Funny / Splinter Cell: Chaos Theory

• Sam's interrogation techniques are often funnier than they have any right to be. Same thing with his victims.
  Guard: Wow! A real... live... ninja!
• There's a bonus objective where you have to upload spyware to some computers so Grim can get dirt on the enemy.
  Grim: Thanks Sam, I can't wait to sniff around in Displace's laundry basket.
  Sam: Ugh...
  Grim: What?
  Sam: Laundry... I totally forgot...
• During the bank heist, Fisher uncovers documents revealing Abrahim Zherkezki's involvement in the unfolding conspiracy, leading to this gem:
  Lambert: Oh no, Zherkezhi. That's precisely what I didn't want to see.
  Sam: "Zherkezhi", is that some kind of dried meat?
• Sam's encounter with the old man next door to Zherkezhi's penthouse is nothing short of awkwardly amusing given the man's senile chatter and jovial manner. It's very much an odd exchange between them, even more so than many of the others listed on this page. The real topper is when you find out that your mystery man "Dvorak" isn't even a man, but the massive computer entrusted to the old man in question.
• Most of the interactions between Grim and Sam that poke fun at the gulf in their ages. Case in point:
  Sam: Lasers? Lasers are so...
  Grimm: Nineties?
  Sam: I was going to say 'Seventies'. Could you please stop making me feel old?
  Grimm I have bad news for you, Sam. You are old.
  • Sam gets more expense at his age when he realizes that he has to stop a missile from hitting the USS Ronald Reagan.
  Sam: Wait- you mean I have to win one for the Gipper?
  Grimm: Dude, what does that even mean?!
  Sam: Uhh.. It's nothing. You're right, Grimm - I am old.
• Some of the guards have some very odd conversations. In North Korea for instance:
  Soldier #1: You said there were eight crates in the delivery, but I only see seven.
  Soldier #2: What you do you mean 'seven'?
  Soldier #1: As in one less than eight.
  Soldier #2: Well, the bill of lading said there were eight.
  Soldier #1: Did you count?
  Soldier #2: Uh, well...not exactly...
  Soldier #1: Not exactly? It's just not that hard to count eight giant crates!
• Sometimes, if Sam misses a tripwire and triggers an alert, his reaction will be a deadpan "Oops."
• Sam discovering that Lacerda has fled Peru by ship leads to this little gem of dialogue with Grim.
  Grim: The Maria Narcissa.
  Sam: Sounds like you're setting me up for another blind date.
  Grim: The Maria Narcissa is a boat.
  Sam : So was the last girl you set me up with.
  Grim: Fisher!
  Sam: Sorry.

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