(with Radiguet...)
(Xander stumbles out of the portal, until he sees the foe)
Xander: ...!
<W...I've been tricked!>
(Radiguet snaps out of the near-insanity...even though they've reached the tenth chapter already)
Radiguet: Welcome, Xander...did you miss me?
Xander: No. To be quite honest, I'd rather grown to miss that smug face of yours.
Radiguet: After all I've done for you? You and the other Mages?
Xander: Even then.
Tori: Xander, run! You still have a chance...
Xander: Tori? (he looks at Tori and Sean) Oh, my God...you guys...
Tori: Xander. Listen to me. Run...get back to the other All-Stars! Let them know what's happening to us!
(Xander nods, and he runs)
Radiguet: Ah-ah. (he turns and delivers a thunderbolt straight to Xander, making him fall)
It's rude for guests to walk out, even when I'm giving them hospitality.
Sean: You still haven't told us what you're going to do with us, Radiguet. You see why it's hard to even trust you?
Radiguet: I'll give you that, Sean. (he then gets the stone Midorungle left behind and places it between Akire's stone and Aocean's stone) Let's just say the end result isn't going to be pretty.
(he places Xander into a tube, filled with green liquid, and you know the rest)
Continue the reading. I'm rather surprised neither of you snapped yet. Especially you, Tori.
(the two Scouts continue)
(with Rika...)
Rika: Welcome back!
Previously, we reached the end of the Liveman "tribute". It sucked. THE END!
(cut to title card saying "THE END", as well as some classy music, until Rika shoves the card out of the way)
No. We are not done yet. Anyway, Tommy is becoming Big One's replacement, and more boring-ass shippings were had.
(she exhales)
Get ready for the grossest misuse of OOC and canon re-writings ever, kids. I warn you now, you are not ready for this.
Like I've done in the Maskman arc, I'm going to give you a chance to turn away until the next installment pops out. This time, it's one chance. One. Fucking. Chance.
...
Still with me? Don't say I didn't warn you. We now go forth with...!
(click!)
Chapter 28: Not Exactly Samurai
Remember in the last installment how this chapter was "Operation Suicide" previously? With the Overdrive Rangers horribly dying? I forgot to mention several other bits, all of which are overshadowed by the treatment of said Rangers. Namely...well, for one thing, several reviewers have put this travesty in better words than I ever could. No matter how much I repeat myself.
But anyway. First, in the story, it's apparentally shoved into our brains that Ichijou is a lot better than anyone LOLZ!. Considering his track record of repeating shit we already know, it's nothing new to me.
What is (kinda) new is, apparentally, there was a spanking machine involved. Yes, seriously. Yes, you read that right. (Rika taps her fingers) Between this and...ahem...that infamous line in Chapter 25 (you know the one), I can't really take this story seriously. Unless if it tremendously fucks up.
Oh, and even better. I'm not even sure if I mentioned this in the last installment, but even the Overdrive Rangers got mocked even when they died. By the heroes, no less. No matter how much that got erased, it still marks the USSPRA even more of Designated Heroes than ever before. And no, my attitude towards them won't change.
But that's all I have to say, because any more I say about the deleted chapter, it's just retreading ground.
So it's time to let the past go and focus on the future—
- "While I really don't like Power Rangers Samurai because of it trying to get too close to Shinkenger without being flexible, I decided to rewrite them belonging to a totally different canon like I did with the Gokaigers to make this an alternate continuity."
...
Fuck. This is gonna be one of those fanfics, isn't it? Rewrite what you hate?
- "Perhaps it's going to be a little more of what Power Rangers Samurai should have been in my humble opinion than what it is today. So let's begin getting those guys in a much different manner."
Yep! It's exactly that! I mean...yeah, I have dealt with "hey, let's re-write canon!" before, but you know what? At least I try to make things respectable to canon. At least I do my fucking research before I deal with it!
Case in point. In We Are Our Avatars, I decided to make a power-up for Catherine Grayson (as anyone would know, she's Carter, only turned female...you may have seen her before in this liveblog), after the Red Lightspeed Ranger powers were passed down to her son, Michael. By doing the research on Rescue Sentai GoGoV and finding out about the powers of Demon Hunter Zeek, I based the new powers on the suit, the Zeektector armor, as well as the weaponry; and I named the thing "the Lunara Knight" despite, in hindsight, not really looking like a knight-y armor thing.
(Rika shrugs)
And yes, I know that Samurai isn't...the most perfect series. In fact, I just gave up on the show way before Antonio's appearance. But I did not decide one day, "hey, let's destroy the characters because I hate the show!"
You know what I did with Andros, despite me hating him so much? I turned him into a complete Jerkass, only obsessed with himself and his own life/family. However, some people liked it (which, admittedly, surprised me, but...meh).
By the way, want to know how Akizuki's going to make it "better"?
- "To be honest, I don't like how Power Rangers Samurai is going on so I took away the Mega Mode and even any heavy battlizer and reshaped them into what I believe is a better way of writing them than forcing a script that doesn't fit well with its cast."
Also, spoiler alert!, Jayden has American and Japanese ancestries. Seriously. At this point, you could replace Alex Heartman with...fuck, I have no idea!
...
Hey, you remember when I did the liveblog of Kaizoku Sentai Gokaiger vs. Power Rangers Samurai? You know, the Hate Fic for the latter series? Say what you will about it, but...there are a few things that are going for it more than this piece of shit.
Namely, as Psyga once pointed out, the use of the Mega Mode in an actual battle. Yes, even though it was nothing more than a dream sequence, I have to admit, I'm always a fan of underused (or never-used) material that could have been. Even if it's used in a negative way.
Plus, yeah, the Samurai Rangers and the Gokaigers were turned into unbearable jackasses. But...can I just say, for the record, that the latter team were...kind of heroes? Despite the fact that I stand by the idea of one of them going, "you know, let's stop and think about this. You think they're, like, controlled by our enemies?"
What I mean is, both teams have a sort of personality. Here? Flat. Dry. Like a leftover soda bottle left in the heat after three weeks.
The Author's Note ends with Akizuki officially putting "Operation Suicide" in the discontinuity bin, and thanking his critics. And giving a summary of what happened.
We begin our story with some of the Sentai teams visiting a cemetery. First up are the Shinkengers, specifically Mako, S!Takeru, and Kaoru (as far as we know). They visit S!Takeru's biological parents, and Mako remembers how the Shibas helped to hide Kaoru.
Next are the Dekarangers, and Ban's paying his respects to the fallen soldiers, as does Hoji with his dad. Oh, and with them? A new character. Ladies and gentlemen, I introduce you to Chiharu, a woman who looks like Teresa (Hoji's ex-girlfriend)...and, spoiler alert, is Director Aya's daughter.
(cue the typical audience "GASP!", and Rika flatly looks)
Oh, come on, don't give me any of that. It's one of the worst-kept secrets, right next to finding out what Jayden really is in his canon! And yes, I know that "a character reveals a long-lost relative, then said relative is alive and well" is a cliche, but...come on. Considering how it's basically shoved down our throats right up until the actual chapter focusing on her...
Which, by the way, is three chapters after this one...
(Rika shrugs again)
And it doesn't even help when this bullshit was "hinted" in Chapter 22. Allow me to reference...myself.
(flashback!)
- "Aya thinks that if her long-lost daughter was still alive, what will she say to all this?"..."Yeah. The long-lost daughter."
(end flashback!)
I've kept my word. Yeah, it's a bit early, but still! Best to reveal it now!
Finally, from what I've glanced at, it seems that Chiharu's sole purposes are to A) give Hoji a love interest, B) create an Original Generation Jetman character (kind of), and C) possibly be Akizuki's mouthpiece. I may be wrong on the last one. We'll see what will really happen.
After a scene with Hoji thinking about his dad, we get to the Jetmen. J!Ryu (because telling the Sentai Warriors apart by the initials of their season's names? So much fucking easier!) gives his dead sweetheart, Rie, some incense, and places flowers on her grave. Aya also thinks about Dr. Nambu, who's the founder of the Jetman Project. And...
(Rika calms herself down, and she says the following in a very serious voice)
Ladies and gentlemen. You remember how I alluded to the stupid, stupid way Gai was resurrected? And what happened to RINO? I think it's time to tell the tale.
(cue one of the most depressing songs as Rika opens up a book, called "The Fucked-Up Ballad of Gai Yuuki, As Told by Super Sentai vs. Power Rangers")
We have a flashback of Gai getting stabbed by a crook. By the way, that crook? Played by the suit actor for Black Condor. Try wrapping your head around that.
And it gets better. The crook? It's RINO in a human body. And yes, I know that Radiguet, in the canon of the Jetman manga, is able to possess bodies, but...this is much stupider, trust me on this one.
Gai is sent to Heaven, and he sees the dead Sentai heroes. Namely, Daigorou, Kensaku, Mika, and Burai. Also, he sees Ko's mom and Master Kaku. I know what you're thinking. "Why the hell are Burai, Ko's mom, and Kaku even there? They're after Jetman's time!" Recall the fact that the epilogue takes place three years after the final battle.
Though this doesn't excuse this exchange.
- Gai: "Chokan are you already dead?"Ko's Mom: "You mistake me for another woman. Maybe I look like her. You confuse me for somebody else. I am not your Chokan."
Yes, Actor Allusions are all well and good, but...really? "HOLY SHIT WHY ARE YOU IN HEAVEN, CHOKAN?" Just...gaaaaah.
Regardless, the others remarked just how brave Gai was for saving a person, and he tries to get to know the dead. And this probably would have been the time where God, as a woman, leads him to the poker room, where he can play for all eternity.
But nope. Clotho shows up, telling him that he must save his friends. Gai asks if it can wait. (imitates Gai) Besides, I got a poker game to go to! I can descend so I can have them lead normal lives—
- Clotho: "You cannot rest in peace while your fellow Jetmen are at risk as Radiguet is planning to take over your body. You must go now."
...seriously? What does he want to do with my body, anyway? Just try to save a table for me, okay?
(in her normal voice)
So, in the world of the living, RINO tries to swap bodies, but then Gai and Clotho show up. The former's given 30 hours to go back, and in the last minute, he returns to his own body, with RINO still trapped as a crook.
If you got all that...Gai was revived because...apparentally, not only do the Jetmen still need him, but RINO wanted to take over him. You have got to be kidding me. How about the idea of Gai ascending and descending whenever he pleases? So he can still watch over his fellow Jetmen? That would have been a lot better than this!
Oh, and do you know the best part? It's all going to be rendered fucking moot. Because Akizuki has plans for Gai to die a second time. Why? Because he felt that he needed to die.
THEN WHAT WAS THE FUCKING POINT OF REVIVING HIM WHEN YOU'RE GOING TO FUCKING KILL HIM OFF AGAIN IN THE FIRST PLACE?!
Seriously, it's just bad storytelling. I just...
(Rika takes a very long drink)
And that's how the story ends. Gai gets his second chance of life. And as for RINO? To my memory, later on, by staying in the body of a crook, he gained "mental damages". I am dead serious.
Now do you see why I cringed when Tranza called RINO the "R-word" in Chapter 24?
(Rika closes the book, and the song fades)
(in the Wind Dungeon, Mako, Mao, and Dan go forward. In the first floor, there's just a gentle breeze)
Mako: After this, we will have two to go. (nods)
Dan: Thank God. I don't think I can take much more of this!
Mao: ...
Mako: Mao? What's wrong?
Mao: I fear there's something wrong. With Xander, and Tori...and Sean. It's all so clear right now!
Dan: Mao, what are you talking about?
Mao: No matter who makes it through, Radiguet will win. It may be possible that he's taking us all down. One by one. For what purpose, I don't know.
...
I think we'll have to face our fates.
Mako: Mao, don't say that! You don't know for sure!
Mao: Mako...we had to surrender Tori and Sean. Xander...you saw how he was taken!
Dan: And just because we're in a Wind-based dungeon, Mako's next?
Mao: Perhaps! Radiguet knows that we know too much.
Dan: And so do the other All-Stars.
Mao: ...they never did any of the full scouting like we've done. Maybe just...a half-mile every day. We wanted to survey the entire area. Because we did not want to wait any longer.
Mako: ...there's always fate to fight against. (nods) Who knows what can happen?
(Mao then nods back to Mako)
Mao: True. You're right about that. (she messes up Mako's hair a little, and they continue on)
(with Rika...)
Rika: After the flashback, we see Aya conversing with Chiharu. Turns out that the latter was lost in a shipwreck, but the past Dekarangers found her with most of her memories gone. Oh, and Hoji speaks in English.
Yeah, hold onto that, too, we'll get to it when it's time.
We cut to a "crazy dojo", which can only mean one thing. Yep, we've arrived at the time of the Samurai Rangers! 2012, to be exact! And at that time, we see Ichijou. We're told that he's a legalistic commander, the founder of the Neo-Jetman project, and the rival of Director Sugata.
He's also a dick, not even giving a shit to the aforementioned Neo-Jetmen. Therefore, I shall dub him "Commander Asshole" because fuck it, I'm bored.
Unsurprisingly, thus far, Commander Asshole is pretty in-character, thinking that the youths would be perfect for his new plan. Even if they're..."not exactly Samurai".
(Rika and Tranza look around to find the source, and they shrug)
But seriously. This is another thing I'll need to point out. Counting the title, we're beaten over the heads that the Samurai Rangers are "not exactly Samurai". Coupled with the fact that Akizuki did not like that series because of the way it was run...despite the fact that no one seems to be dead yet, it's another "fuck you" to a Power Rangers series that he feels is inferior to his beloved Sentai, this time to Shinkenger.
...I haven't amended my Drinking Game rules in a long time. Let's fix that.
- Take a shot every single time the Samurai Rangers are described as "not exactly Samurai".
There we go!
And we see our Samurai Rangers—Jayden, Kevin, Mike, Emily, Mia, and Antonio. The leader of the merry band tells Commander Asshole that he forced them to be a part of the kamikaze squad. Basically, die for his pleasure.
Uh...
Commander Asshole tells them to shut up, and that he took them in when they were famished and unable to find a job. Wait a second, where the hell was Mentor all this time? Did he simply not give a shit for his own students? And it gets better—the commander slaps them.
Seriously.
Emily tells him that he's been abusing them since day one, and Commander Asshole tries to strangle her! Dude! And even "better"—Akumaro's watching the entire thing.
At the U.A.O.E, RINO throws yet another one of his bitchfits as he remembers all the losses, and he threatens to demote everyone. Hello? You got a shitload of money! Need I remind you that?
Long and Tranza argue about who should be leader...good God, this is getting really annoying. Regardless, after Trakeena calls RINO a brat, Akumaro reveals the plan.
- Akumaro: "Sire, I have to admit I sense a great evil that I could use to defeat the Super Sentai warriors and the Power Rangers. They're not exactly samurai—"
(Rika drinks)
- Akumaro: "—but they'll do. They're being forced to become a bunch of mindless zombies- their brains and their brawns—"
(Rika drinks again)
Seriously? Two overused statements in one fucking paragraph? Hey, Super Sentai vs. Power Rangers, Pokemon: The First Movie just called, even it thinks you're being waaaaaaay too preachy with your morals!
- Akumaro: "—would be a waste if they are robots. That guy's temper can trigger negative emotions. to create my own bunch of evil warriors. Oh how I'd love to see the Shinkengers suffer because they'll never harm innocent civilians. Ohohohohoho!"
So if you got all that, it's "Gedou Heroes, Part II: Electric Boogaloo". And RINO loves the plan.
(in the final room, gentle winds blow across the battlefield. Mako, Mao, and Dan arrive there, ready to face Momortex)
Mao: Where is Momortex?
Momortex: (offscreen) Here I am!
(a gust of wind blows the trio back, and the monster shows up, on top of a cliff)
Mako: Momortex...so you're the dungeon's boss.
Momortex: That I am! (giggles)
Mao: Let's get this over with...
Momortex: Ehhhh, I'm bored, though...
Mako/Mao/Dan: Huh?
Momortex: I don't wanna do the typical fighting. I'd rather have some fun!
(she rushes around in a pink flash, and she strikes at the trio with a Razor Wind attack. Then...)
(offscreen) Try to catch me!
Mao: Looks like we don't have a choice. Let's go!
(Mao, Mako, and Dan rush to find Momortex...but little do they know is that Momortex, rather, is hunting them!)
(back to Radiguet, he watches from a screen as to what's going on in the dungeon)
Radiguet: <What is Momortex even doing? She's starting to be rather unfair...just like Akire.>
<I wouldn't want to appear and bail the Scouts, but if I have to...>
(Xander wakes up)
Xander: Radiguet...(he coughs)
Sean/Tori: Xander!
Xander: Hey...long time, no see? Especially you, Sean?
Sean: ...right. I'm hoping you didn't do your "Plan Xander" on your enemy...
Xander: Like I had any choice. (smirks, then coughs again)
Tori: Now that you're awake, you mind if you join in with the storytelling?
Xander: What is it?
(the two tell Xander what it is)
...again?
Sean: This time, it's from beginning to end. Kind of.
Xander: Well...I'll try.
(the three then continue on with the story after Radiguet has their attention...)
(with Rika...)
Rika: Akumaro, the Questers, and some mooks then show up. They see Commander Asshole trying to "train" the Samurai Rangers, and by "train", I mean "likely torture and abuse". He then straight up tells them that they're "expendable resources". Well, isn't that nice?
Jayden tells Commander Asshole how fucked up the "training" is, and...
- Commander Asshole: "How many times do I have to tell you Jayden NOBODY questions my authority?"
Pfft. I'm sorry, but when I see those final four words, I immediately think of this.
- Cartman: "RESPECT MY AUTHORITAH!"
By the way, even though I'm not a fan of the show, anytime a dictoral person says "authority", I'll say "authoritah" in response. Because Akizuki gift-wrapping the jokes is just too fun.
So as Commander Asshole punches the shit out of Jayden, the Shinkengers show up. As the latter team morphs, they even clean house against Akumaro's team. Commander Asshole orders Jayden's team to fight without their powers, and the guy refuses, looking terrible.
Regardless, Commander Asshole would find that there's really nothing to bitch about, since Akumaro heads back, dehydrated. The two teams talk until the commander orders the Samurai Rangers to head to the base. And he even controls them! Dude, first off, why the hell are you doing that? Secondly, where did you find the fancy-schmancy technology to control them? Third, isn't that inhumane?
...
(Rika drinks)
As the Samurai Rangers are forced back to the base, they're continued to get abused in every which way. Also, since we know that Mia's a bad cook and Antonio is decent...guess which one of the two traits will be shoved into our throats?
Also. Apparentally, Commander Asshole even created his own Boukengers and Dekarangers. Okay, so why the hell hasn't he even been arrested in the past? I just don't get it.
And speaking of backstories...
Back to the New Skybase, Gai is very unhappy when he finds out about Commander Asshole. Turns out that he was unpopular, a poor student, and he even hated the rich. That caused him to develop a "me against the world" mentality, even hating Aya's ass for being so good at class.
Yeah...Commander Asshole does realize that he can change the future, riiiiight? I mean...yes, I haven't seen Jetman, but one would think that there should be some sort of event that makes him value humanity, maybe go like, "oh, shit, I fucked up on this one! Maybe humanity's something worth saving after all." But that's just me, someone who's a fan of redemption stories, if done right, that is.
Regardless, S!Takeru realizes that Commander Asshole must be stopped. Gai agrees, and he decides to deal with the legalistic-happy ruler himself. And he says it twice, in different sayings.
Back to the Samurai Rangers, a dark cloud appears, turning them into...Gedou Samurai Rangers. Commander Asshole is shocked by the events, as he should be, and Akumaro shows up. He introduces himself, revealing that he now has the perfect army to kill the Shinkengers. Jayden doesn't want to be controlled—oh, wait, no, he says that they're not real Samurai.
(Rika gives a "what the fuck?" look)
Akumaro fires deadly beams, officially turning the heroes into Gedou Samurai Rangers.
...
Didn't they already do that?
The Gedou Samurai Rangers bow down to Akumaro, and he orders to destroy the Shinkengers. Presumably, Commander Asshole's fallen into a state of a BSOD.
(Rika drinks)
(meanwhile, in the dungeons...)
(Mao, Mako, and Dan still run)
Mako: Where's the enemy...?
(then all three are knocked forwards by a powerful gust of wind. Momortex giggles)
Momortex: I love to tire my prey out...let's see, who would be my perfect victim?
(she looks at Mako, preparing her Shinkenmaru)
How about you?
Mako: ...like hell you will.
Mao: Mako?
Mako: Mao...run with Dan. Try to find an exit.
Mao: ...
Dan: Come on, Mao, let's go!
Mao: R-right...
<I really hope Mako knows what she's doing!>
(she and Dan run)
Momortex: Oh, if they only realize that if you lost, they can never escape! (giggles)
Mako: How about if you can fight fair? Without any dirty tricks?
Momortex: Aww, but it's so much fun!
(Mako and Momortex then fight, but it's horribly one-sided, with Momortex deflecting Mako's attacks every step of the way with Razor Wind)
(with Rika...)
Rika: We see Tori and Yousuke scouting the city just as it's under attack by the Gedou Samurai Rangers. With them are Hoji and Chiharu. You know what that means: more lovey-dovey bullshit!
...yeah, I am sooooo not liveblogging this.
Also, with them is Gai. He kinda repeats himself about how stupid Commander Asshole is, and how they must arrest him. Chiharu, too, tells us what we already know with the "secret Sentai Warriors" thing.
We go back to Akumaro and the Gedou Samurai Rangers, and the Shinkengers are shocked to see them. Dear God...if anyone spouts off how one is fake, and the other is the truth...
But, luckily, they don't. Instead, S!Takeru orders the others to defend themselves, but not outright kill them. Even though this all ends up in the Shinkengers horribly getting their asses handed to them. Mako realizes that the Samurai Rangers' minds are clouded, and there has to be a way to save them.
Genta says that they have to wait for Kaoru's orders. Why? She may find a way to break the spell. Again, why in the hell is he so faithful to Kaoru now? And besides, isn't S!Takeru the 19th head of the Shiba Clan?
Meh. But you know what? At least here, the Shinkengers realize, "yeah, something is definitely going on with the Samurai Rangers". As in, they realize that there's something wrong, and perhaps they shouldn't out-and-out kill them. You know, the one thing I berated Kaizoku Sentai Gokaiger vs. Power Rangers Samurai for not doing.
After a scene with Kaoru ordering Spike to cut up six rocks (and yes, her not loving Spike), and another scene with the scouting team trying to find Commander Asshole and the Gedou Samurai Rangers...
(Rika sighs)
Is this where I'm going to have my hopes sorely disappointed again?
- "As they were speaking, Commander Ichijou drove his military jeep and went into battle."
...actually, wait. I know! Maybe Commander Asshole finally is starting to realize that what he did was wrong! Maybe...he is trying to redeem himself, hanging onto that one bit of humanity! RIGHT?!
- "He began firing his rifle like crazy to demand the Gedou Samurai Rangers to obey him."
...errrrr...I don't think redemption works that way!
- Commander Asshole: "Obey me! I am your commander or die!"
FUCKING DAMN IT! (pounds on the table in anger) That would have been the perfect time for him to redeem himself! Why is he...gaaaaah!
Anyway...Gai finally finds Commander Asshole, and after jumping to his jeep, he overcomes the crazy-ass legalistic-happy man. Gai...punches Commander Asshole...and is strangling him?
Uh...what the fuck?! I don't think arresting works that way! In fact...yes, Commander Asshole is, well...you know, but to pay it with your own dickishness? Who are we supposed to root for, again?!
So we turn to Kaoru and the Goseigers, and they carry a stone for each element of the Shinkengers, laying them next to the fallen "heroes". When the rocks are in place, Kaoru thanks the Goseigers, and rewards them a trip to the mall.
...aww, I wanna go to the mall after this.
Tranza: Maybe you will. (messes Rika's hair a bit)
Rika: Uh...I dunno what I can say about that...(is a bit taken aback by Tranza's continuing kindness)
Kaoru writes the mojikara for "health" and "protection", giving the Shinkengers some time. They're instructed to write their own mojikara in the rocks, with their own color, and they do, recovering from their near-death. And to end it all, Kaoru writes the symbols for "mind" and "release", freeing the Samurai Rangers from the dark control.
So after the Shinkengers and Samurai Rangers fall over, exhausted from combat and the spell, S!Takeru tells Jayden what happened, and offers for them to join. Jayden and the others accept, and they head off. NEXT!
Cut back to Commander Asshole, and he gets the seven shades of shit beaten out of him. Seriously. Gai handcuffs the commander after deciding not to kill him, and he tells him that it's time to be taken away. Hoji confirms that they'll take Commander Asshole to justice, and a spacecraft appears, carrying Doggie. They decide to determine his fate, perhaps a life sentence, but a trial will decide upon that.
Spoiler alert: he isn't getting off easy at all.
Oh, and do you know who else is thinking about starting her own Sentai taskforce? Chiharu. Because...just her being Aya's "long-lost" daughter just isn't enough.
We get scenes of the Samurai Rangers heading to the New Skybase for some chillaxing and talking. Also, turns out that Jayden's dad is not only Japanese, but also a karate fighter.
(Rika gives a look that reads, "...seriously.")
Yeah, I really hate to do this, but if Akizuki is gonna fuck with canon like this, then I have no choice. In this version, my headcanon interpretation of this Jayden will have Steven Skyler play him...because, hey, why the hell not? (Hector David, Jr. can be the new Antonio, and Alex can be the new Mike.)
Antonio decides to cook, and Genta wants to join forces. And yes, the former, at least, says that it's going to be golden. Well, at least he kind of has his canon personality down. But I am a wee bit mixed as to whether or not the lack of Spanish is a good thing or not.
(Rika then adds Antonio on her very very small list of characters she likes...then pauses, and puts a "(?)" next to his name)
...also, another thing about Mako and Mia sucking at cooking. NEXT!
S!Takeru and Jayden talk a bit more. Turns out that the latter's team are not exactly Samurai...(Rika drinks)...but rather, they're normal people selected to save the world from an ancient curse. Okay, now you're just ripping off Lightspeed Rescue.
...
Kind of?
(the poor girl doesn't know what to think anymore)
Jayden asks S!Takeru to train them, but the latter declines.
- S!Takeru: "To me, we're merely peers even if you're not truly samurai—"
(Rika drinks until she falls down)
Seriously! This chapter alone would give you alcohol poisoning if you ever did my Drinking Game!
- S!Takeru: "—by lineage as you said."
And who would be the perfect person to train them? Hikoma. Again...where the hell is Mentor? He offers the Samurai Rangers to use the Japanese Spa to heal their wounds.
...I'd totally would like to use a spa to relieve myself from whatever pain this fucking fanfic is causing me.
And so, this chapter ends with Spike, job well done, being freed from his punishment. Then this exchange occurs.
- Mako: "Well Spike I do hope you have learned your lesson."Spike: "So sorry Mako for what I did."Mako: "Well you've learned a valuable lesson after all didn't you Spike?"
...
I got nothing! No regular person should ever speak like that!
Spike is unshackled, and he tries to introduce Kaoru to the Samurai Rangers. Emily doesn't buy the idea of Kaoru being Spike's girlfriend for a minute...but she even admits that she finds her hot.
Welp, it's official! I'm gonna make Emily/Kaoru my ship! No matter how fucked up it is! (And by that, I mean it doesn't really make as much sense as the Yousuke/Tori ship.)
Kaoru hits Spike with a fan...again...and Emily and Kotoha play their instruments to calm everyone's nerves. We end this chapter with S!Takeru thinking about how much Commander Asshole hates human life. And even though the Samurai Rangers are (yet again!!!!) not exactly Samurai...
(Rika drinks a lot)
...even the treatment was horrible, and he hopes that the commander will be put away for a long time.
...
You know about my complaints about this fic repeating itself over and over again? This chapter takes it way, way up to 11. If it isn't the stupid-ass morals, it's the title being repeated. It's like...why would you do that?
But hey. At least I can say one good thing. At least Cole isn't in the fic right now to fuck it up.
...
(Rika headdesks)
I hate this fanfic!
(in the dungeon, Mako and Momortex continue to fight, until...)
Momortex: Prepare to die now~! (she soars up)
Mako: Eh?!
(Momortex flies down)
Momortex: AIR SLASH!
(by performing a powerful attack, Mako shrieks, and she falls down, defeated. She is demorphed)
Yes~! Finally...the All-Stars will fall!
(a portal opens up, and Momortex enters, carrying Mako)
(...but little does anyone know, Radiguet is waiting for Momortex. The monster places Mako down on the ground, shocking the three Scouts)
Xander: Mako!
Tori: What happened to her?
Momortex: I beat her! And now, the other Scouts can't pass...
Radiguet: ...
(he places Mako in a tube, and you know the rest again by now)
(however, Radiguet is just silent)
Momortex: M-Master?
Radiguet: ...while I do congratulate you for defeating Mako...I am not pleased by how you managed to beat her.
Momortex: Eh?
Radiguet: Let's just say, Momortex, that you've used up your usefulness, like Akire before you.
(Sean immediately knows what's up, having witnessed what Radiguet did...)
Sean: <He doesn't give a shit about his own creations! No matter how much they wanted to kill us! Does that mean...?!>
(Radiguet then turns around and kills Momortex by a powerful thunderbolt, leaving a stone with her element on it)
Radiguet: The dungeons will continue on. It would be a shame to waste the other two monsters...they're just itching to fight themselves.
(he has the Wind Dungeon open up another portal, this time leading to the next dungeon...)
Tori: ...
Xander: Damn.
With Mao and Dan left, who will be the next to fall? Will Rika survive the Turboranger two-parter? And will Radiguet eventually be driven nuts?
Emergency Signal; Now, Forward! To the next liveblogging of Super Sentai vs. Power Rangers!!
Comments
- "You know how, in Power Rangers Samurai, one of the main criticisms is how the show talks down to its audience? Yeah...this fanfic is doing the same fucking thing!"
