!" ^note in "The Great Regency Park Swim"
  • Ram bam ra-da-ba-bum bam ba-da ba bum da ba-da de dum-dum, pa-ram bam ra-da-ba-bum bam ba-da ba bum da ba-da de dum-dum-dum-dum... bam-de-dam... bam... dun. (several seconds of silence) (starts all over again before finally being interrupted by another character) ^note in "The Sahara Desert Statue"
• "The Siege of Fort Night":
  Eccles: Will I have to walk all the way?
  Seagoon: Of course not! Part of the way, you'll be allowed to run!
• "What's My Line": After Seagoon has performed a song that is rendered as a repeated thudding sound:
  Grytpype: The lad has the gift of melody! ...Tell me, what was it?
  (Beat)
  Thud, Thud, Thud...
• In a classic Overly Long Gag, Crun asks Neddie for his name and address. The result can be read in its entirety in the Quotes section.
• From "The Case of the Missing CD Plates", the sound effect of the steamroller hitting Neddie Seagoon and his nickel-plated bagpipes is the leitmotif of "The Treasure of Loch Lommond" slowing to a stop.
  • The Running Gag, a repeated Cutaway Gag that builds up to one hell of a Bait-and-Switch:
  Meanwhile, in a notorious fish shop in Baryschool, in Yoshiwara:
  (Nearly fifteen seconds of silence)
  ...by Jove, I do believe they're closed.
• Ad-libs and mistakes are always good for a laugh.
  • "The White Neddie Trade" was particularly rife with them:
  Seagoon: Are you suggesting—
  Minnie: (makes a high-pitched noise in the background)
  Seagoon: You are suggesting—
  Henry: She's jumped out of the window.
  Seagoon: (holding back laughter) Are you suggesting I expose my intimate garments to the foul gaze of hot-blooded Latins?!
  Throat: (moans sexually)
  (a short while later)
  Henry: Then we must get them out, right away! With speed, buddy!
  Minnie: With speed! We mustn't waste any time!
  (Henry and Minnie improvise a ten second song about not wasting time)
  Minnie: Come on, we must hurry, Henry... (slightly off-mic) We've filled in time like the producer asked...
  (another short while later)
  Seagoon: Where are those bagpipes? I felt in the next tunnel...
  Eccles: Ow! Oy, here! You naughty man you!
  Seagoon: I should've said kennel, shouldn't I? Nevermind. What are you doing in this kennel?!
  Eccles: What am I doing in this tunnel?
  • Another two almost back-to-back in "The Great String Robberies":
  Mr. Lalkaka: I'll tell you what I've got, I've got a revolutionary-type dark room.
  Mr. Banerjee: What have you got?
  Mr. Lalkaka: No light in it. (beat, slight audience laugh) I meant to say it's got a light in it, but I killed the joke by saying 'no light in it'.
  (thirty seconds later)
  Seagoon: Look! The number of the house is 66 Fairycake Lane!
  Bloodnok: (trying desperately not to laugh) That's been changed!
  • And in "The Great Spon Plague":
  Henry: Min? Min modern Min? (imitating Jim Spriggs) Min modern Miiiiiin?
  Minnie: What is it, cocky?
  Henry: What have you put on the roof?
  (Beat)
  Minnie: Um, can you say that line again, because I can't answer the next one...
  Henry: Uh... "Where..." Oh, yes...
  Minnie: (deliberately) What is it, cocky?
  Henry: Where have you put the roof?
  Minnie: I sent it to the menders, it was leaking, cocky!
  • From the end of "The Junk Affair", Peter Sellers demonstrates the problem with Acting for Two in a live recording:
  Grytpype-Thynne: Thinks: It can't last forever.
  Moriarty: No, but we've got to make the most of it while we can!
  Grytpype-Thynne: Yes! Now then nice man—
  Moriarty: Wrong voice!
  Sellers and Secombe: (both crack up)
  Bluebottle: (slightly more forced than usual) Now then nice man! We want to buy that piece of junk in the window!

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