Quotes: Screw the Rules, I Have Money!

Impunity, n.


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    Comic Books 

"Y'know what money can buy? A solid gold gun. That shoots diamond bullets."

"I have the greatest power of all, Mister Miracle. I am so rich, I can do anything."
Most Excellent Superbat, Final Crisis

    Film — Live-Action 

"I am no gentleman, no, but I have money."

"Control the cash-box, and you control the world."
Mr. Jorkin, A Christmas Carol (1951 film)

"Without money nobody likes, or trusts you. But to have money is to be virtuous, beautiful, honest and witty. To have none is to be ugly, and boring, and stupid, and useless!"
Ragpicker, The Madwoman of Chaillot

"Bick, you shoulda shot that fella a long time ago. Now he's too rich to kill."
Uncle Bawley, Giant

Dwight Dickham: You defended that Miluawkee beer baron's kid, the one who went slumming in Gary. 40 million in the bank, 1 dead prostitute? By God, you're good. Best verdict money can buy.
Hank Palmer: Everybody wants Atticus Finch 'til there's a dead hooker in a hot tub.
Dickham: There's your bumper sticker.

Eddie: How did that gargoyle get to be a Judge?
Santino: Spread a bunch of simoleons around Toontown a couple of years back back, bought the election.

Joe Moore: (accepts change) Makes the world go round.
Bobby Blane: What's that?
Joe: Gold.
Bobby: Some people say 'love.'
Joe Well, they're right, too. It is love. Love of gold.

Tony Hoyle: Let the law take these guys down. You know, sometimes the law works.
Paul Kersey: And sometimes it doesn't! These people, they steal, they murder, they destroy people's lives and get away with it! They have alibis, money, lawyers, power. They have everything.

Strannix: What are you gonna do when you get two hundred million dollars in the bank?
Commander Krill: Buy the presidency!

There are many things you'll never understand. This is one of them. [Holding a stack of dollars while looking at Frank's drawn gun] You see, Frank, there are many kinds of weapons. And the only one that can stop that is this. Now, shall we get back to our little problem?

Arthur: But you'd have to buy out the entire cabin. And the first class flight attendant...
Saito: I bought the airline.
[Everyone looks at Saito incredulously]
Saito: (awkward) It seemed neater.

    Film — Animated 

"You've heard of the Golden Rule, haven't you? 'Whoever has the gold makes the rules.'"
Jafar, Aladdin

"You and I both know the real power in this world ain't magic - it's MONEY! Buckets of it."
Doctor Facilier, The Princess and the Frog


"For the love of money is the root of all evil: which while some coveted after, they have erred from the faith, and pierced themselves through with many sorrows."

"It is easier for a camel to enter the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the Kingdom of God."
'Jesus Christ

"Let me tell you about the very rich. They are different from you and me. They possess and enjoy early, and it does something to them, makes them soft where we are hard, and cynical where we are trustful, in a way that, unless you were born rich, it is very difficult to understand. They think, deep in their hearts, that they are better than we are because we had to discover the compensations and refuges of life for ourselves. Even when they enter deep into our world or sink below us, they still think that they are better than we are. They are different."
F. Scott Fitzgerald, Rich Boy

'"The very rich can afford to give offense wherever they go."''
Elizabeth Bennett, Pride and Prejudice

"Crime is for poor people. You don't have to rob a bank when you own it."

"Whose peace do the Goldcloaks enforce when the Hand proclaims one king and the Queen other? [Laughs] The man who pays them."
Petyr "Littlefinger" Baelish, A Song of Ice and Fire/Game of Thrones

"Ian rolled his eyes. Laws were for poor people."
Operation Trinity, The 39 Clues

"Those of you I havenít been in contact with, please hear me out. Iím paying twice what Calvert is for a yearís salary, and Iím paying it all upfront. Look to the other team captains if you donít believe me. Fish, Minor, Richards, Meck, Iíve talked to them, and theyíve agreed."
Tattletale bribes her way out of being shot, Worm

    live-action tv 

Helena: I'm quite happy to finish my time and pay my debt to society.
Peggy Peabody: Helena, for God's sake, pull yourself together. You're a Peabody.
Helena: What difference does that make?
Peggy Peabody: Peabodys don't have debts, darling. Not to anyone. And certainly not to society.
The L Word, "Lady of the Lake"

Abbie Carmichael: The laws for the rich are different.
Jack McCoy: What laws for the rich?


Money, money, money
Must be funny
In the rich man's world
Money, money, money
Always sunny
In the rich man's world"
— "Money, Money, Money", Abba

    newspaper comics 

King of Id: Remember the Golden Rule.
Peasant: What's the Golden Rule, sire?
Another peasant: Whoever has the gold makes the rules.

    Professional Wrestling 

Everybody's got a price
Everybody's gonna pay
'Cause the Million Dollar Man
Always gets his way!
Some may cost a little
Some may cost a lot
But I'm the Million Dollar Man
And you will be bought!


I follow the Golden Rule
How can a man resist?
When the gold in his hand
Lets him rule the land
With an iron fist!
— "The Golden Rule (Dark Reprise)", Twisted

And it's very very funny
When you've lots and lots of money
To be horrible to those with none
— "The Chorus of the New York Upper Crust", How to Make your Own Gilbert and Sullivan Opera

When I think of the good things that life has to give,
I'm reluctantly forced to agree
That the number of people who know how to live
Is restricted, quite simply, to me.

For life is like cricket: we play by the rules
But the secret which few people know,
Which keep men of class well apart from the fools
Is to think up the rules as you go.

    Video Games 

"Fuck you! I shoot money!"


"Objection! The jury will note that my client is a wealthy celebrity!"

    Web Original 

"The needs of the money outweigh the needs of you."
Spock David Wong

"I'm incredibly rich, so no one will think of pressing charges."

"The thing is that where I'm from, laws favored the rich and business savvy. The Corporate Dispute Zone don't favor the lower class that much."
Kaitlyn, We Are Our Avatars

"It's a shame rich megalomaniacs are immune from the law. Otherwise, we could just call the police."
Yugi, Yu-Gi-Oh! The Abridged Series

"Your Holiness," said a Sentry quietly and respectfully, "A diplomat from the Scottish Empire requests an audience."

"Send him in, please," smiled Alferius, looking forward to this. The Scots had been mad enough to have their Cardinal vote against his predecessor, and then him! Now would come the grovelling, as their barely reconciled Empire desperately tried to keep clear of excommunication once more. Well, Alferius had plans for them, and he didn't think the Scots were going to like any of them. Now that he was Pope, there was no force short of God that could prevent him from having his own way, and HE was the one who decided what God "thought".

The doors closed behind the Scottish Diplomat as he entered, and Alferius recognised Gille Calline The Balleol, a well known and well liked Diplomat who had dined with and maintained good relationships with Pope Stephanus. What he didn't recognize was the fixed expression of determination on the Diplomat's face, or the large sack he carried with him. Gille strode purposefully across the length of the office to the massive desk behind which sat the Pope, cursing himself for not standing earlier and now placing himself in a weak looking position. But he needn't have bothered, the normally subtle and careful Gille was acting under Prince Edmund's orders today, and he was anything but subtle.

"Your Holiness," he grunted, upending the sack he held and pouring a massive pile of florins onto the desk, "You have no problem with the Scottish Empire."
And Alferius, well known for his rather "uncatholic" tastes, stared at the money for only a few seconds before saying, "I have no problem with the Scottish Empire.""

"Organized greed always defeats disorganized democracy."
Matt Taibbi

"I thought that getting caught on tape trespassing on your neighborís property and covering their house with breakfast foods while acting like a total piece of human garbage would be the kind of thing you do a bit of time for, but I guess Lady Justice just does not give a fuck. Bitch probably pawned her sword and a scale for an 8-ball and a bottle of vodka. Every day is like 2-for-1 Margarita Hour at Baja Sharkeez for Lady Justice now. Iím sure you can find her every night at the club wearing her blindfold as a tube-top and working under the name Lady Just-A$$. "I sentence you to a good time! WOOO!""

" So now you know. The next a cop pulls you over for speeding on meth with a cage of smuggled Peruvian lizards in your trunk, slip that cop a cool $92 million and you'll be on your way."
Drew Magary, "Why Your Team Sucks 2014: Cleavland Browns"

    Web Video 

Malcolm: Hey whoa whoa hold on a sec. You want me to go BACK to an island with dinosaurs? have you seen Jurassic Park? Na na na, dat's OK, you deal with that yourself.
Hammond: Hey hey, c'mere for a second: I sent your girlfriend there alone, and Gigi, have fun, good luck, bon voyage.
Hammond: That's why you don't fuck with me. Imma stay here and eat some fuckin' steak, drink beer, get a BJ from a goddamn dinosaur, I don't give a fuck! I'm John Hammond! How many billions do I have again? *counts fingers* Oh that's right. Heheheheh!

"If you're sentenced to a jail cell in Santa Barbara, California, you should know that if you don't like the standard accommodations, you can buy a prison cell upgrade. It's true. For how much you think? It's not the Ritz Carlton. It's a jail! ($82.00 a night.)"

    western animation 

"I'm rich! I can do anything!"
Scrooge McDuck's Evil Twin, DuckTales

"Like they say, you can't be too rich, or too evil!"

Ward: What are your powers?
Augustus St. Cloud: I have an inordinate amount, of money.
The Venture Bros., "What Color Is Your Cleansuit?"

"No! I never lose! I'm too rich to lose!"
Remy Buxaplenty, The Fairly Oddparents storybook "Scout's Honor"

    Real Life 

"What power has the law where only money rules?"

"There is no wall that is high enough to stop a horse with a cart filled with gold."
Philip II of Macedon

"I sincerely believe that banking establishments are more dangerous than standing armies..."
Thomas Jefferson, 1816 letter

"History records that the money changers have used every form of abuse, intrigue, deceit, and violent means possible to maintain their control over governments by controlling money and its issuance."
James Madison

"The poor have sometimes objected to being governed badly; the rich have always objected to being governed at all."

"Money is the supreme good, therefore its possessor is good. Money, besides, saves me the trouble of being dishonest: I am therefore presumed honest. I am brainless, but money is the real brain of all things and how then should its possessor be brainless?"
Karl Marx, "The Power of Money"

"The only problem with capitalism is the capitalists."

"Mankind is divided into rich and poor, into property owners and exploited; and to abstract oneself from this fundamental division... means abstracting oneself from fundamental facts."

"The rich people are those who create wealth, and you have to treat them well so they continue to give wealth."
—Chilean dictator Augusto Pinochet, May 1988 speech

"We don't pay taxes. Only little people pay taxes."
Leona Helmsley, ALA the Queen of Mean

"Prosecutors may consider the collateral consequences of a corporate criminal conviction in determining whether to charge the corporation with a criminal offense."
—U.S. Attorney General Eric Holder, "Charging the Corporation: Collateral Consequences"

"Money is now a Great Wall of China separating American rich from poor, a division beginning to seem as eternal the Great Wall itself."
Gore Vidal, Point to Point Navigation