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Funny / Mammoth City Messengers

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Radio Series

  • Vitually all of Coach Wilbur's lines.
    • His "pep talk", especially this part:
    Coach Wilbur: Who's with me, guys, come on!
    Coach Wilbur: All right, guys, come on, who's with me!
    Coach Wilbur: Okay, if we win there's pizza. How 'bout that?
  • Taylor's behavior during the Eco Kids club meeting.
    Taylor: This meeting of the Mammoth City chapter of the Eco Kids comes to order.
    Jill: Taylor, I don't think you need to—
    Taylor: [interrupting her] You can't speak until the chair recognizes you.
    Jill: I'm just saying that you're taking this a little too seriously.
    Jill: But you're being so dramatic.
    Taylor: No, I just care about saving the world! [beat] [to herself] Okay maybe that was a little dramatic...
    • The fact that she still gets Squire's name wrong during roll call even after he corrects her.
    Taylor: Squirrel Williams?
    Squire: It's not Squirrel, it's Squire!
    Taylor: Oh, sorry! [to herself while writing] Squirrel
    • Members of the Eco Kids are equipped with a badge, a whistle, and an entire recycling bucket.
  • The small talk between Deejay and Mason when he gets injured on the field and benched.
    Deejay: What's up, Mason?
    Mason: Hey!...Your name's...Deejay, right? You take care of the equipment for the team.
    Deejay: That's right.
    Deejay: Hasn't walked off yet.
    • It continues.
    Mason: your dad still the school principal?
    Deejay: Yeah. Is your dad still a fireman?
    Mason: Yep!...What is taking that doctor?
    • This interaction too:
    Mason: Hey, some of the guys are stopping in at the Pizza Bell. Wanna come with?
    Deejay: No, I gotta work on my scratches.
    Mason: What? Somebody scratched you?
    Deejay: No, man, I'm talking about spinnin' turntables, you know, like a DJ.
    Mason: Oh... [beat] OHHH, oh...
  • Pretty much any time Moss taunts Mason. It usually ends in Threat Backfire because Mason appears more annoyed than shaken.
    Moss: It'd be a shame if you got kicked in the head or something!
  • Taylor during the championship game in chapter eight.
    Taylor: [checking her watch] When is the game starting anyways?
    Tom: Uh, I dunno, Taylor. Why, do you have another one of your "save the whales" deals today?
    Taylor: [unamused] Very funny, Daddy.
    Tom: Well, do you?
    Taylor: ...Well yeah...
    • Also, Junior.
    Junior: Yeah. I need the #1. The Big Dog Combo.
    Concessions Lady: Whaddya want on your hot dog?
    Junior: The works.
    Concessions Lady: Onions?
    Junior: The works.
    Concessions Lady: Nacho cheese?
    Junior: The works! You see all the stuff on the table? I want everything that is not on the hot dog to be on the hot dog. All of it!
    Concessions Lady: Sure. Here's your Combo Mac. That'll be six bucks even.
    Junior: [counting his money] Four, five, six.
    Concessions Lady: Thanks. Next?
    Junior: HEY! You put pepper on this!
    Concessions Lady: [exasperated] You said the works?!
    Junior: I didn't say pepper. Do it over!
    Concessions Lady: Alright, I'll make another one.
    Junior: [muttering] Some people.

  • Any scene involving Artina Savant (who replaces Anna Ruiz as designer of the launch party after she was fired).

Mammoth City Messengers, Vol. 1

  • Taylor's introductory scene.
    Taylor: [carrying a plant sprout] It's going into sugar shock!
    Jill: They spilled soda on a plant. I think it'll live, Taylor.
  • This exchange:
    Assistant: [while fire alarm is going off] Boss, we pulled the fire alarm like you asked!
    Evel Beetle: I can hear that.
  • The kids' reactions to E. They don't sound too affected.
    E: You have been chosen for a special mission.
    Junior: Chosen? Man, I walked in here on my own two legs!
    Taylor: [to Mason] Hey, isn't that the janitor?
    Isabella: You've got to bring some color in here—this fluorescent lighting does nothing for your skin tone.
  • This one-liner from Deejay in scene eight:
    Deejay: Man, somebody cue the theme from The Twilight Zone.
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  • Junior's reaction to the computer lab.
    Junior: This is the computer lab?
    Deejay: Guys, I think we'd better keep a low profile.
    Junior: I just figured a lab would have test tubes or something.

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