Funny / All in the Family

• The end of the episode with Sammy Davis Jr.: He kisses Archie on the cheek, cueing a Heroic BSoD. The studio audience laughed for so long, actually setting a record, that the laughing had to be shortened for the broadcast version. Even his reaction is funny, where he's surprisingly unflappable about it. "What the hell, he said it was in his contract".
• In one episode, Archie finds himself locked in the basement. With nothing else to do, he drinks himself stupid and when a gasman comes to bust him out at the very end, he's so wasted, he thinks it's God coming to take him to Heaven. Then the gasman in question turns out to be... Black. When Archie lays eyes on him, he immediately drops to his knees and cries, "Forgive me, Lord!" as the audience roars. In an odd way, this also doubles as a Crowning Moment of Heartwarming. Even funnier is his followup comment, which closes the episode: "The Jeffersons was right!"
• Edith reads a Playgirl. The facial expressions alone are worth it!
• While going through menopause, Edith shouts "Dammit!" out of nowhere. Both the characters' and the audience's reactions are beautiful.
• Archie's views on Gun Control.
• Archie's... injection for hepatitis.
• Archie's well-meaning but incredibly awkward attempt to comfort a lady in the vet's office, who's crying and holding an obviously dead pet bird in a cage:
  Archie: Uh, 'scuse me, miss, I couldn't help noticing... Ya got a boid there, huh?
• "Edith's 50th Birthday" is rightly listed on the pages for Nightmare Fuel and Tearjerker, but there is one moment, at the beginning of the second episode of the two-parter, that does a lot to lighten the tension. Edith is shakily explaining what happened to Archie, who realizes that her attempted rapist must have been hiding in the house when he briefly came over to get a punch bowl. Edith explains that the rapist forced her to remain quiet, or he "would have done something to you." She means kill him (he had a gun), but Archie takes this in a totally different and hilarious way: "Done something to me? What, was he a fruit, too?"
• Archie and Mike had arguements with Edith and Gloria respectively and are forced to share a bed. Mike gets a glass of water and accidentally spills it in the bed. Archie doesn't think it's water:
  Archie (wearily exasperated): You got into this bed with me... to do this here...
  Mike: It was an accident!
  Archie: With little Joey, it's an accident. With you it's a dishonorable discharge.
• During the final season, Archie, Edith, and Stephanie visit Mike, Gloria, and Joey out in California for Christmas. When Archie asks little Joey if he remembers his grandfather, Joey smiles at Archie and gives a quick raspberry, to Archie's utter delight.
• "Cousin Maude's Visit" kicks the laughs into overdrive from the moment Bea Arthur's character first appears at the front door. Little wonder the character would be given her own series shortly afterward. One of the funniest moments is at the end of the episode, when Edith realizes she has the flu and Archie panics, wondering who's going to run the household...
  Maude (tapping Archie on the shoulder): MAUDIE'S HERE!!!
• One early episode had Mike claim that Archie belches exactly 22 seconds after drinking Alka-Seltzer, to the point that you can set a watch to it. Later on, Archie drinks a glass during a conversation with Mike; while Archie prattles on, Mike starts quietly counting to 22, and as soon as he reaches 22, Archie lets out a good sized belch.
• The very first time we hear the toilet flush on the show... prior to this, it had NEVER been done on TV. The audience reaction says it all.
• Although "Archie is Branded" is remembered mostly for its shocking final scene, it still finds time for laughs. The Bunkers and Stivics get up one Sunday morning to find a swastika painted on the door, accompanied by a note vowing that the "branding" is just the beginning. Gloria immediately worries that the next step will be a bomb, but Archie dismisses the idea. Munson, who has stopped by to drop off his taxi for Archie to drive that evening, is not convinced and orders him to take the night off; during their conversation, Archie tries to get rid of Edith by telling her he thinks the cake she is baking for the Jeffersons' anniversary is burning. Soon afterward, a special delivery package arrives for Archie, but as the main quartet gather around it, they hear ticking and start panicking. Archie and Mike put the package in the kitchen sink and turn on the tap, then join their wives in fleeing through the back door (inevitably, the two fight over who exits first). After a commercial break, Archie establishes that the package is not ticking and tells Mike to give Edith and Gloria the all clear, but when they enter, the ticking re-starts... and Archie realises it was never coming from the package, but from Edith's apron pocket, in which she put the kitchen timer so that she would know when the cake was finished baking. Edith inspects the thoroughly sodden package and finds a note from Cousin Amelia, who writes that her husband Russell has given up smoking and has sent Archie his remaining cigars with instructions to keep them in a humidor to prevent them from drying out. A frustrated Archie pulls the cigars out of the box, so soaked they are disintegrating in his hand, and says they won't be dry for a very long time.
• In the second season premiere episode, "The Saga of Cousin Oscar", Archie's freeloading cousin Oscar (whom the entire family hates) dies off-screen while staying with the Bunkers. Archie ends up getting stuck with having to arrange for Oscar's funeral. At one point, Archie is listening to Mr. Whitehead, the funeral director, list the very expensive prices for a coffin. Archie finally asks him, "Have you got anything such as used?"
• Beverly LaSalle's debut episode. Everybody but Archie has been told he's^note Although he performs on stage in a female persona, he does not identify as female. a female impersonator, and he is aware of Archie's attitudes. When Archie wonders whether he should say "Miss" or "Ms.", Beverly seizes his chance.
  Beverly: Why don't you call me.... (He pulls off his wig and drops his voice.) ...Mister?
• Archie trying to coax Edith into staying in a hotel for the night instead of next door with Mike and Gloria.
  Archie: You know, second honeymoon. Only this time, we'll know what we're doin. (He winks.)
• In the third-season episode "Archie Learns His Lesson", Archie is attending night school so he can get a high school diploma and qualify for a promotion at work. He is forced to share a study space with Mike, and this leads to them getting into an argument (naturally) about the U.S. government's treatment of Native Americans. Eventually Mike gets so frustrated with Archie that he walks away and screams at the top of his lungs.
• The entirety of the season three finale "The Battle of the Month", but special mention must go to the second half of the episode where Archie eavesdrops on Mike and Gloria arguing by pressing a drinking glass to the bedroom wall, Gloria discovering him doing so and screaming "GOOD NIGHT!" through it (while she's in his and Edith's room) and Mike's priceless reaction to Gloria slapping him so he'll let her down after he tries to forcibly carry her upstairs.
• In "Archie's Weighty Problem", Archie criticizes Mike for eating his dinner one dish at a time. His explanation as to why this is a bad way to eat is hysterical.