Quotes: Space Whale Aesop
"The lesson being taught to children here really was that you should never shrink anyone. And more importantly, you should never get a job writing cartoons when your main hobbies are recreational drugs and head injuries."
“BUCKLE UP: It’s The Law And Also Two-Face Will Kill You.”
"I guess that's a lesson all of us can relate to: If you live in a giant mansion and want a picture of your baby in the paper, you better
care about your baby too, or else he'll get kidnapped, crawl across a busy street, and a truck'll drive over him."
"The underlying message of '
the stuff in cigarettes will turn you into an unfeeling monster and you’ll end up fighting yourself in a junkyard' is basically a thousand times better than anything those 'Truth' ads ever came up with... If Evil Superman got stuck in an old refrigerator at some point, 80s cartoons would’ve been rendered entirely irrelevant."
"So, on the one hand, we have complex issues related to political marriage and the question of self-determination versus social indoctrination... and on the other, we have Ferengi, dolphins, and now,
xylophones. You know, it's like a collision between a Gloria Steinem treatise and a Mad-Libs."
: You say “waterboarded,” and to be fair, both water and a board are involved, but it’s not waterboarding at all. It’s like dunking pilgrim ladies to see if they’re witches. It’s clearly Smallville
trying to send a message about global politics, but instead they just slap together a scene that’s a total super-villain deathtrap
rather than the actual technique
that’s been in the news for like five years. It’s they heard the word and just went with the first thing they thought it was
. It’s the hilarious ineptitude of the show that we’ve come to know and love.
"'It's just meat, that's all!' I turned vegetarian almost a year ago and this episode re-enforces my decision. Not because I think that for the first 33 years of my life that I was eating chunks of bloody alien hide..."
"Disney finally has a message for the parents: if you don't nurture your children's gifts they'll think they're freaks, isolate themselves, and freeze your entire kingdom."
—Tumblr poster stop-saying-no
"The moral of the story is real good on this one - it's 'Don't be unlucky and be a dog.' ... Thassa good one."
"Well, Mario, did we learn some kind of horribly unlikely to occur lesson today?"
—Luigi, Mario Adventures
: Hmmm, there's a lesson in all this. Eglamore
: Okay, let's hear it. Bob
: Never let sixty angry kids use a herd of Laser Cows to take over your house.
"Remember, kids, if you work hard and never let go of your dream, one day your rich idiot friend will just shove lots of money into your hands."
I think I learned a valuable lesson. Always take down your Christmas decorations after New Year's or you get filleted by a hooker from God.
"Premarital sex turns straight people gay and gays into Mexicans. We all go down a notch!" [much later] "...and, if you have sex, you're automatically in Al Qaeda."
and Jerry Kirkwood
, Family Guy
, "Prick Up Your Ears"
"Hmmm. You know, there might be an environmental message to this: don't sell your land to mining companies. Or else the Slender Man will get you."
that's why you always leave a note!
—J. Walter Weatherman
in Arrested Development
, shortly after being struck by a van and losing an arm