- When Sam spies the two kids who ultimately tell everyone on Sesame Street where Big Bird is, he barks at them like a guard dog to send them running.Sam: Hey kids! Get away from the talent! Go on! Git! Scram! WOOF! WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF-WOOF! Ha ha ha ha ha!
- Cookie Monster's insatiable appetite ends up turning Gordon and Susan's beautiful yellow Volkswagen Beetle into The Alleged Car by the end of the film.Gordon: Cookie, will you stop eating the hubcap?
Cookie Monster: Taste delicious, me so hungry.
Olivia: But Cook, we haven't even started on our trip yet.
Cookie Monster: That's okay. Me eat three other hubcaps later.
Gordon: Cookie!- Later on:
Gordon: Cookie, if you wanna eat, go eat Olivia's luggage!
Cookie Monster: Okay.
Olivia: Gordon!
(Gordon just shrugs)- At the end, when what's left of the Beetle pulls into Sesame Street:
Susan: What happened to the car?
Gordon: Don't ask me! (points at Cookie) Ask him!
Cookie Monster: Hi. (burps) Excuse me.
Susan: Our insurance man is not gonna believe this. - Kermit's joke: "Why did the chicken not cross the road? Because it's chicken, get it?"
- Cookie Monster's good-bye.Cookie Monster: Don't forget to eat!
Big Bird: I won't, Cookie Monster.- Grover's good-bye is arguably even funnier.
Grover: Don't forget to breathe! In and out!Big Bird: (without a trace of sarcasm) I always do, Grover! - The Sleaze brothers looking for Big Bird, currently disguised as a haystack.Sid: Hey look. A haystack.
(Sam looks at the walking haystack; a disguised Big Bird hiding from Miss Finch)
Sam: We're not looking for haystacks, you chowderhead. Keep your eyes peeled. Big Bird's gotta be around here somewhere. - Super Grover, exhausted from his continous flying, falls into Gordon's VW Beetle, thinking he's found Big Bird.Super Grover: (while his cape covers his eyes) Big Bird! Big Bird! I found you! Big Bird! Big— (Olivia removes the cape) This is not Big Bird. You are imposters.
Gordon: Grover.
Olivia: Grover?
Super Grover: Super Grover, please. When's lunch? Hahaha. - When the Sleaze Brothers have spotted Big Bird.Sam: Big yellow bird at 1 o'clock.
Sid: Is it that late already?
Sam: Its Air Force talk, you nerf!- They then try and fail to catch Big Bird with a gigantic butterfly net.note
Sam: I can't believe it. He's gone. (to Sid) HOW COULD YOU MISS HIM? HE'S 8 FEET TALL!!
Sid: YOU WERE GOING TOO FAST!!
Sam: Sid, don't shout at me.
Sid: You were going too fast.
Sam: We don't get mad, we just start all over. NOW LET'S GET GOING!! - When the Sleaze Brothers finally capture Big Bird, by way of the bird himself asking them politely if they can help him out.Big Bird: There's a lady named Miss Finch who's chasing me, and I was wondering, do you mind if I hide in your fun fair?
Sam: Why no. Not at all. We have the perfect place for you to hide. Right here: in our "hiding cage."
(cut to the brothers lock him in)
Sam: You'll be safe here.
Sid: Yeah, real safe.
Big Bird: Gee, thanks!
(the brothers laugh)- Later, when Big Bird finally realizes the brothers' true colors as the pair play cards.
- The Sleaze brothers getting pulled over by John Candy's state trooper:Sam: What seems to be the problem, officer? What's the charge?
Trooper: (flipping through his notebook) What about counterfeiting, extortion, fraud, impersonating a dentist, stealing an apple from a kid?note
Sam: Oh, about that apple, officer, I can explain that. We was just holding it for a friend.
Sid: Yeah, for a friend.
State Trooper: You can tell that... to the judge.
Sid: (crying like a baby) The judge!
State Trooper: Be a man!
Sid: But I don't wanna be a man!
Sam: SHUT UP, SID! SHUT UP!
Sid: (still crying) Judge, Sam... jail... - Bert and Ernie hide in the Sleaze Brothers' ferris wheel, scouring the fair with binoculars while looking for Big Bird:Bert: What do you see, Ernie?
Ernie: Your nose, Bert. - One the film's more self-aware jokes has Gordon trying to get Big Bird to jump into the Beetle, complete with Gordon’s exasperated faces when Big Bird gives him a hard time:Big Bird: I'm not supposed to do this! Why, you should never jump from a moving truck! Why... I shouldn't even be standing up!
Gordon: You have my permission! Just this once. NOW, COME ON!- Earlier:
Big Bird: Gordon, look, the doors are open!
Gordon: I know, now—now, come on!
Big Bird: Come on? Gordon, you know I can't fly.
(inside the truck)
Sid: I got an idea! What if we built a big high tower, and we have him jump into a pool of water?
(outside)
Big Bird: Jump?!
(inside)
Sam: Nah! He's a chicken.- Sid's other idea for Big Bird:
Sid: Hula hoop!
Sam: (hits Sid with his hat) NO! - The Don't Drop Inn, a Grouch diner, stands out as one of the most hilarious parts of the entire movie.
- The menu consists of barely-edible food combinations such as candied clams with French dressing, and cream of garlic soup with maraschino cherries.Maria: There's nothing here I can eat!
- As it turns out, there is one item on that menu that doesn't involve unspeakably revolting ingredient combos: the tossed salad. Maria and Oscar decide to order two of those, and promptly find out that the salad is literally tossed at customers with a catapult, resulting in a Food Fight.Telly: (having decided to skip the Grouch meal and wait in the car with the Honker accompanying the group) Gee, maybe we made a mistake, that salad looks great!
- One grouch customer ordered a "medium-rare Jell-O", and is frustrated at having gotten it well-done instead. Throughout the scene, he can be heard complaining about it, all the way until the end, where he's screaming in anger.Grouch: WHEREEEE'S MYYYYYY JELLLLL-OOOOOOOO?!
- The menu consists of barely-edible food combinations such as candied clams with French dressing, and cream of garlic soup with maraschino cherries.
- Oscar's response to Bob asking if there are any questions about the Street's residents' plans to find Big Bird:Oscar: What is the capital of South Dakota?
Bob: Oscar, if you don't want to go on this trip, you don't have to.
Oscar: Are you kidding? I love wild goose chases! (puts on his driving cap) Let's go get lost. - Bert and Ernie actually find Big Bird about halfway through the movie, but Ernie's goofiness kicks in as he starts singing "Upside-Down World". When it's finished, he, of course, manages to blame Bert for the near-miss.Bert: Ernie, do something to get his attention.
Ernie: Okay! Hang on, Bert! (pulls the plane into a full-speed descent)
Bert: AAAAAAHHHH! ERNIEEEEEEEEE!- Making the scene even funnier is that it's a full-force parody of North By Northwest, right down to the pesticide cloud.
Bert: AH! MY BOTTLECAP COLLECTION!
Big Bird: (after said bottlecaps land on him while he's hiding in a cornfield) A hailstorm? - Just about ANY scene with the Dodos, especially their final scene, where they run back inside their house after Kermit tells them they are on TV.Kermit: Well, there you have it, ladies and gentlemen: The Dodos. (looks back at them) And, uh...they certainly are.
Count: (watching the news) One green froggy!- Bert and Ernie's reaction to the Dodos, as if thinking "Big Bird left us for them?".
- Sid crying to Big Bird's "I'm So Blue" song is both funny and touching.
- Big Bird tries to convince a skeptical turkey truck driver to give him a lift by telling him "my friend Oscar always says that I'm a big turkey." The driver silently gives this more consideration than it's probably worth, before deciding that he really can't argue with it.
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