Failed film projects (lowest likelihood of "success"[[hottip:i.e. completion, non-terribleness and so forth]]):

• Desk†: A short film about four guys moving a desk, and another guy who finds it. Made of Mind Screw.
• Here Goes Nothing†: A fake documentary about the attempted making of a mockumentary. Also, a psychological horror film, and a comedy of errors. Basically, a tour-de-force of violent Genre Busting.

Sequential art nonsense (lower likelihood of success):

• Hello!†: A "skitcom" with a strong line in Dada.
• Jacob's Mind: An exceedingly dark comedy about a hapless loser and his utterly sadistic imaginary friend.

Prosaic prose stuff (slightly higher likelihood of success):

• Focal Point: A short-novel-length Cosmic Horror Story with a focus on the nature of time and memory.
• Hey, Pilgrim: A longish story about a disturbed teenager who may or may not have supernatural abilities.

The elephant in the room:

• An as-of-yet untitled doorstopper work. Very hard to explain concisely. Or coherently.

†With this guy.

Add to these as you will...

• Angrish: My native tongue.
• The Anti-Nihilist: I am generally of the belief that people tend to conflate meaning in existence and meaning in their own lives, consequently overrating the former and devaluing the latter.
• Apologises a Lot: Often with good reason.
• Attention Deficit... Ooh, Shiny!: What...?
  • Attention Deficit Creator Disorder: Less so than some on This Very Wiki, but yes, indeed.
• Beware the Nice Ones: Though easily frustrated by little things, I actually have very few buttons that can seriously be pressed. When they are... Run.
• Bi the Way: Though I tend to give off the impression of having no interest at all...
  • Depraved Bisexual / Memetic Molester: A joke among some of my friends, perpetuated out of irony.
• Cannot Tell a Joke: In direct conversation, if I try to make one, it tends to rely heavily on Viewers Are Geniuses. Sometimes averted through blatant absurdity and circular logic.
• Cannot Tell a Lie: I am very, very bad at actually lying. Exact Words, however...
• Caustic Critic: Possibly doubly subverted. If I like something, I will follow my nitpicking with unrestrained gushing; if I dislike something, the venom will eat through your desk.
• Celibate Hero: Not really by choice, though.
• The Chew Toy: You'd be surprised.
• Cloudcuckoolander: Most people, upon meeting me, fall under the impression that I have Asperger's Syndrome. I don't. I'm just odd.
• Covert Pervert: Most people don't expect my rather twisted sense of humour upon meeting me. This is resolved quite quickly.
• Deadpan Snarker: When I am, I am very deadpan. But most of the time I'm just really literal.
  • The Snark Knight: I'm often just as worthy as any.
• Devil's Advocate: Oh, dear...
• Ditzy Genius / Genius Ditz: Having a strong tendency to freely associate mid-conversation, forget what one is doing in the middle of a simple task and generally miss the point does not necessarily indicate stupidity... nor does an encyclopedic knowledge of obscure historical, literary and musical minutiae indicate any degree of common sense.
• Entry Pimp: Online and in the "real world" for just about any random band or author I'm into at the moment.
• Fan Nickname: I have gained some fairly bizarre monikers in my time, most of which are based upon incidents too complicated to explain. Example: Creampuff.
• For Happiness: Always.
• Fountain of Memes: Among my friends. I am essentially a living in-joke generator.
• Freaky Is Cool: My entire modus operandi.
  • Nightmare Fetishist: Not to the extremes of some, although my favourite artistic works tend to be made of Mind Screw or High Octane Nightmare Fuel.
• Geek: So very surprising.
  • Nerd: To a lesser extent.
• Hipster: My music taste tends to lead people to this conclusion; in point of fact, most of what I listen to, while obscure and weird, isn't very hip at all.
• The Hyena: Life is suffering. Ergo, it is hilarious.
• Improbably High IQ: See "Ditzy Genius" for why this is functionally irrelevant.
• Insane Troll Logic: Averted. Most of what I'm talking about ultimately makes some sense, but the connections are complicated and random enough to throw most people off.
  • Obfuscating Insanity: Sometimes this is entirely intentional. Usually, it's not.
• Insufferable Genius: When confronted with stupidity, I simply go as far as I can in the opposite direction.
• Intelligence Equals Isolation: My childhood, in a nutshell. Which didn't actually suck.
  • Loners Are Freaks: And damn proud of it!
• Keet: Sometimes. Mention Mutant Sounds and I'll give you my best Fanboy Squee.
• Know-Nothing Know-It-All: I try to avoid this, but sometimes... it's not pretty.
• Large Ham: Oh, yes. Especially when performing in front of an audience.
• Literal-Minded: Very.
• Logic Bomb: One of my favourite things.
• NEET: Basically. It's a tad depressing.
• Nice Guy: I try. I really do.
  • Jerk with a Heart of Gold: I slip sometimes.
• Ninja Editor: *edit*
• No Social Skills: Better at this than I used to be. Specifically...
  • No Sense of Personal Space: There is such a thing? How quaint!
• Sesquipedalian Loquaciousness: Indubitably.
• Shut In: Borderline example.
• The Slacker: So very much so...
• Too Clever by Half: When I'm not just flat-out irritating.
• Verbal Tic: Plenty, the most notable being: "I mean, really..."
• What Do You Mean, You're Not On Drugs?: I get that a lot. And by a lot, I mean when people aren't politely avoiding the question or assuming a sound "yes, he definitely is." To the latter: I'm terribly sorry for trampling all over your expectations. I really am.
• What the Hell Is That Accent?: I'm from a particular part of my state that has a very hard-to-place, quirky accent, which combined with my voice makes things even more mystifying.
• The Wonka: Sometimes.
• Xanatos Gambit: When they least expect it.

Any vandalism to be perpetrated shall go here.

*no response*

*...*

OK, now I'm just offended.

Well, fine then. *ravishes* Your Slasher Smile holds no fear for me. Smile.dog is my homeboy. - SunshineWerewolf

• RAVISH U - inane242

RAVISH RAVISH RAVISH RADISH RAVISH - Imipolex G

• What is this and this radvishing stuff? Oh, and hi. - d Roy

• The faeries don't ravish. They steal. Some of your stuff may be missing, by the way. - StolenByFaeries

...with a radish?

• And some more vandalism, for you sir- BetsyandtheFiveAvengers
  • Thank you, O Vengeful One.

• It occurred to me that I hadn't vandalized your page, and though I'm very happy I'm not actually the Finn to your Harris, I thought that I should do this, in memory of their strange and horrific relationship. - AwayLaughing
  • Strange and horrific indeed. And thank you.

• Well, you know what happens when a person is awesome. THAT PERSON'S PAGE IS RAVISHED WITHOUT MERCY. ~ Snowy Foxes