Funny / Mammoth City Messengers

Radio Series

• Vitually all of Coach Wilbur's lines.
  • His "pep talk", especially this part:
  Coach Wilbur: Who's with me, guys, come on!
  [silence]
  Coach Wilbur: All right, guys, come on, who's with me!
  [silence]
  Coach Wilbur: Okay, if we win there's pizza. How 'bout that?
  [cheering]
• Taylor's behavior during the Eco Kids club meeting.
  Taylor: This meeting of the Mammoth City chapter of the Eco Kids comes to order.
  Jill: Taylor, I don't think you need to—
  Taylor: [interrupting her] You can't speak until the chair recognizes you.
  Jill: I'm just saying that you're taking this a little too seriously.
  Taylor: Wait. Until. The chair. Recognizes you.

  Jill: But you're being so dramatic.
  Taylor: No, I just care about saving the world! [Beat] [to herself] Okay maybe that was a little dramatic...
  • The fact that she still gets Squire's name wrong during roll call even after he corrects her.
  Taylor: Squirrel Williams?
  Squire: It's not Squirrel, it's Squire!
  Taylor: Oh, sorry! [to herself while writing] Squirrel Williams...here.
  • Members of the Eco Kids are equipped with a badge, a whistle, and an entire recycling bucket.
• The small talk between Deejay and Mason when he gets injured on the field and benched.
  Deejay: What's up, Mason?
  Mason: Hey!...Your name's...Deejay, right? You take care of the equipment for the team.
  Deejay: That's right.
  Mason: So...how's the equipment doing?
  Deejay: Hasn't walked off yet.
  • It continues.
  Mason: So...is your dad still the school principal?
  Deejay: Yeah. Is your dad still a fireman?
  Mason: Yep!...What is taking that doctor?
  • This interaction too:
  Mason: Hey, some of the guys are stopping in at the Pizza Bell. Wanna come with?
  Deejay: No, I gotta work on my scratches.
  Mason: What? Somebody scratched you?
  Deejay: No, man, I'm talking about spinnin' turntables, you know, like a DJ.
  Mason: Oh... [beat] OHHH, oh...
• Pretty much any time Moss taunts Mason. It usually ends in Threat Backfire because Mason appears more annoyed than shaken.
  Moss: It'd be a shame if you got kicked in the head or something!
• Taylor during the championship game in chapter eight.
  Taylor: [checking her watch] When is the game starting anyways?
  Tom: Uh, I dunno, Taylor. Why, do you have another one of your "save the whales" deals today?
  Taylor: [unamused] Very funny, Daddy.
  Tom: Well, do you?
  Taylor: ...Well yeah...
  • Also, Junior.
  Junior: Yeah. I need the #1. The Big Dog Combo.
  Concessions Lady: Whaddya want on your hot dog?
  Junior: The works.
  Concessions Lady: Onions?
  Junior: The works.
  Concessions Lady: Nacho cheese?
  Junior: The works! You see all the stuff on the table? I want everything that is not on the hot dog to be on the hot dog. All of it!
  Concessions Lady: Sure. Here's your Combo Mac. That'll be six bucks even.
  Junior: [counting his money] Four, five, six.
  Concessions Lady: Thanks. Next?
  Junior: HEY! You put pepper on this!
  Concessions Lady: [exasperated] You said the works?!
  Junior: I didn't say pepper. Do it over!
  Concessions Lady: Alright, I'll make another one.
  Junior: [muttering] Some people.

• Any scene involving Artina Savant (who replaces Anna Ruiz as designer of the launch party after she was fired).

Mammoth City Messengers, Vol. 1

• Taylor's introductory scene.
  Taylor: [carrying a plant sprout] It's going into sugar shock!
  Jill: They spilled soda on a plant. I think it'll live, Taylor.
• This exchange:
  Assistant: [while fire alarm is going off] Boss, we pulled the fire alarm like you asked!
  Evel Beetle: I can hear that.
• The kids' reactions to E. They don't sound too affected.
  E: You have been chosen for a special mission.
  Junior: Chosen? Man, I walked in here on my own two legs!
  Taylor: [to Mason] Hey, isn't that the janitor?
  Isabella: You've got to bring some color in here—this fluorescent lighting does nothing for your skin tone.
• This one-liner from Deejay in scene eight:
  Deejay: Man, somebody cue the theme from The Twilight Zone.
• Junior's reaction to the computer lab.
  Junior: This is the computer lab?
  Deejay: Guys, I think we'd better keep a low profile.
  Junior: I just figured a lab would have test tubes or something.