Is there an issue? Send a MessageReason:
None
Changed line(s) 3,4 (click to see context) from:
Once upon a time, the obsession known as ''Literature/{{Twilight}}'' was (and still is) a great source of {{parody}} around the Internet. Mid-2008, two LJ-ers by the names of saint_renegade and oxymoronassoc went on a RP-ing session that greatly exaggerated the characters of ''Twilight'', especially Edward and Emmett Cullen.
to:
Once upon a time, the obsession known as ''Literature/{{Twilight}}'' ''[[Literature/TheTwilightSaga Twilight]]'' was (and still is) a great source of {{parody}} around the Internet. Mid-2008, two LJ-ers by the names of saint_renegade and oxymoronassoc went on a RP-ing session that greatly exaggerated the characters of ''Twilight'', especially Edward and Emmett Cullen.
Is there an issue? Send a MessageReason:
Deleted line(s) 14 (click to see context) :
* TheBeard: Rosalie becomes convinced that Bella and Edward are this to each other.
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A Date With Rosie Palms is no longer a trope
Deleted line(s) 24 (click to see context) :
* ADateWithRosiePalms: Every time Emmett brings it up (or says something that could be construed as involving it), Edward flips out because "THAT IS UNGODLY BEHAVIOR." He also believes in the hairy palms and/or blindness myths.
Is there an issue? Send a MessageReason:
Up To Eleven is a defunct trope
Deleted line(s) 5,6 (click to see context) :
In short, ''Literature/{{Twilight}}'' was TurnedUpToEleven.
Is there an issue? Send a MessageReason:
Everythings Better With Monkeys has been renamed to Silly Simian.Misuse and ZCE examples will be deleted
Deleted line(s) 32 (click to see context) :
* EverythingIsBetterWithMonkeys: Subverted when Edward flees to South America to deal with the break-up. "VERMIN! LEAVE ME!"
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None
Changed line(s) 19 (click to see context) from:
* {{Canon}}: In ''Literature/MidnightSun'', it is revealed that the Cullens really do have family meetings. And Edward says himself in ''Breaking Dawn'' that he had a lot of time to pick up hobbies, since he wasn't involved with anyone.
to:
* {{Canon}}: In ''Literature/MidnightSun'', ''Literature/MidnightSun2020'', it is revealed that the Cullens really do have family meetings. And Edward says himself in ''Breaking Dawn'' that he had a lot of time to pick up hobbies, since he wasn't involved with anyone.
Is there an issue? Send a MessageReason:
Not So Different has been renamed, and it needs to be dewicked/moved
Deleted line(s) 59 (click to see context) :
* NotSoDifferent: Emmett can rant and throw tantrums just as well as Edward when his buttons are pushed. Especially if sports are involved.
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None
Deleted line(s) 29 (click to see context) :
Added DiffLines:
* WhatHappenedToTheMouse: In one of the roleplays, Edward "rescues" (read: basically kidnaps) a woman who starred in one of Emmett's porn vids (and the horse she was, um, [[BestialityIsDepraved having fun with]]) and brings them to the Cullen house. Neither the woman nor the horse appear again after that.
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None
Added DiffLines:
* CampStraight: Edward is overemotional and campy as hell, but retains his canonical interest in Bella.
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None
Changed line(s) 3,4 (click to see context) from:
Once upon a time, the obsession known as ''Literature/{{Twilight}}'' was (still is) a great source of {{parody}} around the Internet. Mid-2008, two LJ-ers by the names of saint_renegade and oxymoronassoc went on a RP-ing session that greatly exaggerated the characters of ''Twilight'', especially Edward and Emmett Cullen.
to:
Once upon a time, the obsession known as ''Literature/{{Twilight}}'' was (still (and still is) a great source of {{parody}} around the Internet. Mid-2008, two LJ-ers by the names of saint_renegade and oxymoronassoc went on a RP-ing session that greatly exaggerated the characters of ''Twilight'', especially Edward and Emmett Cullen.
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* RecursiveFanfiction: The fans [[https://jasperlurksinthecorner.wordpress.com/2008/10/01/growing-up-cullen-v2/ Socks and Pants]] wrote an unofficial continuation of the series, copying its distinct style.
-->'''P:''' He goes hunting in his leotard\\
IT BREATHES EMMETT\\
IT IS ALSO COMPLETELY WASHABLE\\
'''S:''' THE FRESH AIR FEELS NICE ON MY SKIN
-->'''P:''' He goes hunting in his leotard\\
IT BREATHES EMMETT\\
IT IS ALSO COMPLETELY WASHABLE\\
'''S:''' THE FRESH AIR FEELS NICE ON MY SKIN
Is there an issue? Send a MessageReason:
Since the original journal was deleted, I have posted a link to the wayback machine.
Changed line(s) 9 (click to see context) from:
Can be read [[http://oxymoronassoc.livejournal.com/462027.html here]].
to:
Can be read [[http://oxymoronassoc.[[https://web.archive.org/web/20170721091133/https://balcarin.livejournal.com/462027.html here]].
Is there an issue? Send a MessageReason:
A Man Is Not A Virgin is no longer a trope.
Deleted line(s) 47 (click to see context) :
* AManIsNotAVirgin: Averted with Edward; very much played straight (and loud) with Emmett.
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None
Changed line(s) 25 (click to see context) from:
* ADateWithRosiePalms: Every time Emmett brings it up (or says something that could be construed as involving it), Edward flips out because "THAT IS UNGODLY BEHAVIOR." He also believes in the hairy palms and/or blindness myths.* DigitalPiracyIsEvil: "THESE PEOPLE HAVE TO FEED THEIR FAMILES YOU KNOW"
to:
* ADateWithRosiePalms: Every time Emmett brings it up (or says something that could be construed as involving it), Edward flips out because "THAT IS UNGODLY BEHAVIOR." He also believes in the hairy palms and/or blindness myths.myths.
* DigitalPiracyIsEvil: "THESE PEOPLE HAVE TO FEED THEIRFAMILES FAMILIES YOU KNOW"
* DigitalPiracyIsEvil: "THESE PEOPLE HAVE TO FEED THEIR
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None
Changed line(s) 25,26 (click to see context) from:
* ADateWithRosiePalms: Every time Emmett brings it up (or says something that could be construed as involving it), Edward flips out because "THAT IS UNGODLY BEHAVIOR." He also believes in the hairy palms and/or blindness myths.
* DigitalPiracyIsEvil: "THESE PEOPLE HAVE TO FEED THEIR FAMILES YOU KNOW"
* DigitalPiracyIsEvil: "THESE PEOPLE HAVE TO FEED THEIR FAMILES YOU KNOW"
to:
* ADateWithRosiePalms: Every time Emmett brings it up (or says something that could be construed as involving it), Edward flips out because "THAT IS UNGODLY BEHAVIOR." He also believes in the hairy palms and/or blindness myths.
myths.* DigitalPiracyIsEvil: "THESE PEOPLE HAVE TO FEED THEIR FAMILES YOU KNOW"
Changed line(s) 55 (click to see context) from:
-->''THIS IS GROSS, HOW DO YOU WE LIVE LIKE THIS?''
to:
-->''THIS IS GROSS, HOW DO YOU WE LIVE LIKE THIS?''
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None
Deleted line(s) 12 (click to see context) :
* ActorAllusion: "NO I DO NOT THINK IT BIG HEADED TO THINK THAT I AM AS HANDSOME AS [[Film/HarryPotter CEDRIC]]. IT IS JUST A FACT OF LIFE"
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None
** And later: "[Bella] could DIE. AT. ANY. MOMENT. PEOPLE"
Changed line(s) 64 (click to see context) from:
* RightThroughTheWall: Rosalie is loud just to fuck with Edward's ship-in-a-bottle.
to:
* RightThroughTheWall: Rosalie is loud just to fuck with Edward's ship-in-a-bottle.ships-in-a-bottle.
Is there an issue? Send a MessageReason:
None
Added DiffLines:
* ADateWithRosiePalms: Every time Emmett brings it up (or says something that could be construed as involving it), Edward flips out because "THAT IS UNGODLY BEHAVIOR." He also believes in the hairy palms and/or blindness myths.
Is there an issue? Send a MessageReason:
None
Added DiffLines:
* MyGodWhatHaveIDone: Word for word after he breaks the stereo when Emmett swaps his Music/DeathCabForCutie [=CDs=] with Music/{{KISS}}.
-->''OH MY GOD WHAT HAVE I DONE\\
I WILL REPLACE IT\\
I WILL ATONE FOR THIS SIN\\
GOD IS TESTING ME''
-->''OH MY GOD WHAT HAVE I DONE\\
I WILL REPLACE IT\\
I WILL ATONE FOR THIS SIN\\
GOD IS TESTING ME''
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None
Changed line(s) 24 (click to see context) from:
* CreepyChild: Renesmee. Emmett especially is creeped out by her power and the WifeHusbandry.
to:
* CreepyChild: Renesmee. Emmett especially is creeped out by her power ("THAT KID IS CREEPY. I DON'T WANT TO SEE A PLAY BY PLAY OF HER DROOLING ON JACOB WHEN I AM TRYING TO WATCH THE GAME.") and the WifeHusbandry.
Is there an issue? Send a MessageReason:
None
Changed line(s) 42 (click to see context) from:
* IvyLeagueForEveryOne: At least according to Edward.
to:
* IvyLeagueForEveryOne: IvyLeagueForEveryone: At least according to Edward.Edward.
-->''WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU DONT WANT AN IVY LEAGUE EDUCATION\\
EVERYONE WANTS AN IVY LEAGUE EDUCATION''
-->''WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU DONT WANT AN IVY LEAGUE EDUCATION\\
EVERYONE WANTS AN IVY LEAGUE EDUCATION''
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None
-->''he's EMOTIONAL, OK\\
JUST BECAUSE HE HAS FEELINGS''
JUST BECAUSE HE HAS FEELINGS''
Changed line(s) 33 (click to see context) from:
* HomemadeSweaterFromHell: Edward knits to get out his aggression.
to:
* HomemadeSweaterFromHell: Edward knits to get out his aggression."to keep from strangling emmett".
-->''he'd like mutter to himself about being 'content with yourself' and shit while knitting\\
BE TRUE TO YOURSELF''
-->''he'd like mutter to himself about being 'content with yourself' and shit while knitting\\
BE TRUE TO YOURSELF''
Changed line(s) 40 (click to see context) from:
* AManIsNotAVirgin: Averted with Edward.
to:
* AManIsNotAVirgin: Averted with Edward.Edward; very much played straight (and loud) with Emmett.
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None
Changed line(s) 3,4 (click to see context) from:
Once upon a time, the obsession known as ''Literature/{{Twilight}}'' was and is still a great source of parody around the Internet. Mid-2008, two LJ-ers by the names of saint_renegade and oxymoronassoc went on a RP-ing session that greatly exaggerated the characters of ''Twilight'', especially Edward and Emmett Cullen.
to:
Once upon a time, the obsession known as ''Literature/{{Twilight}}'' was and is still (still is) a great source of parody {{parody}} around the Internet. Mid-2008, two LJ-ers by the names of saint_renegade and oxymoronassoc went on a RP-ing session that greatly exaggerated the characters of ''Twilight'', especially Edward and Emmett Cullen.
Changed line(s) 7,8 (click to see context) from:
Icons and approval abounded, and in total five RP-ing sessions were posted, one official batch of icons, and [[FountainOfMemes many, many, many quotes.]]
to:
Icons and approval abounded, and in total five RP-ing sessions were posted, one official batch of icons, and [[FountainOfMemes many, many, many quotes.]]
quotes]].
Changed line(s) 14 (click to see context) from:
* AwesomeMccoolname: "WE ARE NAMING OUR KID EMMETTALIE IF WE EVER GET ONE...BOY OR GIRL, THAT'S IT'S NAME. IT'LL KICK THIS KID'S ASS. THE MIDDLE NAME IS GOING TO BE BASEBALL, THOUGH."
to:
* AwesomeMccoolname: AwesomeMcCoolName: "WE ARE NAMING OUR KID EMMETTALIE IF WE EVER GET ONE...BOY OR GIRL, THAT'S IT'S NAME. IT'LL KICK THIS KID'S ASS. THE MIDDLE NAME IS GOING TO BE BASEBALL, THOUGH."
Changed line(s) 17,20 (click to see context) from:
* TheBeard: Rosalie becomes convinced Bella and Edward are this to each other.
* [[CantHoldHisLiquor Can't Hold Her Liquor]]: Bella apparently. This is likely just Edward overreacting once again.
* {{Canon}}: In ''Midnight Sun'' it turns out the Cullen's really do have family meetings. And Edward says himself in ''Breaking Dawn'' that he had a lot of time to pick up hobbies, since he wasn't involved with anyone.
* CharacterExaggeration: Half - no, ''all'' - of the fun.
* [[CantHoldHisLiquor Can't Hold Her Liquor]]: Bella apparently. This is likely just Edward overreacting once again.
* {{Canon}}: In ''Midnight Sun'' it turns out the Cullen's really do have family meetings. And Edward says himself in ''Breaking Dawn'' that he had a lot of time to pick up hobbies, since he wasn't involved with anyone.
* CharacterExaggeration: Half - no, ''all'' - of the fun.
to:
* TheBeard: Rosalie becomes convinced that Bella and Edward are this to each other.
* [[CantHoldHisLiquor Can't Hold Her Liquor]]:Bella Bella, apparently. This is likely almost certainly just Edward overreacting once again.
* {{Canon}}: In''Midnight Sun'' ''Literature/MidnightSun'', it turns out is revealed that the Cullen's Cullens really do have family meetings. And Edward says himself in ''Breaking Dawn'' that he had a lot of time to pick up hobbies, since he wasn't involved with anyone.
* CharacterExaggeration:Half - no, ''all'' - of Half--no, ''all''--of the fun.
* [[CantHoldHisLiquor Can't Hold Her Liquor]]:
* {{Canon}}: In
* CharacterExaggeration:
Changed line(s) 25 (click to see context) from:
--> ''DUDE YOUR KID IS LIKE 8 MONTHS OLD AND MAKING GOO-GOO EYES AT THE DOG. I DON'T LIKE IT.''
to:
Changed line(s) 29 (click to see context) from:
* EverythingIsBetterWithMonkeys: Subverted when Edward flees to South America to deal with the break-up."VERMIN! LEAVE ME!"
to:
* EverythingIsBetterWithMonkeys: Subverted when Edward flees to South America to deal with the break-up. "VERMIN! LEAVE ME!"
Changed line(s) 31 (click to see context) from:
--> ''"MUST YOU PISTOL WHIP EVERYONE, EMMETT?"''
to:
Changed line(s) 41 (click to see context) from:
* MurderSimulators: When Emmett changes the music in the Volvo of Justice from Music/{{Nickelback}} to [[Music/FiftyCent 50 Cent]], Edward uses this argument.
to:
* MurderSimulators: When Emmett changes the music in the Volvo of Justice from Music/{{Nickelback}} to [[Music/FiftyCent 50 Cent]], Music/FiftyCent, Edward uses this argument.
Changed line(s) 44 (click to see context) from:
-->''"THIS IS GROSS, HOW DO YOU WE LIVE LIKE THIS?"''
to:
Changed line(s) 50 (click to see context) from:
* PunctuatedForEmphasis: JASPER I KNOW YOU ARE LAUGHING. I CAN READ. YOUR. MIND.
to:
* PunctuatedForEmphasis: JASPER "JASPER I KNOW YOU ARE LAUGHING. I CAN READ. YOUR. MIND."
Changed line(s) 60,61 (click to see context) from:
--> "IT DID NOT GO WHERE YOU TOLD ME"
* StalkerWithACrush: Edward, though that is canon.
* StalkerWithACrush: Edward, though that is canon.
to:
* StalkerWithACrush: Edward, though that is
Changed line(s) 63 (click to see context) from:
* YouNeedToGetLaid: Edward ''really'' needs to get laid. (Though judging by the parts set after ''Breaking Dawn'', it didn't help much.)
to:
* YouNeedToGetLaid: Edward ''really'' needs to get laid. (Though (Unfortunately, judging by the parts set after ''Breaking Dawn'', it didn't help much.)
Is there an issue? Send a MessageReason:
None
Added DiffLines:
* TheTalk: Edward discovers much too late that he should have asked Jasper or Carlisle instead of Emmett for advice.
--> "IT DID NOT GO WHERE YOU TOLD ME"
--> "IT DID NOT GO WHERE YOU TOLD ME"
Is there an issue? Send a MessageReason:
None
Added DiffLines:
->''"EMMETT CAN YOU KEEP IT DOWN I AM READING PROUST!!!!"''
Once upon a time, the obsession known as ''Literature/{{Twilight}}'' was and is still a great source of parody around the Internet. Mid-2008, two LJ-ers by the names of saint_renegade and oxymoronassoc went on a RP-ing session that greatly exaggerated the characters of ''Twilight'', especially Edward and Emmett Cullen.
In short, ''Literature/{{Twilight}}'' was TurnedUpToEleven.
Icons and approval abounded, and in total five RP-ing sessions were posted, one official batch of icons, and [[FountainOfMemes many, many, many quotes.]]
Can be read [[http://oxymoronassoc.livejournal.com/462027.html here]].
----
!!Tropes:
* ActorAllusion: "NO I DO NOT THINK IT BIG HEADED TO THINK THAT I AM AS HANDSOME AS [[Film/HarryPotter CEDRIC]]. IT IS JUST A FACT OF LIFE"
* AllMenArePerverts[=/=]AllWomenArePrudes: Edward assumes that the kinkier aspects of Emmett and Rosalie's relationship are all Emmett's idea, since Rosalie is "TOO PURE FOR SUCH THINGS."
* AwesomeMccoolname: "WE ARE NAMING OUR KID EMMETTALIE IF WE EVER GET ONE...BOY OR GIRL, THAT'S IT'S NAME. IT'LL KICK THIS KID'S ASS. THE MIDDLE NAME IS GOING TO BE BASEBALL, THOUGH."
* TheAtoner: Edward becomes this whenever he breaks stuff.
* AutoErotica: Edward is horrified to learn that Emmett and Rosalie have had sex in his car.
* TheBeard: Rosalie becomes convinced Bella and Edward are this to each other.
* [[CantHoldHisLiquor Can't Hold Her Liquor]]: Bella apparently. This is likely just Edward overreacting once again.
* {{Canon}}: In ''Midnight Sun'' it turns out the Cullen's really do have family meetings. And Edward says himself in ''Breaking Dawn'' that he had a lot of time to pick up hobbies, since he wasn't involved with anyone.
* CharacterExaggeration: Half - no, ''all'' - of the fun.
** AlternateCharacterInterpretation
* ChivalrousPervert: Emmett when he thinks Edward is raping Bella. "THERE ARE RULES."
* ComedicSociopathy: Edward's tendencies toward stalking...and emotional abuse...and being pissy...
* CreepyChild: Renesmee. Emmett especially is creeped out by her power and the WifeHusbandry.
--> ''DUDE YOUR KID IS LIKE 8 MONTHS OLD AND MAKING GOO-GOO EYES AT THE DOG. I DON'T LIKE IT.''
* DigitalPiracyIsEvil: "THESE PEOPLE HAVE TO FEED THEIR FAMILES YOU KNOW"
* DirtyMindReading: "YOUR MIND CONFUSES ME EMMETT, PLEASE GO BACK TO THINKING ABOUT FOOTBALL...NO! NO EMMETT I SAID FOOTBALL, MY GOODNESS. NO I DO NOT WONDER WHAT [BELLA] LOOKS LIKE NAKED"
* EmoTeen: Edward, to a ludicrous extent.
* EverythingIsBetterWithMonkeys: Subverted when Edward flees to South America to deal with the break-up."VERMIN! LEAVE ME!"
* FamilyUnfriendlyViolence: How Edward sees Emmett's video-game habits.
--> ''"MUST YOU PISTOL WHIP EVERYONE, EMMETT?"''
* FreudianExcuse: "THESE YOUNG WOMEN HAVE OBVIOUSLY HAD A HARD LIFE SO THEY HAD TO SELL THEIR BODIES ON THE STREETS."
* HomemadeSweaterFromHell: Edward knits to get out his aggression.
* IAmAMonster: Word for word when Edward breaks Emmett's stereo and LET HIS CONTROL SLIP. And again when he uses the word "[[PrecisionFStrike dick]]."
* IkeaErotica: "IT SEEMS PRETTY SIMPLE TO ME, EDWARD" "INSERT TAB A INTO SLOT B"
* IntercourseWithYou: "NO EMMETT I DO NOT THINK THAT SONG IS ABOUT COPULATION."
* TheInternetIsForPorn: This too offends Edward.
* IvyLeagueForEveryOne: At least according to Edward.
* JerkJock: Emmett.
* AManIsNotAVirgin: Averted with Edward.
* MurderSimulators: When Emmett changes the music in the Volvo of Justice from Music/{{Nickelback}} to [[Music/FiftyCent 50 Cent]], Edward uses this argument.
* MyGirlIsNotASlut: "NO I DO NOT THINK SHE HAS HAD CARNAL RELATIONS WITH MIKE."
* NeatFreak: Did you know Edward will scrub the grout on the bathroom with a toothbrush?
-->''"THIS IS GROSS, HOW DO YOU WE LIVE LIKE THIS?"''
* NoIndoorVoice: All of Edward's lines ARE IN CAPITALS. Emmett's too.
** Most of the time. Sometimes the lines will revert to normal writing, which just makes it funnier when they go back to screaming at each other.
* NoPeriodsPeriod: Averted. Alice advises Bella on what to do for Edward's sake. And, y'know, ''[[StalkerWithACrush Edward tracks Bella's periods]]''.
* NotSoDifferent: Emmett can rant and throw tantrums just as well as Edward when his buttons are pushed. Especially if sports are involved.
* PrettyFlyForAWhiteGuy: Emmett.
* PunctuatedForEmphasis: JASPER I KNOW YOU ARE LAUGHING. I CAN READ. YOUR. MIND.
* TheQuietOne: Jasper never says anything, though he's just as antagonistic toward Edward as Emmett is.
* RightThroughTheWall: Rosalie is loud just to fuck with Edward's ship-in-a-bottle.
* SensitiveGuyAndManlyMan: Edward and Emmett, obviously.
* SeriousBusiness: Everything is this with Edward. Scrapbooking. Cleaning. Knitting. Everything.
* SexySantaDress: Emmett tries to get Rosalie to wear one.
* ShotgunWedding: "YES, IF JACOB KNOCKED RENESSME UP I WOULD MAKE THEM MARRY POSTHASTE. IT WOULD ONLY BE PROPER."
* SophisticatedAsHell: Given Edward tends to speak primarily in archaic patterns, some of the more casual words stand out a little.
* TheStraightMan: Jasper is this to Emmett.
* StalkerWithACrush: Edward, though that is canon.
* TeamPet: Emmett refers to Jacob as a dog or pet.
* YouNeedToGetLaid: Edward ''really'' needs to get laid. (Though judging by the parts set after ''Breaking Dawn'', it didn't help much.)
----
Once upon a time, the obsession known as ''Literature/{{Twilight}}'' was and is still a great source of parody around the Internet. Mid-2008, two LJ-ers by the names of saint_renegade and oxymoronassoc went on a RP-ing session that greatly exaggerated the characters of ''Twilight'', especially Edward and Emmett Cullen.
In short, ''Literature/{{Twilight}}'' was TurnedUpToEleven.
Icons and approval abounded, and in total five RP-ing sessions were posted, one official batch of icons, and [[FountainOfMemes many, many, many quotes.]]
Can be read [[http://oxymoronassoc.livejournal.com/462027.html here]].
----
!!Tropes:
* ActorAllusion: "NO I DO NOT THINK IT BIG HEADED TO THINK THAT I AM AS HANDSOME AS [[Film/HarryPotter CEDRIC]]. IT IS JUST A FACT OF LIFE"
* AllMenArePerverts[=/=]AllWomenArePrudes: Edward assumes that the kinkier aspects of Emmett and Rosalie's relationship are all Emmett's idea, since Rosalie is "TOO PURE FOR SUCH THINGS."
* AwesomeMccoolname: "WE ARE NAMING OUR KID EMMETTALIE IF WE EVER GET ONE...BOY OR GIRL, THAT'S IT'S NAME. IT'LL KICK THIS KID'S ASS. THE MIDDLE NAME IS GOING TO BE BASEBALL, THOUGH."
* TheAtoner: Edward becomes this whenever he breaks stuff.
* AutoErotica: Edward is horrified to learn that Emmett and Rosalie have had sex in his car.
* TheBeard: Rosalie becomes convinced Bella and Edward are this to each other.
* [[CantHoldHisLiquor Can't Hold Her Liquor]]: Bella apparently. This is likely just Edward overreacting once again.
* {{Canon}}: In ''Midnight Sun'' it turns out the Cullen's really do have family meetings. And Edward says himself in ''Breaking Dawn'' that he had a lot of time to pick up hobbies, since he wasn't involved with anyone.
* CharacterExaggeration: Half - no, ''all'' - of the fun.
** AlternateCharacterInterpretation
* ChivalrousPervert: Emmett when he thinks Edward is raping Bella. "THERE ARE RULES."
* ComedicSociopathy: Edward's tendencies toward stalking...and emotional abuse...and being pissy...
* CreepyChild: Renesmee. Emmett especially is creeped out by her power and the WifeHusbandry.
--> ''DUDE YOUR KID IS LIKE 8 MONTHS OLD AND MAKING GOO-GOO EYES AT THE DOG. I DON'T LIKE IT.''
* DigitalPiracyIsEvil: "THESE PEOPLE HAVE TO FEED THEIR FAMILES YOU KNOW"
* DirtyMindReading: "YOUR MIND CONFUSES ME EMMETT, PLEASE GO BACK TO THINKING ABOUT FOOTBALL...NO! NO EMMETT I SAID FOOTBALL, MY GOODNESS. NO I DO NOT WONDER WHAT [BELLA] LOOKS LIKE NAKED"
* EmoTeen: Edward, to a ludicrous extent.
* EverythingIsBetterWithMonkeys: Subverted when Edward flees to South America to deal with the break-up."VERMIN! LEAVE ME!"
* FamilyUnfriendlyViolence: How Edward sees Emmett's video-game habits.
--> ''"MUST YOU PISTOL WHIP EVERYONE, EMMETT?"''
* FreudianExcuse: "THESE YOUNG WOMEN HAVE OBVIOUSLY HAD A HARD LIFE SO THEY HAD TO SELL THEIR BODIES ON THE STREETS."
* HomemadeSweaterFromHell: Edward knits to get out his aggression.
* IAmAMonster: Word for word when Edward breaks Emmett's stereo and LET HIS CONTROL SLIP. And again when he uses the word "[[PrecisionFStrike dick]]."
* IkeaErotica: "IT SEEMS PRETTY SIMPLE TO ME, EDWARD" "INSERT TAB A INTO SLOT B"
* IntercourseWithYou: "NO EMMETT I DO NOT THINK THAT SONG IS ABOUT COPULATION."
* TheInternetIsForPorn: This too offends Edward.
* IvyLeagueForEveryOne: At least according to Edward.
* JerkJock: Emmett.
* AManIsNotAVirgin: Averted with Edward.
* MurderSimulators: When Emmett changes the music in the Volvo of Justice from Music/{{Nickelback}} to [[Music/FiftyCent 50 Cent]], Edward uses this argument.
* MyGirlIsNotASlut: "NO I DO NOT THINK SHE HAS HAD CARNAL RELATIONS WITH MIKE."
* NeatFreak: Did you know Edward will scrub the grout on the bathroom with a toothbrush?
-->''"THIS IS GROSS, HOW DO YOU WE LIVE LIKE THIS?"''
* NoIndoorVoice: All of Edward's lines ARE IN CAPITALS. Emmett's too.
** Most of the time. Sometimes the lines will revert to normal writing, which just makes it funnier when they go back to screaming at each other.
* NoPeriodsPeriod: Averted. Alice advises Bella on what to do for Edward's sake. And, y'know, ''[[StalkerWithACrush Edward tracks Bella's periods]]''.
* NotSoDifferent: Emmett can rant and throw tantrums just as well as Edward when his buttons are pushed. Especially if sports are involved.
* PrettyFlyForAWhiteGuy: Emmett.
* PunctuatedForEmphasis: JASPER I KNOW YOU ARE LAUGHING. I CAN READ. YOUR. MIND.
* TheQuietOne: Jasper never says anything, though he's just as antagonistic toward Edward as Emmett is.
* RightThroughTheWall: Rosalie is loud just to fuck with Edward's ship-in-a-bottle.
* SensitiveGuyAndManlyMan: Edward and Emmett, obviously.
* SeriousBusiness: Everything is this with Edward. Scrapbooking. Cleaning. Knitting. Everything.
* SexySantaDress: Emmett tries to get Rosalie to wear one.
* ShotgunWedding: "YES, IF JACOB KNOCKED RENESSME UP I WOULD MAKE THEM MARRY POSTHASTE. IT WOULD ONLY BE PROPER."
* SophisticatedAsHell: Given Edward tends to speak primarily in archaic patterns, some of the more casual words stand out a little.
* TheStraightMan: Jasper is this to Emmett.
* StalkerWithACrush: Edward, though that is canon.
* TeamPet: Emmett refers to Jacob as a dog or pet.
* YouNeedToGetLaid: Edward ''really'' needs to get laid. (Though judging by the parts set after ''Breaking Dawn'', it didn't help much.)
----
