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->'''[[Creator/SylvesterStallone Barney Ross]]''': I heard another rumor. That you were bitten by a king cobra.\\
'''[[Creator/ChuckNorris Booker]]''': Yeah, I was. But after five days of agonizing pain... the cobra died.
'''[[Creator/ChuckNorris Booker]]''': Yeah, I was. But after five days of agonizing pain... the cobra died.
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->'''[[Creator/SylvesterStallone Barney Ross]]''': Ross]]:''' I heard another rumor. That you were bitten by a king cobra.\\
'''[[Creator/ChuckNorrisBooker]]''': Booker]]:''' Yeah, I was. But after five days of agonizing pain... the cobra died.
'''[[Creator/ChuckNorris
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* AluminumChristmasTrees: In actual fact, someone ''was'' once bitten by a cobra, only for the snake to die instead, years before these Facts began to circulate: [[Wrestling/RandySavage Macho Man Randy Savage]] during his feud with [[Wrestling/JakeRoberts Jake "the Snake" Roberts]]. The cobra was, admittedly, devenomed.
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* AsskickingLeadsToAuthority: America is not a democracy. It is a Chucktatorship.
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* AsskickingLeadsToAuthority: AsskickingLeadsToLeadership: America is not a democracy. It is a Chucktatorship.
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* AsskickingEqualsAuthority: America is not a democracy. It is a Chucktatorship.
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* AsskickingEqualsAuthority: AsskickingLeadsToAuthority: America is not a democracy. It is a Chucktatorship.
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* WeaponOfChoice: Chuck Norris doesn't need a weapon. He is one.
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* WeaponOfChoice: WalkingArmory: Chuck Norris doesn't need a weapon. He is one.
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* DudeNotFunny: InvokedTrope in his book, where he mentions that some of the facts are "inappropriate" and specifically notes the example listed under AnArmAndALeg as potentially offending actual military veterans disabled by war wounds.
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* DudeNotFunny: InvokedTrope in his book, where he mentions that some of the facts are "inappropriate" and specifically notes the example listed under AnArmAndALeg as potentially offending actual military veterans disabled by war wounds. He's also not a fan of the facts which are [[BlasphemousBoast Blasphemous Boasts]].
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* NotMakingThisUpDisclaimer: Chuck Norris sang the theme song to ''Series/WalkerTexasRanger''. This is not a joke. He actually [[PrecisionFStrike fucking]] sang it.
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* CluckingFunny: When Chuck Norris wants an egg, he cracks open a chicken.
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dewicked Ill Girl
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* SuperStrength: When Chuck Norris does push-ups, he isn't pushing himself up. He's pushing the Earth down. Chuck actually put together [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H9Eo-TbivU4 a video demonstrating this fact]] as a gift to [[IllGirl a hospitalized boy]].
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* SuperStrength: When Chuck Norris does push-ups, he isn't pushing himself up. He's pushing the Earth down. Chuck actually put together [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H9Eo-TbivU4 a video demonstrating this fact]] as a gift to [[IllGirl [[DelicateAndSickly a hospitalized boy]].
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* KillEmAll: The dinosaurs weren't killed by a meteor; Chuck Norris just went on a hunting trip.
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* WrongRestaurant: Orders Whoppers from [=McDonalds=]. He usually gets them, but when denied, he kicks the place so hard it bec toomes a Taco Bell.
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* WrongRestaurant: Orders Whoppers from [=McDonalds=]. He usually gets them, but when denied, he kicks the place so hard it bec toomes becomes a Taco Bell.
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* ReadingYourRights: When the police stop Chuck Norris, they say "We have the right to remain silent."
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* WrongRestaurant: Orders Whoppers from [=McDonalds=]. He usually gets them, but when denied, he kicks the place so hard it becomes a Taco Bell.
* YouHaveTheRightToRemainSilent: When the police stop Chuck Norris, they say "We have the right to remain silent."
* YouHaveTheRightToRemainSilent: When the police stop Chuck Norris, they say "We have the right to remain silent."
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* WrongRestaurant: Orders Whoppers from [=McDonalds=]. He usually gets them, but when denied, he kicks the place so hard it becomes bec toomes a Taco Bell.
* YouHaveTheRightToRemainSilent: When the police stop Chuck Norris, they say "We have the right to remain silent."Bell.
* YouHaveTheRightToRemainSilent: When the police stop Chuck Norris, they say "We have the right to remain silent."
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* YouHaveTheRightToRemainSilent: When the police stop Chuck Norris, they say "We have the right to remain silent."
