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Funny / Murder by Death

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  • The last lines.
    Willie Wang: Pop, was there a murder?
    Sydney Wang: Yes. Killed good weekend! Dlive, please.
  • There's a bomb in Sam and Tess' room:
    Sam Diamond: I've got an idea! I don't know if it will work but I've got to try. Turn around!
    Tess Skeffington: I've turned, Sam.
    Sam Diamond: Whatever you do, don't turn around until I say so.
    Tess Skeffington: (turns around) But Sam...
    Sam Diamond: I said turn around!
    Tess Skeffington: Yes, Sam.
    Sam Diamond: Good! Cause I think... I'm gonna cry. (blubbering) OhgodI'mtooyoungtodie...
    • Sam and Tess in general are brilliant. The moment he introduces her, he mentions she's wearing a rented dress. He calls her "angel" when he needs her validation, but scoffs her off brutally when she approaches him. Their dialogue is brilliant, and both Eileen Brennan and Peter Falk deliver flawlessly.
      Sam: Why don't you fall in love with the Jap kid, and get off my back?

      Tess: I'm scared! Hold me, Sam!
      Sam: Hold yourself, I'm busy.
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  • "I'm not a Frenchie, I'm a BELGIE!"
  • Absolutely everything said between the Wang father and son.
    Willy Wang: Why do I do all the dirty work, Pop?
    Sidney Wang: 'Cause your mother not here to do it.
  • Wang's attempt at a Sherlock Scan of Dick and Dora Charleston. "And you, Mr. Charleston, not approve of Mrs. Charleston dying her hair blonde?" When asked what made him think that, he replies. "Mrs. Charleston hair red. And you have blonde hair on jacket. So either Mrs. Charleston dyed hair blonde, then back to red again, or else you have sorry. Wang is wrong."
  • There have been some odd events involving the butler's corpse.
    Dora Charleston: I don't understand. Why would anybody want to steal a dead, naked body?
    Dick Charleston: Well, dear, there are people who, um... [whispers in Dora's ear]
    Dora Charleston: Oh, that's tacky! That's REALLY tacky!
    • What really tips it into hilarity is that Dora says that last line in an amused tone, rather than the revulsion you'd expect.
    • There's also her amusement at Jessica Marbles using the word "ca-ca" as if it's a curse, saying "I like her, I really do."
  • Sam randomly asking Dick Charleston if he's ever slept with a big waitress and then asking if he ever wants to. Which gets funnier later when it turns out Sam is being blackmailed over pictures of him in drag...
    • What makes the waitress joke even funnier is how it comes out of absolutely nowhere, confusing Dick. And when Sam's done, he turns around and mutters "I don't know about this guy."
    • The reveal that Twain picked up Sam in a gay bar.
      Sam Diamond: I was working undercover!
      Tess Skeffington: Every night for six months, Sam?!
    • Also, Sam mentioning to Tess that he used to date a French woman in the 1940s who supposedly had something to do with the Germans invading during World War II simply because she left to get a bottle of wine.
  • Lionel Twain's increasing frustration with Sidney Wang's You No Take Candle speech patterns.
    Lionel Twain: Say your GODDAMN PRONOUNS!
  • During the attempt on Miss Marbles and her nurse:
    Miss Marbles: I smell gas!
    The Nurse: I'm sorry, I'm old.
    Miss Marbles: "Not that kind, the kind that kills!
    The Nurse: "Well, sometimes my gas...
    Miss Marbles: "It's poison!"
    The Nurse: "It doesn't smell that bad to me..."

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