When Worlds Collide: VS. The Boskeyverse

Episode Final: Super Beast Wars

Well, at last. Here it is. The last fanfic on this Rugrats archive by Kacie Boskey that’s a crossover. The author actually made one more fanfiction which is a pretty good (as I skimmed it) fanfic depicting the wolf’s view on the events of The Movie and actually treats him with dignity rather than just make him a carbon copy of a villain (Carface), simply give him another villain’s name (Scar), or make him a cyborg (Killer). It’s called “I’m Not The Big Bad Wolf” and it’s one of the few Kacie Boskey fanfics I recommend checking out.

Now then, what is this last crossover about? Well, it’s a sequel to All Dogs, And Spike, Go To Heaven, so we already have Rugrats and All Dogs confirmed. There’s a third. Ladies and gentlemen, we’re heading back to Cybertron. This is “All Dogs, and Spike, Go Beyond Heaven: The Cybertron Mission”. Hopefully this actually involves some Transformers instead of copping out.

Well... Yeah, they didn’t cop out with this fan fic... but... Well, remember when the last three All Dogs And Spike fanfics were just copies of certain All Dogs films? Well...

All this was happening way too fast for Spike Pickles. One minute, he, Carface, Sasha, and Itchy were sent on a mission to Cybertron. The next minute, they were on some unknown planet. `This is weird. I wonder if the others survived.' Wondered Spike as he looked from behind a statue. A huge wheel crushed a flower. Spike yelped. The robots that were chasing him have found him! "Get away from me! Leave me alone!" Spike yelled as he turned and ran. The robots, Vehicons actually, chased the Greyhound Mix down an alley. Spike then saw his chance. A moving cart was nearby. He just needed to jump into it and he'd be safe. But he was in for a surprise.

Does this sound familiar to anyone? No? Maybe this might refresh your memories. Yes, this is gonna copy Beast Machines now. Oh boy, here we go! To the author’s credit though, at least it’s not a complete copy, as some scenes play out differently. Maybe this is a good thing... Alright, so first off, we have Carface on the good guy’s side. So... he actually made a permanent Heel–Face Turn last we saw him? Ah... Okay then. That’s new.

Next, there’s a mission to Cybertron. Do... do angels even know about Cybertron? The Transformers have the Allspark as their afterlife, not Heaven. I would assume this “mission” is really a quest to get the Transformers to convert religions so they’d be worshipping God than Primus. Wow... I think Spike is gonna lead the canine version of The Prayer Warriors. That will sure as hell be interesting.

So Spike soon meets up with Itchy and Carface and they all fall into a hole.

Just when they thought they'd be dead, they felt something soft and sticky. A huge spider web!

Waitwaitwait hold up! In Beast Machines, Blackarachnia was the one who made the web... And since it’s Sasha they meet instead... who made the web? They encounter some squished bugs, so it could be that those bugs made the web.

Itchy threw up several times because of the gruesome slime all around them.

How charming. Unlike the other All Dogs fanfics I read, this time I am watching the episode along side with reading the fanfic, and they do deviate a lot, which in this case is a good thing. So after finding themselves in the chamber of the Oracle, this happens.

"Spike Pickles, prepare to be . . . reformatted."

... Into what? Obvious answer aside, reformatting means having to reset and repair computer data. You can’t reformat an organic being, mostly because they needed something to format again. In Beast Machines, the Maximals reformatted to rid themselves of that transformation virus. In here, our heroes don’t have that problem. A better term would be something like... augment or hell, transform. Reformatting makes more sense if Spike was already a robot to begin with, and thus have something to reformat.

Anyways, Spike tells the others to reformat too, lest they die in the Cybertronian atmosphere. Wait... if they’re on a mission from heaven to go to a planet that’s potentially deadly, wouldn’t it make sense for Annabelle to give the guys some form of protection or some device to help them? Like with the Miracle Dog Tags? Screw it, they get reformatted. Then the Vehicons come and they prepare to fight.

The dogs said as loud as they could the only command that came to mind. "Maximals, maximize!!!"

... How would they know that? They weren’t Maximals. They were simple dogs that were sent by an angel. That would be like if the Joes got a hold of the Power Morphers and decided to go “It’s Morphin’ Time!” despite not hearing that. So like what happens in the show, they can’t transform and thus they must run. Oh, and Sasha gains web shooting powers because... Because.

Eventually, one Vehicon, named Decacon (That’s... actually pretty good), drove Spike off a cliff and he falls. {checks Beast Machines} And if I’m not mistaken... Yep. He transforms. Then names his group the Beast Machines. Because we’re not even trying to hide the fact that this is mostly airlifted from the source material anymore!

He had no time to think. "Nuclear Missile!" The robot-dog held out his hand. A missile shot out.

... WHAT?!?! A FREAKING NUKE? I’m not surprised that it didn’t blow up Spike along with Heptacon (Methinks there’s a pattern afoot) since apparently Nuclear Missile translates to “Super awesome weapon” as opposed to “Weapon that could doom humanity and the world as we know it”. At least when David Gonterman made that nuclear bomb reference in American Kitsune, it at least was intended to be a joke. So Spike manages to drive off the Vehicons for now and Spike decides to begin training the others.

A beep beeped. The operator said, "Maximal spark detected. Transform capability still functional."

... Still functional? You mean that Spike transformed before? This is still Spike we’re talking about, right? Not some gutted dog who is speaking like Optimus Primal and isn’t like Spike at all? Then again, most of the time, Spike acted like Charlie.

A dark figure turned off the alarm and monitor. "So, Spike and his friends survived after all." The figure took on the shape of a red and blue wolf. It was Wolf!

WHO THE FUCK IS WOLF?!?! THE ONLY WOLVES THAT ARE NAMED WOLF THAT I KNOW ARE THAT WOLF FROM THE MOVIE (WHICH IS NOW A WATERED-DOWN VERSION OF CARFACE) AND WOLF O’DONNELL! AND I DOUBT THAT WOLF IS RED AND BLUE! I could understand if it’s an OC... but really? Wolf? That might have worked in “The Great Pokemon Fight”, but not here. Having a wolf named “Wolf” is stupid. Yes, I am aware of A Dog Named "Dog", but this is a Beast Machines fanfic. You have cool names based off animal names like "Cheetor" or "Optimus Primal". Having a wolf-based character named Wolf is pretty stupid.

So anyways, “Wolf” took over Cybertron and the mission our heroes were sent for was to liberate it. How would angels know about Cybertron? Especially since the Cybertronian afterlife isn’t even some form of Heaven but rather a sort of Samsara. Wolf decides to send in Polycon and Octacon (No, Jack Black, don’t start!) and we end chapter one.

—

Chapter 2 begins and Spike’s transformation to Optimus Primal is complete, as now he acts completely like him.

Spike looked to the ground and continued, "Diabolical computers and simple commands are things of the past."

Wait... Diabolical computers? ... Maybe I was right about that Prayer Warriors joke.

He said, "The key is to find the balance within yourselves. Then and only then can you truly say-

“This fanfic fucking sucks!”

KAMEN RIDE: DIEND!

{blasts the pages apart with a gun} Oh, and then there’s this.

Sasha openedher eyes and smiled. She loved getting compliments all the time. And I mean all the time.

First off, that sounded wrong, and second, who the hell are you, Narrator? This fanfic, like all other All Dogs and Spike fanfics, are just a near-carbon copy of Beast Machines. If you hadn’t already, read the fanfic while watching the first episode and see the similarities for yourself. You want a near-carbon copy fanfic done right? Go read As Time Diverges The Mitakihara Case. It’s Puella Magi Madoka Magica with two of the main Death Note characters plopped into the events. While it follows the plot to a t, it diverges from the plot quite a few times and isn’t as copied as this fanfic was.

Although, I kind of do wanted to read what happens in the second chapter of The Cybertron Mission, if only to see if there was any major changes, especially during the scene where Spike would confront... Wolf. Seriously? Wolf? But it would be interesting because Spike never took part in the Beast Wars and thus Wolf can’t go all “You lost. Maybe if you won, things would be different.” And Wolf might need a better excuse than “rid the world of organics” since he himself is an organic. And then there’s the third chapter, where the Vehicon generals would come into play if it copied the third episode. That would be interesting to read since the first chapter already had some sort of Vehicon general thing going on... Unless those were supposed to be the Vehicon drones... In which case, why the hell would you give names to mooks unless you’re trying to humanize them?

Then again, there’s the very big chance that Kacie wouldn’t give a crap and just rip off a chunk of episode two and three anyways. But other than that, I am freaking done! Finally! These fanfics... Most of them suck! There are a few exceptions, such as The Animal Spell, but for now, let's count up these fanfics' crimes! In no particular order.

Some of the stories are airlifted, or ripped off, from other works.
Dinosaurs exist in modern times for no goddamn explanation!
Anti-climaxes all around! Villains leave for little or no reason what so ever.
There was a crossover with Catdog that got derailed into a crossover with Land Before Time!
Negative Continuity is at heavy work here, as the wolf’s story and name gets changed up every now and them!
Some stories, like “The Animal Spell” were Idiot Ball-driven plots with Contrived Coincidences like some character who serves no purpose other than to deliver exposition encountering the Rugrats at the moment where they need them and idiotic villains with plots so stupid that they’d be mocked to hell if they were on a show like Kim Possible.
Badly researched stories make the works the Rugrats crossover with seem In Name Only.
A toddler was electrocuted and clawed to death by a tyrannosaurus Digimon (a huge breach in rule 4), only to be revived by a Deus ex Machina one sentence later.
The last of these fanfics are so ripped off from the source material (breach of rule 2) to the point where the main work of the crossovers, The Rugrats, became In Name Only, and that Spike was ruined. Seriously, I forgot that most of those All Dogs and Spike fanfics had Rugrats characters involved.

There! Nine crimes for nine fanfics! And with that, I am finally done reviewing these fanfics.

{Kazuma walks into the room}

Kazuma: Psyga, I got some good news and some bad news.

Oh boy, here we go. Give me the good news then follow up with the bad.

Kazuma: The good news is that we decided not to turn you into a cyborg.

How did you come to that conclusion?

Kazuma: Well, when we realize that most of us came from a franchise that started off with a Phlebotinum Rebel, we knew that it would be inevitable, especially with what you displayed.

Okay, so what’s the bad news?

Kazuma: We’re discontinuing these liveblogs.

WHAT?!

Kazuma: You heard me. There’s no reason for these liveblogs anymore now that the project is discontinued.

Are you kidding me? There’s plenty of reasons! Entertainment and fun is just two of them!

Kazuma: Hmm... Entertainment?

Yeah! People like to read liveblogs! Not to mention that I might find something worth checking out, and I could liveblog it!

Kazuma: What... are you getting at?

Gather your team! We’re changing its goal!

Kazuma: To what?

To find and review! To see what is good and what is bad! To see if there’s some redemption in a bad story! To dig up a treasure buried in the past! To chronicle a journey! But most important of all: to entertain everyone! That, my card-playing friend, is the new goal!

Kazuma: Hmm...

Wataru: I approve.

And that’s good enough for me! Gentlemen, let this be the start of a new relationship!

{this music plays as it ends}

Thanks to everyone who took part at Digimon: Waltz Of The Damned and Chronicles Of The Gods, for had it not been for you, this liveblog wouldn’t be*

. And thank you for reading this.

Vola e vai, Gokaiger. Realizza i tuoi sogni e non ti fermare!