"There is no safety. There is no calm. Things will not go back to normal. Every damn bear on this earth has decided to kill every damn human. That's what's going on."Bearmageddon is a comic by Ethan Nicolle, the creator of Axe Cop.It begins with workers hoisting a dead animal out of a sewer — it looks like a bear, but most bears do not have tentacles. The only explanation is the work of a Dr. Wilson Medved, but he's dead and it's been almost thirty years since he was shut down.Then we meet Joel, average slacker working in an electronics store. After some disagreements with his uptight boss, then with his father over rent, he quits his job to go live in the woods at the suggestion of his stoner friends. But what they find in the woods is far from the natural peace and beauty they expected. Instead, they find packs of grizzly bears that seem to have one goal: kill every human they find. After several narrow escapes with the assistance of wild hunter and expert bear-killer Dickinson Killdeer, they find that this is not an isolated indecent. Bears have waged war against mankind, and it looks like only one species will come out of this alive.Bearmageddon is not for the faint of heart. Don't read this comic unless you can stomach seeing lots of people getting mauled to death by bears and, conversely, seeing lots of bears getting shot, stabbed, and axed to death by humans. If that's exactly what you're looking for in a webomic, then look no further.
— Dickinson Killdeer
This comic contains examples of:
- Action Survivor: Joel's being set up for this, it seems.
- All There in the Manual: The cast page contains not just descriptions of the main characters, but also descriptions of characters who have absolutely no importance, appearing only as background characters. All of them have long, descriptive biographies.
- Alt Text
- Awesome Mc Cool Name: Dickinson Killdeer. Just saying that name out loud gives you an extra millimeter of chest hair.
- Ax-Crazy: Dickinson Killdeer is very much this way towards bears
- Bad Boss: Joel's manager, Ken. Has a pencil moustache, exactly the requisite amount of flair on his jacket and a stick up his arse the size of a fencepost.
- Bears Are Bad News: The Comic!
- Cameo: Flute Cop is the supervisor of the loggers and argues with the protesters. This received an extensive lampshade in Alt Text and The Rant, and eventually ascended on his character page, where he is revealed to have Recurring Dreams of his Axe Cop counterpart.
- Cast of Snowflakes: Most background characters even have a brief description on the character page.
- Cheerful Child: Joel's little brother Louie. He thinks his big brother's awesome, even if not one adult does.
- Chekhov's Gun: The organic fuel is highly explosive. The van's filled with it. And they're carrying a trailer full of it. HMMM...
- Not to mention an oxygen tank and a tool box RESISTANT TO NUCLEAR BLAST. That will never come in handy.
- Crazy-Prepared: The "Adventure Van" Joel and his friends are going to live in was "all set up for Y2K"; it runs on 'organic' fuel, has an extra trailer of fuel barrels and a nuclear blast-proof trunk of survival gear.
- Crazy Survivalist: Dickinison Killdeer, if the his appearance so far is any indication.
- Gory Discretion Shot: Happens here. Mostly averted from then on, though.
- The Everyman: Joel.
- Meaningful Name: Dr. Medved. "Medved" is Russian for "bear".
- The Millstone: Nigel.
- Mix-and-Match Critters: Bears mixed with just about anything that could be considered deadly (or at least bizarre).
- New-Age Retro Hippie: Nigel.
- Seinfeldian Conversation
- Swallow the Key: Nigel performed this to make a point to Jack. This backfired horribly when the bears showed up.
- The Stoner: Burton.
- Start to Corpse: Fairly high number, and it's a bit of a shock to see that it's going to be that kind of story.
- Suplex Finisher: "Any game where you can suplex an elk is automatically the best game on Earth".
- Ungrateful Bastard: Nigel, who wants to arrest Dickinson Killdeer for killing the bears that were trying to kill him.
- Who Would Win: In-universe; Joel and his co-workers discover that you can't conclusively decide who would win in a fight between a gorilla and a bear.
- Write Who You Know: Word of God has suggested that the relationship between Joel and Louie parallels that between Ethan and his own brother, Malachai.