Funny / MacGyver (1985)

• This one line between MacGyver and the episodes' damsel from the pilot episode. It stands out as the joke that works as the perfect Establishing Series Moment for this particular show.
  Barbara Spencer: Blow an opening. With what? Don't tell me you know how to make a bomb out of a stick of chewing gum?
  MacGyver: Why, you got some?
• The coach in "Legend of the Holy Rose". He turns Large Ham up to eleven: "Your department won't only be broke, it'll be ANNIHILATED!!!!"
• MacGyver and his guard in "Last Stand", mainly when the guard asks him about the item he's using to make his latest contraption work.
  MacGyver: Lateral... cranial... impact... enhancer. (he then smacks the guard across the head with said item)
• In "The Black Corsage", MacGyver and another man are saved from being processed on a conveyor belt by being shunted... into a container of fish. The man's response?
  "Oh no! Fish! I hate fish!"
• In a flashback episode, Mac had to break the news to Jack that his beloved cab had been blown to kingdom come:
  Jack: MacGyver, you're my buddy. Level with me. You got a scratch on it.
  MacGyver: Well, it's a little more than a scratch...
  Jack: A dent. Tell me it's a dent. I can live with a dent.
  MacGyver: It's not a dent. (sighs) Mr. Thornton and I were chasing this woman, who turned out to be an assassin, when the cab got blown up by a bazooka—
  Jack: Waitaminute, waitaminute. Back that up.
  MacGyver: Mr. Thornton and I —
  Jack: No not that far back. Someone blew up my cab?
  MacGyver: There were these two guys with bazookas —
  Jack: Bazookas?
  MacGyver: But I can explain.
  Jack: You can explain bazookas?
  MacGyver nods sheepishly
  Jack: (lunging out of his hospital bed) YOU CANNOT EXPLAIN BAZOOKAS!!!!
• In part one of "Good Knight MacGyver", after traveling into the past. Mac meets the famous magician Merlin. Who proceeds to examine the zipper on Mac's jacket. Merlin then declares in a suspicious tone, that the jacket is "dark magic".
  • After Arthur's knights have pointed their swords at him for the third or fourth time. MacGyver starts to get just a bit tired of the routine.
  MacGyver: (nonplussed, as blades are pointed at him) You guys don't mess around.
  • While working with Merlin's tools to try and prove the old magician's innocence, in the plot to poison Arthur. The older man is a bit, less than hopeful after Mac's explanation.
  Merlin: (scoffing) Dragon-grunge.
  MacGyver: (pauses for a Beat) Your gonna have to tell me what that means someday.
• Near the beginning of part two of "Good Knight MacGyver". In order to escape Morgana's pit trap. Mac orders Merlin to slide across first, as the old magician is doing so. Mac can't help but make a quip:
  MacGyver: Man! You could use a deodorant!
  Merlin: What?
  MacGyver: Never mind!
• One time when he's in the field, Pete's cover is blown. He points out to the Villain of the Week that he can't shoot him; the other men are witnesses. They draw on him too and point out that they're already witnesses—they don't have any other choice but to go along with it. Pete's Oh, Crap! face is hilarious.
• This absolutely hilarious example of The Tape Knew You Would Say That:
  Tape MacGyver: Hi, Pete. Listen, you might wanna sit down.
  Pete: [pauses for a second, then sits down].
  Tape MacGyver: Thanks. Listen, I had to help Jack out with a thing...
  Pete: [stands back up] You what?! You should know by now that Jack is nothing but trouble!
  Tape MacGyver: Listen and sit back down. I know you're gonna say that he's nothing but trouble, but...
• At one point, Mac is being confronted by an obnoxious bureaucrat, who refuses to get him the visas he needs to get sick kids out of Bangkok and into the States. Mac threatens to call various newspapers "and see what that does." The aghast bureaucrat snaps that Mac can't do that to him, it would get him a Congressional hearing.
  MacGyver: (in a tone of voice that somehow manages to be simultaneously utterly serious and totally deadpan) Oh, darn!
• Episode 7x01 has Mac, a CIA agent, an FBI agent, and another American undercover agent from the federal government...and because the latter three were all deep cover and the CIA agent roped in MacGyver, it's not until the very end of the episode that all of them learn that they're on the same side!