Ever write something that made you feel..."unclean" when you finished?

So yeah, I just go through writing a chapter for a story involving two crime bosses who have been at war for years, until the Big Bad finally gets the leg up on the Designated Hero. Finally finding a chance to strike and strike hard, the villain sends his Mooks to hunt down the Anti-Hero's family simultaneously, before anyone knows what the hell's going on. He basically wants to make an example out of this guy, so things get nasty . . . fast.

The scenes in question I'm referring to is the raping of the protagonist's half-sister (who is half-black) while the goons slap her, beat her, and call her . . . bigoted slurs. The other scene is where another group of goons goes to the home of the protagonist's mistress (whom he's fathered three children with), where they chase them all into the basement, lock them in, and set the house on fire*

I needed to take a shower after writing that, but I needed to do it, since it was a wham chapter that was intended to justify why the hero decides to Pay Evil unto Evil later.

We have this thread. Actually I think we have quite a few threads like this, come to think of it...

I once wrote (the first chapter of, at least >.<) a Touhou Cyberpunk AU fic that opened with Satori having a breakdown and hurling herself off a skyscraper. I... Don't usually write dark stuff, so I felt kind of weird writing about a character that I actually kinda liked comitting suicide. >.<

Yes, mostly because of the complete lack of feedback I got once the porn started.

I ended up abandoning the story entirely.

This. I still feel weird about it.

I wrote a scene for an RP once wherein my character got three toes blown off, had to limp away from the scene, break into a department store, and cauterize the stump of his foot with a stolen iron. I felt like showering after that, though I was complimented on the scene.

What . . . What is this I dont even . . .

^ I have got to know what could get that response from someone like Zeal.

Reading . . .

I do not understand what I just read.

edited 12th Jul '11 2:35:13 PM by feotakahari

Yeah, twice now. It just kind of...shows up, and then I have to slog through it.

Nothing completely terrible yet, though. There might be, at some point, but not yet.

@ Post 5: I'm more confused about the journal format. Is it a cyberpunk setting where you can log your thoughts? That would be cool.

edited 12th Jul '11 3:12:30 PM by melloncollie

That... that thing is amazing in its sheer ridiculousness. I'm not sure whether to label it "trash" or "William Faulkner"!

Yes, Undead!Itachi x Evil!Sasuke Dark Fic with plenty of Mind Rape and Eye Scream.

I wrote it based on challenger from a friend, said friend is now slightly afraid of me, and they said it was the darkest thing they've read and they love reading Dark Fic.

edited 12th Jul '11 6:49:03 PM by Vyctorian

Yeah...I once was writing a fairly successful and notable fan fic...Then I got pissed off about someone said and pretty much Rage Quit the site it was posted on with a spectacular Gainax Ending that was a big "FU" to all the people following me. I won't go into details, but it got me banned. (Well, that and the fact that I mouthed off at an admin.)

I was a lot younger then, and didn't take criticism well.

Once. There's a scene near the end if my last fanfic where the main character gets raped, and in the initial draft I went into way too much detail. I toned it down for the second draft and just faded to black, it worked out much less Squick-y.

Incidentally, it's really hard to type wiki markup on an iPod.

Oh believe me, I know.

Now admittedly, that was more of a "I feel like a jackass" than "I feel unclean.", but that's the best example I've got.

edited 13th Jul '11 4:14:22 AM by Archereon

I need a shower after conceiving that I could make the plot of my adaptation move faster, and with surprisingly few changes, if I replaced an awesome, heroic character with an enemy mole. His working name - I'm probably going to have to change it - basically derives from the Church Latin for "I'm not any happier about this than you are."

I have at least two of these moments in my main work.

One involves a very nasty fight between one of the protagonists and a (formerly minor) villain that... turns. The fact that it is (intentionally) written like a sex scene just makes everything worse.

Another is an attempted seduction of sorts. It's also a very sick monologue that basically establishes one villain as one of the most reprehensible characters I've ever written.

There are some other scenes that should make me deeply uncomfortable, but really don't. Any scene with the deranged barber-surgeon, for example, or the skin-wearing demi-god. But that's because they're both extremely funny.

I once promised myself that I'd never write a rape scene, so I nearly quit writing a particular story when I realized that I'd need to explain the backstory of a character who was almost certainly raped more than once. I managed to get through it by focusing less on the act and more on what it did to the character (or rather, what it failed to do—her most basic trait is that she will not break no matter how she's degraded.)

One of my more critically acclaimed fanfic was centered around two characters being Xanatos'd into seeing each other naked (no, seriously) for a third character's sick amusement.

It was supposed to end at the first chapter, but then I thought "hey, this dude's probably really anal from a culture that's likely to have a few thoughts about what is and isn't proper concerning the opposite sex. What's running through his mind right now?"

And it took off from there. Subsequent chapters included awkward sexual tension between the two of them, an attempted seduction, and a Thanks for the Mammary. I almost wrote A Date With Rosie Palms scene in there.

The characters are under 16.

edited 13th Jul '11 4:35:04 PM by SalFishFin

edited 13th Jul '11 4:25:38 PM by KingZeal

... Oops.

LOL, don't mind my stupidity. Carry on.

Wow, that was one horny phrase you had.

Word choice: always an important thing to focus on.