Quotes: Screw the Rules, I Have Connections!

    open/close all folders 

The law don't mean shit if you got the right friends
That's how this country's run
I fought the law and I won
I fought the law and I won.

To be famous is so nice
Suck my dick, kiss my ass
In limousines, we have sex
Every night with my famous friends
Miss Kittin & The Hacker, "Frank Sinatra"

Cordelia: Xander, I know you take pride in being the voice of the common wuss, but the truth is, certain people are entitled to special privileges. They're called winners. That's the way the world works.
Xander: And what about that nutty 'all men are created equal' thing?
Cordelia: Propaganda spouted out by the ugly and less deserving.

Roy Cohn: "Homosexuals" are men who, in 15 years of trying, cannot pass a pissant anti-discrimination bill through City Council. Homosexuals are men who know nobody, and who nobody knows. Who have zero clout. Does this sound like me, Henry?
Henry: No.
Cohn: No. I have clout. Lots. I pick up that phone, dial 15 numbers, and guess who's on the other end of the line? In under five minutes, Henry.
Henry: The President?
Cohn: Better, Henry! His wife.
Henry: I'm impressed.
Cohn: I don't want you to be impressed. I want you to understand. This is not sophistry, and this is not hypocrisy. This is reality. I have sex with men; but, unlike nearly every other man of which this is true, I bring the guy I'm screwing to the White House, and President Reagan smiles at us and shakes his hand.

James Bond: No matter what you do, I'm not gonna give you the password, which means your clients are gonna hunt you down and cut you into little pieces of meat while you're still breathing. Because if you kill me, there'll be nowhere else to hide—
Le Chiffre: But you are so wrong! 'Cause even after I slaughtered you and your little girlfriend, your people would still welcome me with open arms! Because they need what I know.
James Bond: (bitterly) The "big picture."

Alfred Woden had kept his word. With his influence, ridiculously, I had emerged from my history of violence unscathed, a hero. I didn't thank him. I couldn't stomach it.

Don't worry, Sweet's just fine. He gets touched, a prison guard goes home and finds that his wife and kids have been murdered. Everything's under control.

Admiral Pressman: I have a lot of friends at Starfleet Command, Captain!
Cap. Picard: (under his breath) You're going to need them.
Star Trek: The Next Generation, "The Pegasus"

Heather: She got voted out fair and square!
Courtney: Sorry, Heather, but myself and the law firm of Fleckman, Fleckman, Cohen, and Strauss would beg to differ. We filed a wrongful dismissal lawsuit against the producers, and won!
Total Drama Action, "Ocean's Eight (Or Nine)"

    real life 
Some men are born great, some achieve greatness, and some get it as a graduation gift, that's okay!
Robin Williams, Live on Broadway

And then thereís the delicate matter of final exams. Now when I was at Yale leading the TA grade strike at the end of the fall semester in 1995, the university ran into this problem, too. They solved it, in a bunch of cases, by having students simply write on a card the grade they thought they should get. Thatís the gentlemanís honor code.

...the Smith family has effectively gathered up our patience for parent-led stardom, tied it to an Acme rocket and launched it out of the universe. Arguably, there may have been some success with Jaden but if you throw Willow into the mix, heís pretty much been the Bill Murray to her Chris Elliot if nepotism was the auction in Groundhog Day.
Michael K., "I Love The Smell Of Nepotism In The Morning"

Back in 2007, Oprah had Jenny McCarthy on her show to promote some book she wrote (I believe it was called The Stupidest Shit Ever) about her son's autism. I never went to med school, but I do have Google (that counts) and, according to CDC statistics, more than 3.5 million Americans have an autism spectrum disorder for which scientists have yet to identify a definite cause. But McCarthy, who also did not go to med school (but she was on Singled Out, which doesn't count), announced very matter-of-factly that her son's autism was caused by vaccinations, specifically the MMR vaccine...The result has been a gradual spike in measles cases, with 2014 boasting a record 23 outbreaks and 644 cases reported. Was that merely coincidence or the Oprah effect at work? You can take in the available information and decide for yourself, but please remember, one of the key proponents of the anti-vaccine movement earned her college degree in the public restroom at a Candies shoe store.

I don't care what talk show she appears on: you don't take medical advice from Jenny McCarthy. Even more importantly, if you're in charge of these things, definitely don't let her give that advice on the most influential daytime talk show in television history. Unfortunately, trusting her famous friends over modern medicine is kind of Oprah's thing.

This man was born concussed...It's as if God himself designed the perfect punchable face. Eli is the kind of guy who probably spends an entire airplane ride staring at the back of the seat in front of him. There's nothing there. Every time I see him on the TV, I want to wave my hand in front of him to see if he can process human movement.

Eli threw 27 picks last season, more than any other QB in the league. He threw five against Seattle alone. If his last name were anything other than Manning, Ryan Nassib would currently be the Giants' starting quarterback. Instead, here the Giants are again, stuck with Eli... Still fucking that chicken. Even The Simpsons aren't as stale these days.
Drew McGary, "Why Your Team Sucks 2014: New York Giants

Girls may be making its most profound point about shiftless, directionless Generation Y behind the scenes, as all four of the principal stars are the daughters of successful, Boomerish parents. And not just any old sort of blandly successful banker and lawyer parents ó these are men and women who've achieved a level of fame in the overlapping art and entertainment worlds. Dunham and her cast, however engaging you think they are or are not on screen, are proof of the trouble millennials have disentangling themselves from the success of their immediate progenitors.

Ayers has defended his bombings on the basis that they were acts of protest against the Vietnam War and they didn't kill anybody. Both claims are disingenuous. The bombings were not part of any strategy for protesting the war. They were part of the Weather Underground's then-public strategy of drawing the government into a civil crackdown that would cause a cycle of escalating violence that was somehow supposed to lead to a revolution. Bloodshed was at the core of that strategy. Of course, being a remote destruction kind of guy he wouldn't be directly involved in the bloodshed, and if the strategy failed his rich parents could bail him out (they eventually did).
''Rational Wiki' on Weather Underground co-founder Bill Ayers