YMMV / Stuart Ashen


  • Audience-Alienating Premise: Well spoken man crouches behind camera tripod and films his hands fiddling with electronic pound shop rubbish, and occasionally nibbling often-disgusting (and occasionally expired) food.
  • Big Lipped Alligator Moment: In his Huge Screen v.2 review, an advert comes on for "Breakfast Mess", despite having said that his videos don't use advert breaks.
    • The Easter Bunny Jump Scare from around halfway through his Easter Tat review.
  • Bile Fascination: With the crap he reviews.
  • Ear Worm:
    • His opening theme. Liquid Filth also counts. For the curious, the opening theme is the result of typing "Doctor Ashen" into a program called "Dunc's Algomusic", which takes any words you want and creates music out of them, and actually goes on for much longer than what you normally hear.
    • And the song he improvised on the iPhone's LaDiDa app which he titled Aqful (spelt instead of Awful because of the iPhone's awkward keyboard).
    • Monkey hit his head on a tree, holding a sausage~ Monkey hit his head on a tree, now he's got brain damage~
    • THE GOOSE, which for some odd reason, plays a badly-looped, distorted extract of "I Like It" by Solid Base.
    • The menu music of the bootleg Quest For The Game Child DVD.
    • From his lesser-known side channel IndianFlats, "Cunt Moped".
    "I'm being followed by some cunt on a moped
    Cunt moped, cunt moped"
    What the hell's he doing up there? I really hope he dies!
    What an evil Nazi bastard!
  • Ensemble Dark Horse: The Godmonster of Indian Flats seems to be very popular, as he's had to address why there haven't been more of him. It's because he was scarcely in one movie. He hopes to grow a guinea pig into a new one.
    • Quincy, the Caterpillar who sings obscure Beatles songs, is also pretty popular.
    • And there's the Excellent Darkhorse himself, Chef Excellence.
    • The "grass masks" from the Playmobil Advent Calender are also popular, in part to being surprisingly creepy.
    • THE GOOSE, of course.
  • Freud Was Right: His video on old joysticks seems prone to some vaguely sexual-sounding phrases, to the point where this likelihood is lampshaded in the video description.
  • Friendly Fandoms: With Nerdł, due to them being good friends in real life and their collab on the Advent Calendar in 2015.
  • Harsher in Hindsight: A remark he makes in one of his Easter videos regarding a set of inedible decorative Easter Eggs that look almost identical to Cadbury chocolate eggs became this when this story was released.
  • Hilarious in Hindsight:
    • A Running Gag which appears when he mentions Street Overlord is saying that, "Two men pull their arms and legs off and throw them at each other". Then Mortal Kombat 9 came out, and one of the challenges in the challenge towers has you doing exactly that. It's also a valid and somewhat common tactic used in Toribash.
    • In the review of Pac-Man: The Board Game, Ashen points out how to deposit the pellets into the player's bins by saying "Now you have to empty your balls into your bucket." So Ashen is a troll?
    • At the end of the recording microscopes review, Ashens promptly set a fake My Little Pony on fire, laughing maniacally before sighing *hats* at the end, and shortly after proclaiming "Pyromania is Magic!". Cue two months later, in June 2012, when the Team Fortress 2 Pyromania update was announced.
    • There are no advertisement breaks. This is the Internet.
    • In his Human Killing Machine review, he declares developer Tiertex's ultimate fate of producing mobile games as "a fitting punishment." A fair comment in 2008 - nowadays, mobile games make more money than the console and PC markets combined.
    • Also in the review of Human Killing Machine, he takes a look at each fighter, pointing out how racially stereotypical and ridiculous they all are. Jump to 2015 and Capcom announces Arabian character Rashid for Street Fighter V, who bares more than a slight resemblance to Sagen, HKM's penultimate opponent. Of course, HKM is nothing more than a reskinned home port of the original Street Fighter!
    • His comment of Stay Fresh Cheese Bags sounding like an obnoxious 80's mascot character's sigh-off catch phrase ("Stay fresh, cheesebags!") got a little funnier when "Stay Fresh" became the sign-off catch phrase of the newscaster/pop idol duo in ''Splatoon - largely because of the late-80's-to-mid-90's vibe the game gives off with its visual design.
  • Ho Yay: Several exchanges with Guru Larry about the night/day mechanic of Minecraft:
    Larry: It's getting dark, shall we go to bed first?
    Stuart: *Laughs* Don't you buy me dinner first?
  • I Am Not Shazam: His name is Stuart Ashen. His website (and YouTube channel) is called Ashens. However, Ashen himself is guilty of calling himself "Ashens", too.
  • Internet Backdraft: Ashen caught a bit of flak when he uploaded a video of himself trying Minecraft for the first time, with people claiming that he'd sold out/Jumped the Shark/what have you.
  • Less Disturbing in Context: "Oh, god! It's spraying everywhere! The doctor said I wouldn't have that problem any more!" He's referring to a tube of CD cleaning fluid.
  • Memetic Mutation:
    • AN EXCELLENT X (from Chef Excellence Stay Fresh bags, which feature a stock photo of a chef with the caption "Chef Excellence" 'An excellent product'). Now you can make your own! note 
    • "Or something."
    • The degree to which he's become memetic becomes very clear in his Not 100th Video Contest showcases.
    • The FUCKING INFLATABLE FUCKING CROWN!
      • Eventually, Loot Crate themselves got in on the act by sending him a box full of inflatable crowns, along with a troll face.
  • Nausea Fuel: The "Specimen Tube" from the Halloween Sweets Special.
    • The microwavable pizza snack gets hyped up as this as well. As Stuart himself says, "NOT RECOMMENDED".
    • He proclaims the German creme egg-lookalikes to be the most disgusting Poundland food yet, and then whilst wondering what was going on (as he'd expected them to at least be OK because even they couldn't screw up something that simple), he notices a maggot lying on one of them. It turns out to be a fake planted there by a friend, but still.
    • Two words: Instant Cupcake.
    • Three more words: thousand-year egg. According to him, it is by far the worst thing he's ever tasted (he describes the taste as "Every synapse in your brain screaming that what you just put in your mouth should not be in your mouth"). And it looks it. In a later video, he, rather unsurprisingly, revealed that it was rotten even by thousand-year egg standards.
    • Bean Boozled Jelly Beans. In this case, the product was intentionally made as disgusting as possible. Flavors include vomit, rotten egg, skunk spray and canned dog food. Dan actually vomits due to how disgusting they are, and at the end, the spitoon they used is shown on-camera.
    • Chicken in a can is a serious contender for the most disgusting food (especially visually) that Ashen's ever had on his channel.
    • The cake made with the 25 year old microwave cake mix looks like "the bottom of a cat's litter tray" and is frosted with "the devil's cum".
    • The 20-year-old can of baby food Stuart and Barry Lewis try probably eclipses the cake and the chicken in terms of sheer nastyness.
    • And then there was the canned scorpion and the canned tarantula.
    • The circa-1886 jar of olives.
    • The sugar bunnies from the 2016 Easter special. At first it just looks like the food coloring's causing some strange spots to appear, but it turns out they (or at least, one of the ones Ashens had) have actual mold growing on them.
  • The very reason he will not open a can of surströmming, no matter how many times he's sent the stuff.
  • Nightmare Retardant: The 16mm film's graininess and lack of sound makes it seem creepy, but paper signs that he encounters says that four news videos will be posted each month in the near future. Subverted at the end, when Noseybonk makes a loud and unwelcome reappearance.
  • Replacement Scrappy: Max Hoffmannote , who replaced Chef Excellence on the "Stay Fresh x Bags".
  • Schmuck Bait: In a video he made for Bad Teeth (aptly titled *sic* "DO NOT GOOGLE THIS" which talks about Shock Sites - come to think of it, every single site mentioned in the video is schmuck bait in their own accord), he mentions to never search Google for the term "Melon Wedding". If you ignore his warning and do so, google gives you a webpage owned by Ashens that chides you for specifically ignoring him and googling said phrase.
  • What Do You Mean, It's Not for Kids?: His two early Magic Meadow videos are animated cartoons similar in style to the 1970s British children's cartoon series Bod. The first one ends in a gruesome head injury and a brain damaged character. The second ends in the violent murder of another cartoon character by Ashens for stealing Ashen's credit card and using it to buy a Mail-Order Bride.
  • The Woobie: The girl in the Stock Clearance Specialnote .
    • That's his girlfriend.
    • Also, the cheap, borderline demonic, Poundland puppy toy. It starts out creepy and annoying, but Ashen's brutal Neck Snap activates the "yap" squeaker in its neck, making it sound like it's yelping in pain as it dies. Somewhat negated by its still-lit eyes after death, though.

http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/YMMV/StuartAshen