Owner of Dead End
About the points, I can't really say because it heavily depends on the tone and execution you're talking about. There's no real judging to be done until the actual thing, and so far all you've listed are ideas on what you might do regarding the work. Although high school girls have that appeal, keep them would be my personal opinion.
On the whole thing, I feel the main appeal of action anime for many are the premise(not writing) and the animation(not artstyle). If you're going to try and impress someone with an action anime, you want to focus on the animation and directing. The context in which epik battlez with epik musik #135336 occurs is also important, but chances are people'll gobble it up either way. Hence why I don't particularly like 'em after they get going for a while.
Just, you know, put your soul into it, I guess? I like soulful works. Don't be too set on making something generic or original, just write whatever you feel works. I mean, in the end it's going to depend on what animation studio you're going to hire, and with a foreign writer that's pretty hard(Although I hear NGNL's author was Brazillian but that's the exception, not the norm).
"And you must be Jonathan Joestar!" - Sue
Ice Queen
Totally agree on pouring your heart into it. And just to clarify, there's no way I have the money or influence for an anime. 
Something like just a personal pet project comic is what I mean. I emphasise manga here, so music isn't really a factor. However, I can guess the "animation" you mention can roughly translate to the angle, composition and energy in a manga context, and then comes art style.
Owner of Dead End
In manga, it'd be as you've listed. Angle and composition, those two are self-explanatory enough, but 'energy' is something that's pretty much captured in the lines, and thus the artstyle. It's not just the motion lines in the background, but things like line thickness and shading. Complicated shit, I don't know much about it either, but whether in animation or drawing, capturing that action energy will be the most important thing and the hardest thing to tackle, in making an action series. Have fun with that. Just felt like saying that, sorry if it sounded like a lecture.
Lastly, don't be focused on making an anime or manga. View it as making a cartoon. In Japanese, the two terms are what they call everything animated or drawn, but for the rest of the world(English-speaking world anyways), the terminology is cartoon, and 'anime'/'manga' is our way to differentiate between Japanese cartoons and non-Japanese cartoons. When people decide to make an 'anime' or 'manga', they focus too much on that aspect, that differentiation, that it kind of takes away from the spirit of the work, in my opinion.
"And you must be Jonathan Joestar!" - Sue
No, the other one.
First I'd like to say that mecha isn't really my favourite genre. I prefer characters, and mechas tend to draw the attention away from the characters. Especially big ones. Anime/Suiseinogargantia did rather well with the characters, to pick one example, though. Smaller mechas or power armour tend to be better at it, due to the action being closer to the characters.
Age-wise, I prefer at least somewhat older, but it depends on the setting and what they're doing. If it's any kind of military, at least last year of high school, though if it's fantasy you don't necessarily need to keep the same age brackets. For instance you can have a lower school for trainees which leads to a higher school for those who want to pursue it seriously (basically a very connected high school and collage, which does exist in some places). On the other hand that's kind of non-standard, which doesn't seem to be what you're looking for. Also, a military academy can probably pull off uniforms a little easier.
The premise and setting shouldn't be more complicated than the actual story, since that's a relatively common flaw, especially in Light Novel stuff. It can work, but it often just seems like the writer got it above her head.
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Ice Queen
Humongous Mecha are probably rare at best - superweapons you could say. I do prefer Mini-Mecha and especially Powered Armor myself, so I'm glad we agree on that. I feel with a smaller character, the scale and contrast makes for very impressive shots.
Right, military school could definitely work. Closely-linked school levels also work well. I expect multiple factions so not all would operate the same way. Guilds for example would have much looser age limits, if any. Thanks!
Oh, don't worry about the premise and setting. I shy away from writing too complex stories these days because I get lost trying to make sense of my own stuff. You mean stuff like Mahouka Koukou No Rettosei's uber-complex magic system and politics? No problem; that's not my field.
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No no, not at all. You're not lecturing, I get what you're saying. I like stuff like that too so consciously implementing them isn't a bother.
And got it about definitions. Though I am going to use very "anime-y" tropes, I'll obviously put my own spin on things, which is tinged with influences from Western games and film, too.
Working on a manga. With pictures! All feedback welcome!
Fuck you, Fascist sympathizers
For me, premise in anime is almost always the X in Come For The X Stay For The Y. Nearly always, equally, the Y is good writing (or at least non-sucky writing that ruins the good premise).
No, the other one.
So basically you never know what you're getting into?
Though most things I stay for aren't obvious before actually starting to watch. But then I tend to come for the premise or setting, since that's often the only thing I know, and stay if I like what I see. As I just mentioned in a PM to someone completely unrelated to this thread (who may or may not have a black cat as an avatar), I tend to stay for the characters and their interactions. Which is also what I come looking for.
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I'm gonna second almost everything danna and Another Duck said. Although a premise and world like what you have is good enough to get people interested in a story, you need something more intimate to get the audience to care - that is, characters.
With those things in mind, what would this story be about, ultimately, summed up in a single sentence?
Ice Queen
Well, I've never actually considered anything so far, but if I had to pick one as a working topic, it'd be "Hope in the face of overwhelming odds, and the courage to search for things bigger than yourself."
There's an idea about an official state-run group of hunters being opposed by more freelance heroes-to-be who have the guts to go out and fight, but refuse to be indoctrinated by the state. Because of this conflict they lose sight of their common goal and enemy - the monsters.
And, yeah. Characters, of course. I got those. Well, concepts and sketches anyway.
Working on a manga. With pictures! All feedback welcome!
For me, I find it helps if you sketch out answers to the obvious questions about the setting, like:
Where do the Kaiju come from? Why are they being fought in the way they are? etc, etc. They don't need to be great answers, and you don't need to ever actually reveal them, but I find it helps to keep yourself consistent if you have a rough sketch of the world building.
Not sure how much I can help you as I know very little about mecha. (Never watched a Gundam series for instance. There is just waaay to many of them).
Owner of Dead End
Nadir, if you have time, I recommend checking out the Muv-Luv visual novel trilogy. I just realized, but it basically fits every single point you've mentioned. High school girls as pilots in the military, fighting against BETA to save humanity, said mechs have swords equipped on as part of the Japanese mindset, and weaponry made out of a new type of metal/phlebotinum. The first part, Muv-Luv Extra is basically a mash-up of every single cliched in a high school love comedy anime. The only thing that doesn't fit is that it's completely sci-fi rather than fantasy.
It's 18+, and is quite long though, and you don't even see the BET As themselves until a few hours into the third arc, Muv Luv Alternative, so eh, up to you. It even has a (pretty bad) anime spin-off and several other VN spin-offs...
"And you must be Jonathan Joestar!" - Sue
Also, unless this is one of those girls-only settings (like K-On or Strawberry Panic), make sure to avoid falling into the tropes of 'all the girls are useless and the one guy has to do all the work' or 'guys are useless and the girls have to do all the work', or any other variation of 'the MC does all the work because everyone else is useless'. I really prefer to see all the characters pull their weight in one way or another.
That said, (correct me if I'm wrong, but) my understanding is that japanese universities do *not* have dress codes the way grade schools do. So unless you're really dedicated to the classic sailor suit look, a more realistic alternative (for characters in their 20s) might be to give the mech pilots/creature hunters/etc military uniforms inspired by the schoolgirl style.
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For more extensive comments I'd need you to provide more worldbuilding and story details. Anyway.
You don't have to conform to typical high-school or college structures. Feel free to create a special institute for these creature hunters/mecha pilots.
Powered armor for the grunts, mini-mecha for elite grunts and humongous mecha as hard-to-find ancient relics.
No comments on kaiju and the creature hunters. Don't know enough about them.
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Would Flash Steps and Rapid fire Fisticuffs (As well as the next step up, Pummel Duel) be okay for human sized fighters?
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Some Ideas for the plot
Multiple protagonists, mostly separated from each other & representing different types of characters. It's good to show that defeating Kaiju requires collaboration from everyone
Uses mecha as rare relics. And make the attempts to discovering it's secrets a plot point to occupy non action characters. Create lesser weapon technologies based on obtained information.
At least create two types of fighting base. One where techs derived from Mecha is used, while other don't have anything like that & needs to improvise with something else.
Make Kaiju Eldritch Abominations. Keep aura of mystery around them, revealing more & more slowly. Each reveal should be shocking than the other like in Sn K or Eva.
Create an internal conflict due to discovery of progressively newer techs as well, with villains ranging from dirty politicians or mad scientists to well intentioned extremist. If you think you can handle, collide all three of them.
Make fights more flashy if you want to make generic action story, while aim for realistic battle if you want to write deconstruction fiction.
If you are in good mood, use symbolisms as well.
Ice Queen
Let's see.
@kiukiuclk: Duly noted. And as for the mecha, I don't know that much either. The intention is mostly just for Rule of Cool and for Crowning Moment Of Awesomes so not much is needed.
@danna: I ain't sure about actually playing it, but I can try to look it up. It does fulfil the trope quota, but whether it executes it interestingly is what I'm curious about. Plus I'm going with a female protag, so it'd be interesting to see all the things that usually happen to a male protag happen to a girl instead. :p
@Meklar: I'm actually very flattered you still remembered it being called Corona. I only mentioned that like once. 
Don't worry about the character usefulness, I don't like it too. I'd like to go like RWBY where the focus is on the girls but there are competent males interspersed. And as for the uniforms, sure, the girls in Kampfer and Hot D ave great physiques, but they're still high-school age. What I meant is that girls with "canon" over-high-school ages. Though, with the earlier suggestion of military uniforms, this won't be a problem anymore. And I don't particularly meant sailor fuku - I should've cleared that up - just school uniforms in general. I'm more of a fan of the shirt and blazer myself.
@fillerdude: I've got the same thoughts concerning the mecha power structure. Though I think I'd omit Mini-Mecha, sticking with the two extremes instead. We'll see. As for details, I'll offer what I know at the end of this post.
Flash Step would be insanely cool and useful against the Kaiju. I'm a fan of Rapid-Fire Fisticuffs too, but that's a bit up in the air for now.
I like the way you think. Wonderful. I was actually going for the multiple character angle, representing the different factions. Noted about the mecha tech, too.
I like that idea about separate bases. I was looking for a reason for a schism between two different hunter factions with different approaches. I agree with all your other points as well. As for internal conflict, it sounds fun, but is a little ambitious for me right now. I'm sticking with monster fights for a bit. I've got a knack for epic-scale battles, but I'm not a great fan of anime's extensive use of flashy magic circles and "Cool Beam A" and "Cool Beam B with more sparkles".
And now, since some require more info, I'll be updating this topic periodically with what I've gathered. Watch this space.
Working on a manga. With pictures! All feedback welcome!
Ice Queen
Okay, so as promised, here's more info to help give a better idea of the direction I'm taking.
Setting
The basic setting is like what you see in a lot of popular anime today like Attack On Titan and Black Bullet: Humanity is ravaged by a new unknown foe of Eldritch Abominations that are directly antagonistic to them. However, in this work, it's not directly stated whether this is After the End set in the future or simply a different world - as the mix of mecha and fantasy tropes can lean towards both. After many years of conflict, major civilisations as we understand them are rare, if they even exist, and so there are many settlements who try their best to keep in contact with each other.
Given that these monsters (let's just call 'em Kaiju for lack of a better term) are the source of the problem, the shift in power and honour shifts towards those who can destroy them. Though once desperate, at this point of the story, mankind is back on its feet and stands a fighting chance, and thus many aspiring warriors seek to find glory and fame in hunting these beasts.
There's the potential for many multiple factions, but for now there are the Sigils and Hunters. Sigils are a very powerful group that run most governments and are the "official" Kaiju hunters. They have human fighters also called Sigils, who are basically mages. Their power comes from wearing rings, also called Sigils or Signets, the manufacture of which is kept secret. As such, Sigil rings are earned by graduates of Sigil Academies, and are an ubiquitous symbol and source of one's power. At this point, Sigil hierarchy is very clan-based, so one's influence and background can compensate for your ability.
All aspiring Kaiju hunters have to graduate from a Sigil Academy to earn their place, whether by hard work or by parental influence. Those who are near to cities and official institutions are pretty state-oriented - they enforce the use of uniforms, guidebooks and all that stuff. However, since the fight against the Kaiju is extensive, you may find that things can get pretty informal the further you reach into the wilderness away from the city. They shed all the rigid wish-wash in favour of getting the job done - up to the point of allowing "unofficial" Hunters who don't use rings, eschewing them in favour of kinetic weapons such as swords, or simply were not able to because of poor background.
Some Hunters believe they're getting to the true roots of killing Kaiju first. They believe that while effective, the Sigils are becoming more and more elitist and bureaucratic. The "Hunters" - what they call themselves to distance themselves from the Sigil label - are structured more like a guild, and are also very meritocratic - meaning that if you can kill Kaiju, you get noticed; simple as that. A constantly-updated ranking system, freedom to team up with who you like or go solo, along with meticulous recording and very handsome rewards + cred for each Kaiju kill ensures healthy competition and cooperation.
So okay, as you can see, the Hunters are more fantasy-oriented. Sigils - that is, the government that funds them - are more academic and militaristic in terms of structure and order, which is where the high school-esque uniforms and setting come in. As you get away from the Academies and into the actual "field duty" that graduating Sigils face as Hunters, it becomes a contrast and transition between school life and actual work, which in here is more informal, separated from the politics and rigidity of the safe cities.
However, this can be reworked so that the Sigils and Hunters are instead rival factions that use different approaches to killing Kaiju - the Sigils more mage-like, academic and organised, and the Hunters as more adventurous, rowdy warriors. Classic Empire vs. Rebels scenario, but the situation is different in that both factions are, in the long run, pursuing the same goals and ends. Perhaps there's a schism in opinions, in that while the Hunters just want to kill the Kaiju, the Sigils think that it'd be a foolish waste and instead try whenever they can to capture live specimens to experiment on - hence why the mecha would be more useful for its dexterity and grappling abilities, and it's also possible that Hunters would reward you much better for Kaiju kills than captures. I'd like to hear some thoughts on this.
If it helps, I actually listed
in this sketch page my list of influences, which include:
- Etrian Odyssey, Monster Hunter and Pixiv Fantasia, for its fantasy tropes. They also have a very guild-like, adventurous feel, which is what I like. Recettear can also count, as well as many standard JRP Gs for having the same feel.
- RWBY for the whole Hunting Academy thing. This and Dissidia both have fluid and interesting combat, which I'd like to emulate.
- The Persona series, particularly 3 and 4 for its academic setting/monster hunting aspects. Persona 3 especially fits more because SEES is an actual group rather than a Ragtag Bunch of Misfits. I kinda like their uniforms more, too.
In this and the next 3 pics, it shows that I want cannons as anti-Kaiju city fortifications. They're awesome. These are screenshots from the Evangelion Rebuild movies, so you can see where I'm coming from here. Whether they're standard cannons or Phlebotinum-based remains to be seen.
And as for the Humongous Mecha, I could use some suggestions. The working concept is that they're rare weapons. That detail's a must - I don't want them to be too common. Think of them as superweapons used as trump cards when things get tough, or only for Elite Mook Kaiju that pass a certain power threshold, much like Pacific Rim's Kaiju Category system. Don't whip the mecha out unless it's a Category 3-4 or something.
They're a Lost Technology that the governments are researching and utilising. The process of finding a pilot is what I'm not sure of. Perhaps they have aptitude tests for regular Sigil students, or they go by a different criteria altogether.
Alright! If you actually read through all that, I applaud and appreciate it very much, and I thank you for your consideration. Next is characters. I'll put it in another post so as to not make it seem too cramped. There are drawings of them, all of which being cute girls, to accompany the text, so it ought to be easier to digest.
Working on a manga. With pictures! All feedback welcome!
Ice Queen
Okay, thank you for reading so far. Now, to further help in solidifying impressions of this story, here are the
Characters
There's a lot of drawings and sketches, and I'm hoping the character designs and artstyle can somehow help to give you guys an impression of what I'm trying to get at.
Here are the sketches. There are several names you need to know to navigate the pictures, as they are titled with the girls' names. For those of you who have been to my Ultimate Harem/Corona thread, some of these will be familiar due to me wanting to reuse designs I don't want to discard.
- Midori. Now here is a very shaky character. I'm not sure if she'll even make the cut, but I keep coming back, frustrated that I can't seem to finalise her design, which is why you'll see me revisit her through little sketches many times in the gallery (do you know how hard it is to get just the right hairstyle you're picturing in your head? I do now). She's kinda like Ryuko Matoi personality-wise: tough, brash, tomboyish. Most likely fights with a sword.
- By the fourth picture, a new character enters the scene, a long-haired girl named Karin. She's the de facto protagonist of the story. Her most defining trope is The Strategist. She's the Smart Gal who prefers wits over power. She's a Kuudere whose cold professionalism alienates her amongst her peers, making her experience bouts of loneliness that affects her quite deeply. She has a Sigil ring, but doesn't use it for some reason.
- Juubei is a Sigil student. Very by-the-book, kinda Ojou-ish. Over time, I tweaked her design, and consequently her disposition, to be less of a cocky-looking Rich Bitch (think Cecilia Alcott to a more gentle, well-meaning typical Ojou. Her most recent iteration is under the title Many More Midoris and a Juubei (yes, that title :P). Her Sigil ring summons a Phlebotinum spear.
- Kanako is a mischievous, fun-loving Sigil. Kind of a Trickster Archetype in a very loose sense. I'm not sure what her role is yet, but she's not a standard student. Either she's an upperclassman, a mecha pilot, or some sort of recruiter, which is what I often visualise her doing - approaching the other girls in a cryptic manner, offering them jobs or opportunities. She's not hard to find - just locate her Nice Hat.
- There's a picture labelled as Adventurers Academy. Largely just put this picture here to illustrate a depiction of two graduate Academy students, both of which are currently unsure character concepts returning from my Harem thread.
- As you advance further through the gallery you'll see more of Karin. Her main character design influence is pretty much a carbon copy of Rin Shibuya. I have no idea what Rin's personality is like, but I liked her design a lot. So I more or less stole it. Nyeh.
- Cami's a character I'm not sure will make it, because I'm debating whether she should have her own standalone story. She's the girl in the open jacket, gauntlets and a constant smirk. If you've seen my thread about Realistic Weapon Breakage, she's the girl with superhuman strength I was talking about. Near the end of the gallery I switched her hairstyle to high twintails, a la Asuka Langley or Rin Tohsaka.
- Finally, Mizuno is the latest addition. She's the girl in the ponytail done up with a black ribbon, constantly in uniform. For now, she's looking to be a Deuteragonist of sorts to Karin, but I have very little bearing on her personality right now. Based on a mash of the Persona 3 female protagonist and Gou Matsuoka from Free!. Probably a gun user.
And... that's it. I'll stop before all this text becomes too much to bear.
edited 12th Jul '14 10:08:38 AM by Nadir
Working on a manga. With pictures! All feedback welcome!
Ice Queen
C'mon, don't leave me hanging now.
Owner of Dead End
It has nothing to do with the quality of your ideas or writing(meaning, what I'm saying doesn't imply anything, positive or negative, about it), but that is legit tl;dr material for me at the moment. Might wanna have a better name than Adventurers Academy though, sounds generic.
By the way, those are great drawings. Believe me, I've tried drawing many times, but I could never quite draw well or get invested into seriously trying to get better.
"And you must be Jonathan Joestar!" - Sue
Ice Queen
Of course, I understand. It's pretty much for those who requested more info. And thanks.
EDIT: And of course for the others, you can read just one or the other if you wish, whether the setting or the characters is of more interest to you.
edited 10th Jul '14 8:59:41 AM by Nadir
Working on a manga. With pictures! All feedback welcome!
For the setting, both of the scenarios you proposed sound promising. Though I would posit that the initial, lengthy dissertation you posted is the better one because:
I think it would be good to avert this kind of schism. It would be more interesting to have such factions within the Sigils, and within the Hunters.
The cannons should be phlebotinum-based if the city can afford it.
As for the process of finding a pilot, I believe an aptitude test would be more interesting. A merit system in the Sigils' structure is bound to shake things up.
Now, the characters. They have very good designs. I have nothing to say about character profiles; I would need to see them in a story, or with a script, first.
edited 10th Jul '14 5:21:35 PM by fillerdude
Ice Queen
Right. I was kinda wary of going with just plain separate factions, as those have been seen numerous times already. I mean, I don't mind going conventional, just that now that I have a seemingly more attractive alternative...
So are you saying that you disagree with the quoted portion? Or do you just prefer it as a more internalised conflict? Thus, you agree that the Sigils and Hunters are on the same side?
If there were both varieties of cannon - both normal ad Phlebotinum, how would they be distributed? If let's they were on the walls, would they be random or depend on outer/inner walls?
I think I get what you're getting at with the aptitude test. It'd certainly frustrate those rich kids if a poor but capable nobody pilot was found.
A script, huh? I guess that would help somewhat...
And @danna: Though I kinda like Adventurers Academy, Sigil Academy will be likely be the official. They may be different, though. Sigil Academies are more about learning history and academics, but Adventurers evokes a more practical feel, like the world's biology and various skills like combat and survival skills.
Working on a manga. With pictures! All feedback welcome!
No, the other one.
The most interesting would probably be a political conflict between Hunters and Sigils, but when push comes to shove, they're on the same side. It would on the whole not condemn either side, but would still allow for Knight Templars or similar characters who are villains on both sides. Or internal factions who serve the same purpose, and for even more variation. Sort of like Hunters could be blue to lime, and Sigils yellow to cyan, if that makes sense. And Kaiju are naturally Redand Blackand Evil All Over. Maybe including some plums or oranges.
I don't really find the character designs terribly interesting on the whole, with some exceptions like Kanako and Karin. Hard to tell, though, since they're a little too sketchy for details. At this point it's not much more than, "has long hair, yes/no?" And Kanako's hat.
Personalities are a little different. Again, Kanako seems interesting. Juubei and Karin aren't bad either.
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If this needs to be in Writer's Block, then please by all means. I just feel it's easier to get the right demographic here.
Okay, I have great interest in action-oriented manga/anime's potential, and a minor, shaky interest in making one. Knowing my own strengths, weaknesses and personal interests, I'm not great at making an original story, but I'm confident in making even a generic ride worthwhile.
So here's the deal. I've heard often on the forums that Full Metal Panic is kinda like an "anime anime". It has all the tropes you expect like mecha, high school and stuff. So I'm aiming for something similar. Nothing at all to do with the work itself, but just using this basic principle. If I try to formulate a story that has a generic premise, linear plot and most of the well-known tropes, would it still interest people if it's done well? If the characters may be archetypes, but likeable, and if it has good action and style?
Of course it does. People practically gobble this stuff up all the time after all. So if I can make one, how would I go about it? That's the point of this topic. It's not a "Let's Deconstruct" thread, because I do have a direction in mind. Rather, I'm humbly requesting for some input and opinions on the matter.
Premise and Tropes
Okay, so the basic tropes likely to be used are as follows, along with influences as they may help:
The premise is typical fare: A half-fantasy ("fantasy" referring to presence of mecha and monsters), half-real world (high-school-esque setting, some modern technology), somewhat dystopian world is overrun by monsters. Protagonists fight them. What's different here is merely tone and execution.
Let's start. What are your opinions on any of the points, based on what you would like to watch? Should the girls be in high school (some kind of fighters academy), or would college age (18-22 year-olds) be more refreshing to you? Given the physique of anime girls these days, it barely makes a difference if it weren't for that strange Christmas Cake youth-is-beauty syndrome. Can they pull off the uniforms without being accused as older girls trying to act young?
If it seems that I seem to have my answers already, and you're not sure what to answer, then yeah, I noticed too. I'd just like to hear outside opinions on it - maybe it could spawn some ideas.
edited 8th Jul '14 7:49:54 AM by Nadir
Working on a manga. With pictures! All feedback welcome!