The Nostalgia Critic S 12 E 21 / Recap

Release: June 19, 2019

Focus: Barney's Great Adventure

The Critic takes a look at Barney the Purple Dinosaur's first cinematic outing and tries to figure out why this character was one of the most virulently despised characters in recent pop culture memory.

We remembered these tropes so you don't have to:

Actor Allusion: The Critic introduces Cody's actor Trevor Morgan as Tommy Tammisimo of The Sixth Sense and Eric Kirby of Jurassic Park III (which the Critic notes to also have Barney screened in one scene).
Dr. Grant: This is T-Rex pee? How did you get it?
Eric: You don't wanna know.
Critic: (looks at the back of the DVD box of Barney's Great Adventure) Ah, so that's the "Barney Golden Shower Song" I've heard so much about.
- Later, when Cody wishes upon a star for a great adventure, the Critic warns him to Be Careful What You Wish For, showing another clip from Jurassic Park III of Eric being abducted by a Pteranodon, smugly stating that he makes no promises that this will never be the last Jurassic Park III joke he will make.
Bait-and-Switch Comparison
- At the beginning and end of this episode, the Critic makes these kind of jokes when comparing Barney the Dinosaur and his own father, Barney Walker. The first time, he says there are two kinds of Barneys in the world; one being an obnoxious dinosaur that nobody likes to listen to, and the other one being purple. The second time, he says that Barney might be a better character if he had a good sense of humor, and that the dinosaur could use some help as well.
- The Critic sarcastically compares Barney walking solemnly while the kids are despondent over the Dream Maker Egg being blown into the sky to Charles Foster Kane muttering "Rosebud" before walking solemnly past a hall of mirrors... or, rather more truthfully, a Chuck E. Cheese mascot wandering down an arcade.
Book Ends: This episode begins and ends with the Critic roasting his father, Barney Walker, with bait-and-switch comparisons.
But Thou Must!: Having fulfilled his motive behind reviewing the movie so early on (namely one of the reasons Barney is hated is because he is perpetually happy, even when discussing difficult issues), the Critic is about to end his coverage, when Barney persuades him to watch it to the end.
Critic: Wow... that's impressive. Only a minute of him being on screen, and I figured out why he's such a pain in the ass to everyone. Well, I guess I don't need to finish the rest of the movie, and—
Barney: Wait! You still have an hour of a movie to cover!
Critic: But I just found out why you were so annoying. And, surprisingly, knowing that doesn't make you any easier to watch.
Barney: Come on, don't make me quote other serious subjects that shows better than me covered!
Critic: Oh, come on, it can't be that awkward...
Barney: You mean Mr. Hooper died and he's never coming back? Ever? Why not? (laughs) Why won't he ever come back?
Critic: Okay! God, your lack of emotional diversity is terrifying!
Barney: Oh, good! (laughs)
Critic: I weep for you.
Barney: Good, because I can't. (laughs again) Kill me.
Delayed Reaction: When Barney appears for the first time behind the shower curtain...
Critic: (shrugs, then screams) I mean, what else can you say but—(screams some more)
Fake Interactivity: In-Universe, the Critic refuses to join the movie instigating a Clap Your Hands If You Believe moment, and the movie's credits seem to roll before the Critic ends the charade and claims the movie's rigged.
Groin Attack: At the end of the episode, as the Critic goes around to roast his father again, Barney Walker simply knees him in the nuts.
Low Count Gag: As the film begins, the Critic questions if the first scene—Barney, B.J. and Baby Bop talking from a dark screen—is his viewpoint from his blindfold after Barney kidnapped him:
Critic!Barney: Oh, boy! We're gonna make so much money ransoming off your body parts! Let's count how many toes you have left! One... that was fun! (laughs)
Memetic Molester: In-Universe, the Critic is amazed at the creepy grin of the maitre d' of a fancy restaurant while Barney distracts the audience with a musical number while the kids search the Dream Maker Egg.
Critic!Maitre d': I had no idea purple dinosaurs were my fetish! My life is made and destroyed at the same time!
Mondegreen Gag: The Critic points out how having an orchestra provide the music to "Old MacDonald Had a Farm" would sometimes make a "CL" sound like an "F", playing a clip of Barney singing the "cluck-cluck" part of the song to demonstrate.
Critic: "Barney's Great Brothel" was an unpopular working title, but they still managed to keep those lyrics in.
Mushroom Samba
- Seeing that the house of Mildred Goldfinch, a neighbor of the Greenfield family, has decorations which suspiciously look like marijuana leaves, the Critic jokingly claims the neighborhood is always happy because of all the second-hand smoke wafting from Mrs. Goldfinch's household.
- Barney's creepily wide eyes when viewed from a higher angle has the Critic joking that he was high on meth.
"Not Making This Up" Disclaimer
- Barney, Abby and Marcella singing "Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star" to the tune of the ABC song has the Critic jokingly imitate either one of the girls having an epiphany that Barney's music is a lie. The Critic further justifies his joke with a screenshot of a 1994 Associated Press article proving that the show indeed faced allegations of copyright infringement over a song (i.e., "I Love You", filed by a Washington music publisher who claims to have already bought rights to the song in 1983, long before the show even aired).
  Critic: Fun reading. Google it.
- While highlighting the oddity of Barney being abruptly interrupted by a cut to Cody, the Critic jokes that the director must have pulled out the actor's vocal cords after discovering his secret tantric sex business. He then plays back that scene, then displays a 2004 VICE News article proving that Barney's suit actor, David Joyner, is actually running a tantric sex business.
  Critic: You are every flavor of welcome for that!
Ow, My Body Part!: The sight of Barney swinging around with his legs flailing has the Critic thinking he is less swinging happily and more like David Joyner hanging on for dear life.
Critic!Joyner: I can't see shit! Push me towards something soft before I break my friggin' spine! (a crashing sound is heard) My friggin' spine!!!
Running Gag: The review repeatedly cuts to Barney and the kids silently wondering what's inside the Dream Maker's egg.
Shout-Out
- The review begins with a clip from other shows lampooning Barney, such as Animaniacs, In Living Color!, The Simpsons and "Weird Al" Yankovic's "Jurassic Park" music video.
- The Critic is confused as to how people could get so angry at Barney, and not at other child-oriented shows such as Sesame Street, Dora the Explorer, Super Why! and WordGirl.
- Seeing that the film begins with the main characters being driven into the countryside, the Critic wonders if the movie is part of the cinematic universe of Ordinary People.
- Seeing Cody miffed about missing Merrivale's Apple Day Festival, the Critic imitates him lamenting about how his mother doesn't understand how awesome apples are, while showing a picture of Slipknot^note in concert edited to make it look like they are wearing apple-shaped helmets.
- The Critic grows to like Cody's cynicism early in the film, claiming he'd pay good money to see him verbally roast toddlers at their birthday parties together with Linus.
- While noting how creepy Barney looks, the Critic contrasts his dead-fish eyes to the comparatively livelier ones of Kiki, Rapunzel, Calvin and Hobbes. As for his teeth, the Critic also notes how Disney characters (showing in particular Mickey Mouse, Minnie Mouse, Donald Duck and Pluto the Pup) and The Muppets are rarely depicted with a full set of teeth unless they are deliberately designed to be weird (showing Dr. Teeth and the Electric Mayhem from the latter) or are used to characterize them as mischievous and/or menacing (showing Garfield, The Joker as he appears in Batman: The Animated Series, the Blue Meanie, Monkey D. Luffy, Yzma, Smiler, and even a picture of the Critic from the title card of the Alien vs. Predator review).
  Critic: Heck, just look at this asshole! (points to his own picture)
- Noting on how Barney is perpetually happy, the Critic contrasts it with the more sensible mirth of "Radical" Edward Tivrusky IV, SpongeBob SquarePants and Patrick Star, as well as the ability of other child-friendly shows to show a far wider range of emotions, such as Peanuts and Arthur, and/or discuss difficult topics, such as the June 7, 1968 special episode of Mister Rogers' Neighborhood, aired in the wake of the assassination of Robert F. Kennedy two days prior, and the Thanksgiving 1983 episode of Sesame Street dealing with the death of Mr. Hooper (who was already long-absent after the death of his actor Will Lee almost a year prior).
- Cody going out with sunglasses and a gray jacket has the Critic thinking he is going to a Disney Afternoon commercial.
- The appearance of Baby Bop, with part of her costume fur falling off, has the Critic using a well-known Dragon Ball Z meme attributed to Frieza.
  Critic!Baby Bop: I'm shedding, as you can see from this green falling off me! Fools, this isn't even my final form!
- As the three kids ride on horseback with the Dream Maker Egg through a forest while whimsical music plays, the Critic thinks they have entered Edward Scissorhands' Jurassic Park.
- The extremely fancy house of Mrs. Goldfinch has the Critic thinking that if Pee-wee Herman had a birdhouse, it'd look like a conservative church in comparison.
- While the kids, despondent over losing the Dream Maker Egg, initially refuse to join along Barney's dance number, the Critic dubs lines into one of the kids saying that he might as well run Clifford the Big Red Dog and they'd call it a day.
- The Critic compares one of the circus performers on tall stilts and a tall hat to Jack Skellington painted over with Willy Wonka.
- The blatantly CGI effects of the Barney and the kids flying through hot-air balloons has the Critic thinking that it makes Elf Bowling (a bad Christmas special he reviewed back at the end of 2018) look like Frozen II.
- While Grandpa Greenfield is taken aback at the kids introducing Barney to him and his wife, the Critic dubs lines to him stating he saw Barney in Dateline's "To Catch a Predator" segments, where suspected sexual predators are lured by law enforcement.
- The disappointingly simple look of Twinken, the creature hatched from the Dream Maker Egg has the Critic thinking it is the lovechild of Murky Dismal and an Ewok that shouldn't have existed in the first place. In addition, Baby Bop misnaming it "Twinklet" has him thinking it sounds like Piglett's prostitute name.
Special Effects Failure: In-Universe, the Critic pokes fun of the clearly CGI hot-air balloons.
Subverted Catchphrase: After the Critic gets a Groin Attack for making fun of his father at the end of his review:
Barney Walker: He's the Nostalgia Critic, and he's gonna remember that.
Take That!
- While listing other kids' shows people still have fond memories of (see Shout-Out above), the Critic skips over Caillou when it pops up in between Super Why! and WordGirl.
- The Critic compares Barney's creepy set of teeth (complemented with his deaf-fish eyes) to Sonic the Hedgehog's infamous, semi-realistic look from early trailers to his 2020 film, as well as pictures of sharks photoshopped with a set of human teeth.
- When the scene of Cody still trying to disprove Barney's existence transitions via side wipe to nighttime at the house, a startled Critic thought George Lucas took over the direction, before reminding himself that Barney is already there (i.e., the infamous Jar-Jar Binks from The Phantom Menace).
"The Reason You Suck" Speech: An indirect variation. Critic explaining why Barney the Dinosaur is so hated:
Critic: So, looking at this eye-saurus after all these years, it is hitting me with more clarity why it's so easy to dislike him. One of the biggest reasons: he's creepy looking! When you compare him to, say, Disney characters or the Muppets, who spent years trying to perfect their designs, you can start to tell why. First off: the eyes. They're the most expressive part of the face, so either making them very large and complex or smaller and simpler can make a big difference. Barney's eyes are both big in the wrong way and small in the wrong way. The actual size of his eyes are tiny, but not simple enough to leave a gentle impact. Yet his pupils are huge and literally glassy, always looking dead, stoned, or possessed by Yoshi Satan! On top of that, his weird-ass teeth! Again, Disney and the Muppets rarely incorporated that much dental unless they wanted them to look intentionally weird. You probably noticed a big smile with a lot of teeth often comes across as domineering, or even a little scary. Heck, just look at this asshole! And not making them sharp, if anything, kinda makes it even more creepy. Remember when Sonic had normal-looking teeth? Remember when sharks were photoshopped with normal teeth? It didn't help anything; it just made shit scarier! So before Barney even says a word, you're already put off by him. But, books and covers and all that; maybe his personality has more charm than I remember.
Barney: (standing in a bathtub) Towel, please!
Critic: Well, Barney bathing naked in front of little kids is certainly a good start!
Cody: Real dinosaurs don't laugh! (Cody laughs in a mocking tone) There aren't any real dinosaurs anymore!
(The whole time Cody is talking, Barney just laughs)
Critic: You know, maybe that's another big factor. I mean, that kid just insulted Barney and all he did was laugh! Which for some characters could work, but for Barney, you know he's just gonna be happy...and that's it. And believe it or not, even for little kids, that's not very relatable. Think about why other children's icons stayed with you: because they showed they were more than one emotion. Mister Rogers could talk about sad things like death, depression, difficult emotions.
Daniel Tiger: What does "assassination" mean?
Critic: Big Bird could feel awful when he finds out he's never gonna see someone ever again.
Susan: When people die, they don't come back.
Big Bird: Ever?
Critic: It's not just one emotion a great children's character can express—it's a gamut of emotions that all kids feel.
Fred Rogers: To understand those feelings, and to better respond to them, is what I feel is the most important task in our world.
Critic: Barney would never feel sad, or angry, or confused. He was just happy all the time, which, after a while, comes across as phony and even kinda shallow. And don't get me wrong, I know it's weird to analyze something meant for, like, little little kids, but part of this analysis is figuring out why everyone else hated him so much. Part of that may be because we remember relating to other kids' media because it taught us how emotions and conflict work, as well as numbers and letters. And all they had to do was simply have more than one emotion. Imagine Barney having any other emotion other than happy. It would be crazy, because neither his physical nor emotional designs support it. He couldn't have the conversations they had on Sesame Street or Mister Rogers because there was so little to him. Imagine if he did; it'd just turn out insane!
Critic!Barney: Hi, kids! What does "assassination" mean? Is that when someone gets killed in a surprise way? That's what happened, you know! That man killed that other man!
Critic: I can't even keep going! It's just too uncomfortable to process! Yet Daniel Tiger—a sock puppet—does it and it feels more genuine because he isn't obnoxiously happy all the time! Kids can process their emotions as well as information without even knowing they're doing it, and Barney flat out rejects that. All of that, in my opinion, is why he gets on so many people's nerves.
Unintentional Uncanny Valley: In-Universe, only a few minutes into Barney's appearance, the Critic already has an epiphany as to why he has quite the hatedom, namely his creepy appearance (i.e., small, inexpressive eyes (which he claims are even more frighteningly wide when viewed from a higher angle) and rows of semi-realistic teeth) and his perpetually (and equally creepy) cheery disposition even in serious moments.
Weirdness Censor: Amidst all the weirdness of the film, the Critic finds Barney's ability to speak French the weirdest thing out there.
Worst. Whatever. Ever!: Subverted. The Critic concedes that, as bad as most people remember it (including himself), he simply accepts the fact that it is a decent, if forgettable, distraction for its target demographic of toddlers and preschoolers.