(when we last left our All-Stars, they try to tend to Tori, but to no avail)
Xander: C'mon, Tori...
Mako: You guys think we can wait until she recovers?
Mao: ...
(she bites her lip)
<On one hand, we still need to save lives. On the other hand, we can't leave a comrade behind...>
(then a portal opens)
Dan: What the...?
(also, a sign shows up)
"Congratulations. You've made it through the first Dungeon of Hell. In order to move forward, place the Ninja Ranger of Water inside the portal."
...as if we even know where she's going to be taken to!
Mao: It does sound really fishy, agreed...
(more words then appear)
"She will be healed. You'll see her soon."
I don't know, guys, it doesn't sound good...
Mako: ...ugh. (she's rather confused)
Xander: We have no choice, though. I mean, I don't know what would happen if we didn't give Tori up!
Mao: ...right. (she and Dan pick Tori up, and they place her inside the portal)
<Please be careful, Tori...I hope you'll be all right.>
(Tori is teleported, and the next dungeon, Forest, is opened)
Let's go, guys.
(they head off...)
(meanwhile, with Radiguet, he hears a portal opening, and Tori's tossed out)
Radiguet: I knew they'd fall for it...
(he picks Tori up, and she's placed in the same type of tube her fellow Scout is in. She, too, is hooked up with wires and tubes, filled with a healing potion, only the liquid surrounding her is pale blue)
Two down. Four to go.
(then, unexpectedly, Sean slowly wakes up)
Sean: <Ugh...where am I? Why do I feel so...?>
(he immediately notices Radiguet)
<That motherfucker! If I wasn't contained like this, I would kick his—>
(he stops himself)
<No. Try to think rationally, Sean...>
(Radiguet then notices the ex-Red Lightspeed Ranger actor)
Radiguet: Ah. You're awake. (he waves the soundproof portion of the tube off, so he can speak to his captive) Enjoying the front-row seat of your friends' downfall?
Sean: ...that did not make any sense.
Radiguet: You see, I plan to reunite you and the Scouts with one plan—they survive the Dungeons of Hell. But poor Tori...she was so tired out. One by one...(chuckles)
Sean: Dude. How stupid can you really be? Don't you realize you're telling the plan to me, right now?
Radiguet: And yet, you and Tori can't do a thing about it. We're even, Sean.
(Tori then comes to as well, a bit, and he waves the soundproof portion off for her as well. She's not happy when she finds out)
Tori: Radiguet! What are you going to do with me?
Radiguet: You'll see...it's a surprise. (smiles evilly) I'll tell you as soon as you're reunited with the Scouts.
(Tori tries to break free, but all she's doing is weakening herself)
Ah, ah. I wouldn't do that if I were you. You'd best be better off...don't want to waste the healing potion.
(he thinks)
How about a little more entertainment? Perhaps see how your liveblogging friend is faring?
(he turns on a large screen, and Tori and Sean see...)
(...Rika prepared for the next chapter, surrounded by empty sake bottles)
Rika: Welcome back!
Previously, we began the Liveman arc, we saw the Hurricanegers and Ninja Storm Rangers, and they, the Livemen, and Momoko and M!Takeru were captured. Also, something about Tommy training with Big One.
And now, we conclude this with...
(click!)
Chapter 27: Living Through Volt's Game
(Rika reads the Author's Note...)
- "Originally Mara and Kapri were supposed to be killed in this chapter but figuring out that it'd be too hateful to do it, they were removed for good."
(...and promptly facepalms)
Who are Marah and Kapri, you ask? They're Lothor's nieces. And yes, they were a part of the Disney-era Rangers series, specifically—you guessed it—Ninja Storm. And why were they originally going to get killed off?
Because they were too dumb for the author.
Yes. You read that fucking right. Because, apparentally, getting Flurious killed off wasn't enough at the time.
I'm going to stop the liveblog and just...take note...of all the bashing and killing Akizuki does. Because this isn't the only time he originally killed off characters he didn't like, only to remove it. The next chapter (which, by the way, is equally as dumb in its final version) was "Operation Suicide". WAS.
If you lived under a rock while I liveblogged this (and if you did, congratulations!), that chapter went like this: "Commander Ichijou sends the Overdrive Rangers to a suicide mission. They're killed off horribly." Oh, and the best part? It only served one purpose. Namely...to project how much he hates Operation Overdrive, and all other Kalish-era seasons besides.
Because, you know, having Flurious die horribly just wasn't enough. Again. And I'm sorry for going on and on about this, but...it has to be said. It just has to be said.
(Rika just looks so depressed)
I'm sorry, but...why the hell would you just put them into your story, only to kill them off? Yes, I've done that before, but...I was young. And dumb. And so fucking stupid. But now, not so much! Because I've learned, it doesn't work that way, and it shouldn't! You're just wasting so much energy that should have been spent doing other, better shit!
Take it from someone who knows these errors. Take it from someone who wallowed in self-pity, only to calm herself down a bit. That it isn't the way...
(Rika then looks up a certain All-Star's Twitter...and she laughs as she silently reads)
Twitter. Always come prepared when I ever get myself down. Seriously, "bacon overlord"?
Anyway...we'll get to what replaces "Operation Suicide" in the next installment. For now, let's finish this!
In the U.A.O.E, RINO and Abrella are enjoying the fact that the money's pouring in. The latter says that the game show would convince the other people that they're not kidding, and they'll invest more into their cause. And yes, RINO wants to extend people's agony. (yawns)
We then see the game show. The only thing to take from it is that both Tori and Megumi are answering the questions correctly. And as for the game show itself? Turns out that it's only used to see if anyone can have an IQ of 1000+. Anyone who reaches that point would be automatically zombified, and the losers die.
...so if you got all that, no one actually fucking wins.
(in the dungeon, the group makes it to the final floor, as usual, just to skip all the boring crap about the other floors)
Xander: We made it...
Mao: ...?
(she looks around)
Where's Midorungle?
Dan: You think this one doesn't have a boss?
Mao: No, I don't think so...
(as they look around, Xander's ensnared by some magical vines)
Xander: W-what?!
Mako: Xander! (she tries to use her katana, but the vines block it)
Mao: F-fu...oh, my God!
(Xander is sinking to the ground, and the group stares)
Dan: Just what the hell is going on? First, Tori's taken...now Xander. You guys think...?
Mako: No. I just don't know!
Mao: ...
(she's deep into thought)
(Xander then lands into a vine-filled room)
Xander: Ugh...where am I?
(then a swift flash of green, and he's stricken)
What the?!
(Midorungle shows up...and slowly but surely, Xander realizes that his infamous "Plan Xander" is not going to work this time around)
Midorungle: Hello, Xander Bly! So I've heard that you defected to the good guys!
Xander: That's true.
Midorungle: How does it feel, watching your friends fall? And the fact that you're not going to charm you way out of this situation?
Xander: I will admit. It stings a bit. But you know what?
Midorungle: Yeah?!
Xander: Yeah, I may be a jerk. A charmer. I was that. But I want to help my friends! And you are not going to stand in my way any longer!
(he prepares his Magi Staff)
Midorungle: Excellent. I'll try to make it your final words, Xander.
(the two fight against one another)
(with Rika...)
Rika: (reads through)
...this is so gonna suck. Let's get through this.
We get to the Maskmen, who are watching what's going on. And...
...
Oh, sweet merciful crap. Are you sure you want me to do this? Like...really, really sure? Because this next scene will blow your mind in not a good way.
...
................................................................................
..........................................................................................................
(in a defeated voice) Fine.
(she sighs)
Tommy appears, cosplaying as Big One. Complete with a cap and classic white suit.
...
I'm going to run that by you guys again. Tommy Oliver, the man several people respond to when they think about Ranger Memetic Badasses, the man who juggled between racecar driving, becoming a teacher, studying paleontology, and fucking forgetting things a lot...
(Rika exhales)
...is cosplaying as Big One.
(Rika headdesks and just lets out her "I give up" laugh)
We did it! We stripped every single fucking badasseries from Tommy! Why the hell would you just dress him up as a Sentai Warrior? And why do it when it doesn't make any fucking sense?
I mean...yeah! Banba is a master of disguise! And yeah, Tommy...somehow...has to be the replacement. But...gah.
(Rika looks at the Twitter page again)
You know it's bad when a certain someone may possibly be a better candidate for a Big One/Banba cosplay than you.
Anyway...(groans)...Tommy introduces himself by his first fucking name! (laughs in disbelief) The other Maskmen are shocked by his appearance, and the fact that he knows them. I personally would have been shocked by why the hell he decided to cosplay.
And then Tommy reveals himself with an attack. And...
- Tommy: "As they call me, Big One."
(Rika just buries her face, still laughing and becoming even more insane by the moment)
I think desperate times call for desperate measures.
(Rika then drinks, and she gleefully breaks the chair. She then promptly destroys the shit out of everything)
Tranza: R-Rika...!
Rika: THIS IS THE MOST FUN I'VE EVER HAD ALL SEASON!
(Rika is laughing mad, and she continues to wreck shit up, until she tires herself out)
...ugh.
(in the main area...)
Radiguet: The stupidity's wearing the girl down. Quite remarkable...
Sean: ...have you ever read the fucking story, Radiguet?
Radiguet: You kidding me, boy? I've been there, with the girl, before!
Sean: I mean...read all of it. Every single chapter. Because we have.
Radiguet: ...
No.
Tori: How about if we give him a dose of his own medicine, Sean? Read it through ourselves?
Sean: Wait, seriously? But what about Radiguet?
Tori: I wouldn't wish the fanfic on my worst enemies. But since he's putting us—and our friends—through torture...
(Sean starts to realize it, and he nods)
Radiguet: ...what are you two trying to do?
Sean: Radiguet, it's time you fully understand the power of total pain. Bring up the fanfic.
Radiguet: Are you two insane? I don't want to lose any of you, not when I have plans for you!
Tori: At the same time, you "saved" us. It's time to return the favor.
(Radiguet reluctantly brings the fanfic up)
Sean: Tori? You want to do the honors?
Tori: Yeah!
(and so, the two Scouts begin to read...)
Rika: So, after that entire bullshit happens and Tommy takes the Maskmen to the Time Train, we cut back to the Quiz Show of Death. Momoko's scared, but M!Takeru reassures her that everything will be okay. And yes, another mention about how she sucks at cooking.
(she shakes her head)
Then, when things get dire...kind of...a power failure happens. Tommy's team are disguised as repairmen. And then...Haruka, Kenta, and Akira transform and free the five(?) teams from their booths. Whereas Tommy reveals himself, still in cosplay.
Oh, and he was the one who caused the power failure, with a switch. How did that exactly happen? And how the hell did he even know about the villains' plans? Who cares?
...I swear, this story's getting to be more plot hole-y by the chapter.
Long story short...after M!Takeru, Momoko, the rest of the Maskmen, and the Livemen transform, Yuusuke settles things with Sargain. There isn't really a whole lot of flashy stuff here, and he ends up defeating the villain, forcing Sargain to retreat.
(meanwhile, Xander and Midorungle are still fighting it out, with the former's Magi Staff turned into its Axe Mode. Midorungle is using vines to ensnare Xander, but he slashes them)
Midorungle: You're good. But I'm better. TAKE THIS!
(Midorungle blasts a Solar Beam at Xander, weakening him)
Xander: Ugh! (he lands on the ground)
(Midorungle then tries to use vines again to capture Xander, and it manages to get his legs and arms this time)
Midorungle: There's still that overconfidence...Xander, it's time to give up.
Xander: I don't think that's possible, mate.
(and then...he breaks out of the vines with his strength! He prepares himself...)
LEGENDARY SOURCE, MYSTIC FORCE!
(with the echo of "Galwit - Mysto - Nermax!", Xander gains his Legend Mode. With the Mystic Lion Staff and code number "1", he uses the Rockslide attack, weakening Midorungle in turn)
Midorungle: D-damn!
Xander: It's time to finish this.
(and then, he charges an Energy Ball, and Midorungle does the same. Both attacks collide with one another in a Beam of War)
Come on!
(this basically goes on for minutes...)
(meanwhile...)
Rika: The Hurricanegers and Ninja Storm team are busy helping out the civilians, as is Tommy. Then Tau's team shows up to ruin everything, causing Yousuke, Nanami, and Kouta to transform.
- Tori: "I think that red ranger is kind of charming."
...
I don't need to say how much it doesn't make any sense—crap, I already said it. But, really, it just shows itself.
Oh, and Cam shows up as well. Turns out that he, too, is the cause of the power failure! Yes, he and Tommy worked together. Which actually makes...a little bit more sense. But it still doesn't explain how they planned it, how they managed to get away with it, and most importantly, how the hell they even know about the plan. Did Cam spy on them?
It gets better. Unlike Tori, Shane, and Dustin, Cam still has his powers. How? At this point, it's really time to stop asking questions, it's not sane for this type of story.
Cam transforms into the Green Samurai Ranger—no, not that one—and Lothor declares to his nephew that it's time to die. Cam's response?
- Cam: "Then don't call me that anymore."
I'd like to imagine him saying it in the snarkiest tone he can ever muster.
So the Hurricanegers try to beat Tau's team, until Tau himself, in a desperate act, tries to kill Tori. Then...Yousuke takes the beam. Which, somehow, Lothor also shoots.
(Rika shrugs)
The villains retreat, and Yousuke falls on Tori. Because this whole "Yousuke/Tori shipping" isn't shoved into our throats even more.
Back to the part where there isn't much of shipping—yet, the Maskmen and the Livemen talk a bit, and then they beat the Mooks. Yawn. Then Lethal Zuno shows up, with the intent to drive the two groups into insanity. I'd imagine it's reading the entire fanfic in an endless loop.
What do they decide? Throw every single fucking attack at them! Yeah, what happened to the whole "brains are better than brawn" thing? Also, another mention on how Lethal Zuno is a clone of Emperor Zeba, as if we didn't already know in the previous installment or so.
Ultimately, they decide to—you guessed it—combine their powers. Yuusuke and M!Takeru use their attacks at the same time, and this works enough for both men to have their teams fire off their respective cannons; the Maskmen with their Jet Cannon, the Livemen with their Bimotion Buster. They concentrate more to the point where they defeat Lethal Zuno.
But, as you know, this ain't the end of the battle. No, we still have the Obligatory Giant Mecha Fight. Gash kicks things off by enlarging the fallen Lethal Zuno, causing the Livemen to use their Super Live Robo, most of the Maskmen using the Great Five, and M!Takeru using the Galaxy Robo.
Even though the monster supposedly gives them trouble, the guys realize that they can use the same type of technique. The Maskmen—er, M!Takeru—decides that it's time for the Super Live Robo to be combined with Aura Power. With some talk, the Livemen agree, and both the Great Five and Galaxy Robo release the Aura Power to the Super Live Robo, overcharging it and making it perform a hella powerful Super Live Burst. This defeats Lethal Zuno once and for all.
Yawn.
However! 'Tis a Bittersweet Ending, since, after all, some of the civilians did die. And yes, Junichi and Tetsuya remember that they've lost their siblings, As You Know.
But hey, let's break up whatever dramatic scenes there are with lovey-dovey bullshit! Kenta asks Momoko why the hell she stayed with M!Takeru, and her response? Because she felt like it. I am dead serious. I just wonder why the hell they even got together, since all we see in the previous installments are them...arguing, and M!Takeru being an asshole, and everything.
Just what did she see in him, anyway?
M!Takeru reveals that they're married now. How? He jokingly says that he zapped her into marriage.
(Rika has an aghast look on her face)
Okay, scratch that. Just what the fuck did she see in him, anyway? The joke wasn't even that hilarious, anyway!
Momoko isn't happy that M!Takeru joked about that, and he reveals that he enrolled her in culinary school, causing the two to chase. Also, another talk, this time with Haruka, about how Momoko sucks at cooking.
...yeah, you see how tiring this "(insert any Pink Sentai Warrior/Ranger here) sucks at cooking" thing is? It wasn't funny or cute the first time it happened with Mako. It sure as hell ain't funny the thousand times after that!
...
Did I make a Drinking Game rule of taking a shot every single time anyone is mentioned as being bad at cooking? If not, I need to make that!
(Rika can't really remember, considering how drunk and insane this poor girl is)
...
(Rika drinks anyway)
Before Tommy, the Hurricanegers, the Ninja Storm team, Adam, and Zack (there they are! Where the hell were they during this Quiz Show of Death clusterfuck?) head back to their own time, the first man reveals that...yes...M!Takeru and Momoko did get married. Welp, that was so underwhelming! This shocks the two, and Tommy just heads off before time's changed for the worse. As if it (presumably) isn't already.
Honestly, I'd like to see some sort of a negative consequence to the timeline as a result of the USSPRA screwing things around. Just...something. Then again, we would have a stupid mini-arc where they have to set right what once went wrong.
We get a scene with Cam and the Hurricanegers mentioning how...yes...people have lost their lives. Here's the thing, as dramatic as that would have been, why didn't that get fused with the scene of Junichi and Tetsuya talking about their dead siblings? Adam feels sorry for the heroes, losing his own confidence as a result of everything that happened, but Zack cheers him up by saying that they need to set right what can go wrong...or something like that.
Regardless, this gets ruined by Shane kissing the feet of the Livemen and the Hurricanegers. Seriously. Granted, the two teams deflect the compliments, with Yuusuke telling the Ninja Storm team that they're good even without their powers.
...plus, Shane, mind if I remind you the time where you, Tori, and Dustin defeated Lothor without your morphing powers? Yeah, you guys had your elemental powers, but still!
(Rika thinks)
...come to think of it, I wonder if the three even used such powers in this arc's fights.
Also, Tori, bandaging Yousuke's wounds, thanks the guy for saving his life. And yes, the two are in love. And yes, this happens with no build-up as well. All of a sudden, I wouldn't be against a Tori/Nanami relationship. Yeah, it wouldn't make any sense, since Tori has Blake, and Nanami has Isshu, but...thematically, it would! It would make sense moreso than Tori/Yousuke!
After a sword fight between Yuusuke and Yousuke, and the latter having delayed effects from the torture, the USSPRA heads home. And then we cut to the U.A.O.E, with RINO throwing his usual temper tantrums—actually, wait, no. That would be an insult to actual temper tantrums. Regardless, RINO kicks Furabijo aside! Holy shit, dude...why would you do that?
Wendinu tries to help her ally out, but she and Furabijo get blasted away. As does Lothor. You know...he kinda does have a point. They did make a shitload of money. Why not use that money towards, say...your own gain, RINO? Like create some sort of a deadly device to destroy everyone, even your own allies, as you claim the world?
When RINO is done punishing his allies for their failures and warning them not to rebel against him, we get back to the New Skybase. Dustin and Shane decide to do other stuff for now, though they can't believe Tori's taking up nursing duties. It's also decided that it's best to leave her and Yousuke alone. Why? Because fuck it, the shipping doesn't make any sense, anyway.
Also, something about Nanami thinking about possibly replicating their powers and give them to the Ninja Storm team. Eh, don't worry. I'm sure they would get other, past powers by some other means—oh, wait.
Tranza: ...?
Rika: I'll say it later.
And so, this chapter ends with Yousuke and Tori being together. She tells him that he's not invincible, and so he needs to rest. Yousuke does so...but not before the two compliment each other.
- Tori: "He may not be the best thinker but he's really in fact, charming in his own special way."Yousuke: "She's quite a girl."
Gag me.
(Rika sighs)
...God. This sucked just as bad, if not worse, than the Maskman "tribute". But guess what? The worst is still to come. Join us next time as we focus on something completely different...
...a Power Rangers Samurai "tribute". And it's far worse than you think. Complete with a bullshit explanation of how one of the Jetmen survived his wounds.
(Rika drinks)
(at the battle, Xander and Midorungle are still fighting it out, until...)
Xander: <I can't hold on much longer!>
(both sides have their powers collide, and Xander collapses, demorphed)
Midorungle: Hah! So the mighty Minotaur himself has fallen! As soon as I show you to my master—
(the damage then becomes too much for Midorungle, and he falls himself. Unlike Xander, a stone with the symbol for "forest" is all that's left of the foe, and it disappears...)
Xander: That was a close one! (gasps for breath)
(...and then...a portal opens, and a sign appears. Xander crawls to it...)
"To the Hero of the Forest, congratulations. You may now step through and heal. Once you do, your friends will face the next dungeon."
(he coughs)
Works for me.
(he slowly stands up and walks to the portal...and he vanishes)
Will Xander rejoin Mao's team? Will Rika survive the Samurai "tribute"? And will Sean and Tori drive Radiguet up the wall?
Emergency Signal; Now, Forward! To the next liveblogging of Super Sentai vs. Power Rangers!!
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