History Quotes / SpaceWhaleAesop

->''"Having to go first all the time only leads to trouble! Like getting burned up by the sun! [[LampshadeHanging Now, the consequences are not always so extreme]], [[AnAesop but good things come to those who wait]]."''

->"Their burgers will kill you! They're full of wasps!
-->-- '''April''', ''Series/ParksAndRecreation'' ("Two Parties")

->"I think I learned a valuable lesson. Always take down your Christmas decorations after New Year's or you get filleted by a hooker from God."
-->-- '''Dean,''' ''Series/{{Supernatural}}'', [[{{Recap/SupernaturalS02E13HousesOfTheHoly}} "Houses of the Holy"]]

->"A wise dragon once told me, 'Aim high in life, but watch out for [[EverythingTryingToKillYou flying boxes]].'"

[[folder:Web Original]]

-->-- ''{{Website/Cracked}}'' [[http://www.cracked.com/article_19923_6-movies-with-political-agendas-you-didnt-notice.html on]] ''{{Film/Ghostbusters|1984}}''

-->-- '''[[http://docohobigfinish.blogspot.co.uk/2015/11/the-zygon-invasion-written-by-peter.html Joe Ford]]''' on ''Series/DoctorWho'', [[{{Recap/DoctorWhoS35E7TheZygonInvasion}} "The Zygon Invasion"]]

->''"Cool kids don’t [[IndianBurialGround desecrate burial sites for starship fuel]]. [[AndKnowingIsHalfTheBattle Knowing is half the battle.]] I’m Chakotay, thanks for watching."''
-->-- '''[[http://them0vieblog.com/2014/10/03/star-trek-voyager-emanations-review/ Darren Mooney]]''' on ''Series/StarTrekVoyager'', "Emanations"

-->-- '''''Website/TheAgonyBooth''''' on ''Star Trek: Voyager'', [[{{Recap/StarTrekVoyagerS2E15Threshold}} "Threshold"]]

->''BUCKLE UP: It’s The Law And Also Two-Face Will Kill You.''

->'''David''': It was prime time network television, and it featured Deathstroke the Terminator [[EnhancedInterrogationTechniques waterboarding]] Green Arrow. I just want to point this out to our readers: This happened.\\
'''Chris''': It’s like dunking pilgrim ladies to see if they’re witches.
-->-- ''[=ComicsAlliance=]'' [[http://comicsalliance.com/recap-smallville-episode-10-9-patriot/ on]] ''{{Series/Smallville}}'' ("Patriot")

->''Batman decides to [[WouldHitAGirl smack Silver around a bit]]…but it’s okay, because she understands that he did it because he loves her and thinks [[ActuallyADoombot she might be a robot]]. Oh well. At least he apologizes. This is all done, [[NotMakingThisUpDisclaimer I swear to God]], so that Batman can learn that not everyone is a robot. He has to learn to TRUST.''
-->-- '''Chris Sims''', [[http://comicsalliance.com/worst-of-the-worst-batman-the-widening-gyre-6/?trackback=tsmclip "Worst of the Worst: ‘Batman: The Widening Gyre’ #6"]]

-->-- '''{{Creator/Seanbaby}}''', "[[http://www.cracked.com/blog/6-super-friends-villains-that-didnt-give-4023252A/#ixzz2fq2mEeuM 6 Super friends Villains That Didn't Give a Shit]]

-->-- '''''Blog/BloggerBeware''''' on the ''Literature/{{Goosebumps}}'' novel "Literature/MonsterBlood"

[[folder:Web Video]]
->"It's like a collision between a [[{{UsefulNotes/Feminism}} Gloria Steinem]] treatise and a Mad-Libs."
-->-- '''WebSite/SFDebris''' on ''Series/StarTrekTheNextGeneration'', "The Perfect Mate"

->"This is what could only be expressed by going to space? This message was so profound that they [[BadassDecay had to make Mewtwo suck]] just to deliver it?"
-->-- [[WebVideo/WhatWeHadToWatch Il Neige]] [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OgJSW44bn-Y on]] ''Anime/PokemonGenesectAndTheLegendAwakened''

->"I've learned you shouldn't steal pokemon, because then the police will coerce you into cock-fighting and you'll be carpet bombed by the {{Yakuza}}."

->"If there's one important lesson to take away from this story, [[GreenAesop it's the need to develop clean, renewable energy]]. ({{Beat}}) You know, to prevent oil monsters that eat people. I guess."
-->-- '''[[WebVideo/BrandonsCultMovieReviews Brandon]]''' regarding ''Film/CreepShow2''

->"I guess that's a lesson all of us can relate to: If you live in a giant mansion and want a picture of your baby in the paper, you better ''care'' about your baby too, or else [[{{Slapstick}} he'll get kidnapped, crawl across a busy street, and a truck'll drive over him.]]"
-->-- '''WebVideo/RedLetterMedia''', ''Film/BabysDayOut''

->"With this, Uwe Boll touches on the issue of racial identity, and how it makes us ''all'' feel at times that we're half-vampire and half-human, hungry for blood but also worrying about water maybe burning us a bit."

->"Y'know, it's true: Reading really does open up [[Series/ReadingRainbow a rainbow of imagination]]--and also ''blood, horror and'' '''[[TomeOfEldritchLore MURDER!]]'''"

->"Hmmm. You know, there might be an environmental message to this: don't sell your land to mining companies. Or else the [[Franchise/TheSlenderManMythos Slender Man]] will get you."
-->-- '''[[WebVideo/DragonBallZAbridged Krillin]]''', in [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ESLJJvM30-Y his playthrough]] of ''VideoGame/SlenderTheArrival''.

->"The moral of this story is: Never think, or else the secret police might catch you and kill you no matter what. If it's good for the kids, it's good for the adults!"
-->--'''{{WebVideo/JonTron}}''' on the ''Series/Goosebumps1995'' episode "[[Recap/Goosebumps1995S3E4DontGoToSleep Don't Go to Sleep!]]"

->"...Ok, for real, I've seen claymations better than this s***t. I mean, what was the life lesson here? eat a carrot and turn into a damn superhero and beat the crap out of a chicken?"

-->--'''Creator/JamesRolfe''' on ''Film/GodzillaVsHedorah''

[[folder:Webcomics]]
->''"Well, Mario, did we learn some kind of horribly unlikely to occur lesson today?"''
-->-- '''Luigi''', ''Webcomic/MarioAdventures''

->'''Bob:''' Hmmm, there's a lesson in all this.\\
'''Eglamore:''' Okay, let's hear it.\\
'''Bob:''' Never let sixty angry kids use a herd of Laser Cows to take over your house.
-->-- ''Webcomic/GunnerkriggCourt'', [[http://www.gunnerkrigg.com/archive_page.php?comicID=632 after a major victory for the students.]]

->'''Aphrodite:''' The mortal has learned his lesson, release him.\\
'''Zeus:''' What lesson? He's fucking a rock.\\
'''Aphrodite:''' That's a great lesson if you're attracted to rocks.
-->-- ''{{Webcomic/Oglaf}}'', "Sisyphus"
[[/folder]]

'''Finn:''' Heck, yeah! If I break a royal promise, I get to fight zombies, throw slumber parties, awake gumball guardians, and--and--\\

-->-- '''Jason,''' ''WesternAnimation/ThreeTwoOnePenguins'' "Trouble on Planet Wait-Your-Turn"

'''Mr Asparagus:''' ''(dumbfounded)'' Well, I don't think Fernando could do those kinds of things.

-->--'''{{WebVideo/JonTron}}''' on the ''{{Series/Goosebumps}}'' episode "Literature/DontGoToSleep"

->''"The next day, Billy's planet was destroyed by aliens. Can you guess the name of that planet? It was ''Earth!'' '''[[PunctuatedForEmphasis DON'T. DATE. ROBOTS!]]'''"''

-->-- ''WesternAnimation/{{Veggietales}}''

[[folder:Films -- Animated]]

-->--'''[[WebVideo/AtopTheFourthWall Snowflame]]''', after discovering ''WesternAnimation/MyLittlePonyFriendshipIsMagic'' during a three-day long boute of insomnia

-->--'''WebVideo/TheRapCritic''' on Music/{{Common}}'s "Chapter 13 (Rich Man VS Poor Man)"

->'''Bob''': Hmmm, there's a lesson in all this.\\
'''Eglamore''': Okay, let's hear it.\\
'''Bob''': Never let sixty angry kids use a herd of Laser Cows to take over your house.
-->-- Webcomic/GunnerkriggCourt, [[http://www.gunnerkrigg.com/archive_page.php?comicID=632 after a major victory for the students.]]

-->--''{{Webcomic/Oglaf}}'', "Sisyphus"

->"Having to go first all the time only leads to trouble! Like getting burned up by the sun! [[LampshadeHanging Now, the consequences are not always so extreme,]] [[AnAesop but good things come to those who wait.]]"

->"This is what happens when you don't share!"
-->-- '''Truffles''' to ''WesternAnimation/{{Chowder}}'', "Grubble Gum", after all of Marzipan City is trapped in a giant ''VideoGame/KatamariDamacy''-esque gum ball

->"The next day, Billy's planet was destroyed by aliens. Can you guess the name of that planet? It was ''Earth!'' '''DON'T. DATE. ROBOTS!'''"
-->--'''WesternAnimation/{{Futurama}}''

[[folder: Real Life]]
->''Those witches did not exist. Communists do. Here, and everywhere in the world. It’s a false parallel.''

-->--''WebVideo/TheRapCritic'' on ''Music/{{Common}}'''s "Chapter 13 (Rich Man VS Poor Man)"

-->'''Alice:''' [[TriviallyObvious That was a very sad story.]]\\

-->-- '''Wiki/TFWikiDotNet''' caption for [[https://tfwiki.net/wiki/Megatron_(BW)/Beast_Wars_cartoon_continuity Beast Wars Megatron's cartoon continuity page]]

'''Mr Asparagus:'''''(dumbfounded)''Well, I don't think Fernando could do those kinds of things.

[[folder:Films-Animated]]

->'''Michael''': I need the guy with the fake arm. J. Walter Weatherman.\\
'''George, Sr.''': Oh, he's dead. You killed him when you left the door open with the air conditioner on.

-->-- '''''Blog/BloggerBeware''''' on the ''Literature/{{Goosebumps}}'' novel "Monster Blood"

-->-- '''Creator/JimSterling''' on ''Film/{{BloodRayne}}''

-->--'''{{WebVideo/JonTron}}''' on the ''{{Series/Goosebumps}}'' episode "Don't Go to Sleep!"

[[folder:Live-action TV]]

-->--''Series/ArrestedDevelopment''

-->--'''April''', ''Series/ParksAndRecreation'' ("Two Parties")

-->--'''Dean,''' ''Series/{{Supernatural}}'', [[{{Recap/SupernaturalS02E13HousesOfTheHoly}} "Houses of the Holy"]]

-->--'''[[http://them0vieblog.com/2014/10/03/star-trek-voyager-emanations-review/ Darren Mooney]]''' on ''Series/StarTrekVoyager'', "Emanations"

-->--'''''Website/TheAgonyBooth''''' on ''Star Trek: Voyager'', [[{{Recap/StarTrekVoyagerS2E15Threshold}} "Threshold"]]

-->--''[=ComicsAlliance=]'' [[http://comicsalliance.com/recap-smallville-episode-10-9-patriot/ on]] ''{{Series/Smallville}}'' ("Patriot")

-->--'''Wiki/TFWikiDotNet''' caption for [[https://tfwiki.net/wiki/Megatron_(BW)/Beast_Wars_cartoon_continuity Beast Wars Megatron's cartoon continuity page]]

-->--'''''Blog/BloggerBeware''''' on the ''Literature/{{Goosebumps}}'' novel "Monster Blood"

-->--'''WebSite/SFDebris''' on ''Series/StarTrekTheNextGeneration'', "The Perfect Mate"

-->--'''[[WebVideo/ThatDudeInTheSuede Suede]]''', "Suede's Pokemon Journey, Episode 49: So Near, yet so Farfetch'd."

-->--'''[[WebVideo/BrandonsCultMovieReviews Brandon]]''' regarding ''Film/CreepShow2''

-> "Hmmm. You know, there might be an environmental message to this: don't sell your land to mining companies. Or else the [[Franchise/TheSlenderManMythos Slender Man]] will get you."
-->--'''[[WebVideo/DragonBallZAbridged Krillin]]''', in [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ESLJJvM30-Y his playthrough]] of ''VideoGame/SlenderTheArrival''.

-> "...Ok, for real, I've seen claymations better than this s***t. I mean, what was the life lesson here? eat a carrot and turn into a damn superhero and beat the crap out of a chicken?"

-->--'''Luigi''', ''Webcomic/MarioAdventures''

-->--Webcomic/GunnerkriggCourt, [[http://www.gunnerkrigg.com/archive_page.php?comicID=632 after a major victory for the students.]]

-->--''WesternAnimation/AdventureTime''

-->--'''Jason,''' ''WesternAnimation/ThreeTwoOnePenguins'' "Trouble on Planet Wait-Your-Turn"

-->-- [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=synD876GDbM Review]] for ''Literature/ToddsTV''

->''"If you're going to argue against television watching in and of itself, you'd better have a stronger argument than 'It might come alive and try to adopt your children'."''

[[folder:Video games]]

[[folder:Web original]]

[[folder:Web video]]

[[folder:Western animation]]

'''Finn:''' --and reverse time itself!!

[[folder]]