Quotes: Screw the Rules, I Have Connections!

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    Film — Live-Action 

There's what, maybe five hundred people in this hospital? I could pump you full of bullets right now and I wouldn't be arrested. Everyone would lie for me—everyone who counts—otherwise all their own lies, everything that runs Sin City, it all comes tumbling down like a pack of cards.
Senator Roark, Sin City

James Bond: No matter what you do, I'm not gonna give you the password, which means your clients are gonna hunt you down and cut you into little pieces of meat while you're still breathing. Because if you kill me, there'll be nowhere else to hide—
Le Chiffre: But you are so wrong! 'Cause even after I slaughtered you and your little girlfriend, your people would still welcome me with open arms! Because they need what I know.
James Bond: (bitterly) The "big picture."

Bank: This town might have changed, but not me. I know people highly invested in my survival, and they are people who really know how to hurt in ways you can't even imagine.
Danny: Well, I know all the guys that you'd hire to come after me, and they like me better than you.

    Live-Action TV 

Roy Cohn: "Homosexuals" are men who, in 15 years of trying, cannot pass a pissant anti-discrimination bill through City Council. Homosexuals are men who know nobody, and who nobody knows. Who have zero clout. Does this sound like me, Henry?
Henry: No.
Cohn: No. I have clout. Lots. I pick up that phone, dial 15 numbers, and guess who's on the other end of the line? In under five minutes, Henry.
Henry: The President?
Cohn: Better, Henry! His wife.
Henry: I'm impressed.
Cohn: I don't want you to be impressed. I want you to understand. This is not sophistry, and this is not hypocrisy. This is reality. I have sex with men; but, unlike nearly every other man of which this is true, I bring the guy I'm screwing to the White House, and President Reagan smiles at us and shakes his hand.

Cordelia: Xander, I know you take pride in being the voice of the common wuss, but the truth is, certain people are entitled to special privileges. They're called winners. That's the way the world works.
Xander: And what about that nutty 'all men are created equal' thing?
Cordelia: Propaganda spouted out by the ugly and less deserving.

Admiral Pressman: I have a lot of friends at Starfleet Command, Captain!
Cap. Picard: (under his breath) You're going to need them.
Star Trek: The Next Generation, "The Pegasus"

    Music 

The law don't mean shit if you got the right friends
That's how this country's run
I fought the law and I won
I fought the law and I won.

To be famous is so nice
Suck my dick, kiss my ass
In limousines, we have sex
Every night with my famous friends
—"Frank Sinatra", Miss Kittin & The Hacker

    Stand-Up Comedy 

Some men are born great, some achieve greatness, and some get it as a graduation gift, that's okay!
Robin Williams, Live on Broadway

    Video Games 

Alfred Woden had kept his word. With his influence, ridiculously, I had emerged from my history of violence unscathed, a hero. I didn't thank him. I couldn't stomach it.

I'm famous! FUCK YOU! I can do whatever I want! Those are the rules, civilian!
Peter Dreyfuss, Grand Theft Auto V

Don't worry, Sweet's just fine. He gets touched, a prison guard goes home and finds that his wife and kids have been murdered. Everything's under control.

    Web Original 

Of course, being a remote destruction kind of guy he wouldn't be directly involved in the bloodshed, and if the strategy failed his rich parents could bail him out (they eventually did).
Rational Wiki on Weather Underground co-founder Bill Ayers

I can’t wait to use it when the cashier at CVS tells me my card has been declined again. “I am a Kennedy. My last name means ‘Kennedy’ in Japanese. Google me. If you don’t give me my stuff, the governor will be calling.”
Michael K., "Google Me, You Dumb Fuck"

Ray Rice: The act of hitting one's girlfriend or fiancée excessively. This will be followed by a bruised face and negative press, but don't worry you'll only get suspended for 2 games. (If you smoke one pot, expect to miss the rest of the season).

The Patriots direct deposit hundreds of thousands of dollars into a quadruple murderer's checking account every two weeks.

    Western Animation 

Heather: She got voted out fair and square!
Courtney: Sorry, Heather, but myself and the law firm of Fleckman, Fleckman, Cohen, and Strauss would beg to differ. We filed a wrongful dismissal lawsuit against the producers, and won!
Total Drama Action, "Ocean's Eight (Or Nine)"

"My dad's gotta say something about everything I do, 'cause I'm the mayor's son. And I'm like, 'you can't tell me what to do, I'm the mayor's...wait'."
Buck Dewey, Steven Universe