History Website / ChuckNorrisFacts

The site has been noted elsewhere, such as on ''Series/TheDailyShow'' and ''Website/ThatGuyWithTheGlasses''. It's influenced the long-running "Advertising/TheMostInterestingManInTheWorld" ad campaign for Dos Equis beer. Chuck Norris himself has taken the site with good humor and seems to enjoy the extra media attention.

%% * ExamplesSearchingForATrope:
%% ** To eliminate obsolete pennies, Chuck Norris stretches them into $5 bills - since Lincoln is on both anyway.
%% ** Chuck Norris invented the hamburger by throwing a cow at a chain-link fence.
%% ** When most children go to sleep, they wear ''Franchise/{{Superman}}'' pajamas. When Superman goes to sleep, he wears Chuck Norris pajamas.

%% ** When Chuck Norris was born, the only one who cried was the doctor. Never slap Chuck Norris.

->''[[TVTropesWillRuinYourLife TVTropes won't ruin Chuck Norris' life.]]''

* GagPenis: A variant. Chuck Norris once challenged Lance Armstrong to a "Who has more testicles?" contest. Chuck Norris won by five.

* StaringDownCthulhu: Chuck Norris stared evil in the eye, and it went into hiding.

* AManIsNotAVirgin: Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his father did.

Then Chuck Norris stepped forward, and he gave baby Jesus the gift of [[BadassBeard beard]], which Jesus would carry with him all the days of his life. The three Wise Men were so outraged by the preference given to his gift over theirs that they conspired to have Chuck written out of Literature/TheBible. All three were later found to have died of mysterious roundhouse-kick-related injuries.

* BadassBeard: As a symbol of masculinity, Chuck's beard is referenced by many Chuck Norris facts. Inverted by the example listed under AlwaysSomeoneBetter.

* HoistByHisOwnPetard: Chuck Norris was once bitten by a king cobra. After five days of agonizing pain, the cobra died.

* MotherOfAThousandYoung: Gender-inverted. Chuck Norris is single-handedly responsible for the overpopulation of China. He hosted a martial arts tournament in Beijing and all women within 1,000 miles spontaneously became pregnant.

'''[[Creator/ChuckNorris Booker]]''': Yeah, I was. But after five days of agonizing pain... [[BaitAndSwitchComment the cobra died]].

* TheDreaded: Even [[TheGrimReaper Death]] and {{Bogeyman}} are afraid of him!
-->''"Chuck Norris died 20 years ago, Death just hasn't built up the courage to tell him yet."''\\

%% * ExamplesSearchingForATrope: To eliminate obsolete pennies, Chuck Norris stretches them into $5 bills - since Lincoln is on both anyway.

** The whole site is an InUniverse parody.

* HoistByHisOwnPetard: Chuck Norris was once bitten by a king cobra. After five days of agonizing pain, ''the cobra died''.

* PlayfulHacker: Chuck Norris' computer keyboard does not have a Ctrl button. Chuck Norris is always in control.

* TopTenList: Supposedly chosen by Chuck himself (at least a few were), and read by the man himself [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TA_hMq-JUOE here.]]

** In Soviet Russia, [[ZigZaggineTrope roundhouse kick Chuck Norrises you]].

* AlwaysSomeoneBetter: Why does Chuck Norris have a beard? Because his chin was less manly than Creator/BruceCampbell's.

* AnArmAndALeg: Chuck Norris lost both legs in a car accident but was still able to WalkItOff.

* FrivolousLawsuit: Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming [[Series/LawAndOrder "Law" and "Order"]] are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
* FinalBattle: Subverted. One time Chuck Norris invited all of TV's badasses to an all-out brawl-for-all to determine who was the supreme badass. Unfortunately, only two of them dared showed up: ''Series/{{MacGyver|1985}}'' and [[Series/TwentyFour Jack Bauer]]. And when they saw who the competition was, they scampered.

** Chuck Norris is [[Series/DiffrentStrokes what Willis was talkin' 'bout]].
** Chuck Norris is the reason [[Literature/WheresWally Waldo]] is hiding.

** In Soviet Russia, roundhouse kick Chuck Norrises you.

* ShoutOut: Chuck Norris shaves using [[Franchise/FridayThe13th Jason's]] machete, combs his hair using [[Franchise/ANightmareOnElmStreet Freddy's]] glove, and flosses his teeth using [[Franchise/{{Hellraiser}} Pinhead's]] chains.

* GodModeSue: The whole site is an InUniverse parody.

* ShmuckBait: If you work in an office with Chuck Norris, don't ask him for his three-hole punch.

* WorkoutFanservice: When Chuck Norris does push-ups, he isn't pushing himself up. He's pushing the Earth down. Chuck actually put together [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H9Eo-TbivU4 a video demonstrating this fact]] as a gift to [[IllGirl a hospitalized boy]].
* WorthyOpponent: Mr. T and Segata Sanshiro.

* BadassBeard: As a symbol of masculinity, Chuck's beard is referenced by many Chuck Norris facts.

* {{God}}: In the beginning, there was nothing. Then Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked that nothingness in the face and said 'Get a job.' That is the origin of the universe.

* InSpiteOfANail: Chuck travels back in time and saves John F Kennedy by catching all the bullets with his torso. JFK is so surprised, his head explodes.

** For some men, one testicle is larger than the other. For Chuck Norris, each testicle is larger than the other.

* {{Portmanteau}}: Someone once made a videotape of Chuck Norris getting pissed off. The title? ''Walker: Texas Chainsaw Massacre''.
* PreAsskickingOneLiner: Ask Chuck Norris what time it is and he'll always say "Two seconds till." When you ask "Two seconds till ''what''?", he roundhouse kicks you in the face.

** Chuck Norris CAN believe it's not butter.

** Chuck Norris CAN hear you now.

* RussianReversal: When Chuck Norris is bitten by a zombie, he doesn't turn into a zombie. The zombie turns into Chuck Norris, instead.

** Chuck Norris doesn't flush the toilet. He scares the shit out of it.

* AlwaysSomeoneBetter: "Why does Chuck Norris have a beard? Because his chin was less manly than Creator/BruceCampbell's."

* AwesomenessIsVolatile: When Norris and Mr. T walked into a bar, the place exploded due to not being able to contain that much awesome.

** Chuck Norris can strangle you to death... with a cordless phone.

* CureForCancer: Chuck Norris' tears. [[MenDontCry Too bad he has never cried. Ever.]]

* FrivolousLawsuit: Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming "Series/LawAndOrder" are trademarked names for his left and right legs.

* {{God}}: "In the beginning, there was nothing. Then Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked that nothingness in the face and said 'Get a job.' That is the origin of the universe."

* RushmoreRefacement: Subverted - they wanted to put Chuck Norris on Mount Rushmore, but the granite wasn't tough enough for his beard.

* TheSleepless: Chuck Norris once ate many sleeping pills just to try to sleep. The pills only made him blink.

* SwissArmyTears: Chuck Norris's tears can cure cancer. Too bad he never cries.

** Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King — and actually got it! ''And'' they got it '''right'''!

** A StrawFeminist once invited Chuck Norris to her house and challenged him to a duel. Not even 5 minutes later, he left her house with a [[StayInTheKitchen sandwich and his shirt ironed]].

** They wanted to make a Chuck Norris-brand toilet paper, but it wouldn't take shit from anyone.

* FinalBattle: Subverted. One time Chuck Norris invited all of TV's badasses to an all-out brawl-for-all to determine who was the supreme badass. Unfortunately, only two of them dared showed up: ''Series/{{MacGyver|1985}} and [[Series/TwentyFour Jack Bauer]]. And when they saw who the competition was, they scampered.

* FinalBattle: Subverted. One time Chuck Norris invited all of TV's badasses to an all-out brawl-for-all to determine who was the supreme badass. Unfortunately, only two of them dared showed up: Series/MacGyver and [[Series/TwentyFour Jack Bauer]]. And when they saw who the competition was, they scampered.

* GettingCrapPastTheRadar: Chuck Norris can play the "Name Game".