"Well, it's been a quiet week in Lake Wobegon, Minnesota, my hometown, out on the edge of the prairie."
The traditional opener for the "News from Lake Wobegon" segment.
One of the more popular old-time radiovariety shows still in existence, A Prairie Home Companion was created by Garrison Keillor in 1974 and continues to broadcast faithfully from St. Paul (and various other locations in the U.S. and abroad) every Saturday to a totally loyal audience. It's popular for several reasons, chiefly nostalgia for the good old days of radio—which this is very, very evocative of—and Keillor's distinctivecomedic style.Though the guest stars and location vary, the segments almost always included are:
The News from Lake Wobegon: Garrison relates the goings-on in his (fictional) hometown of Lake Wobegon, Minnesota; as noted above, while it's always been a quiet week, a lot manages to happen quietly, considering the Eccentric Townsfolk. This is the most beloved feature, and Keillor has written books about Lake Wobegon.
Guy Noir: Private Eye: An Affectionate Parody of, and homage to, the radio serials of the Thirties and Forties (and, of course, Film Noir in general), delivered in Private Eye Monologue by Garrison and the inevitable Love Interest with invariably tight clothing ("jeans so tight I could see the mint mark on the quarter in her pocket," for instance) as he tries to solve various cases of missing persons, pets, and items.
The Lives of the Cowboys: A humorous look at the archetypal cowboy and what his life would be like in the modern era. Dusty and Lefty reassure others that they mean "partner" in theold sense, ponder selling out, and occasionally get an off-the-wall episode such as "the free-range chicken" ("Look out! He's got a six-shooter!").
Parody Commercials: Though they also advertise real products, they also always present a humorous fake product or two for sale, the most well known of which (because of its insane Ear Worm of a Jingle that the band always turns into a Dixieland jam session) is "Powdermilk Biscuits - Gives shy people the strength to get up and do what needs to be done."
Beebop-A-Ree-Bop Rhubarb Pie: In a similar vein to the Catchup Advisory Board, usually involves a long and drawn-out tale of failure and humiliation, up until the edge of complete ruin. Narrated by Garrison with appropriate sound effects. Always finishes with the catchy jingle and the phrase "Nothing gets the taste of humiliation out of your mouth like Beebop-A-Ree-Bop Rhubarb Pie."
Powdermilk Biscuits: This is basically an excuse for the band to do an extended bluegrass jam session, which Keillor always tops off with a brief vocal jingle:
Has your family tried 'em? Powdermilk! Has your family tried 'em? Powdermilk! If your family's tried 'em then you know you've satisfied 'em They're a real hot item, Powdermilk!
Café Boeuf: An elite restaurant with Maurice the maitre d', who tends to be especially snooty, sometimes even insulting customers that do not meet their standards of class.
Shout-Outs: Before the show, people in the audience write down their hellos and personal messages to their loved ones. Post-Intermission, Keillor tries to read as many as he can. (Example: Mick and Sharon want to say hi to Ed and Doris: Congratulations on the baby, Doris! Sorry we can't enjoy the cranberries and stuffing with you this year, but we'll see you next Thanksgiving, God willing. We promise to bring the oyster stuffing, and we also promise notto bring the dog!) This was actually a fairly common thing to do in the early days of radio, when not everyone had access to a telephone, they would listen to the radio at a set time to hear the announcements to and from various people.
There is also always lots of folk music and general humor.
Affectionate Parody: Much of the source material, especially Guy Noir and The Lives of the Cowboys, based respectively on old-time private eyes shows like The Shadow and lesser-known radio Westerns, respectively. The Lake Wobegon skits are all parodic takes on nostalgic small-town media.
Everybody Owns A Ford: Non - Product Placement variation; Every Lutheran drives a Ford; every Catholic drives a Chevy, the local dealers being members of those two churches respectively. Oh, and don't even think of buying the wrong make (or, heaven help you, foreign), lest you fall victim to a potato up your tailpipe.
Expospeak Gag: This episode of Guy Noir has a young enterprising startup woman tell Guy all about platforms that facilitate user-generated content, exchange of said content along with intercultural exchanges, and automatically curate said content. In other words: platforms you step on and talk to other people.
Foreign Queasine: Lutefisk, lutefisk, lutefisk. Prepared in the trunk of the local seafood store owner's car, since it kills all his other business if he makes it in the shop and his wife won't allow it in the house.
Foreigner for a Day: Lake Wobegon regards itself as part of Minnesota (and the United States) despite not officially being part of the state because of a cartographer's error when Minnesota was officially surveyed.
Sue Scott's character: If I had a nickel for every time I have seen people talking on the phone while they drove today, I could buy the Taj Mahal. Or a studio apartment in Brooklyn.
Keep Circulating the Tapes: It's one of the few public radio shows not archived in its entirety online, due to music licensing issues. Comedy segments are available, however, and there are cassette and CD sets floating about.
Kung-Foley: To insane amounts; besides the "Fred Feral" animal noises routine, the Foley men (normally alternating, but occasionally dueling) have in the past simulated a helicopter hovering over a house being torn apart by an earthquake as pterodactyls close in. Occasionally lampshaded and lampooned - Guy Noir sometimes runs into people who think they can do pretty good sound impressions.
Minnesota Nice: Often parodied. Appropriate, given the show's setting.
Nothing Exciting Ever Happens Here: Averted — Lake Wobegon is in the middle of nowhere, and not that much that's really exciting ever does happen there; it's always "a quiet week in Lake Wobegon." Most of the humor relies on small, strange day-to-day events. There's a big stir when one of the townswomen goes to Hollywood and comes back.
Parody Commercial: The aforementioned "Powdermilk Biscuits" routine, "Beebop-A-Ree-Bop Rhubarb Pie" ("Sweetening the sour taste of failure throughout the generations") and the "Catsup Advisory Board".
Back in the day, they also had "Raw Bits" cereal, with the tag line "Do you qualify for Raw Bits?" (poking fun at a then-current Grape Nuts slogan, "It's not 'Are Grape Nuts good enough for you,' but 'Are you good enough for Grape Nuts?'"). Potential customers had to go through an application process to see if they were good enough for Raw Bits.
We advertise on this show because we find the listeners tend to make good candidates for Raw Bits. About fifteen percent of you make it. Raw Bits: it's not just a cereal; it's a moral statement!
Private Eye Monologue: Guy Noir speaks entirely in this—"She wore jeans so tight I could read the serial number on the wrench in her front pocket."
Product Placement: A Toyota Prius was mentioned as a prize in a Life of Bob sketch, Toyota having underwritten the show at that time.
When Ford was underwriting the show, he performed a folk tribute to the brand, it being one of the few makes that had been already established as being driven in Lake Wobegon.
"Oh, hear that old piano, from down the avenue. I smell the [insert city-related objects], I look around for you My sweet, sweet old someone, comin' through that door It's Saturday an' The band is playin', Honey, could we ask for more?"
Prior to that, it had been "Hello, Love," by Hank Snow
"Well, look who's coming through the door I think we've met somewhere before Hello love, hello love Where in the world have you been so long? I've missed you so since you've been gone Hello love, hello love"
Shaggy Dog Story: Every single "Beebop-a-Reebop Rhubarb Pie" commercial. Some Guy Noir stories end up like this.
10-Minute Retirement: The show was officially set to end in the late 80's, and they had a big, very memorable farewell show. But then they had a reunion show a year later, and another one the year after that, and eventually it came back as if it had never left.
Tongue on the Flagpole: Garrison Keillor suggests that the ability to hypnotize children into doing this is an innate ability of pump handles and other metallic objects.
Where The Hell Is Springfield?: Lake Wobegon is in central Minnesota, but doesn't appear on any maps because the state was charted by four surveyors, starting at opposite corners and meeting in the middle, and Lake Wobegon is right where the maps they'd made overlapped. True story.
Furthermore, the "hole" in the map consists of Mist County, of which Lake Wobegon is county seat. The only reason they have any train service at all is because the tracks were laid there by mistake. And you have to petition for each and every train to come there, because nobody has heard of the place.
Word of God is that Lake Wobegon was inspired by two small Minnesota towns where Keillor lived: Freeport (a half-hour's drive west of St. Cloud) and Marine-on-St. Croix (about 40 miles northeast of Minneapolis-St. Paul). Freeport especially plays up the connection. They replaced an abandoned stretch of railroad with a hiking trail and called it the Lake Wobegon Trail. Also there's a Keillor-sanctioned photo book called In Search of Lake Wobegon featuring pics of various tiny central Minnesota towns that could be viewed as real-life versions of Lake Wobegon (such as Holdingford and Saint Rosa).
"And that's the news from Lake Wobegon, where all the women are strong, all the men are good lookin', and all the children are above average."
The traditional closer for the "News from Lake Wobegon" segment.