- Manson being greeted by an interviewer:Interviewer: Hi! I'm here to interview you.Manson: Hello. I'm...self-explanatory.
- Manson Adam Westing on Clone High, and singing a jaunty little ragtime number about the food pyramid. He clearly had too much fun doing this.
- Addressing popular rumors about him in his autobiography:Manson: If I really got my ribs removed, I would have been busy sucking my own dick on The Wonder Years instead of chasing Winnie Cooper. Besides, I wouldn't have sucked other people's dicks on stage, either. I would have been sucking my own. Plus, who really has time to be killing puppies when you can be sucking your own dick? I think I'm gonna call the surgeon in the morning.
- How he ended an interview on British program Popworld:Interviewer: We've got a new video now... do you want to see a new video?Manson: Is it mine?Interviewer: No.Manson: No.
- Manson freaking out David Letterman is always good for a laugh.Manson: I've got two kids now. They're not alive. Um, one's in a jar. Someone gave it to me for Christmas.Letterman: (befuddled) ...what are you talking about?!
- Taking a picture with Taylor Swift at the Wango Tango festival, if only for how utterly surreal it looks.
Funny / Marilyn Manson