A Man Is Not A Virgin - Television Tropes & Idioms

alt title(s): My Guy Is A Slut

"Whatever else a man may be, he is not a virgin."

—Doogie Howser

While teenagers Cant Get Away With Nuthin, and characters in slasher films often suffer Death By Sex, it is understood that the leading male must be sexually active. A guy who has never Done It, or even just does not Do It often, is simply Not Man Enough to save the day, solve the mystery or whatever. It doesn't matter whether sexual experience is in any way relevant to the skills needed in the plot, he just has to be Man Enough so he has to have Done It and preferably Do It Regularly. That's How It Is. Don't Argue.

Establishing the character's sexual competence varies from seeing a beautiful blonde, who has nothing to do with the plot and no lines to speak, crossing or leaving his bedroom early on in the film, to references to his ex-wife or old flames. Generally, however, the more macho Action Heroes don't have wives or steady girlfriends when the adventure starts, because that would stop them from hooking up with the female lead. We just have to be made aware that she is far from being the first beautiful woman he's had. (Direct-to-DVD movies often get much lazier about this and combine it with the requisite sex scene, and will often have the male protagonist have sex with a few girls on screen while he's in the process of falling for the female protagonist.)

It also, of course, serves to make the audience absolutely and totally sure that their hero is ardently heterosexual. After all, while homosexual or bisexual characters are becoming more and more common, the number of them that are leading characters can probably be counted on one hand. Establishing the male lead's heterosexuality assures the majority of the audience that it is thusly safe for women to want him and men to want to be him.

"Oh sure, Hollywood loves gay people for decorating their houses or doing their hair. But saving the world? No way."

—CSI Miami

Note that the term "virgin" originally meant "a female who has not had sex with a man", and thus literally no male was ever a virgin. The definition became more vague as language evolved.

Popular sub-tropes:

Sex as rite-of-passage: The character is desperately trying to have sex to establish his manhood.
Sexually active sidekick: On the rare occasions that the lead character is sworn to chastity, or else so single minded that he has no time for sex, he will often have a sidekick who is, or wishes to be, sexually active. This seems to be so that the audience won't think the heroes are "queer".
Rape As Comedy: In the extreme case, a man could never not want to have sex with a woman.

Compare My Girl Is Not A Slut. Contrast Chaste Hero, Celibate Hero and Nature Adores A Virgin.

Examples:

Anime

In Gundam SEED, Kira Yamato loses his virginity to Flay Alster, his troubled crush and girlfriend. This raised quite the Fan Wank among fans since it made him the first Gundam main lead to have sex onscreen. It's also a bit subverted, since said sex scene is actually quite important for their Character Development: Flay manages to worm her way into Kira's heart and will through that, since it was comfort sex after a rather traumatic fight for Kira. Since Flay is a Yandere who blames Kira for "letting her father die", her intentions were anything but benevolent...
- Double for the novelization for Mobile Suit Gundam, Amuro had sex with Sayla whom Pillow Talk was rather dark as she wants her brother dead. And lets not get started in the Novelization of Chars Counterattack, where the first couple of pages details Amuro having one last bit of sex with Beltochika before his final battle against Char
Subverted in Gun X Sword: A recurring gag is that Van, Celibate Hero that he is, usually tries to keep women from getting too close by telling them "I'm a virgin". As he appears to not have had any interest in women before meeting his (soon-to-be-late) bride, he's probably telling the truth.
Subverted hard by Vash of Trigun. He has a Badass Longcoat, Cool Shades, not one but two badass nicknames ("the Stampede, the Humanoid Typhoon,"), a 60 billion-double-dollarbounty on his head, and a very large gun. About the only thing he didn't have going for him was a giant robot. And if he got any action in the course of the series, this troper can't remember it.
- Vash is OFFERED sex by two women following his saving the town by defeating the Nebraska's and allowing them to claim the reward. He acts drunk, and like he's passed out and they leave disappointed, while we are treated to a shot of an open eyed and completely sober Vash looking regretful but determined.
- Several manga Omakes might suggest that Nicholas D. Wolfwood is only active with his grotesque blow-up doll -which makes some sense since he's actually in his late teens, much younger than in the anime, has been busy surviving with debilitating traumas and a spectacular lack of social skills, and is more than awkward with women (including Millie). The anime suggests he has more experience and acts as a foil to Vash's obvious frustration.
- Knives also subverts this trope despite being the insane Big Bad. It's safe to assume he's probably a virgin, considering that he finds humans completely vulgar and has a huge brother complex.
  - Considering that Knives and Vash are Plants and merely LOOK human, and that the plants seem to be able to change shapes, the fact that they both appear to male may simply be due to Rem's conceptions of them.
Averted in Code Geass. Despite Milly, Shirley, C.C., Kallen, and Kaguya all making advances toward Lelouch in one form or another, he remains a virgin for the entire series.
Gene Starwind in Outlaw Star. It is made quite clear that he has slept with many women before the heroine even shows up.
- All in which is treated as a sign of immaturity and emotional distance, so not exactly adhering to the trope.
Even Suguru Misato form Mahoromatic, who is usually considered as the dorky harem male lead. To be fair, it was after the time skip.
Averted by implication in Hellsing of all things - since true vampires can only be turned from virgins, Alucard, Seras Victoria, Integral Hellsing, and the priest-vampire who appears at the beginning obviously managed to avoid sex far beyond the supposed norm.
- Not Alucard, he became a Vampire another way.
Massively subverted in Katekyo Hitman Reborn, where 99% of the male characters are very obviously virgins. Of course, the target audience seems to be women, so...
Just name most Harem Anime for Shounen averts the trope in general, guy remains cockblocked to the very end. Seinen will at time invoke upon this trope.
Subverted in Full Metal Panic with Sousuke. Despite being through many horrible wars, being a military man, and being at the age where he should be going through puberty, Sousuke has as much understanding about sex as a 5 year old. It's pretty safe to assume he's a virgin when he thinks that condoms are for storing water, "kissing" is a synonym for CPR, and "flirting" is trapping girls in cages and holding them captive at gunpoint. Seriously, you don't get more chaste than him.
In Tenjou Tenge and Air Gear, most of the male protagonist's friends has have sex, the guy however is still a virgin.

Comic Books

Subverted in Sin City, in which it is implied that Marv — the big, tough, near-invincible badass — in having "the night of his life" with Goldie, and lost his virginity to her. Marv specifically says that not even any of the city's numerous prostitutes would come near him due to his enormous stature, tough looks, and violent reputation, the implication being that certainly no non-prostitute would come within a mile of him.

Film

The trope was challenged, if not actually subverted, in The Wicker Man (1973), where the hero's religiously inspired chastity is a major part of the plot.
- The 2006 remake entirely omits the hero's religion and chastity. Seriously, who'd buy Nicolas Cage as a virgin?
Sean Connery is a virgin in The Name of the Rose (he plays a monk), but his sidekick is given a sex scene (despite also being a monk). In all fairness, though, this is faithful to the events of the book. Note also that the characters in the book are very heavily based on Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson.
James Bond. Enough said.
Sam Spade and most other Film Noir/Hard-Boiled Detective heroes.
- There are two egregious examples of this in the nonetheless excellent Bogart/Bacall version of The Big Sleep. The film adds not only a romance between Marlowe and Vivian not present in the novel, but also a scene where Marlowe seduces a Hot Librarian just to kill time on a stakeout. (Admittedly, the "horse racing" dialogue from one of the Marlowe/Vivian scenes is a classic of on-screen flirtation, but that doesn't make it any less irrelevant to the plot.)
- Author Raymond Chandler once said of Philip Marlowe, "I think he might seduce a duchess, and I am quite sure he would not spoil a virgin."
Thoroughly, thoroughly subverted in the early Jim Carrey film Once Bitten, in which the only reason the vampire's interested in the protagonist at all is because it's so hard to find a male virgin these days: she has to bite a virgin to retain her youth, isn't interested in girls, and is having a tough time finding a boy over puberty who hasn't had sex yet. Not so subverted, considering the day is finally saved when he has sex with his girlfriend, making him useless to the vampire.
The 40-Year-Old Virgin was all about the hero's attempts to lose his virginity. In a minor subversion, however, his male friends — who had all had sex and were eagerly egging him on — were in many ways much bigger losers than he was, and were certainly far more infantile and immature about sex, compared to the affable and handsome hero. One critic pointed that even his "unmanly" preference for bike riding rather than using a car or a motorcycle works to the hero's favor since it helps keep him in great shape and attractive to women.
Subverted in Hocus Pocus, a candle with a black flame is prophetized to resurrect a trio of witches if a Virgin were to light it. Initially one would suspect the the little girl in the witch's costume would be the one to light it. But no, it was the main, male character Max who lit the candle. The cursed-as-an-immortal-cat Binx spelled this fact out in case the viewers forgot the Virgin clause.
- Lamp Shaded in the conversation with the cop on the motorcycle. "I'll get it tattooed on my forehead, alright!?"
  - The movie makes an incredibly big deal of the fact that Max is a virgin leading up to the scene, and the only reason they let up after is too much shit is going on. Even his miniscule bitch of a sister, who should be too young to have any idea about the concept, snipes at him about it. Whether they're trying to make sure we don't get confused when he lights the candle and sets off the spell, or just bad writers, is a moot point since if you watch the movie you realize it's both.
Subverted in Hitman. Despite Nika's constant advances, 47 still turned her down. Naturally, this has started a rumor that 47 is gay.
- Same with the games (kinda), but 47 is a clone Super Soldier so he probly has no sex drive.
The Terminator. Averted with the hero Kyle Reese, though it's not clear whether he's never slept with a woman, or just doesn't have a "special" girl in his future Crapsack World. Either way, his sleeping with the heroine is not a rite of passage but an important plot point.
In National Lampoon's Van Wilder: The Rise of Taj, Taj joins the Mile High Club within the first two minutes of the film's beginning, for no particular reason other than comedy and demonstrating that although he's a Bollywood Nerd, he's not a virgin.
Totally subverted in Born On The Fourth Of July where the protagonist (played by Tom Cruise) is a wrestling star in high school who loses his final match, much to the disappointment of his parents, goes off to Vietnam to prove his manhood, and gets his legs blown off. He then loses his high school sweetheart, who he had been saving himself for (who remains his friend and gets him involved in the anti-war movement). In a fit of despair, he moves to a whorehouse in Mexico frequented by boozy, PTSD'd Vietnam War paraplegics and attempts to lose his virginity (more or less) to an attractive girl there. He doesn't enjoy it much.

Literature

Dr. Watson mentioned at several times that Sherlock Holmes has no interest in women. However, in the tradition of a sexually active sidekick, Watson boasts that he has had experience of the women of five continents! He marries the heroine at the end of The Sign of Four, marries again some time before The Lion's Mane, and shows interest in ladies at various other points. As Holmes puts it, "Watson, the fair sex is your department."
- All of a sudden The Star Trek The Next Generation Holmes and Watson holodeck scenario seems a lot more ironically amusing for Geordi.
- Watson's reputation as a ladies' man didn't stop publication of the pastiche My Dearest Holmes, in which our heroes are a gay couple.
- Both Holmes' sexlessness and Watson's roving eye (and the facts that Watson is the older of the two, they met as adults, and the supernatural plays no part in their adventures) were blatantly disregarded through terrible adaptation decay in Spielberg's Young Sherlock Holmes.
  - Keeping in mind that the film (though ignoring canon in many, many respects) actually presents its events as the reason Holmes isn't interested in women: his True Love, Elizabeth, dies towards the end.
Harry Dresden of The Dresden Files spends many books being chaste as his girlfriend is almost turned into a vampire by being involved with him. The trauma keeps him from getting too intimate. His sidekick & half-brother Thomas is very active. But he's an incubus, and needs sex to live, sooooo...
- Possibly as a foil for Harry's prolonged chastity, in "White Night," it is revealed that the young and talented Carlos Ramirez, self-styled Casanova, is actually a virgin. Harry spends the entire climactic fight scene teasing him about it. This troper notes that seeing as how Harry has gone over four years without sex at this point, this character is just about the only person he *can* tease on this point. Even the polka-obsessed forensic pathologist Butters has had sex more recently than he has. This troper also ships Ramirez with the most experienced virgin in world history, Molly Carpenter, like *Fed Ex*.
- Dresden's uneventful sex life is at least partly related to his ethics. On one occasion he spurns sex with his new apprentice, Molly, teenage daughter of his friend and comrade-in-arms Michael Carpenter. At that point she is, by her own admission, still a "technical virgin," and Dresden enjoins her, as a condition of apprenticeship, to move back in with her parents and have nothing at all to do with boys for the indefinite future. It's got nothing to do with Virgin Power, he's simply trying to be a responsible father-figure to her.
  - Of course, Harry denying sex with Molly may have less to do with honor and more to do with Molly being the teenage daughter of his friend.
Averted notably in the person of Michael Szczgielniak in Elizabeth Bear's Promethean Age books: not only is he a virgin (for most of the first two in which he appears, anyway) he's virgin powered.
In Robert Sheckly's short story Feeding Time (1953), a male bookworm nerd happens upon a strange book in a strange antique book shop: 'Care and Feeding of the Gryphon'. The book explains that the gryphon's sole food are virgins. Despite his extensive collection of pornographic literature, the protagonist is intrigued by the, hm, implications. Although he briefly wonders where you get enough "innocent" young women from. He decides to become a gryphon keeper and follows the instructions given in the book... one spell later, he wakes up in a green field. And looking up, he sees the gryphon majestically swooping down on him, claws extended. He cries out in protest that the sole food of the gryphon should be virgins... then realizes the irony of the situation, instants before he is eaten.
Each Knight In Shining Armor in The Faerie Queene represents a different virtue. The Knight of Chastity, Britomart, is also the only female knight.
In the entire romance novel genre it is extraordinary for the hero to be virginal. In fact they are often famous for their lechery. Until recently some romantic heroines were virgins until the heroic rake got his mitts on them...even when they were widows who had been married for years.
In Tamora Pierce's The Immortals quartet, many hints are dropped about the teacher mage Numair Salmalin's numerous sexual peccadilloes - in the fourth book, Realms Of The Gods, he tells his student and love interest Daine that "You of all people should know that I have been involved with ladies of the court!". And in another scene his temptation after drinking the water of a magical lake is said by Daine to be... "a blue skinned, naked female with a large chest - exactly the type of woman [he] would go for"
Subverted in A Prayer for Owen Meaney by John Irving, where despite recounting his teenage efforts, an adult John Wheelwright admits he's still "just another Joseph."
Subverted in William Faulkner's The Sound and the Fury with Quentin, who remains a virgin until he commits suicide. At one point his sister asks him if he's ever had sex but knows that he's lying when he says yes. He even tries to tell his father that he has had sex with his sister - to save her - and his father doesn't believe him.
Averted in The Obsidian Trilogy: the hero is not only a virgin but is expected to remain so for a year and a day in order to repay a unicorn who saves his life.
Averted in Kushiel's Legacy which describes Imriel losing his virginity in great detail. Imriel had previously been sex abuse survivor so it was a big deal for himt overcome of his old fears.

Live Action TV

The episode of Doogie Howser MD quoted above.
The Young Ones, episode "Time", includes a long fight occasioned by Vyvyan mocking Rick's virginity. Another episode of the same show, "Nasty", shows the whole cast reluctant to confess virginity in the face of a vampire who drinks virgin blood.
Rick: What, me? Rick? A virgin? Ha, ha, ha! Just try telling that to some of the foxy chicks who owe me favours!
Neil: Well if Rick's not a virgin, then I'm not either!
House M.D.'s titular character is the mostly chaste one. Other than his New Old Flame, Stacy, and one or two hookers, House is never seen in sexual situations. True to the trope, House's best friend James Wilson, as the Watson to his Holmes, has been married (and divorced) three times, keeps being Mistaken For Cheating, and is generally assumed by House to be sleeping with anything in a skirt.
- On that note, House also walks with a limp.
- It is implied more than once that House is not as chaste as he seems - he merely doesn't talk about it, but everybody knows.
  Cameron: ...you and George have the same taste in home furnishings and women.
  House: Danish modern and Russian gymnasts?
  Cameron: Pianos and prostitutes.
Knight Rider (2008 Pilot Movie): the first time we see Mike Traceur, he's in bed with a random woman. Then another scantily clad woman returns to the bed to drive the point home. They do almost the same in the first scene of FBI agent Rivai, with another mostly naked blond woman. The twist: agent Rivai is a lesbian.
In the Firefly episode "Jaynestown," a local magistrate hires Inara to sleep with his 26-year-old-virgin son, supposedly in order to "make him a man." After they have sex, the son is disappointed that he doesn't feel fundamentally different. He asks, "Aren't I supposed to be a man now?" She answers, "A man is just a boy who is old enough to ask that question. Our time together is a symbol; it means something to your father. But it doesn't make you a man. You do that yourself."
- Later on you get the equivalent (for well-written media) of Crow T. Robot shouting "PLOT POINT!"
  - Ironic Echo. It's so much fun.
Supernatural: While Sam has his Cartwright Curse (although it doesn't stop him from having hot werewolf sex), Dean sleeps with anything that has a pulse (or doesn't, considering his necrophilia comments). However, it's been implied that this might not be such a good thing, with Sam finding it hard to believe that he could even manage a long-term relationship and thinking he's a slut with no standards - see Tall Tales - Dean thinking the same thing, as suggested by his ouch-worthy "Yeah, that sounds like me" in What Is And Should Never Be when Alt!Sam confronts him on having slept with his girlfriend on prom night, one of the seven sins calling him a "walking billboard of lust and gluttony", fans calling him pretty much a whore (not always nicely, either) and his actor teasing that he might have to be a hooker to pay their bills.
- Subverted and invoked by Supernatural, when, after his return from Hell Dean says he's been "re-virginized" and talks about wanting to "pop his cherry" as soon as possible. Sam's response? "Yeah, not even an angel could do that.
Subverted in Lois and Clark, where Superman is revealed to be a virgin. He had some legitimate concerns (see "Man of Steel, Woman of Kleenex").
Subverted in The Prisoner where Number 6 is deliberately never shown to possess any kind of sexual desire, in contast to the James Bond inspired spy image of the time. Naturally, theories about his sexuality abound, with much being made of the fact that the one time he even goes so far as to kiss a woman, he's in another man's body.
- This was likely at Patrick McGoohan's behest. His contract for Danger Man specified that Mc Goohan would not be called on to do even a kissing scene. He also is thought to have turned down the role of James Bond on moral grounds.
Possibly subverted on Pushing Daisies: Ned claims he's he's not a virgin, but he is spectacularly inexperienced at romance and may be exaggerating his conquests.
- Then again, it's hard to imagine someone as awkward and uncomfortable as Ned fabricating a story like having sex on a bearskin rug... which then came to life.
- He never explicity denied being a virgin. The spoilered incident above had him use the words "intimate relations", which could mean anything.
Captain Kirk. In a specific example, the episode "Bread and Circuses" has the bad guys give Kirk a hot female slave for the night who must do whatever he commands. It is implied that they have sex, of course, and the next morning the Big Bad tells Kirk that he decided to let him "be a man" before executing him.
- TNG made a bit of a deal out of Geordi La Forge not being able to get a date with a woman (even though he did, on several occasions, even if one of them was a Hologram).
  - This Troper heard a rumour bouncing around corners of the internet that this portrayal was compensating for the idea that in his original character conception, Geordi was gay. Whether this was true is anybody's guess
Brazenly, and almost certainly intentionally, subverted by Fox Mulder in The X Files, who, despite the character's large female fan base, not only didn't have any relationships throughout much of the series, and hardly ever showed interest in anyone he met, but also turned out to be a pornography addict. Were it not for the introduction of old flame Diana Fowley in the fifth season, viewers could hardly have been blamed for assuming Mulder's a virgin. As it is, even she's presented as a sole exception rather than the rule.
- But then Mulder and Scully eventually discovered each other, and we all know what happened next...
  - Um... what the? An ex-girlfriend showed up in the first season, he had sex with a "vampire" while Scully was missing, and there was lots more stuff throughout the series as well.
Averted in Marcus Cole in Babylon 5, who was a self-professed virgin and quite comfortable that way because he felt he hadn't met the right woman. He did eventually meet her, but died before they could consumate. She is shown lamenting that later
Played to amusing effect in Fighting Spiders. The three main characters are out in the nighttime, in a cemetery no less, and the legend of the 'orang minyak' is brought up: a man covered in oil who goes around (ahem) disturbing virgins. The youngest says that since they are boys they won't be disturbed, but the one who best knows his English points out that virgins can apply to boys too...
In "Monk," the titular character is not explicitly stated to be a virgin, but all of the evidence points in that direction. In one episode he's disgusted by the presence of a nude man, and when Sharona says he must have seen himself nude before, he replies, "Only once. And that was enough." Also, in an episode where he stays over at the home of an attractive woman who's not put off by his severe OCD, he seems to lock up at the very thought of even kissing her. It's likely he and his wife Trudy had a loving, but chaste, marriage.

Web Comics

In Loserz, where two protagonists are virgins and are portrayed as... well... "Loserz." At least, until Eric gets laid, but Ben has no such luck.
In Pandect, Noah is told his true love will be a male "mature lizard Ace who is also a virgin". Since Aces are animals with human souls and bodies, a virgin Ace has never had sex as an animal or a human, and a mature Ace is at least 100 years old, it genuinely shocks Noah when he finally meets one.
Inverted in Misfile, where the originally male protagonist was not only a virgin but hadn't even had a girlfriend, only to discover post-misfile that she had already surrendered her virginity to his best friend and mentor, permanently ruining that relationship.
In Girl Genius, Gilgamesh Wulfenbach becomes embarassed if not outright enraged by the idea that anything has happened between himself and Agatha. Other characters don't understand his anger in the least.
Inverted in General Protection Fault, Nick, despite never having been on a date until his mid to late 20s, chooses to abstain from sex until marriage, and dates the like-minded Ki. Then again, when they are married, they seem to have sex almost constantly on their honeymoon. Hey, they had to wait long enough, what would you do in their place?

Web Original

There are at least three examples in Dr Horribles Sing Along Blog:
- Billy/Dr. Horrible - it's not mentioned whether he's a virgin or not, but he ruminates uncomfortably on Penny and Captain Hammer's relationship. "They're probably going to ...French kiss...or something." This could be virginity or simple deep denial.
- Billy's evil moisture buddy Moist has a double date in Act I, and a hot date in Act III.
- Captain Hammer himself has a line in Act III about how he just might sleep with the same girl twice, and then goes on to announce how he "totally had sex" with Penny.

Western Animation

Oh, Tek! You've obviously had hundreds of girlfriends!
Johnny Bravo. Once a group of Amazons tried to sacrifice him to a volcano god, calling him a "virgin sacrifice." Johnny raises his eyebrow curiously. He says "Virgin? Excuse me lady but I'm not...", but gets cut off with a whack to the head.
- Of course, considering this IS Johnny Bravo we're talking about, he was probably lying.
Not sure if this counts, really, but Reverend Putty of Moral Orel was a virgin, despite having a daughter. The girl's mother used semen from tissues in his trash can to get pregnant. That's right, the man's trash can got more action than he did.