- Alex's heroic quest to obtain a chicken burrito.
Admiral Shane: I'm late for lunch. I think I'll have a...chicken burrito.Alex: ...She told you about that?Admiral Shane: Come on, Hopper. We can discuss the terms of your surrender over a meal.
- Especially helped by The Pink Panther theme.
- Gets referred to the very end of the movie:
- Double the funny: it was based off of a real life botched liquor store robbery.
- Cal's reaction when he meets Samantha and Mick.
- Mr. Zapata's reaction when he is informed that there are inbound objects in formation.Zapata: Uh, Maybe we should call NASA.Alex: NASA have called us. They're on the phone right now. (screen cuts to a control room full of people, with a screen of Zapata behind them)Man at NASA: Good morning, Mr. Zapata.Zapata: NASA?
- Hopper's attempt to rehearse his speech to Admiral Shane in the mirror.Hopper: "It would be a thankful honor to have your permission to honor...your hand." *Beat* "What?"
- One of the John Paul Jones deckcrew freaks out when he hears that Hopper is now in command of the ship.Crewman: Are you kidding me? Hopper's running the ship? This is bullshit. We're all going to die!
- Most any conversation between Raika & Ordy, befitting their Those Two Guys role in the film.
- This little exchange during the reactivation of Missouri:Ordy: *runs into a control room and sees a USS North Carolina vet tweaking some controls*Veteran: Son.Ordy: *half confused* Sir?Veteran: *all but glares at him* What the hell, you gonna stand there, staring at me? Get yer goddamn eye on that spotter!Ordy: *promptly puts on a sound-powered phone headset* Eye on spotter, sir!
- The alien's ammunition consists of a round cylinder with a smaller round cylinder attached to it on one end that pushes in to detonate after sticking into an enemy ship small cylinder first. In short: They are metal pegs.
- The fact that they pause for an instant upon contact, then sink in, is particularly amusing: the pegs in the tabletop game didn't always fit perfectly into the holes on the model ships, needing a second tap to make them sink in all the way.
- Just after aligning the Missouri to fire on the mothership, we get this:Missouri Veteran Crewman: Let's drop some lead on this mother-Hopper: FIRE!
- After a completely epic attack on the flagship...Nagata: I can't believe that worked!Hopper: Yeah, Art of War, "Fight the enemy where they aren't." After all these years it finally just clicked.Nagata: But that's not what it means.Hopper: Really?Nagata: Not even close.
- The duo just before sniping.Hopper: Where did you learn to shoot?Nagata: I'm not sure how you say it in English. "Natsu Campu. Summer campu".Hopper: "Summer campu". *Thinks about it* Summer camp?Nagata: Champion, when I was twelve.Hopper: Are you kidding me? *Cue aliens*
- Alex and Stone giving completely opposite motivation speeches to their crews.
- Alex and Nagata get into a fight and are court martialed by Shane. Their explanation: Alex slipped, Nagata tried to catch him, and they both 'knocked their heads'. Shane is not amused.Nagata: Like the great Jerry Lewis, sir.
Funny / Battleship