Funny / Joy in the Morning

• The entirety of the book, but especially the moment at which Bertie finds himself 'a gazelle short.'
  Bertie: You don't mind me referring to you as a gazelle, do you, Jeeves?
  Jeeves: Not at all, sir.
• "It is true of course, that I have a will of iron, but it can be switched off if the circumstances seem to demand it."
• "A hoarse shout from within and a small china ornament whizzing past my head informed me that my old friend was at home."
• Jeeves tells Bertie that Aunt Agatha is in London on her way to see her son Thomas, who has mumps. Bertie has this to say.
  His allusion was to [Aunt Agatha]'s son by her first marriage, one of our vilest citizens. Many good judges rank him even higher in England’s Rogues' Gallery than her stepson Edwin. I was rejoiced to learn that he had got mumps, and toyed for a moment with a hope that Aunt Agatha would catch them from him.
• Nobby explaining to Bertie why Uncle Percy disapproves of her engagement to Boko, which includes her comparing him to a butterfly. Bertie takes the metaphor and runs with it.
  If Uncle Percy really thought that Boko was a butterfly that might go broke at any moment, Love’s young dream had unquestionably stubbed its toe. I mean, an oofy butterfly is bad enough. But it can at least pay the rent. I could well imagine a man of conservative views recoiling from one which might come asking for handouts for the rest of its life.
  • During the same conversation, Nobby says she wants to marry Boko before he leaves for Hollywood.
  Nobby: I love Boko distractedly, but at the thought of him going to Hollywood without me I come over all faint. He wouldn’t mean to let me down. I don’t suppose he would even know he was doing it. But one morning I should get an apologetic cable saying that he couldn’t quite explain how it had happened, but that he had inadvertently got married last night, and had I anything to suggest.
• Edwin tries to help Bertie settle into the cottage where he'll be staying, and in the process sets the cottage on fire. And then he tries to put out the fire... with paraffin. (Note to American readers: You call it kerosene.)
• After the burning-the-cottage-down incident, Bertie says what he thinks about Edwin.
  There's a boy who makes you feel that what this country wants is somebody like King Herod.
• Bertie discovers that he's lost Aunt Agatha's brooch.
  ...I filled in the time by thinking of what Aunt Agatha was going to say. I did not look forward to getting in touch with her. In fact, it almost seemed as if another of my quick trips to America would be rendered necessary. About the only advantage of having an aunt like her is that it makes one travel, thus broadening the mind and enabling one to see new faces.
• Nobby says Stilton is "very impressionable".
  I agreed with her there. I had never forgotten the time at Oxford when somebody temporarily converted him to Buddhism. It led to a lot of unpleasantness with the authorities, I recall, he immediately starting to cut chapel and go and meditate beneath the nearest thing the neighbourhood could provide to a bo tree.
• Nobby and Bertie discuss how to get Florence and Stilton back together.
  Bertie: When chatting with Florence, therefore, boost Stilton in every possible way. Make her see what a prize she has got. And if you have any influence with him, endeavour to persuade him to chuck all this policeman nonsense and stand for Parliament, as she wants him to.
  Nobby: I'd love to see Stilton in Parliament.
  Bertie: So would I, if it means healing this rift.
  Nobby: Wouldn't he be a scream!
  Bertie: Not necessarily. There are bigger fatheads than Stilton among our legislators - dozens of them. They would probably shove him in the Cabinet.
• Nobby hears how Edwin burned down Bertie's cottage.
  Nobby speculated as to the chances of somebody some day murdering Edwin, and we agreed that the hour must eventually produce the man.
• Bertie's Uncle Percy meets him as he's about to smash a window. And then Stilton comes along.
  Uncle Percy: I try to enjoy a quiet stroll in my garden, and before I can so much as inhale a breath of air I find it crawling with nephews and policemen. I come out to be alone with Nature, and the first thing I know I can't move for the crowd. What is this place? Piccadilly Circus? Hampstead Heath on Bank Holiday? The spot chosen for the annual outing of the police force?
• Nobby and Boko have a quarrel. Bertie tries to comfort Boko afterward.
  Bertie: Life's all right.
  Boko: Not if you've lost the girl you love.
  Bertie: Have you lost the girl you love?
  Boko: That's what I'm trying to figure out. I can't make up my mind. It all depends what construction you place on the words "I never want to see or speak to you again in this world or the next, you miserable fathead."
• Florence, while complaining about Stilton, says he "turned on her like a tiger".
  ...I couldn’t help admiring Stilton for his intrepid courage. Circumstances had so arranged themselves as to extract most of the stuffing from what had been a closeish boyhood friendship, but I had to respect a man capable of turning on Florence like a tiger. I would hardly have thought Attila the Hun could have done it, even if at the peak of his form.
• Bertie and Nobby discuss how to arrange a meeting for Uncle Percy.
  Nobby: Perhaps Boko would have something to suggest.
  Bertie: I bet he would, and I bet it would be something which would land us so deeply in the soup that it would require a dredging outfit to get us out again.

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